A Word from Key18: I'm honored to co-write this story along with other writers. When I first heard the idea I was thrilled to do it. Especially considering I love Family Guy, though I'm not too familiar with Juniper, but I'm willing to give it a shot. This chapter may have a T rating, but I'll try to keep it as clean as possible. For those of you who know me, expect the writing style most of you have seen from my famous parody, Kingdom Hearts: The Nintendo Version. Anyhow enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 3: A Freaking Sweat Investigation
Quahog was a small suitable town, rested between a small cu-de-sac and a small city area. There were small houses lined up on a small street known as "Spooner Street". One of the houses on the street was a brown house that was a single floor building. In front of the house was a small porch, which had a small slope connecting to the bottom. On the porch was a bench that was next to the door. Two wooden poles were standing on the porch, holding the poles up high. The door to the house opened, revealing a man coming out of it.
However, this man rolled his way out of the house. He was a paraplegic, his legs paralyzed, meaning he couldn't walk, but had to use a wheelchair. His upper body was well built; he wore a gray t-shirt, blues jeans, and black shoes. He also had very short brown hair. It looked like he was in the army. He name was Joe Swanson, a man who may be paralyzed from the waist down, but is one of the greatest police officers in Quahog. He used his hands to wheel down the small ramp set up for him. As he headed out of his driveway, another man greeted him.
This man was an African-American; he wore a yellow shirt, and had blue jeans. He had a small, black moustache, and a small Afro-like hair. His eyes were very narrow, and he greeted the officer with a monotonous voice. He was known as Cleveland Brown.
"Hello, Joe," Cleveland greeted Joe, "Are you on your way to the trial, too?"
"Yeah," Joe replied. He then got upset. "I can't believe Griffin's kid is holding this stupid trial. I'm an officer of the law, and no one forces the law to do anything!" He then shouted. "I'd have him locked up for holding an illegal trail, if he didn't threaten us with making the entire town watch reruns of Catwoman for the rest of our lives." He then sighed. "Even an officer of the law is powerless against Halley Barry in leather."
"It's not that bad," Cleveland said. "Not as bad as the time I was on jury for a trial of the century."
A flashback occurs, showing Cleveland in a courtroom with the jury. He stood up, holding a piece of paper in his hand. The judge shifted his eyes over to the man.
"Well, have you reached a decision?" the judge asked.
Cleveland looked at the paper, dictating what it said, "We the jury find Swiper E. Swipous the Third, guilty of swiping two-hundred dollars out of Quahog's first national bank."
On the defendant desk, a small orange fox that wore a blue eye strap, and blue gloves angrily stood up from his seat, slamming his gloved hands onto the desk.
"Aw, what kind of crap is that?" the fox protested. "I'm innocent I tell you! And non of you will take me alive!"
The fox jumped out of the defendant's seat, and rolled by a police officer, sneakily grabbing a gun out of his holster. He then ran over to the jury area, and harshly held the gun up to Cleveland's head, but surprisingly didn't even make a nervous look. Swiper put his finger on the trigger, ready to push at anytime. A S.W.A.T team entered the room, holding see through shields, and police sticks.
"Swiper," one of the cops called. "Put the gun down and step away from that man."
"I warn you," Swiper threatened. "One step closer and the fat guy will get it."
Soon the entire crowed shouted out, "Swiper, no swiping!"
Swiper started to sweat nervously. He despised that saying. He pressed the gun into Cleveland's forehead even harder, his finger slightly pushing the trigger.
"I'll do it!" Swiper threatened again. "I will!" The entire crowd said the same thing two more times, making it so annoying to the fox that he finally surrendered and dropped the gun. "Oh, man!" Taking the chance, the S.W.A.T team tackled him, and began beating him with the sticks in hand, with everyone else watching him scream in anguish. "Ahh! Ahh! Oh, god! Oh, god! My spine!"
Back to present day, Joe slowly wheels away with Cleveland following.
"Let's head over to the Griffin house, Cleveland," Joe said. "Besides, they're having a free buffet."
Though he was excited, Cleveland still expressed it in a monotonous way, "Oh, I would love to have some of their finger sandwiches, only if they have turkey on them."
The two men walked off towards the yellow house next door. Both were unaware that a stranger was lurking in the shadows. The stranger hid behind a tree, right near by the Spooner Street sign. From what was shown, the figure appeared to be female. The figure was quick as she moved from one part of the area to another, hiding behind houses. Peaking her head out, she appeared to be a gothic girl with purple hair, her eyes always seemed to be closed, and she wore a black shirt with a skeleton printed on it.
She slowly placed a small package on the ground. It appeared to be in the form of a present as she placed it down. She scanned the area, making sure nobody was watching her back. Then, she disappeared into a shadow of a tree, never to be seen again in this world.
Meanwhile, the Reptar Jet slowly pulled up to the world, the engines slowly dying down. Juniper leaned out of her seat to get a glimpse of the world, noticing it looked like a completely normal town to her. In fact, it sort of reminded her of home, without the crummy way it looked.
"Here we are," Lil announced. "Our first world."
Juniper slowly sat back down in her seat and turned to Lil, "Doesn't look like anything unique."
"This world is unique... sort of," Lil said. "It's called Quahog, and weird things happen there all the time."
"Like Twilight Zone weird?" Juniper asked.
"Hey, I just read the description, I'm not a psychic!" snapped the royal magician.
"Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." Juniper said rolling her eyes.
Lil sighed, covering her ears from a very loud, uncomfortable sound.
"Sorry, Juniper, but whatever that sound is, it's annoying the heck out of me." Lil groaned, covering her ears.
Juniper recognized the sound as a snoring sound. Looking over her seat, the keyblade master saw Phil, who was sleeping in his chair, snoring loudly.
