Who would ever dream of having a "The Nanny" crossover with Stargate? Who would ever be crazy enough to think Fran Fine and Stargate should be in the same paragraph much less the same story? Teri that's who. So I have the distinction and great honor of introducing probably the worst crossover ever . . . .

The Producer
A"The Nanny" /"Stargate: SG-1" Crossover
by Teri

Summary: Wormhole X-Treme gets a new Producer, but it is his wife who by the power of her voice that gives Jack a real headache. (Crossover with "The Nanny")

Note: This was previously posted at Wormhole Crossing (Archive for Stargate Crossovers) about 6 months ago, but realized I had not posted it here yet.

Disclaimer: As always I am not associated with the owners and creators of Stargate or The Nanny.

Several Airmen were sitting in the Mess Hall having dinner and relaxing. The base had been on alert and things had been hectic and this was the first opportunity they had for a break.

"This alert made me miss Sci-Friday, again!" Was the loud complaint of Nurse Kelly.

"You watch Sci-Fi?" Sgt. Walter Davis-Harriman gave an incredulous look worthy of General O'Neill, "with our jobs?"

"Sure, I like Farscape and I adore Wormhole X-Treme!"

"You're kidding? That drivel?" Airman Sheffield asked.

"I hear the stunt coordinator is one of the best," Sgt. Sillar added as he joined the group.

"Absolutely," Kelly agreed winking at Sillar who acknowledged her with a nod.

"My favorite part is the romance between Col. Danning and Major Stacy Monroe," McCaffery another tech added.

"Well," Kelly leaned forward conspiratorially, "I read there could be some new progress on that front now that they brought in a new pair of executive producers."

"Really? I hadn't read that?" Walter replied with surprise.

"Don't watch Sci-Fi, huh?" Sheffield asked as the others laughed at the flummoxed look on Walter's face.

"Well, I . . . . Ok," he rolled his eyes and surrendered, "new producer?"

Kelly just grinned at his consternation, "yes, they are bring in a pair of former Broadway producers. They've done a little TV, but not much."

"Who?" questioned Airman Sheffield in a tone that sounded almost worried.

Kelly was surprised and tried to remember, "ah .. . oh, C. C. Babcock and Maxwell Sheffield."

Sillar, as did several others, caught the name, "hey, B. Any relation?"

"No!" He said in a way that convinced all present that the answer was a definitive YES.

"Maxwell!" The loud nasal voice rang through the whole room, "I miss B."

Max walked over and placed his arms around his wife, "Fran, there isn't much I can do about that. He has enlisted in the armed service and I am quite sure that Uncle Sam doesn't allow him to come home because his mother misses him. Cheer-up, he promised he would be on-leave soon."

"But I miss him . . . "

"I know you do honey," he pulled his wife into a hug to comfort her.

C.C. rolled her eyes at what she considered a sappy scene. "Well, Maxwell, now that we are producing that Air Force show, why don't you request, uh," what washis name? "the boy as an advisor or a liaison or something?"

"Ow, ow, oh, oh, oh," Fran looked at Max. "Yes, do that, do that!"

"Airman!" Bryton turned at the sound of the base commander's voice.

"Sir?'

"I want to know why an Airman, working for the most secretly guard project isbeing specifically requested by a Hollywood Producer as the new technical advisor!"

"Huh?" Bryton replied confused before he realized to whom he was talking to, "I mean, sorry Sir, I don't understand, Sir?"

"A Ms. Boobcock,"

"Babcock, Sir," he sigh in defeat slowly realizing what must be going on.

"Babcock from Wormhole X-Treme," Jack looked lost in thought for a moment, "I thought her husband had said Boobcock?" Jack looked at the Airman in front of him, "have you been talking about your work?"

"No, Sir!" Bryton could see that General O'Neill didn't believe him, he sigh as he decided to tell the General the full truth. "CC is my father's business partner. They are Broadway producers who now work in TV."

"You're father produced Broadway? Anything good?"

"Not really," Bryton had to admit. "He is best known for turning down Cats."

"Ouch," Jack looked at the kid in front of him, "so he just wants his son regardless of where you work?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I can't authorize a member of the SGC for a job in media relations especially with that show."

"Understood, Sir."

"Turned down Cats, Huh?"

"Yeah."

Jack just started to shake his head as he dismissed the airman.

"I'm sorry, Fran, the request was denied."

"Denied! They can't keep my son from me! I'll go right to the top! I'll call, I'll call, oh I know I will call Roger Clinton!"

"Fran, darling, his brother isn't President anymore."

"Oh, well, I'll find someone!"

"Sir?"

"You heard me, Jack. Do something. I don't care if you invite the Sheffields through the gate and leave them on the other end. Just STOP THAT WOMAN from leaving me and half of Congress messages," President Hays angrily told Jack. "Between calls from her and that mother of hers most of beltway is ready to pass special legislation to have her vocal cords removed."

"I won't bother asking what woman, Sir."

"Good idea and, Jack, get her to stop before you have to come and explain to a special joint session of congress. Cause trust me there will be bi-partisan support to punish anyone that doesn't stop those calls. OY THAT VOICE!"

"Yes, Sir, Mr. President."

Told you this was the worse crossover ever, didn't I?

Teri