Super Special Blabber:

This story has been re-edited as of August 2011 due to the horrendous grammar, spelling mistakes, and tense confusion that I realized it had upon re-reading it years later. *Facepalm*

Disclaimer: Own nothing. But Kouga would kill me for what I'm putting him through in this.

Thoughts

"Speaking"

10 Ways to Get the Girl

By: Metalmark

Kouga sits by the waterfall and gazes off at his wolf followers. He smells Kagome's scent then; it is a soft scent that smells like that of flowers, fresh and lovely - her own distinct smell. He grins and stands up, ready to go meet her, but there is one thing that bothers him - no matter how hard, and he means hard, he tries to win her over, she never notices his attempts. In all honesty, he likes that about Kagome though; she is tough and isn't afraid to speak her mind. She isn't like any other woman he's ever come across. It is for that reason he has to claim her as his own.

Now how to get her to see that they are perfect for each other?

Maybe I should try a different approach?

Yes, that's it! A different approach - or approaches should work perfectly. Get her to notice you, the competitor, are trying to get her attention - the bachelorette.

Now here's where things get drastic!

Kouga grins deviously and runs off to meet his 'future mate' Kagome - would be future mate if his attempts actually work.

Here goes nothing. Give it your all Kouga!

Method One: Poetry. Girls love a guy who can show his sensitive side.

Kagome looks up to see Kouga approaching her and suddenly she looks considerably uncomfortable. He is known to be over-the-top with his antics and speech after all. Kouga drops down in front of her, giving a cocky grin that does nothing to appease her; if anything makes me worry more what he's up to.

"Kouga-kun."

"Kagome…I wrote something for you."

Kagome blinks and asks, "What is it?"

She's curious. That's it Kouga! Reel her in!

Koga clears his throat and speaks the poem a friend told him.

"Relationships are like baseball. First there's first base, in which every man first goes through as boring as it is, then second base which gets more interesting…and then finally third base in which the man runs the hell away after he gets there."

Kagome's eye twitches angrily realizing the sexual underlying meanings in the sayings and, in a split second, Kouga is unconscious on the ground with a big bump on his head and a red slap mark on his cheek. It is safe to say she is not amused one bit.

Note: Don't use advice/poems from a perverted monk. Cough - Miroku - cough.

Method Two: Buy her gifts.

Kouga appears once again, pride scarred but not discouraged.

Kagome notices Kouga again and gives a weird look as she sees him with a magazine in his hand. Where is he going with this? If it was anything like last time, he is going to get hurt. Badly. Very, very badly.

"Kouga-kun?"

Kouga gives her a serious look as he held out the magazine to her.

"It's for you. Something to show you how I think about you."

Kagome is taken off guard and gives him a sweet smile taking the magazine. This didn't seem suspicious enough and oddly sweet.

"Where did you get this from?" She asks, not yet glancing down at it.

"A friend gave it to me saying it was a perfect gift," Kouga answers.

Kagome opens the magazine and immediately her face turns red. She looks up pissed and embarrassed; more pissed than anything.

"Kouga-kun…this is a girly magazine…pervert!" Kagome throws the magazine in Kouga's face and storms off.

Note: Porno is not a way to a girl's heart. Kouga, stay the hell away from Miroku, already.

Method Three: Get rid of the rival.

Koga dashes to where InuYasha is training. InuYasha grunts in reply and holds his sword warningly at Koga. He is not a happy camper at the moment.

"What do you want you damn wolf?" InuYasha asks curtly. He doesn't have time for another pointless banter with the stupid wolf. Not to mention he isn't exactly in the best mood (then again when was he?).

"Kagome is mine!" Kouga exclaims and charges in on InuYasha.

There is a loud explosion, and a few seconds later InuYasha puts his Tessaiga away giving a sneer.

"Stupid wolf."

Note: This method is no good if the opponent has a super strong weapon called the Tessaiga.

Method Four: Flowers will win her over.

Kagome is sitting on the ground when Kouga approaches her. She looks up wary at him, and he flashes her a smile. Once again, she is suspicious of him immediately.

"Kouga-kun, what is it now?"

Uh-oh, she sounds pisses. Don't mess this up Kouga!

"Here Kagome, these flowers are for you." Kouga holds out the flowers to Kagome.

Kagome blinks, obviously surprised, and takes them, giving a smile. Her cheeks color the slightest. "Thank you."

Her expression then fades as she drops the flowers.

"Kouga-kun, these are poison ivies!"

Kouga runs off quickly then (abandon mission!) as Kagome begins to commence the game of scratch-and-itch-yourself.

Note: When getting flowers make sure they are actually flowers!

Method Five: Sweep her off her feet.

Kagome is picking up her things as Kouga dashes in and shocks her.

"Kouga-kun!"

She is shocked - good, keep it up.

"Kagome, I'm going to sweep you off your feet," Kouga states, his face determined.

"Wha?" Kagome blinks giving a clueless look.

