Hiya! I've gotten great feedback on this and I've decided to continue! I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter!

Disclaimer: Own Final Fantasy 7 I do not.

"Ew, I don't know what I'd do if I ever got an STD." Yuffie said getting herself together with the girls. "I mean have you ever heard of all the ones that are out there?"

Aeris nodded. "Yeah. I was so afraid to get them; I didn't even sleep with my old boyfriend."

"Oh they're not that bad!" Tifa said tying her hair. "I've had a bunch of them!"

Aeris and Yuffie looked at her with a mixture of disgust and pity.

"Yeah… I even think my name is in a book somewhere…"

"YOU LADIES READY!" They heard Barret say from outside the curtain.

"Oh, yeah!" Tifa said leaving but before leaving the tent scratched the upper inside of her skirt.

The group packed up they're tents and went on with walking the seemingly endless desert when they all heard very feminine laughter.

"What are you laughing at!" Aeris said threateningly to Cloud.

"I-it w-wasn't me!"

"Mmmmmmm, it was me darling."

The group members turned quickly and found their arch enemy Sephiroth in a beach chair enjoying a cool pink beverage. His tinted glasses and Speedo were a bright purple and his long hair flowed down his toned body. "How is everyone!" He said prancing up to the group. "Oh! You all look fabulous!" He placed a kiss on each side of their cheeks. "Oh it's been so long!" Pink lip gloss was visible on his lips.

The group stared at the "man" in disbelief. This was the Sephiroth that killed countless people? This was the black cloaked person they met on the boat to Costa De Sol?

He lowered his glasses. "Why is everyone looking at me funny?"

"Well… you look… different." Cloud said for the stunned group.

"Oh my god, you noticed!" His high pitched voice was unbearable. "I got a little bo done before my vacation!"

"Bo?" Yuffie said confused.

"Botox silly!" He said trying to gently pat the girl on the arm but sent her flying back. "He he he! Whoopsies!"

The silver haired man looked towards the sky and exhaled deeply. "I just thought I needed a vacation from my "I want to kill everyone in sight" rampage ya know?"

The group muttered in agreement.

"Yeah. The weather here is just super and even mother is enjoying it!"

The group looked over Sephiroth's shoulder and saw three black cloaked figures playing monkey in the middle with Jenova's head. He smiled.

"So what are you guys doing here!" He held the straw to his lips and drank.

"We're… lost." Red said.

"Oh! That's positively horrible!" He held out one finger. "One minute while I reapply!" He brought out a tube of sparkly pink lip gloss that was labeled "Oh so fabulous!" He used a compact mirror to apply the shimmering gloss then returned to the group.

"Do you like? It's a new color I'm trying! It's raspberry flavored! Yum!"

"It's really pretty!" Tifa said. "May I use it?"

A hidden evil grin came to him. "Sure hunny."

Tifa took his compact and gloss and applied it and smacked her whore lips.

Sephiroth started to laugh an evil yet high pitched laugh.

"You poisoned me!" Tifa screamed.

"WORSE."

"What did you do you sexy evil bastard!"

His laughing stopped for a moment and a flash went off. He fanned himself with a Polaroid and grinned.

"Gimme that!" Tifa snatched the picture and looked at it, desperate to find out what he had done. "What did you do!"

"Isn't it obvious?" He said snatching the picture back. "That gloss totally doesn't match your skin tone and you look like a fool!"

The group all looked at Tifa and muttered in agreement.

He sighed. "Sometimes I'm to evil for my own good…"

Short chapter but this is how I normally write. Please R&R!