"Oh, it's only Phil," Juniper announced. She covered her ears from the loud, shattering snore. "Dang, he's loud!" He looked back at Lil, who was rolling her eyes. "Should I wake him?"
"Let him sleep," Lil replied. "He'll be awake when Susie beams us down to the world."
"Hey, what about me?" complained Angelica. "I can land you twerps perfectly down there."
Susie rolled her eyes, "Lil, let her beam you down."
"Okay, okay, fine," Lil had groaned.
"Hey, wait, shouldn't we land the jet?" Juniper asked in surprise.
"Do you want the Reptar Jet to get stolen while it's out in the open?" Lil asked with a groan. "Our vessel stands out, considering you don't see many people park a giant jet shaped like Godzilla in a parking lot, and with the kind of crowd hanging out there I'm not about to lose this ship."
"Eh, works for me." shrugged Juniper.
Angelica reached over for a button on the control panel and pressed it. A loud beeping sound went off, indicating that the jet was prepared to beam the kids down. Juniper stood up and stretched her muscles out from sitting so long. She felt relieved to finally stand up and was more excited to encounter her first world. The two girls walked over and grabbed Phil, knowing that not even the beam sound could wake Phil up.
"Man, he is a deep sleeper," commented Juniper.
"He should wake up when we arrive." said Lil.
Soon the area began to glow a blue light that surrounded the kids with Phil still asleep. Juniper looked around in amazement as the light got brighter and brighter. She felt a force of gravity pull her and the twins away from the Reptar Jet. It was a very fast feeling as they were moving at light speed. Soon, the brightness dimmed and she noticed a blue sky. They were no longer in the beam she thought, but where were they?
Looking down, she gasped in horror to notice they were hundred feet in the air. Juniper turned to Lil with a panicked look in her eyes.
"Please tell me this is your idea of a joke," Juniper said nervously.
"If this was a joke I'd be laughing," she gulped nervously. "And I'm not laughing." Juniper gave her a dirty look. "What? This was my first time using the tractor beam."
"Yeah, nice try though," Juniper said sarcastically.
Soon the force of gravity pulled the three kids down to earth, screaming all the way, except for Phil who was still asleep.
"Jeez, even Rip van Winkle can't sleep through this," Juniper said as she noticed Phil was still asleep.
"WAKE UP!" Lil shouted as she bonked Phil on the head with Cynthia doll.
"Ouch!" cried Phil as he woke up. He then angrily looked at Lil. "What was that for? I was dreaming about silver hammers, octopus's gardens, and Mr. Kite." He then looked down, still a bit drowsy. "Hey are we falling from the sky?"
"No, the world is coming to us with a big hug and giving us a warm welcome," Lil said sarcastically. She then screeched. "OF COURSE WE"RE FALLING, PHILIP!"
"Well, you don't have to shout, Lillian!" Phil argued. He then screamed in realization. "Oh, no, we're falling!"
"Thanks for realizing that now, Captain Obvious," Juniper groaned.
They screamed, fearing for their lives as they fell faster and faster. Juniper needed to think of a way to stop them from falling. She noticed a large building right next to them as they fell. She snapped her fingers in realization on what to do. Quickly, she called forth the keyblade and stabbed it into the hard structure of the building. The reaction caused sparks to appear as the blade rubbed sharply against the ruble.
She pushed her feet onto the building to try and slow down the speed. It wasn't long before she completely stopped. Letting her other hand go, she then grabbed Lil's hand, with Phil grabbing his sister's hand. They completely stopped in midair, the keyblade deep in the building, The three kids sighed with relief, their heart rate went completely down as they relaxed. The twins looked up at the keyblade master with a sign of gratitude.
"Man, thanks, June," Phil sighed with relief. "You saved our butts back there."
"Eh, doing what comes natural," Juniper said proudly.
"So, um, what do we do now?" Lil asked now.
Juniper scanned the area and noticed a window right above them, "Hang on! Just a little pull, and I can reach that window."
Juniper looked up to see the window open. She noticed a man with short gray and wearing a business suit looked out of the window, noticing the trio hanging on for dear life. This man was known as Adam West, the mayor of Quahog. He looked rather delighted to see them.
"Oh, goodie," he said with a low voice. "It is time for my morning pities."
"Huh?" Juniper asked in confusion.
She looked at the twins who shrugged their shoulders, also confused about the man's words. It all of a sudden snapped into their minds as the mayor reached his hand out the window, grabbing June's index finger.
"This little pity went to market..."
He pushed the index finger off the handle of the keyblade.
"Wait!" the twins cried.
The mayor ignored their cries as he took her middle finger, pushing it off the handle.
"This little pity stayed home..."
Juniper felt her body slightly moving downward as she lost more of her fingers. She lost so much that she couldn't even bring her fingers back up. Her heart pounded with fear, knowing she couldn't sustain much longer. She could feel the sweat dripping down her face.
"This little pity had roast beef..."
Another finger came off, leaving the very weak ring finger behind.
"STOP IT YOU OLD PSYCHO!" screeched Lil.
"And this little pity went..."
He released the final finger, sending the kids screaming to their doom far below. The keyblade also disappeared, reappearing in Juniper's hand. Adam West looked down as he saw the kids fall.
"Oh, no!" he gasped in horror. "I've run out of pities!" He then looked up at the sky, waving his fist angrily. "Curse you pity collectors! You think you can hunt down every last pity? Well, think again, not while Mayor Adam West is on the job!"
He then extended his arm into his apartment, pointing his finger, "To the West-mobile!"
