Chapter Fünf: Go: Five

"Guys! Help! He's ate off my pants and underwear!" Roy screamed, "And now he's going to eat off my shirt!"

The room began to shake. Everyone looked up from what they were doing. Even Gluttony looked up from his meal of Roy trousers. A very loud thump- thump noise sounded.

Thump thump. The noise grew louder, and more frequent.

Thump thump THUMP THUMP THUMP. The noise grew so loud everyone covered his or her ears. The windows shattered.

THUMP THUMP THUMP! One of the warehouse's walls came crashing down. Fangirls, all of which wore triple plus sizes, came stampeding in (after all, they would not want to miss their chance to see a nude Roy). In doing so, they ran over Lust, Envy, and eventually, Gluttony. The corpulent fangirls crowded around the State Alchemists (except for Risa), snuggling against them and pressing their wet lips on their foreheads.

Roy tried to speak out in protest, but the loud smoooch noise of the fangirl's lips kept the other State Alchemists from noticing his complaints.

"I think smoooch I'll smooch rethink smooooch being smoooch heterosexual smoooooch."

The fangirls stopped kissing Roy, and squealed, "KAWAII!" Then, they continued their kissing cuddling, their love drive re-fueled after the Flame Alchemist's last remark.

"On second thought smooooch I smooch will smooch stay smooch hetero smooch."

AFTERMATH

Eventually, the missing alchemists were found by a Black Ops team of alchemists. The fangirls were massacred upon the team's arrival. Ed, due to his horrible memories of the pudgy fangirls (and the nude Roy), is going under intensive psychiatric treatment. He is currently on a daily 80 mg dose of Zoloft. Just before the Black Ops team's arrival, some fangirls gave their bodies to a human transmutation, in order to give Alphonse a body. Al likes his new body, and is aiding in his brother's mental rehabilitation. Risa is doing fine as well, and has taken up the position of Ed's psychiatrist. Roy was found dead at the warehouse, due to a massive nasal hemorrhage brought on by an erotic dance performed by the fangirls. He was buried at The State Alchemist's Cemetery. However, three days later, he rose out of his grave as a vampire, and is currently working for the Hellsing Organization under the name "Alucard." There he is engaged in a war against zombie fangirls.

THE END