Trouble at the Boar's Nest
Summary: When Bo and Luke take a temporary job at the Boar's Nest, Boss Hogg pins a robbery on them, intending to lock them away forever!
A/N: The first chapter might not be so good, but it'll be better later on. Now if you really want to make me happy and also actually write the second chapter, then you will review, even if you really hate it!
Chapter One: Plotting and Scheming 101
Balladeer: Welcome ta Hazzard County; ya'll, where peaceful days like this one are usually ruined by noontime. There goes the General Lee, Bo and Luke Duke's orange stockcar. Bo and Luke are cousins, and they fight the system. I wonder where them boys are headed off to in such a hurry.
"Hurry up, Bo," Luke said. "We gotta git ta the Boar's Nest in less than five minutes."
"Don't you worry, cousin," Bo answered. "We'll get there." He pushed the pedal practically to the floor.
"And shake Rosco?" Luke asked.
Bo looked through the rearview mirror and saw Rosco's patrol car closing in on them. "And shake Rosco." He sped up even more.
Inside Rosco's car, he had that shiny-cheeked grin on his face. "Oh, we got 'em Flash, we got 'em!" he told Flash, his beloved Bassett Hound.
Then a voice came over the CB. "Rosco, are you out there?"
"This is Sheriff Rosssssssssscoooooooo P. Coooooltrane, whatcha need lil fat buddy?" The voice unmistakably belonged to J.D. Hogg, county commissioner and owner of basically every business in Hazzard.
"First off, I ain't yer 'lil fat buddy.' Second, where are you?"
"On Hatchapee Road. Me an' Flash, we're in hot pursuit o' them Duke boys! Khew, khew, I love it, I love it!"
"I'd love ta see yer butt down here at the police station, pronto!" Boss Hogg ordered.
"But the Duke boys-"
Boss cut him off. "Forget about the Dukes!"
"Okay, Boss," Rosco said. "I'm on my way. Over and out."
Uh-oh. This could be where the trouble starts. Hang on ta yer hats, ya'll. This is gonna get bumpy.
When Rosco turned around, the Duke boys looked at each other, confused.
"That can't be good," Luke said.
"Maybe it can," Bo answered. "We're at the Boar's Nest, with a minute to spare. An' that's good, cause Daisy'd tan our hides if we were late."
Luke nodded in agreement.
Ya see folks, believe it or not, there are other waitresses at the Boar's Nest besides Daisy. But today, they're out with the flu, so Daisy volunteered the boys ta fill in.
Bo and Luke weren't too excited about being waiters for a day or two.
"Yer W.I.T.'s are here," Bo said unenthusiastically.
"W.I.T.'s?" Daisy and Luke asked in unison.
"Waiters-In-Training," Bo explained.
"Oh," Daisy said. "Okay, you two W.I.T.'s, let's get ta work."
Meanwhile, Rosco showed up at the police station.
"Rosco! Where have you been?" Boss Hogg asked.
"Well, ya see-" Rosco said as he set Flash down on a chair.
Boss cut him off. "Oh never mind that! I think I finally got the perfect way ta git them Dukes in jail! Maybe even all four of them!" Boss laughed.
"Oh, I knew I saw somethin' cookin' behind them beady little eyes," Rosco said. "Khew, khew!"
Boss glared at him before continuing. "They're fillin' in at the Boar's Nest today, right?"
Rosco nodded, shiny-cheeked grin and all.
"All we have ta do," Boss went on, "is take some money from my safe over there, hide it in the General Lee, and then you'll find it and arrest them boys!"
Rosco laughed and grinned. "Oh, Boss, that's a good plan! We're gonna git them Dukes!"
Yep, there's the trouble.
Meanwhile, back at the Boar's Nest, Bo and Luke knew what to do, so they started serving up beers and things.
Bo had one particularly annoying customer, a local Hazzard girl named Becky Lynn.
Ya'll know how Bo's always makin' a play for the ladies, but the ladies don't like 'im fer it? Well friends, it's the opposite with Becky Lynn Gaehrety. She's the one tryin' ta get Bo, and he don't like her too much.
"Hey there, Bo-bear," Becky Lynn greeted with a smile. Bo plastered a smile on his face that was faker than 3-dollar bills.
"Hey Becky Lynn," Bo said, somewhat unenthusiastically. Sometimes he wasn't sure why he had to be so nice to Becky Lynn. "Can I getcha anything?" Please say no; please say no, Bo pleaded silently.
She kept on smiling. "Not right now," she said. Thank you Lord! Bo thought before Becky Lynn continued. "I have all I need right here."
No, no, no! Dang it! I was so close! Bo screamed in his head.
Becky Lynn reached around and slapped Bo on the butt. His eyes popped out of his head as she did so. "Siddown!" she ordered.
"Sorry," Bo said with as much niceness as he could muster. "I should get back to work."
Luke, who had been behind Becky Lynn where Bo could see him, had watched the whole butt-slapping episode. When he saw the look on Bo's face, he couldn't help but laugh out loud. Bo gave him a downright evil stare. Luke abruptly stopped laughing and went back to work. But after a few seconds, he couldn't contain his laughter anymore.
Daisy had not seen it. She did see Luke's second fit of laughter, so she went over to her older cousin.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"Becky Lynn put a number on Bo," Luke said, grinning.
Bo had finally broke free of Becky Lynn at this point, so he joined his cousins. "Daisy, you sent me to her table on purpose, didn't you?" Bo accused.
Daisy looked at him harshly. "Beauregard Duke, if yer gonna accuse me like that, I'll put yer clean laundry out in Maudine the mule's stall!" she threatened.
Bo knew she meant business, because of the use of his full name, which he hated. Luke, however, knew no fear.
"Daisy," Luke said in a serious tone, "don't do that ta Maudine."
Daisy laughed, Bo did not.
Boss Hogg and Rosco waited until the late hours of the night, after the Dukes were the only ones left in the Boar's Nest, cleaning it. Boss opened his safe, gave the money to Rosco so he could put it in the trunk of the General Lee.
"He he he," Boss laughed after Rosco went outside. "I finally got them Duke boys!"
Do ya'll think it's gonna be that simple? I sure don't. Don't get up now, this is gonna get real interestin'.
A/N: There ya have it folks! Now bring on them reviews! NOW! Please?