He ran through his apartment, arriving at a small metal pole, which randomly appeared out of nowhere. He jumped onto the pole, sliding down it, which only went one floor down. As he arrived, he jumped in a small Tonka toy jeep, which was red. Since he was an adult, he could barely fit in, but was able to start it. The car basically moved only an inch, but he shouted at the car.
"Ride like the wind, baby!" he cried. "We'll catch those pitty-nappers and they'll pay dearly."
Meanwhile, the kids continued to fall, slightly confused about the incident with Mayor West, but needed to focus on saving themselves. Lil has already given up hope as she started crying.
"This can't happen to me!" she cried. "I'm too pretty to die! I have so much to live for!"
"Relax!" Juniper snapped. "We'll find someway to land safely!"
Phil then gasped in realization, remembering something he brought. Quickly slamming his hand into his pocket, he pulled out a small box with a cord that looked like a cord a wind up doll has. Reading the red label, he noticed it said, "In case the kings lazy cousin makes a stupid mistake, causing the tractor beam to make you fall from the sky, and a crazy old guy plays this little piggy went to market on you, open this package."
He quickly pulled the string, releasing a giant mattress that fell ahead of the kids and landed on the sidewalk. The trio landed in the sofa, which was able to break their fall. It lightly bounced them back up and back down. They sighed with relief as they fell back into the mattress, theirs arms spread out at their sides. Lil sat up and turned to her brother with an angry look.
"You mean to tell me you had a mattress this entire time?" Lil said angrily. "We went through all that stress for nothing?"
"Hey, you didn't ask." Phil argued.
"What? I'm supposed to ask you these things?" Lil groaned.
"Let's not worry about this now, guys," said Juniper who butted in. "We have work to do, remember?"
"Right you are, June," Lil said. "We have to find your friends and the king."
"Then let's rock and roll baby!" Phil cheered.
Before they could get off they noticed two men with beaten up clothing approaching them. To Juniper they appeared to be homeless people.
"Excuse us, but are you three using that mattress?" the man asked. The kids shook their heads.
The two men got on each side of the mattress and lifted up. The titled it over which caused the three to fall to the ground, landing flat on their faces. The two men hurried away with the mattress, leaving Juniper, Lil, and Phil in confusion. The three stood up and shook their heads off. Juniper pumped her fist into the air with excitement.
"Let's go!" Juniper cried.
"Hold up!" Lil said as she stopped Juniper. "There is something you should know before we wander off into a new world."
"Aw, lectures?" Juniper moaned.
"Hey, this is important so listen up," Lil said firmly. She then cleared her throat "Now, while we're in other worlds we're not allow to meddle or let onto where we are from. Catastrophic things will happen if we do."
"Great Scott, a paradox?" Juniper asked in shock.
"Not from Back to the Future like, but still pretty bad." Lil responded. "Other than that we're free to roam."
"Okay," Juniper nodded. She then turned to the city. "Then look out world cause here we come!"
The three made their way into the town where their fist adventure was about to begin.
World Name: Quahog, Rhode Island
The three kids walked through the small town part of Quahog, noticing the many small stores and shops. Juniper didn't take too much interest in this world because it seemed to be a normal town just like he home world. She and the twins noticed that the town was completely deserted, not a single soul was in town. Juniper felt body tremble at the site of no one around.
"This is odd," Lil said with suspicion. "A lot of people live in this town, and yet it's like this place is a ghost town."
"Yeah, this is like Twilight Zone weird," Phil commented. "Though they don't show good episodes anymore."
A flashback occurs showing a man in an airplane seat, looking around nervously. He was sweating rapidly and it looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Slowly turning to the window he noticed something that shocked him. Outside of the window, on the wing of the plane was a small leprechaun who wore all green clothing.
"Shh." the leprechaun whispered. "Don't tell them I'm here because they'll be after me Lucky Charms."
The two men looked at each other for a few moments and then the men on the plane screamed.
"Ahh! There's a man on this plane!" the man panicked.
"Now don't panic!" the leprechaun said nervously, trying to calm the man down.
The two continued the same pattern with the man screaming and the leprechaun trying to calm him down. Other people soon gathered by the plane as they saw him freak out. Inside the plane, the man grabbed a giant book and threw it out the window, hitting the leprechaun in the head, knocking him off the wing. The commotion soon ended and everyone returned to sit down.
The man sighed with relief and looked out the window again, this time to see a tiger that stood on two feet and had orange fur and black stripes.
"Isn't gggggrrrrrreat to travel on a wing?" the tiger asked.
The man screamed again upon seeing the tiger. As the flashback ended, the kids arrived right by a television repair shop. Juniper leaned her head into the story, noticing nobody was around. It was a small shop with televisions all around. It was quite, Juniper thought. Way too quiet.
"Wow, this place is totally empty," Juniper said.
"It is even starting to get creepy," Lil gulped nervously.
"Agree with you there, sis." Phil nodded to his sister. He then put his hands in his pockets, sighing. "Man, wouldn't it be great if something like came along to lead us in a directions?"
"That only happens in movies, Phillip." Lil pointed out.
All of a sudden the kids heard someone panting down the street. They turned to notice a teenage was coming at them. He was a fat young man with long blonde hair; two earnings in his ears, a baseball cap that was colored yellow and the sides were black. He also had a double chin. He wore a blue t-shirt, black sweat pants, and white sneakers with red stripes. He was hurrying down the street and ran past the kids.
"Oh, man! Oh, man!" the boy cried. "I am so late! If I don't get there soon that brother of mine will make me live with the evil monkey in my closet."
"Huh?" Juniper said with a stumped look.
"Evil monkey?" Lil asked raising an eyebrow in quirk.
"I don't get it." Phil said scratching his head.
"I wonder where he's going to in a hurry?" questioned Lil as she scratched her chin. "And what does he mean by trial?"
