Warning: This fic contains bad language. Realisticly, though, it's a Saiyuki fic: if you've read the manga or seen the anime, you've probably figured out what Sanzo's favorite word is by now. So, yes, there will be drinking, smoking, foul language, and assorted other bad behaviour, though I will do my darnedest to stay within the PG-13 range. It shouldn't be a problem, as long as Gojyo doesn't get out the door.
And none of it is mine. Kazuya Minekura owns them all.
Except the drunk. She's more mine than I'm willing to admit at this point in my therapy.
Other Warning: This fic is the sequel to When Chibis Attack!, which can be found from my profile, and is still in the process of being posted. Yes, I can do that. No, it won't spoil the un-posted parts of first one. However, you might want to read the first fic first, or this one will make as much sense as a glass hedgehog. Still, I've been told Attack! is too damn cute for words, so perhaps it'll do you some good.
Now, on with the show! Whoop-de-frickin'-do.
Chibis Gone Wild!
Chapter 1: Because I Can.
It's a beautiful afternoon in Togenkyo. A few wispy clouds are blown thin, and stretched over the pinkening horizon by the southern wind. The sun rides its golden chariot in their direction: ever westward, into the dusk. Even the lone string of geese cutting a wedge through the clear blue sky travel west by some accident of migration.
Neither Sanzo, nor any of his travelling companions note these forces ofnature urging them on towards their globally important goal.
That's because they're indoors. And, to an individually greater or lesser degree, they are drunk.
"More. Now."
"But sir, don't you think you've had enough?"
"Ah ha ha ha... don't worry, miss. You'll know when he's had enough. You see, his head will hit the table with an unmistakeable 'clunking' noise."
"Hakkai, shut the hell up. Just get me more beer, woman."
It is possible that the gods hadn't considered the effect on the religious inclinations of their followers when they installed Genjyo Sanzo as priest. As an example, the barmaid, once rather devout, is now considering atheism due to her brief encounter with Buddhism's emminent representative. This is not an unusual response.
Sanzo would have been proud to hear it. His Employers, on the other hand, may be a little perturbed(#).
That perturbation, at least, would explain the next rumbling from Sha Gojyo - valiently slumped in his chair, piling beer cans in a prophetic replica of yet-milleniums-future Tokyo Tower.
So spake Friar Sand:
"Hey, Sanzo. Remember that chick? Whatshername, you know. The girl.
In a testament to the sheer quantity of alcohol that Sanzo has consumed, he takes a minute to formulate a sufficiently witty reply.
"Unlike you, you perverted Kappa," he eventually declares, "I don't keep a catalogue of everything that looks female along the side of the road. So, no. I probably don't remember."
"No, no." Gojyo continues, unfazed by this carefully assembled rejoinder. "You'd remember her. She had a book you liked."
The brief, yet notable pause recurrs. Then:
"I can't recall anything female, in possession of reading material, of any kind, that I have enjoyed, since the last... oh... lifetime. I'm a monk, asswipe! If it's not a sutra or the paper, it's a waste of my time!"
Sanzo punctuates this statement with a definitive chug of his beer, followed by crushing the can on the table.
In terms of the Drunked Orator, that is Q.E.D..
Still, Gojyo persists in persisting. The doggedness of his train of thought has caught Hakkai's attention, and now he, too, is trying to remember a woman with a book - any book - that Gojyo might have found noteworthy.
Goku continues to eat. This hardly deserves recording, except to note that he is there, and he is alive. Hence, he is eating.
Gojyo-zilla knocks over part of Togenkyo Tower, and then begins to rebuild it. But his speech continues:
"No. You'd remember her. You loved that book. You know the one..."
Far to the west. a jar breaks. A powerful prince turns towards it, eyes widening in terror.
It fell off the shelf. He was nowhere near it.
He certainly wasn't trying to get at the contents.
He didn't try to take the cookies!
But back in Togenkyo, only Gojyo can be heard in the sudden silence.
"You know... the one with Kittens on it."
(#)Footnote: Then again, rabid atheism is also the most common reaction reported by devout believers upon meeting the Merciful Goddess her/himself, apparently due to his/her wandering hands. Perhaps this is all part of the Plan...
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Short chapters will be normal for this fic. I have to sleep at some time, you know.
I bet you all want to know where the chibis are.
Don't worry. They're coming. Slowly. Short little legs, you know.