I could not believe my eyes. There, right in the front window of this meat market of a bar, was my partner, Faith Yokas, knocking 'em back. I was on my home from Ma's bar, and passed by this place pretty much every time - it was on my usual route. It was major pick-up joint for all the cougars on the prowl. And was the last place I would have ever expected to see her. She appeared to be having a pretty good time, the kind of good time that could lead to not-so-good times, if you know what I mean. The sort of not-so-good times that one might need one's partner to help one get out of. I decided to head in, to keep an eye on things and make sure she didn't need any back up. I took a seat at the bar, scoping out a location where I could keep an eye on her, without being seen.

I had been watching her down margaritas from across the bar for over an hour. So far, it looked like she was holding her own with the rest of the group she was there with, 4 or 5 other thirty-something women, clearly hell-bent on having a good time.

Unfortunately, in keeping a close eye on Faith, I had neglected to keep a equally close eye on the others ladies with her. I nearly fell off my bar stool when a tall, good-looking blonde, who I swear just moments before was doing shots with Faith at their table, tapped me on the shoulder. The slightly shorter, equally good looking blonde with her had also been part of Faith's group. She smiled at me as I attempted to regain my balance and my dignity. As I was working on failing at both, blonde #1 jerked her thumb over her shoulder, and at the same time, said;

"You're gong to have to get your butt over there, lover boy"

Okay, that isn't what I was expecting. I thought I was being busted for staring at their friend, at my partner. They had apparently noticed I had been gawking, but had given it a different meaning, thinking I was on the prowl myself. Okay, Boscorelli, play it cool...

"Excuse me?" Well, okay, kind of cool. Don't want to stun them with my prowess. The voice cracking part was just a nice added touch on my part.

"You're going to have to make the first move. We told her to come over and ask you to dance, but she won't. So it's up to you"

Blonde #2 giggled while trying to drink her margarita, light her cigarette and give me a bawdy wink, all at the same time. So far, she was 0 for 3.

"Sorry, don't know what you're talking about." Good one, Boscorelli. Still playing it low key, not wanting to overwhelm them with my coolness.

"Oh puuuuuleeeeze. Our friend over there? The one you haven't take your eyes off for the past hour? She ain't coming over, you're going to have to bite the bullet and take the first step"

If only she knew how literally right she could be – if I hit on Faith, the odds of getting my shot with the bullet I was trying to bite were pretty good.

"Come on, she's been watching you too. She's just a little more subtle"

Huh. It had apparently been too long since I had been scoping out the ladies. I really had thought I was being inconspicuous. My attempt at discreet observation, or apparently, just plain gawking, was a source of amusement, based on the drunken giggles surrounding me.

"So, she's been watching me too? You sure?" That bit of information made me forget about trying to be cool, actually made it a little hard to breathe.

"Oh yeah, we thought you must be someone she knew, but she said not. So you must be someone she wants to get to know, if you know what I mean." Blonde #1 leaned in closer and leered at me suggestively. At least I think that's what she was doing. She may have just lost her balance, or a contact, it was hard to tell as she did a near face-plant in the peanuts.

"It's kind of hard to tell with her, I've never seen her checking someone out before but she sure has had her eye on you, think she wants to her hands on other parts too" Giggle, giggle. "Her name is Faith, go ask her to dance. Between us, she could use some good looking stud paying her some attention – her ass of a husband sure has never bothered."

"Ex-husband, remember!" Blonde #1 had pulled herself up off the bar to indignantly and drunkenly correct her friend.

"Right, and thank the good Lord for that!"

"So you think she wants to get to know me, do you?" The gigglemint twins had made a good point about Fred being an ass - I'd thought that for years. But I was still stuck on Faith saying she didn't know me. Why would she say that? And she was checking me out too? Hmmm, this was an interesting development

"Okay, thanks for the, uh, suggestion, ladies. I'll give it some thought"

"Well don't think too long. You're not the only Romeo on the prowl here tonight, and Faith is looking for a good time."

They did the too-drunk two-step into the ladies bathroom, while I sat and tried to sort out the fact from fiction of the margarita-tinted conversation I'd just had. Faith is out looking for a good time! What the hell does that mean? This was quickly looking like there was a lot of potential for things to go really, really bad. If Faith was lookin' for love, I did NOT want to be a witness. But at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to leave her at the mercy of these drunken slobs, circling like sharks around her and her friends, all just looking for a quick snack...

I was still pondering my next move when one of the bombed blondes landed in my lap.

"You're still here! Come on - get your ass over there!"

"Don't be scared - it's a pretty nice ass – she'll like it, trust us." The blonde in my lap bent around me and checked me out.

"Let's see, stand up"

The blonde not in my lap (# 1 or #2 - I really couldn't tell them apart) yanked me to my feet, dislodging her friend to the floor, grabbing and lifting the back of my coat to get a closer look at the, um, asset in question. It apparently passed muster, as she gave it an approving little pat.

"Yep, it's a nice one. Hey, if it doesn't work out with Faith, don't consider the evening a loss. We're still, uh, well, we like to dance too."

"Although the way you two have been making eyes at each other, odds are good, something's going to work out." Big surprise - giggling ensued.

Making eyes? We hadn't been making eyes! What the hell does that mean, anyway. How the hell do "make eyes" at someone? I didn't have a lot of time to consider this further, as I suddenly found myself in a tangle of girl parts and perfume, being dragged across the floor of the bar.

"Faith? Faith! Hey, pay attention over here, someone wants to meet you!"

Faith turned in mid-gulp of her margarita, and almost choked. Her eyes widened at the sight of me, Bosco her old partner, grinning at her, the knight in shining armour her friends had decided was her best bet for the night.

"Faith this is…uh…"

"Maurice. Nicetomeetyou"

"Maurice?"

"Yeah, Maurice Boscorelli. I know, sort of a dorky name. What can I say? You can call me Moe, if that's better. So you're Faith, right?"

"Uhhhh..."

"Okay Faith, better slow down on the drinks. I think you've killed enough brain cells for one night! Introductions – Faith Yokas, Maurice Boscerelli – "

"Mitchell – it's Faith Mitchell now, 'member" The blondes were still at it, with blonde #1 trying to discreetly hiss in blonde #2's ear, and managing to broadcast it the surrounding 30 people at least.

Blonde #2 slapped herself in the forehead

"Oh geez, right – Mitchell Okay, Moe, Faith. Faith, Moe. Now put your drink down and dance with the nice man." Blonde #1 gave her a little push.

Now that I was closer, I could see she wasn't really drunk, had obviously been playing up how much she'd been drinking for the others, but she was unsteady enough on her feet to be thrown off balance by her friends shove and landed directly in my arms. I smiled down at her as she braced herself against my chest, attempting to regain her balance. "Hi Faith Mitchell. Nice to meet you."