"Hey, this could be the break we've been looking for!" Juniper said excitedly. "Maybe this kid is going to where all the other citizens are."
"Makes sense to me." shrugged Lil.
All of a sudden the trio heard a musical fanfare of news broadcasts playing behind them. The kids turned to notice a logo that appeared across the screen saying, "Quahog 5 News."
"It is time for the Quahog 5 News," said the announcer. "Featuring Tom Tucker," the television showed a man with brown hair, a moustache, and a blue business suit. "And Diane Simmons." she had long red hair and wore a red woman's business suit. "Brining you the latest news in Quahog."
The scene cuts to the two news anchors sitting at their news desk.
"Welcome to the Quahog 5 News," said Tom Tucker. "I'm Tom Tucker with Diane Simmons and we're here to give you today's local news." The camera does a close up of him. "Recently superhero sidekicks are protesting to DC comics about the low income they get from appearing in comics and movies. We now go to the news 5 chopper for our live coverage."
The camera shows several superheroes sidekicks forming an angry mob outside of a building, which include Robin, Elastic Lad, and many others.
"Holy cheap-asses, Elastic Lad!" cried Robin. "Those DC sons-of-bitches are never going to increase are pay and I demand it so I can finally get a pink cape."
The sidekicks threw torches at the building, setting it on fire. Many people who worked there came running out with a scream. The sidekicks began to beat them up. The camera cuts back to the two news anchors.
"Well, it looks like those DC workers really got a side kick, Tom," joked Diane.
"Indeed, Diane," Tom responded. "And I'm sure Robin will get a chance to make Batman his dynamic duo, if you know what I mean?"
"No, I don't get it." Diane said while still facing the camera.
"Go to hell, Diane," Tom whispered to her.
"Right back at you, Tom," Diane responded.
Clearing his throat, Tom continued, "Now then, let's move onto the Black-U-Weather forecast with our weatherman Ollie Williams. Ollie?"
The camera cuts to an African American man with a business suit on, holding a microphone up to his mouth. He is standing at the beach and is pointing at the sun in the sky.
"It's burning outside!" the man shouted.
The camera returns to Tom and Diane at their desks.
"Thank you, Ollie," Tom said. "Now, the major story is a recent unauthorized trial is being held at Thirty-One Spooner Street where the Griffin family resides. Everyone in Quahog is forced to attend it and if they don't, we will be punished greatly." He shivers. "Ooh, Diane, just watching Catwoman sends chills down your spine and I don't want to see reruns for the rest of my life."
"Right you are, Tom," Diane agreed. "The location of the trial at the Griffin house is unknown as nobody seems to be in the house, although the door is wide open at the house."
"We now go live to action news 5 Asian correspondent Trisha Takanowa with more on the story." Tom said
The camera cuts to a skinny Asian woman who wore a blue business suit, blue dress, black hair, and wore yellow earrings was standing outside of a light yellow shingled house that was two floored, and had a red door on the front. She held a microphone near her mouth.
"Tom, I'm standing outside of the Griffin household, where a trial is taking place inside the building," she explained. "We don't know where the trial is taking place as they don't allow the press, the media, and the Night Elf to enter."
The camera cuts to a man wearing mediaeval type clothing that had blue skin, and blue hair.
"Oh, so that's how it's going to be, huh?" the man said angrily. "Then I am gone, man. He angrily walked off." Oh, and if you hear the words 'nuclear launch detected' just think of it as a token of the way you people treat us."
"We'll have more information for you as the day goes on." the woman continued.
Juniper excitedly got an idea, "Hey, maybe we can find something useful at this trial."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Lil said nervously. "We can't just barge into that place. Besides, the three of us don't even live in this world, so it is not our concern."
"Hey, we have to take anything that will lead us to the king!" Phil protested. "It is our sworn duty not to let him down. And we've got to find June's friends." He then walked next to Juniper. "I like her idea, sis."
"For once," Lil began with a smile. "You're right, Philip." She smiled and nodded. "Okay, we'll go."
"Yeah, for once I'm right," Phil cheered. He then stopped to think about what his sister said. He then got offended. "Hey!"
Juniper lightly giggled to herself upon hearing the joke. These two were fun to hang out with and it made the sadness of missing her world and friends disappear for a little while. They had work to do now, and had to find their friends. They had a feeling that was telling them to go to this trial.
"Let's follow that fat kid who ran by us," Juniper proclaimed. "He must be going to that trial, too."
"Right." the twins nodded in unison.
Before they left, they heard Tom Tucker one last time.
"And we'll give more coverage at a later time," Tom Tucker concluded. "And Juniper watch out of that tree."
Juniper wasn't watching where she was going and ran into a small tree. She fell over and hit the cement ground. A few minutes later, the kids ran down the street, catching up with the obese young man who was in a hurry. Juniper was ahead of the twins, running as fast as she could. The twins were next to each other and discussing something.
"Have you noticed that non of the heartless attacked us yet?" Lil asked her brother.
Phil made a look of disbelief, "Yeah, and the heartless are suppose to get attracted by the keyblade, and no one has attacked yet."
"Well, keep your eyes peeled," Lil instructed. "We don't know when they'll strike us. It could be any minute now."
Phil nodded to his sister and the three continued to follow the young man down the small street known as Spooner Street. The kids saw him run towards the yellow house on the street. The trio arrived at the entrance to the yellow house, looking up at it. They were wondering how almost an entire population of people was all crammed into the house.
"So, ready to go in?" Juniper asked her friends.
"This is kind of wrong," Lil objected. "We can't just simply barge into a house like this. We'd be disobeying the rules because if we do so..."
She noticed that Phil and Juniper already walked into the house, leaving her alone.