Kouga grabs Kagome in his arms and dashes off in a rush. Kagome screams as they jump down a hill fast. She kicks and struggles, and Kouga tries to hold her despite her struggling.

He fails.

She falls.

"Kyaaaahhh!"

Kouga decides to run before Kagome gets up from rolling down the long, long, long drop down the hill. Time to rethink your attempts.

Note: Sweeping a girl off her feet does not mean to actually do what it states. It is a figure of speech. Nor does it mean to drop you future mate.

Method Six: Appear to be tall, dark and mysterious.

Kagome is fuming as she stands against the tree. She is not a happy camper. Kouga appears with pogo sticks tied to his feet (to make him look 'taller'), a dark cloak around him (to appear 'dark') and markings all over his body (to appear 'mysterious').

"Kouga-kun?" Kagome gives a weird look, still angry, of course. She has been dropped, poisoned by poison ivy, given a porno magazine, and told a ridiculous sex joke. Who wouldn't be angry after all that?

"Kagome…you mean the world to me. So I have to say that -" Kouga stops and then suddenly drops to the floor as his pogo sticks break underneath him.

The cloak falls off revealing a very naked wolf prince.

"Kyaaaaaah!"

Note: Appearing tall, dark and mysterious does not include being on pogo sticks nor markings nor wearing a dark cloak and nothing beneath.

Method Seven: Sing to her. That will capture her heart.

"Kagome!"

Kagome looks up and her cheeks are still red from a while ago. She has seen more than she has ever wanted to. Must. Not. Think. Bad. Thoughts.

"Yes?" She asks, her voice high-pitched and almost squeaky.

"I want to sing to you," Kouga answers.

Kagome gives a confused look but nods and listens closely.

"Ahro roo wolf wolf arooooooo!"

Kagome blinks, and Kouga gives a grin, showing his pearly fangs.

Hours later the two are still at the same spot, neither speaking nor moving.

"What was that Kouga-kun?" Kagome breaks the silence, finally.

Note: Singing wolf language to a human girl does not win her heart if she can't understand you.

Method Seven: Hide a surprise in her deserts.

Kouga places something inside Kagome's cupcake and he hides when she appears. He watches from the tree nearby as Kagome pulls out the cupcake licking her lips.

"Yum!" Kagome comments biting into the cupcake.

She munches happily with her eyes closed. Meanwhile, Kouga watches anxiously, awaiting his approach effect.

Kagome then opens her eyes and she starts to wave her hands around vigorously. Her face turns red as she starts to choke. Kouga's eyes widen, watching Kagome rush to drink some water and swallow.

He sweat drops. Ah, failure.

Hey, that was my mother's ring…

Note: This method does not work if the girl swallows the ring, and you shouldn't place valuable items hidden at such risk.

Method Eight: Compliment her. This is a sure way to flatter her.

Kagome is sitting by the river drinking some water, still surprised from almost chocking. She didn't even know what she had almost chocked on, sadly.

Kouga walks towards her and sits by her. She looks up at him afterwards, awaiting, all the while trying to look patient.

"Kagome, you look very beautiful today."

Kagome blushes stammering, "Really?"

"Of course, why else would I be around you during mating season?"

There is a loud slapping sound heard echoing throughout the woods.

Note: You should just stop at the compliment and not reveal your real motives.

Method Nine: Already? Oh….express your feelings for her.

"Kagome?" Kouga asks.

"Yeah?"

"You are my woman."

Kagome's expression darkens and she yells, "I'm not a possession!"

Smack!

She storms off angry then. Oooh. That's going to leave a mark.

Note: When expressing your feelings, you should not make assumptions and orders. Women don't like being possessions either and will get angry and attack.

Method Ten: God, forget it! Just do whatever you always do Kouga! Grasp the moment or whatever the hell you do. Just don't screw this last chance up!

Kagome is training. Kouga walks towards her, giving a determined look.

"Kagome."

"Yes, Kouga-kun?" She asks exasperated.

"…."

Kagome blinks, asking once again, "Yes?"

"Sorry, I don't know how to say this, but I am proud to be your mate."

"I'm not your mate or woman!"

Kouga grins cockily and grabs Kagome, hugging her. She turns extremely red in response, taken off guard.

"Either way I love you, and I won't let mutt face get you."

"Kouga….kun?" Kagome blushes surprised by his upfront declaration.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For all the things you did. I know you meant well and it…means a lot to me." Kagome gives him a tender expression, her warm chocolate brown eyes sincere.

Kouga gives a proud grin, showing his fangs and that all-so-knowable, cocky smirk of his.

"For you - anytime, anyplace, anywhere."

Kagome's face turns red as she stammers, "T-thanks."

Without another word, Kouga dashes off in a wind tornado as usua,l giving her a wink and smile. Kagome waves to him goodbye and she is then left by herself.

"I…love you too, Kouga-kun," Kagome mutters to herself.

Meanwhile, Kouga is hiding in the nearby bushes nearly jumping for joy.

Note: When you make a flashy depart you should actually depart. Oh what the hell, at least you got the girl. Way to go Kouga!

-End.-