I BELONG TO YOU
Pairing: kakashixsakura
Summary: Marrying him had been the biggest mistake of her life. KakashixSakura
A/N – So, I'm a closet kakashi x sakura fan…yeah…
Don't own naruto…
She was fine; she knew what she was doing. How many times had she told him that, and how many times had he given her a skeptical look, walked away, and returned to ask the same question the next day?
But the words had become hollow. Though she suspected he now asked only out of habit and to annoy her, her response was no longer true. She wasn't fine anymore, didn't know what she was doing, or what to do… five years. Nearly five years it had been, since she had foolishly agreed to marry him at the tender age of seventeen. Seventeen…she had known then that the only reason Sasuke wanted to marry her was to bear his children and restore his family. Known it, and she had still accepted his proposal…how naïve she had been then, to believe he would ever love her!
Not even her friends had liked the match. Naruto, Sasuke's best friend, had told her that it wasn't a good idea. Tsunade herself had asked her, as her mentor, not to marry him. Sasuke had changed, they all said, since he came back from Orochimaru. He'd become a shell, a mere shadow of a person. However, she had still believed that one day Sasuke would look at her with love in his gaze, and not just cold indifference. Five years later it still hadn't happened, and Sakura had long since lost all hope.
She walked slowly through the streets, on her way to the jounin headquarters. Even though she wasn't a jounin, she was still allowed in because of her husband's status. Yet it wasn't her husband she was looking for. It never was.
"Are you all right, Sakura?" The familiar voice spoke from behind her, and she took her hand off the doorknob. Not bothering to turn around, she hesitated only a second before her usual reply spilled from her mouth,
"I'm fine. I still know what I'm doing…" Realizing he would have noticed her hesitation, she turned around and gave him a reassuring smile. "Can't you ever just say 'good morning' like a normal person, Kakashi?"
He was staring at her intensely with his black eye, making her feel like he could see right through her lie, right to her dark, miserable core. He walked past and opened the door, motioning her inside.
"Because..." He said after a minute. Sakura realized this was a response to her previous question, and she waited for an elaboration. "Why'd you hesitate before answering me?" He asked, carefully avoiding her question.
"I didn't." She lied.
"You did."
"Why'd you avoid my question?" He shrugged and took a seat on one of the couches. Sakura sighed.
"I hesitated because…well it's selfish of me, really…" She let her voice trail off. A part of the truth wouldn't hurt to say to him, would it? Kakashi's eye, which had been scanning a page of his favorite orange novel, snapped up to look at her. She figured he hadn't expected her to say anything more about it. Sakura chewed on her bottom lip, averting her eyes from his penetrating gaze.
"In what way is it selfish?" He asked, gently.
"Well, you know that Sasuke left on a mission a few days ago, right?" She started, careful not to talk too fast, and careful not to look him in the eye.
"Yes, the two week long one to the Stone country."
"Yes, that one…" She continued to chew her lip, Kakashi still waiting patiently for her to continue. "It's my birthday next Monday. I think he forgot." She shut her eyes tightly, blinking back tears. How stupid that had sounded, even to her. Sasuke had left to negotiate with the Stone to prevent war, possibly, and here she was, annoyed about a missed birthday.
"Did he wish you a happy birthday before he left?" Kakashi asked, voice agonizingly calm, as usual. She glanced up at him.
"No."
"Could you have been half asleep when he said it, and thus do not remember?"
"He left me a note." She said flatly. "Saying how long he'd be gone. Nothing else." She managed to say this without her voice betraying how furious she'd been at his inadequate note.
Kakashi studied her face. "Ah." He said at last. "Well, Sakura, undeniably he had a lot on his mind." Her eyes left his and glared at the floor. What had she expected? It wasn't like Kakashi knew the extent of her growing misery concerning her husband.
"But it was still wrong. How old are you going to be?" Her eyes snapped back up, surprised.
"Twenty-three…" She said, softly.
He smiled at her, softly. "How about Naruto and I take you out for lunch on your birthday, Sakura? We'll both be in town." She chewed her lip with renewed fervor. Years of considering herself to be weak and worthless came rushing back, making her almost unwilling to accept Kakashi's offer. Almost.