"Hey!" she shouted angrily. She then groaned. "Boy that felt awkward talking to no one. Though not as awkward as the time Phil tried out for that Mrs. Buttersworth commercial when we were five."
Lil had a flashback of Phil sitting in a studio kitchen at a round table. One of the people in the studio put a bottle of syrup shaped like a lady next to him. He looked at the bottle curiously as the director put his loudspeaker.
"Okay, Philip, now all you have to do is sit there and look at the syrup while our announcer speaks." the director instructed.
"Well, that sounds easy." smiled Phil.
"Action!"
The announcer spoke up, "Mrs. Buttersworth is so good and tasty, but only kids can understand what she's saying."
Phil excitedly looked at the bottle as expecting it to talk. He waited a few moments, but it said nothing.
"Mrs. Buttersworth?" Phil gasped in fear. "Mrs. Buttersworth?" He then started to panic. "OH MY GOSH, SHE'S DYING! SHE'S WON'T SPEAK!
"Cut!" the director snapped. "That's not what's suppose to..."
Phil grabbed the bottle and shook it violently. He then put on the table and began pounding in the middle of it.
"LIVE!" he cried. "LIVE!"
He pounded so hard that the pressure caused the syrup to spread everywhere, especially on Lil.
"Ugh!" she groaned. "And I just bought this new outfit!"
Phil quickly grabbed two wires that he broke in half and pushed them on the bottle, zapping it.
"YOU MUST LIVE!" Phil screamed.
Lil quickly tackled her brother to get him under control. The flashback ended as she groaned.
"Why did he and Dil have that bet to see who could eat the most chocolate bars?"
Lil walked into the house to join the others who stood in the living room of the house. They noticed a purple couch that faced a television right next to them. They noticed stairs going up to the second floor of the building. They also noticed a stereo set next to the doorway to the kitchen. Juniper noticed the picture of the Griffin family, one of which was the boy they were chasing after.
"Boy, this is some place to hold a trial," Juniper said sarcastically. "Where is everyone?"
"Maybe they're in another room." assumed Phil.
"That's impossible!" Lil said. "How can entire civilization fit into one room?"
"She does have a point." Juniper agreed.
They noticed an arrow on the wall next to the stairs. The trio knew at this point it was ridiculous, but they had to investigate the situation. The kids cautiously climbed up the stairs, slowly keeping their eyes out for the heartless. As they reached the top floor, they saw a door that said "To the Trial." on it. They looked at each other in disbelief, but decided to investigate. Entering it, they realized they were in a baby's room. Juniper noticed a white crib right next to her. To the right was a small brown bookcase with children's books.
Phil then looked down to see the kid that they were chasing. But what startled him was that he was as big as a tennis ball. He ran into a small toy house that had one floor, a red roof, and blue walls. They were baffled at seeing that. They all bent down to the house with questioned look.
"What the heck?" Juniper exclaimed. "Did he just get smaller?"
"Freaky." Phil added.
"No, the problem is you're simply too big." called a male voice.
They looked to see a small white dog with a red collar around his neck standing in front of the door. The twins gasped in surprise upon hearing a dog talk, and Juniper was already used to a talking dog so it didn't affect her as much.
"Is that dog talking to us?" Lil gasped.
"Whoa, cool!" Phil said in amazement. "Hey, what's it like sniffing another dog's butt?" The two girls glared at him with a sign of disgust. "What? I've always wanted to know."
"It simply smells like crap kid, what did you expect?" the dog said angrily. "What the hell do you think you three are doing here anyway?" He then took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm sorry, I just haven't had a damn cigarette all day because of this stupid trial."
He took out a small square bottle with a cap on top. He took the cap off and drank what was inside of it.
Juniper smiled, a little unsure, "Um, it's okay."
"Who are you three anyway?" the dog asked. "I've seen a lot of people in Quahog, but never you three."
"Right, I'm Phil," introduced Phil. He then pointed at Lil. "My sister Lil and our friend Juniper. Who are you?"
"Name's Brian Griffin, family dog," Brian introduced. "So what are you doing here anyway?"
"We're very curious about this trial and wondering what's going on." Lil answered.
"I can't really tell you about the trial, but I think what he is doing is a complete waste." Brian said. "Sometimes Stewie comes up with the most stupidest things."
"How does toilet water taste?" Phil asked excitedly.
"I-I beg your pardon?" Brian asked raising his eyebrow.
Lil covered his mouth as Juniper nervously laughed.
"Um...never mind," Juniper said nervously. "Listen, can you tell me how we can get your size?"
"Why not try the Coca-Cola bottle over there?" Brian said.
Juniper noticed a small round table to the left of the small building with a white chair. On the table were three cans of drinks. She observed them closely and noticed the one on the left was the infamous Coco-Cola brand. In the middle was a purple colored can with a picture of a batch of grapes on it. It was called a "Grape Juice" The one on the far right was a strange can colored in silver. The words labeled on it looked like someone drew the letters on with a marker. That can said "Jesus Juice" on it. Juniper quirked an eyebrow at seeing that, but didn't bother. She slowly picked up the Coca-Cola can, observing it.
"Hey, what if it's poisonous?" Lil asked in realization.
"How could it be?" Juniper replied. "No one expected our arrival, so it couldn't bother to try, right?"
"I guess so." Lil said shrugging her shoulders.
Juniper slowly tilted her head back as she put the hole of the can up to her mouth. The soda slowly slid down onto her tongue, not enjoying any minute of the horrific taste. She swallowed it and placed the can back on the ground, sticking her tongue out in disgust.
"Yuck!" she said in disgust. "What do they put in this stuff?"
A group of people was seen in a conference room, coming up with an idea for a new product.
