We return to our brave heroes standing in a very creepy castle hidden in the back of an alley with a humongous door knocked down staring at the villain who is making a V with his fingers.
Sakura: gosh, here we are in the very thick of tension and danger. What is perhaps the least helpful thing I can do right about now? Oh, wait, I know!-snore...
Sakura falls asleep, falling backwards and with amazing precision right into Syaoran's arms, who obviously takes control of the situation.
Syao (drops her): Mission, mission, mission.
Villain, Kurogane, and Fai all stare at the stupefied Syaoran as he searches for the feather.
Villain: Wow.
Fai:...yeah. I've got nothing to say to that.
Kurogane: Come on, let's gets this over with. I need another Ultra Cool Fight Scene.
Fai (flipping through a manga): Ooo, sorry, but your quota has been filled up for this world. See? Clamp basically gives you one good fight scene per new episode.
Kurogane: What! Kyo in Samurai Deeper Kyo doesn't have a quota! Neither does that monkey-ass Goku in DragonballZ! Or that loser Yusuke in Yu Yu Hakusho! Why the hell do I have a quota?
Fai: Face it, pokey, this series is about the non-horny teens. We're secondary characters.
Kurogane: Call me 'pokey' again and we'll find out just how far your head can go up your a--
Villain: YO! LOSERS! I have the feather! Quit bickering and let's get on with this. I need to catch Desperate Housewives on TiVo.
Syao (sees feather and transforms from a single minded teen to a double minded teen): Mission, mission, FEATHER!
Villain: Wait, before we get into this, I must reveal my part in the past few pages which all but one of you were completely and utterly oblivious to.
Fai: psst...guess who knew.
The villain launches into a sweet explanation of what exactly he did to get our heroes to this exact spot. Close ups of all the characters reveal their incredibly complex thoughts as they are listening to the VERY LARGE RECAP of the last episode.
Kurogane (thinking): ...totally cooler than Goku...and his no-good son...
Syao (thinking): mission…mission…mission..
Fai (thinking): spam…Kuro-pu…covered in spam…
Readers (thinking): Wow, I never guessed! So the creatures really were sent by the villain? Who knew?
Fai (feigning innocence): cough, cough.
The Villain continues blabbing and wasting the S+S shippers' precious S+S time, and the K+F shippers the K+F time. (This is the few times when all the shippers are united in a single cause: Hurry up to the romance and shirtless-ness, Clamp!)
But suddenly something strange is happening to our favorite non-horny boy.
Syao: suddenly I'm feeling strange...
In seconds, our happy-go-lucky-non-horny boy changes his whole manner into the other Syaoran many have dubbed as "Evil Syaoran".
Evil Syao: Ha-ha. I rule. Watch me as I command the body of this puny wimp.
Evil Syaoran knocks out the villain in the middle of his explanation (the readers cheer), and grabs the feather doing a complete aerial spinning move, while looking awesomely cool. Evil Syaoran than goes away, leaving normal Syaoran alone.
Syao: You know, I just had some dude take over my whole body and yet I decide not to tell anyone. Why do I get the weird foreboding feeling that this is seriously gonna backfire on me sometime in the future at an extremely critical point later in the story? Hm, I wonder...
Syaoran returns the feather to Sakura, who wakes up and looks around. She and Syaoran lock eyes, and Fai and Kurogane mysteriously disappear for the convenience of the author.
Sakura: My gosh, now that my feather haves been returned to me and I won't be sleepy for a full five minutes, you are looking extremely handsome to me right now.
Syao: My gosh, now that my mind is not completely preoccupied with getting your stupid feathers, I can see that you are wearing an extremely revealing outfit and looking extremely sexy.
Sakura: Wanna make out?
Syao: Sure do. But we have to keep up the tension, right? Or else there'd be no story.
Sakura: Damn.
Syao: Let's make out in the fanfics.
Sakura: Okay!
At that lovely note, the last scene ends and a cute preview for the next episode unjustfully teases the readers.
Fai (sitting around at the after party): You know, this author really sucks at getting out chapters on time.
Kurogane (sipping from a tropical smoothie with a little umbrella in it): You're right. What an idiot. Whoever's writing this probably has some stupid lame excuse, too. "Oh, I had exams all week, I'm tired, I'm a loser with no social life," blah, blah, blah.
Apelles: Hey! ... (Mutters)...I did have tests...
Kurogane: humph. Weakling.
Apelles: Watch it, or I'll have you two smack lips.
Fai (eyes widen): Really?
Kurogane (sword posed and ready): Ah, HELL NO!
Apelles: Oh hush up. "Pokey"
Kurogane: Why, I'll--
Fai: Um, question, Apelles. Why are you dragging this out so long? I thought the story just ended. That's why we're having the "after party".
Apelles: Excellent question, Fai! You see, the reason for this after party is not only for fishing for reviews and laughs, but also to bring to attention the fact that I just finished my first multi chapter story! Whoot! Go Apelles!
Kurogane: This? This lame parody is your first multi chapter story? Gods, you are pathetic!
Fai: That is a bit sad, dear...
Apelles: Oh, shove it. I knew you two would not appreciate this. Anyways, this has been an actually pretty successful parody, with a full 23 reviews by the time I write this. Of, course; I can not take all the credit. Several ideas came straight from my forum, where people contributed to the topic, "Er...More Booty?". The humor is mainly due to them, and I thank them dearly for providing me with some of the more memorable phrases I patched together. All mistakes and stupid parts came complete from me, and I take credit for that.
Kurogane: Yeah, whatever. Get on with your other, more important stories already.
Apelles: I'm getting to that. Thanks to the kind reviews, who surprised me by not reporting me to the FFnet fuzz and actually liking what I wrote. And finally, yes, my other "more important" stories have not been put on hold, and I am working right now on the two major stories. Hopefully more chapters will be coming as soon as possible. Cheers
Kurogane: Yo, give me a BMW motorcycle in one of your next oneshots. And stop using the kid. We all know he's an idiot.
Apelles: Bye!