"That would be nice, Kakashi, thank you." He didn't do it out of pity. She assured herself. Even if he had, she still didn't want to be by herself on her birthday…
"Anytime." His eye returned to the page of his book he had been reading. He'd always been there for her, she realized while quietly observing him. Every day, Sasuke was breaking her heart a little more, and everyday when Kakashi asked his usual question, he somehow seemed to mend her. She didn't know why or how, and doubted he knew what he did for her, but she was grateful. It was undeniable that besides Naruto, he was her closest friend. Despite this, she feared that one of these days; her heart would be shattered beyond repair…
"Is something else bothering you, Sakura?" She jerked from her thoughts, and blinked in surprise.
"No." She lied. "Why do you ask?"
He absently turned a page of his book, though she noticed his eye was not moving back and forth as it normally should when someone was reading. "You're staring at me." He said simply.
"Oh." She said, cheeks flushing slightly. "Just lost in my thoughts, I wasn't looking at you in particular."
"Ah." He regarded her for a moment more before standing and walking towards a door to the right, which led to the small jounin HQ kitchen. "I'm going to make some coffee. Would you like a cup?"
"Yes please." She stared at the seat the tall Copy Nin had vacated, and without thinking, moved over and sat in it, enjoying the leftover warmth. These days, she looked for happiness in whatever she could.
You're acting like a fool, Sakura. She thought, not for the first time. Just file for divorce, already. Her eyes widened slowly, astounded at the quiet realization that separation from Sasuke was indeed what she wanted.
"I need to train." She said out loud, standing up quickly. Vent some of this out of my system…
"Drink this first; I don't want to have made it for nothing." An amused voice drifted from the doorway of the kitchen. Kakashi was standing on the threshold, two cups of coffee held in each of his gloved hands. She wondered at his speedy return; apparently this building had the fastest coffee machine in Konoha. "Drink it with me, Sakura. I actually had something serious to discuss with you today."
Her eyebrows raised in unison. "Oh?" The conversations she had with Kakashi were never too serious, mostly they chatted about small, light things. Occasionally they talked about work, at times he would even tell a tale of previous missions he had been on. When he wanted to, Kakashi could tell quite a story.
Kakashi nodded, and motioned to a poker table in the corner of the lounging room; the only kind of table in the building. "Sit." He handed her the mug of warm liquid and sat himself at the table. She followed suit, brain working at what he could possibly want to discuss.
What if he really can tell that I've been lying to him? The thought shocked her, but she kept her face impassive, expression mild.
"You're a very smart woman, Sakura." He started. "Your chakra manipulation is incredible. Your medical jutsus are damn near perfect." He met her eyes. "Why haven't you applied for the jounin test? You know very well you'd make an excellent medical ninja. So why?"
"You think I'm ready?" She blurted out. Sasuke had always assured her that while she was undeniably much better than she had ever been, she needed more work before she could even dream of becoming a jounin.
"You've been ready for a couple of years!" He said with obvious surprise. "Who said you weren't?" She drained her steaming mug and stood from the table quickly, accidentally knocking over her chair.
"Thanks for the coffee, Kakashi." She said, turning her back on him and starting for the door. Kakashi grabbed her wrist.
"Sakura?"
Her rage at Sasuke fizzled out the moment her name left Kakashi's covered lips. She sighed.
"Thank you for your confidence in me, Kakashi." She said. "Perhaps I will sign up for the upcoming test." His grip on her wrist didn't loosen.
"If he hurt you…" He said slowly. She didn't have to ask who. "You'd tell me, right?"
He was toeing a dangerous wire here, and he knew it. He was assuming that it was Sasuke keeping her from jounin status, assuming that something deeper was going on in the life of the pink haired kunoichi.
"If he did…" She said, "You'd be the first to know." She disappeared in a poof of smoke, using a teleportation jutsu to leave his presence before she ended up pouring out her heart to him. She never liked lying to any of her friends, and she seemed to do it so often these days…
Later, she lay on her back and stared at the overcast sky in her private clearing in the forest. She felt oddly like Shikamaru, though she wasn't really watching the clouds. Her eyes were slightly glazed, starting at nothing, misted over with tears that refused to fall. She sighed as the first raindrop hit her face.
Sakura relaxed her tense body, letting the heavy rain drench her for a moment more, listening to the rolling thunder, admiring the twisted lightning that ripped through the sky. How very much like her, today's weather was…
Stop being so fucking melodramatic! Her inner self said, somewhere in the back of her mind.
"Yeah, yeah…" She stood and began her long trek home, not bothering to use chakra to hurry her movements. Walking in the rain had always been a peaceful, calming experience for her.
What did you think? Please review...It's really depressing when you upload something and don't get any reviews...
Don't know when you can expect the next chapter, but I'll do my best to get it up soon
Fade