So How Did I Meet Your Mom Again?

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis or any of its characters or story lines. No infringement is intended upon anyone or any subsidiary connected to Stargate: Atlantis or its parent series, Stargate: SG-1 or Stargate The Movie. I'm poor, you'll get nothing out of me!

Summary: When the team discovers McKay's future daughter living with their trading partners, the search is on for the mother because his daughter will have to be conceived in a year or cease to exist. No pressure, right?

Rating: PG for language.

Warnings: Possibly some adult situations or at least ideas.

Category: Friendship/Romance/Humor

Author note: Hey! This is an idea that's been bugging me for forever. I just wanted to write an OC romance story with McKay (since he has such bad luck and I can't see it working with Weir for the same reason Caldwell had a lot of paperwork for her kissing Sheppard in "The Long Goodbye"), but I realized McKay would be too much of a weenie to actively pursue anyone unless there was a good reason why he needed to. The story kinda drags (in my opinion) until they start looking for "Mom." The first few chapters are just set up.

Elizabeth Weir was bored. There was no other explanation for it as she leaned over the railing, sipping her coffee. Atlantis had been much too quiet recently, not that she didn't enjoy not having to rush about trying to save the city from one disaster or another, but it left her very bored. Col. Sheppard's team, minus Rodney, were training the newest batch of soldiers and scientists from Earth on protocol and Wraith etiquette. Which, in her understanding, meant lots and lots of shooting practice while having John, Ronan and Teyla looking over their shoulders and giving a rundown of all the things in the Pegasus galaxy that could potentially hurt, kill or maim them. She wouldn't be surprised if all the new recruits suddenly decided to return back to Earth on the Deadalus. She smirked at the thought of a stampede of both scientists and soldiers alike rushing her office in a panic.

Rodney had of course, opted out of training and instead chose to accompany the group of scientists headed to P4892 with Major Lorne. He had decided to bring a handful of the newest soldiers that he had handpicked to take under his wing and who had been able to escape Atlantis 101, the name Sheppard had given his 'seminar.' This was their first time off world, but Elizabeth was sure they'd be alright.

P4892 was uninhabited except for little creatures that resembled earth chipmunks but covered in dark green feathers, and even they were too shy to come out of hiding much less present a problem to Major Lorne's team. There weren't even any ruins on the planet, just one large energy source that seemed to come from the soil itself that McKay thought he might be able to incorporate in Atlantis technology, not that it had sounded very promising. Even McKay had said it was doubtful at best, but even a boring mission was better than training in his mind, so he invited himself along on the (mostly shakedown) mission. She wondered how he was faring…

Suddenly the off-world activation alarm went off and she rushed down to the control center to find out who was dialing in. She looked to the technician.

"It's Major Lorne's team ma'am. He says Dr. McKay had a slight accident and they're bringing him in for treatment."

Weir reached over to activate the comm. "Major, what is your status? What sort of accident did Dr. McKay have?"

She could hear McKay arguing with someone in the background, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Major Lorne came back on sounding highly amused. "Nothing serious Dr. Weir. McKay twisted his ankle and so me and one of the newbies decided to escort him back for treatment."

"Understood. Whenever you're ready."

Weir looked to the gate, not knowing what to expect, but when they exited the gate, she found her mouth had fallen open in surprise and quickly closed it while jogging down.

"I thought you said it was nothing serious." She said looking from Lorne to the new recruit, a pretty woman around 30 trying to hold back a grin. Her cheeks were pink from exertion and she had the classic v-shaped sweat line on her shirt from heavy exercise.

Major Lorne looked to the new recruit, who Elizabeth saw was Lieutenant A. Taylor. "Well, Ma'am…" she started, "Doctor McKay hurt his ankle and he was in so much pain that I offered to carry him to the gate to facilitate treatment. He accepted and here we are. Permission to bring him to the infirmary ma'am?" She asked, all innocence.

Elizabeth could only stare for a moment. Rodney was still making sputtering noises as if he could no longer form words, and really, Elizabeth could see why. He was draped across the shoulders of the female soldier who had both her arms wrapped around his torso and legs on either side of her head, holding him in place. She could only be a few inches taller than 5 foot and maybe weighed 130 pounds of what Elizabeth had at first thought was feminine curves when they headed off-world, but now realized was pure muscle if she could carry Rodney and still smile about it. Elizabeth snapped out of it when Taylor asked, "Ma'am?"

"Of course you can." She paused here, not wanting her overwhelming amusement to show through her voice, Rodney was after all, just a few feet away and she could tell by the stiffness in his spine that he was listening to every word. "In fact, I'll walk down with you. Major Lorne, feel free to return to P4892. I'll make sure they arrive in the infirmary alright."

With a smirk, Lorne nodded and walked up to the control center while Weir called out, "Oh, could you inform Beckett we have a casualty on the way?"

This seemed to spur Rodney out of his silent shock. "Now wait just one minute!" He shouted.

Weir now openly grinned and turning to Taylor, asked, gesturing gallantly ahead of her, "Shall we?"