"Okay, okay, so how about pickle soda, where we take a pickle and make it into a soda." one guy suggested.
"Too disgusting," another one replied. "We need something more original."
"I got it," said one man in the back. "We take oil, mix it with sawdust, plastic paper, and ten thousand copies of Martha Steward's cooking videos we can create the ultimate soda." He then thought about if for a minute. "We'll call it...Coca-Cola."
"Yeah, I like that," said another person agreed.
"All in favor say aye."
"Aye!" everyone in the room shouted.
Back to Juniper, she looked around to notice nothing had happened. She sighed, realizing that dog must have tricked her.
"It didn't work," she groaned. "That was a complete waste of timeeeeeeee..."
She felt a force of gravity pulling her down. She saw the room get smaller and smaller right before her eyes. She noticed the twins were getting bigger and bigger. Soon, she stopped moving and stumbled onto the ground. She shook her head and sat back up. Her mouth widened to see she had in fact shrunk. The twins approached their friend with dropped mouths.
"Whoa!" said Phil in amazement. "I always knew there was something strange about a coke."
"I've shrunk!" cried a tiny Juniper. She then looked up at the two. "Hey, we can enter the trial now! Come on down here you two!"
The twins, unfortunately, had no clue what Juniper was saying to them, due to the fact that was very small and had a little voice that sounded like a chipmunk from where they're standing. They slightly titled their heads in confusion from what she was saying. Juniper cupped her hands together, shouting at the top of her lungs.
"Can you hear me now?" Juniper shouted again.
The twins finally heard her that time and nodded. They all of a sudden noticed a man randomly appeared next to them. He had black glasses on and was holding a cell phone in his hand.
"Good." the man said into the phone.
The man walked off, leaving the twins even more confused.
"Where did... never mind." Lil said, shaking her head.
"Man, this world gets more confusing by the minute," commented Phil. He then turned back to Juniper, cupping his hands and shouting, "What did you want to tell us, June?"
Because he was much bigger, his voice was ear shattering to Juniper. She quickly covered her ears while also getting wind in her face from the impact. She went spinning across the area and hit the bottom part of the chair's leg.
"Phil!" Lil snapped. "YOU don't need to shout because we're already big, but since she is small we can't hear her."
Phil sheepishly rubbed his head, "Whoops. My bad."
June brushed herself off and called to them again, "I said come down here so we can get to that trial!"
The twins nodded to each other and took a drink of the coke, though they weren't sure how the coke was making them shrink. Soon enough, the coke did its work, causing the other two to also shrink down to Juniper's size. They were amazed at how small they've become. Everything looks like skyscrapers to them. They made their way over to the trial, still on the look out for the heartless.
As they arrived, they notice Brian wasn't acting like himself. In fact, he was staggering a little bit. He was losing his balance and was about to fall over. Lil luckily caught him in her arms.
"Ah...th...thank you...kid..." he said with a slurred voice. "H...how are you doing today? Did I ever tell you that you're hot?"
"W-what?" Lil asked in shock.
Phil started laughing, "Ha! Ha! The only thing that finds you attracting Lillian is a dog!"
"Shut up, Philip!" Lil responded with a snap. He then got Brian off her. "Why is he acting so weird now?"
"Hm, here's the answer," Juniper said, holding up the bottle he was drinking out of. "There was liquor in here and he must have had a bit too much."
"Wow, y-you're really smart," Brain said. "I-I'm looking f-for someone to star in my next big movie. Take off your c..."
"How rude!" Lil snapped, realizing what he was about to say.
"What?" Brian said drunkenly. "All I was going to say was take off your coat."
"She's not wearing a coat," Juniper pointed out.
"Oh, then that's make it easier." Brian said.
All of a sudden he fell, face first on the floor. The kids looked at each other with baffled looks. Here they were, the size of tennis balls, looking down at a dog that had a bit too much to drink. While he was out cold, they knew this would be the time to enter the small house in front of them. They headed inside the door, deciding to deal with Brian later.
Upon arrival, the kids noticed they were in what appeared to be a real life courtroom. They saw that the seats were filled up by various town folk. To the left of the area was a group of people seated. A sign above them said security on it. They all seemed to be lead by a girl who wore a pink shirt with a white shirt underneath, an oval shaped pink cap, round glasses, blue jeans, and white shoes.
To the right they noticed stairs wrapping around a brown podium that went up very high. They then noticed the fat kid they've been chasing run up the stairs. Juniper noticed in the middle of the court a woman older than her was at a small brown square with only three sides. She had long orange hair, wore a lime green colored, tan pants, red high heel shoes, and had blue earrings.
The fat young man known as Chris Griffin reached the top of the stairs and pulled out a trumpet. He played a fanfare melody on it and put it away. The trio murmured to each other, wondering what was happening.
"Court is now in session," announced Chris. "Now presiding, my little brother, Stewie Griffin."
The trio gasped upon who they saw taking the seat of the judge's seat. It was a baby, not so more than one. He wore a yellow shirt under red overalls, and had a football shaped head.
"A baby?" the twins exclaimed.
"Okay, this world has gone from weird to weirder." said Juniper.
Stewie looked down at the woman with a sign of hatred, "This vile mother of mine is undoubtedly the culprit. And why is she the culprit? Because I, Stewart Gilligan Griffin says so, that's why. You're a wretched woman. I always knew you were a problem ever since the day I was born."
Stewie remembers himself in a room with all the others babies. He was already looking around at this strange new world he's encountered. He then noticed his mother, Lois Griffin walking up to the glass window, admiring her new son. Stewie noticed the woman and already had a sign of hatred.
