A/N: Just a short thing I thought of when I should be doing my ToK. I know it is short but what are you going to do? P
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Cry
Cry. That was all she wanted to do. Nothing else. She didn't want to eat or sleep or talk or be polite or anything else she normally did. The only thing that she wanted was to cry. But she couldn't. It was the only thing she couldn't do. Because she didn't cry. Or so they though.
They didn't know that late at night when everyone was sleeping and she was locked in her bedroom she let a river flood from her eyes, a river that wouldn't stop. Eventually she had to close the gate and face a new day, a day of smiling and being polite and like everyone expected. But it wasn't her. Deep down she knew she was the one to blame for it all. She had wanted to do her best, and all of a sudden people had started expecting the best. And she didn't want to disappoint them. She didn't want to be recognized as a failure.
In the beginning it hadn't been that hard. But as time went by people started seeing her like perfect and now she was tired of it. She wasn't perfect but she was the only one who knew because no one else knew her. But she couldn't let them down. She had created this charade, now she was just paying the price. And it was high. Sleepless nights and never ending tears. Sometimes a crack appeared in the gate during the day. When that happened she would sneak off. So no one would know.
She hated that she did that because the only thing she wanted was for someone to notice. That someone would care. Someone who would save her, not from the world but from herself. She wanted to get out but she didn't know how. And keeping up the charade was growing harder every second. Soon the gates would burst and there wouldn't be any possible way to repair them. She knew it and she wanted everyone else to know it to. But she couldn't tell them that she wasn't perfect, because if she wasn't then who was she? She would be a stranger. And you don't help to repair strangers. So she screamed, not with her mouth but in every other way possible. She rebelled. Refused her fathers wishes, broke it off with her boyfriend. And still they didn't notice. Thinking it was just a phase, that it would pass. She knew it wouldn't.
But she left that fall. Collage. The tears came with her. She couldn't leave them behind. And the screaming continued. Every time she saw a movie she cursed that her life wasn't like that. Where was her savior? Of course he didn't exist she knew that but sometimes it was nice to think that he did. But it was getting harder than before. She knew that it was close now. The gates weren't going to last much longer. Years of water pressuring at them had made the planks rotten.
Today was a day with a crack. And she snuck of like always. Because all she wanted to do know was cry. If she didn't she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to catch another breath. So here she was, alone and crying. The only time she was real, a person, not a character. She heard a noise, sniffled and looked up and there he was. He had seen her.
So what did you think? Terrible? Confusing? Boring? Let me know. Thanks