I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

Disclaimer: Their real owners made them related. I made them incestuous.

Rating: R

Summary: Consequences abound following the fallout from "Be Careful What You Wish For ." This is fifth in the series. It should be read thusly: "Sometimes I Forget," "Familiar Pain," "Wishful Thinking," and "Be Careful What You Wish For." All are available on Fan and should probably be read first, especially "Be Careful..."

Warning: This is Adam/Adora-hence the rating. If that squicks you, run away.

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What have I done?

I've never wanted someone as much as I want Adora. But she's my sister - my twin. Every unspoken want, every painful desire, I've been able to keep buried deep within.

At least until now. My memory is fuzzy but my other senses are not. The air is thick with the smell of sex, my groin is still wet from the act itself and my muscles ache in just the right areas to confirm my suspicions. So too do the naked bodies of myself and She-Ra.

Adora.

My sister is still draped across my chest and half of me wants nothing more than to remain where we are. I want to indulge the moment to enjoy her soft curves pressed against mine. Another part wants to roll her back on top of me and renew our activities.

But, Ancients, what's wrong with me? Perhaps my father is right. Perhaps a lazy layabout and a scoundrel is all I'll ever be. There's no other excuse for allowing this to happen. I don't want to think about my parents right now. What they would say. . . the disappointment on my father's face when he sees yet another way I've disgraced our line. Or worse, I can see the pain on my mother's face when she sees. . . I can't imagine the look on the Sorceress' face.

No. Ancients, I'm sorry. So very, very sorry for being so fucking weak.

"She-Ra, wake up." I nudge her gently and try very hard not to notice when she rolls back and exposes the full length of her beauty.

"A-Adam?" Her voice remains steady but her blue eyes. . . the ones that are identical to mine. . . are full of terror, guilt, and questions I don't have the answers to. So I respond with the ones I do.

"We're in one of the bedchambers in Castle Greyskull. We should probably go upstairs into the main chamber. The Sorceress will be there."

"How-?"

"I don't know. Maybe the Sorceress does."

I can't bear to imagine the look on the Sorceress' face when she discovered what we had done.

"The Sword of Power must be yielded by someone with immense strength, both of will and character."

"Those twins were you, Adam, and you, Adora."

I can't even begin to imagine how disappointed she must be. I'm so very, very sorry.

As a reminder of our transgression, our swords sit near the entry way to the room. I hold mine aloft and command the Power to Return. It's a necessary step both because the sword restores my cotes and because I just don't feel like being He-Man right now.

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The story the Sorceress has told us is incredible and almost impossible to believe. But I will believe it, if only because it gave my brother - my dear brother - and I an excuse for breaking down and giving into what we both wanted so much.

It seems excessively cruel that I can't actually remember much of it.

But even though it's not our fault, Adam still won't talk or look at me. I wish he would. Adam's the only person I know who looks at me and sees me - not Former Force Captain Stolen by the Horde to Do Their Bidding Adora. I don't want to lose that. I can't lose that.

Maybe it's understandable that Adam is being so quiet. Walking up next to the realization that everything we've wanted for the past year hd come true has to be somewhat . . . unsettling for him. It's disturbing for me, but I woke up one morning to an instant family, so the shock is not as much as it probably is for him.

Still, I wish he would look at me.

"The members of the Great Rebellion were able to get you before the extraction could take place. Once you were clear of the Fright Zone's Cloak, I was able to sense your . . . distress and I teleported you here." The Sorceress shares a look with Man-At-Arms and I am so busy trying to decipher it that I nearly miss the word "extraction" and all it's possible connotations. Nearly. . . but not quite.

"What do you mean by 'extraction?'" I ask, because one of us has to ask, and Adam still isn't saying anything.

Man-At-Arms and the Sorceress exchange another look, and I try very hard not to lose my temper. She takes her sweet time replying, but when she does, I understand her hesitation.

"As I said before, you were both under a fertility spell. Shadow Weaver's magic is quite powerful. . And the conception was successful."

The conception.

I'm . .. pregnant.

"Hordack had intended for another Etherian to carry the child to term, but you were rescued before the transplant could take place."

The child.

I'm pregnant.

Adam - my brother -is the baby's father. The Horde was a very scientifically advanced empire and I know that the offspring of twins have a lot going against them genetically.

" The baby - is it healthy?" I manage to ask.

"Yes, Adora," The Sorceress answers without hesitation this time. "Your son is very healthy."

My son. I'm having a son.

The news seems to snap Adam out of whatever trance he's in. "I have a son," he murmurs. His hand reaches over and rests lightly on my stomach.

"Actually, no," Man-At-Arms speaks up for the first time. "Prince Adam has a nephew."

"I have a son," Adam argues, as though the mere words will change fact or circumstance.

I can see they're about to argue with my brother further, and my dear twin can't handle any more at this point. "Adam," I interrupt, as gently as possible, "We have a son, but in the eyes of both our worlds, you'll have a nephew."

His shoulders sag in defeat, but his hand tightens around my still flat stomach. I spare a thought to wonder how long it will be until my son's growth stretches the skin and how long it will be until I can feel her move. " A nephew," he agrees, though his head still shakes negatively. " A child I can never claim, and who can never call me 'Father.'"

The Sorceress rises. "If you'll excuse me, I must go prepare the disremembrance spell."

I watch her go, and vaguely hear Man-At-Arms telling us why a disremembrance spell is necessary. Apparently, Shadow Weaver's spell made us less careful than we otherwise would have been and our identities were compromised.

"My son," Adam is still muttering beside me. "Adora, how. . . how am I going to watch you. . and oh, Ancients, another man raise my son?"

"There won't be another man," I assure him. At his place by the Sorceress' empty throne I hear Man-At-Arms clear his throat.

"There has to be," Adam corrects softly. "You're a princess. The daughter of a King and Queen,the . . . sister of a prince. They don't have babies outside of a proper marriage And. . . I can't marry you. I can't. . . be my son's father."

I try to imagine another man raising our child. I try to imagine Sea Hawk raising our son. I think of his loyalty and honor and almost believe that he'd be a good match. But then I remember his rough impatience and I can't imagine him as the father to our child - our precious, never should have been conceived miracle. I can't imagine forcing Adam to watch as someone so ill-equipped raises his son.

"Our father will just have to be disappointed." In anger, I snap before I think and the ramifications of my recklessness are displayed all over my brother's face.

"He already is. . . so very much."

"Not in you," I clarify. "In me."

"In us both," he argues. His hand clutches my stomach even tighter than before. "Our son can't even be the heir to the throne. It's his birthright. But my nephew can't be King."

I've never seen Adam so very close to sobbing. I reach for him, and he pulls away. He stands and hobbles over to the wall furthest away from me. Those normally strong shoulders sag against the Castle walls and Man-At-Arms takes a place at his side to provide the comfort I'm not allowed to give.

The look on Adam's face reminds me of a conversation we had once. . . thought I can't quite place when it was.

"He-man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"But you do. Every time I see you, it hurts."

I've caused Adam more hurt than I ever intended to - and the birth of our child will only cause him more. Not to mention all the hurt I'm going to cause my parents when they realize that I can't hurt my brother by making him watch another man raise his child. And so help me, I can just imagine the Great Rebellions' hurt when they know their champion She-Ra can't ever return to them. So much hurt and all I want to do is take it all away.

I cast one more glance at Adam before I realize that it's exactly what I must do. I memorize the pained expression on his face before I go to find the Sorceress. I'm certain I will need to remember that look well in the years to justify the decision I have made.

So many lives were better before I was in them. They deserve to have those lives back.

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To Be Concluded in "The Wish I Wish Tonight."