"Who the devil is that woman?" Stewie said to himself. "Something about her is just so repulsive, I can't even look." He then chuckled. "Boy do I feel sorry for the dimwit who has her as a mother." He then noticed Lois blowing a kiss at him. He realized that was his mother. "Oh god! This woman can't be my mother! She does not deserve to be alive and I will see to it that she dies now!"
Rolling his blanket around his waist, Stewie jumped out of his bed and ran over to a cabinet. Opening it, he pulled out a sharp knife and grinned evilly. He quickly jumped onto the counter and ran across the top, so he could reach the doorknob. On the way he grabbed a very long piece of string. He then reached for the doorknob at the end of the hall and opened it. As he opens it, he noticed a small metal pipe that was on the ceiling.
Coincidently, the pipe lead straight down towards were Lois was walking away. Stewie took the string and like a lasso threw it over the pipe. He then took the two edges of the string with one of his hands and grabbed them tightly. Kicking his heel forward, he flew across the hallway because of the strings. He pointed his knife towards Lois, a grin cracked upon his face.
"Yes!" he manically laughed. "Victory is mine!"
Lois looked down to notice a penny on the floor. Knowing that it would be lucky, she bent down to pick it up just in time as Stewie flew right by her.
"Ahh! God Damn!" Stewie cried as he flew by Lois.
Stewie flew off the pipe and went flying through the swinging doors, which a doctor opened. He then went flying through an open window, falling down ten floors. Below was a stretcher carrying a blonde haired woman who was about six hundred pounds. Stewie luckily landed on the man, but ended up getting lost inside the fat.
"Help! Help!" Stewie shouted. "I'm stuck inside this fat woman! Get me out you ingrates!"
Another doctor walked up to the fat woman with a chart in his hand.
"Ah, Sally Struthers, you're here for your Liposuction surgery."
"LIPOSUCTION!" screamed Stewie. "OH DEAR GOD!"
Stewie shuddered at remembering what happen next. Putting the past behind him, he turned back to Lois.
"Well, Lois, do you have anything to say to counter my reasoning?" Stewie asked his mother.
Strangely, it seemed that Lois didn't understand what Stewie was saying.
"Somebody is being a Mr. Naughty pants," Lois said playfully. "You know that mommy wouldn't take your Oreo."
"OREO!" screamed Stewie. "Damn it, woman! That's not what I was trying to inquire!"
"Come on, Stewie," she cooed. "Sing the elephant song for everyone."
"Mom, you're embarrassing me in front of the entire court!" said the girl with the pink cap known as Meg Griffin.
"Ha!" Chris laughed at his sister. "Your mom is more embarrassing than my mom."
Meg rolled her eyes, "We have the same mom, fat ass!"
"Liar!" Chris snapped stupidly.
"Silence!" Stewie shouted, calming everyone down. He then turned back to Lois. "Now then, you defy me mother? No one defies me and lives to tell about it!"
Meanwhile, Phil turned to his sister a bit perplexed.
"I don't get," Phil said, scratching his head. "Can they understand what that insane baby is saying?"
"Well, we can understand perfectly what he's saying and the mom can't seem to," Lil pointed out. "And I bet everybody else is understanding what's going on." She put her hands on her head, groaning. "Ah, I'm so confused!"
Juniper felt sorry for the mother and didn't want her to get hurt. She turned to the others with a heroic look in her eyes.
"We can't just stand here and watch this!" Juniper said heroically. "We should help her!"
"We can't do that, June." Lil objected.
"W-why not?" Juniper asked in surprise.
"We're outsides," Phil said. "We'd be 'muddling' if tried to intervene."
"That's meddling, Phillip." corrected Lil.
Phil rubbed his head, "Whatever! Sorry." he sighed. "It's against the rules, June."
June sighed, feeling like a helpless rat at the moment. She could sense this baby was planning to kill her, and Juniper who has saved lives hundreds of times from defeating mythical creatures was not going let another person get hurt.
"Now then mother," Stewie said with a wicked grin. "I'm going to find you guilty because I don't happen to like you, and you dare try to steal my heart."
Juniper gasped upon hearing what he just said. She knew right away that Lois wasn't the culprit at all, but she, along with the twins in fact knew whom the real culprit.
"As the first lady of the Helen Hayes, once said, I'm going to kill you," Stewie announced. She then turned to the people behind Meg. "Take her away to my torture chamber!"
Lois gasped as she finally realized what Stewie was saying. Her own son, who she took care of, was planning on killing her.
"Oh, my god!" she exclaimed. "My baby is really a demented psychopath bent on global conquest."
"And you just figured this out now?" Stewie said sarcastically.
Joe and Cleveland who came down from the crowd walked over to get her.
"Joe! Cleveland!" she cried. "What are you doing?"
"Sorry, Lois," Joe sighed sadly. "I can't disobey the law no matter how ridiculous this trial is."
The two men were about to grab her when Juniper ran up to them.
"Stop!" Juniper cried.
Lil watched as she ran but wondered, "What in the world does June think she's doing?"
The twins ran over to join Juniper and they startled the two men, making them back off. Stewie looked at the preteen with an angered look.
"How dare you interrupt my trial?" Stewie said angrily at them. "You just can't come barging in here." He then muttered to himself. "That dog always has to mess things up. Especially that one time he added the subliminal message to the Lion King when he was an animator."
Stewie remembers himself sitting next to Brian, who was working on a scene for the Lion King where Simba was laying down at night and stars were forming together in the sky.
"Hey, Stewie, watch what I'm going to do for this scene." Brian said with a compressed giggle.
He began painting each frame of the stars on in a certain pattern. Stewie all of sudden started laughing upon what he saw the end result was of each frame.
"Oh, my god, that's hilarious!" Stewie laughed. "I say no one would ever figure that out."