Taylor grinned back and preceded Weir out of the room, carrying a now struggling and shouting McKay on her back.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Beckett was a bundle of nerves. He had just gotten a call on the comm. that a casualty was coming in and that Weir was accompanying them, but he couldn't get any details out of the technician he had talked to. He had just said, 'you'll see when they get there.' And so Beckett was frantically trying to prepare for any medical emergency he could think of. He was unsure why they were bringing the injured man or women there instead of waiting for Beckett and a medical team, which just made him fret more. He could now hear voices outside and slightly down the hall, or rather one voice, Rodney.

He was shouting and sounded like he was struggling and berating someone at the same time. Beckett grabbed his bag and ran out to meet them, his team at his heels carrying other various equipment. The sight that greeted him was not one he had expected to see in a million years. Weir and a female soldier he had never seen before were walking down the hall with a shouting Rodney McKay strung over the female soldier's back like a demented mink coat, while other scientists lined the hallways with looks of great amusement on their faces, but all seemingly too scared to laugh as a red-faced McKay was turning his head back and forth frantically to see who was there and threatening them with bodily harm should they make a sound. Beckett did the only thing a man could do in his position. He laughed.

Rodney turned his head so quickly that Taylor thought he might have gotten whiplash as he glared at the bulky, but cute-looking man standing in the hallway holding a medical bag and laughing huge belly-laughs so hard that tears were starting to leak out of his eyes.

"Oh great, that's just great Carson! I would hope that you of all people would be able to maintain a micrometer of professionalism! And would just put me down already?" He finished, roaring in Taylor's ear. She winced at the volume, which seemed to sober Beckett up enough that he motioned them into what must be the infirmary while trying to get his laughing under control.

Taylor obliged, thinking the whole time, geez, I didn't think we'd make that much of a scene. She really hadn't been trying to, but McKay had been so condescending towards her, the other soldiers and even his own scientists, that she'd thought she might help take him down a peg or two. She certainly didn't think carrying him would make that much of a fuss. She walked over to where Carson was standing at a bed, no longer laughing but with a huge grin plastered on his face. She went to dump McKay from her shoulders head-first when Rodney yelped, "Hey, watch it, that's my head!"

Turning her head in his direction, even though she knew he couldn't see her, she said, "Oops, sorry Dr. McKay. I just seem to be having some trouble telling your ends apart." She said it with such a straight face and voice, tinged with a hint of an easy-going, southern accent (which was weird Elizabeth thought, because she could have sworn that Taylor had come from Illinois) that Elizabeth could no longer hold her mirth in and burst out laughing as Taylor set McKay down gently on his bottom.

Rodney glared at Elizabeth and muttered something about soldiers having all brawn and no brain as Carson looked him over, still trying to figure out why Rodney had been carried to the infirmary when nothing seemed wrong.

"Er, Rodney?" He asked confused, "Exactly what seems to be the problem?"

Rodney's response to this was to cross his arms and stare off into space somewhere to Carson's right, his jaw set stubbornly. Well, I'll get nothing out of him.

Carson turned to the soldier, Taylor, with a questioning glance. She looked a little uncomfortable as she shifted her weight and then said with perfect military bearing and no accent whatsoever, but with the same easy-going attitude as before, "Well, doctor McKay hurt his leg after slipping down a wet hill and insisted his leg must be broken and that he was in great pain. He said he couldn't make it back on his own steam and that we should return with a jumper for the two-mile walk back to the gate. Well, Major Lorne said that we were in no way going back for a jumper so I offered to carry him back. He accepted my offer graciously and I… assisted him here."

"You carried him two miles?" Carson asked with disbelief. No wonder she looked so sweaty and tired. Carson turned to Rodney for his reaction. Rodney glared at her while making crude gestures that amounted to what are you, an idiot? While saying, "Oh yeah right! Accepted your offer graciously my butt! I said 'yeah, as if you could,' and you just up and heaved me over your shoulders like a sack of flour which is probably all your head is filled with! I tried talking sense into her, but it was like talking to a brick and all Lorne kept saying was, 'it's good training for her.' Barbaric was what it was! And what's with the tone Carson! I'm not that heavy and two miles isn't that far!"

It was now Carson's turn to sputter in disbelief. Two miles wasn't far? She bloody carried his whining butt all the way back and he's complaining?

Before Rodney could go into one of his long rants about Taylor's intelligence, Weir decided to intervene.

"Okay, it's over. It seems to me like we had a small break down in communication, isn't that right Taylor?" She said looking to Taylor who nodded emphatically, still the picture of innocence. "See Rodney? No harm, no foul. Taylor, why don't you join Col. Sheppard and for the rest of Atlantis 101. Carson, if you could update me on McKay's … condition?" Beckett nodded and Weir followed Taylor out the door turning in the opposite direction as she headed to her office. She wanted to read up a little on the new recruits, especially one Lieutenant A. Taylor. As she walked, she couldn't help but smile and think, well, I'm certainly not bored now.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: No Taylor in not retarded or stupid at all. In fact, I'm going to make her a scientist of sorts that joined the military. It's hard giving a new character depth! REVIEW PLEASE!