Pillow Talk

by Lady Pyrefly

Author's Note: Written for the "secrets" challange on office fanworks (a livejournal community).

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Sometimes Pam pretends her pillow is Jim. When it's night, and Roy's gone out with The Boys yet again. She pulls it down next to her and wraps and arm around it. She tells it that she really does think he's quite cute, and that she really loves his hair, and his eyes, and just very nearly everything about him. Pam tells Jim-the-pillow about how she isn't really in love with Roy anymore. About how the reason she's still engaged with him is because he's safe. Pam is still with Roy because being with him is just barely better than being alone.

And in her mind Jim smiles his gorgeous smile and holds her tight and tells her that it's okay, because he loves her anyway.

Pam knows that only the last one is true. Michael took care of that, quite nicely she might add. So Jim definitely did have a crush on her. That was pretty okay. More than okay, actually. Pretty nice. She wonders briefly if maybe she should tell him that she used to have a crush on him too. The thought presents itself in a million different scenarios of what could happen if she did. The best of them end up with a kiss.

Which brings a completely new thought. Would Jim be a good kisser? He had such nice lips it seemed probable. Pam turned a lovely shade of red, despite being in the dark, alone. She had a sudden impulse to kiss her pillow. Except for she didn't, because the sudden rush back to teenager-angst would slaughter off all remaining dignity Pam may have had.

It hits her suddenly that this is so fundamentally WRONG. She is lying here, supposedly happily engaged, and yet thinking of how a coworker might kiss. Maybe it's not technically cheating, but Pam feels as though it is.

Almost regretfully, Pam gives her pillow one last hug and pushes it back under her head.

- - -

When Roy returns home, nearly 1:00 in the morning, he climbs into bed next to Pam, who has yet to break that annoying habit of holding her pillow as she sleeps.