A mother and her four-year-old son were watching the finished production of the Lion King on T.V. The son all of a sudden noticed something strange about the stars.
"Hey, mommy," the son called the mother. "Those stars are spelling words."
"What kind of words?" the mother asked.
"It says S-E..."
Stewie furiously throws a fit at them, "Who the hell do you three think you are just coming in here?"
"Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the crib," Lil said raising her eyebrow.
"Look, kid," Juniper said. "Why would you want to kill your own mother in the first place?"
"Because it is destiny, my dear," Stewie responded. "It not that I want to kill her, it's just that I don't want her alive."
"Okay," Juniper said slowly with confusion. She then made a confident look. "Anyways, secondly, she's not the one you're looking for. We know who the real culprits are."
"Yeah!" Phil said excitedly. "It's the heart..."
Phil quickly covered his mouth so he didn't give it away. Stewie looked suspiciously at the twins, wondering why they were trying to cover up the real perpetrator. Juniper turned back to Stewie, trying to persuade him to let Lois go.
"Well, she's just not the one you're after so, cased closed, good-bye, court dismissed..."
"Silence!" Stewie interrupted with a snap. "Well, do you have any proof to back up your claim?"
Juniper blushed bright red, feeling pretty stupid right now. Without evidence she couldn't help Lois at all, which means she couldn't free her from the clutches of the evil baby genius.
"We are so busted!" Lil whispered to her bro.
"And I thought the keyblade master was supposed to be smart," Phil whispered back.
"Well...not really."
"Aha!" Stewie said. "I knew it! Now, all three of you can join in the punishment for simply disturbing my trial! And I know just the person to take care of it."
Stewie snapped his finger and a man wearing a black cloak and hood appeared in front of the trio. He started manically laughing at the kids who backed up nervously.
"I, the all mighty Death have been summoned to punish you three for all eternity," he bellowed. "It will be filled with endless torment, long hard hours, and reruns of the Golden Girls."
"R-really?" Lil asked nervously.
Death then talked in a normal voice and started laughing, "Ha! Ha! Just playing with you." The kids sighed. "But still, you're getting a year's worth punishment."
"Hey, that isn't so bad, right?" Phil said. He noticed the two girls giving him a dirty look. "Compare that to being punished for an eternity, girls!" he said annoyed.
"So, you two lovely ladies will be taking your punishment together," Death told Juniper and Lil. "You get to spend a whole year with this guy."
The two girls turned to notice an extremely skinny man wearing a red shirt, blue jeans, and a brown shoes standing before them. He had a very big head that disgusted the two. He was Glen Quagmire. He gave a sign of attraction at the two girls.
"Alll riiiight," Quagmire said in a seductive way. "Say ladies, I just picked door number three, two for you and one for me." He then shouted. "OH!"
The girls looked at the man in disgust, as they knew what this sick weirdo was planning.
"Hey, we're only eleven for crying out loud!" Lil panicked.
"But together you two are over twenty one, and I'm getting double the fun," he snickered with glee. He then jerked his head back and forth. "Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy, goo!"
Phil just pointed at the two girls and laughed. Death then turned his attention to the boy.
"Oh, don't think I forgot about you, Sparky," Death laughed. "You too have a little playmate for an entire year."
Phil noticed a very old man wearing a light blue bathrobe and was supported by a walker walking up to him. Phil felt his spine shiver from seeing the sight of the old man right in front of him.
"Well, hey there muscle armed fella," he said with a high-pitched and seduced voice. "How about we go back to my house and play a little checkers. Just you and me, all alone."
Phil screamed at the top of his lungs and ran behind Juniper, "Stay away from me you sick freak," The two girls gave him a "Serves you right" look and he angrily bonked their heads together against each others, "Don't give me that look. We don't deserve this."
"Now, take them..." Stewie began. All of a sudden he stopped and looked down at something. Everyone else wondered what was going on. "What's that Rupert? You want to what?" He then acted like he was listing to something. He pulled something up which was a giant orange teddy bear. "Well, alright, Rupert, but for your sake only."
Everyone murmured as to what just happened. The kids were confused as they saw him talk to a teddy bear.
"I've decided to have a little change of heart thanks to a friend of mine," Stewie announced. He then looked down at the kids. "This is a chance for you three to clear everything up. I'm giving you exactly one hour to bring me evidence to prove Lois is innocent. Fail to do so and I shall be sending you on a honeymoon with your perfect year dates."
"One hour?" Phil whined. "What a rip!"
"You better take it, Phil," Juniper whispered. "Or else you'll be spending a year in a romantic hotel with your date over there."
Phil gave a nervous glare at the old man, his heart pounding rapidly from just even looking at him. He turned back to the girls giving a sick look on his face.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Phil said. "Let's go find some evidence!"
"Very well," Stewie obliged. "One hour and lock the prisoner up!"
"Let's get going, guys." Juniper said.
The three began to make their leave when Lois called out to them.
"Kids!" she called. "Find my husband, Peter! He's at the Drunken Clam! He should be able to help!"
"Right, thanks Mrs. G!" Phil smiled with appreciation.
The kids left the area in a hurry as they only had an hour left. Joe and Cleveland took Lois away who was at a lost for words about one of her own children doing this to her. Stewie stood on the desk and looked around the area.
"Court dismissed!" he said. "Now it's time for a sexy party."
Stewie jumped off the desk and landed on the ground, removing his clothes to reveal a new set of cloths including a fancy blue, buttoned up shirt and wore a skipper's cap. Ladies wearing bras and underwear came in and Stewie playfully chased them around the room.
To be continued
Word from Key18: I'll get to the next part right away. Leave you're comments and thoughts on the chapter and do not flame this chapter, but a simple helping responds. I am very sorry for the long wait.