Annoying a Madman

Chapter 1: Default Chapter

Summery: Ever wonder what goes on in Death Eater territory? You're not missing anything, as shown by one bored member. However this job isn't so bad when you go out of your way to provide entertainment

Disclaimer: I don't own the books the movies or really anything to do with Harry Potter

Hello, my name is Staci and I'm one of the newest members of the Death Eaters. Don't ask. I'm really not all that evil; it's just that I have nothing to do with my pathetic life.

Well mostly I just hang out here at headquarter. What a waste of time! And it's all because of that stupid application! I mean they should really specify what 'Other' means on that thing. They actually gave us a choice of missions though… 'Killing' or 'Other' and since killing really isn't my thing, I chose 'Other'. If I'd known that it would mean cleaning, and paperwork I would have chose murder. I would have just 'accidentally' missed the intended target. What would they have done, take away my Christmas bonus? Not much of a bonus I'll tell you, old man Voldemort doesn't even pay us. He just promises to reward us when he kills some kid named Harry. What's up with that? He can't take on anyone his own size, so he has to kill a kid? And after all these time he STILL can't defeat that child? My god I'm working for the wrong side… -bangs head against desk-

Anyway I'm stuck with the cleaning and paperwork and I get to go to the meetings. Oh joy…listening to all the little suck ups tell their stories. All we need now is the campfire, Cola, and a rousing chorus of Kum-Buy-Ya. Yay, we've recruited another little wannabe. –Rolls eyes- that's my day right there. You can tell how exciting they are. –Sarcasm-

I must have been the only idiot to sign up for this crap job too, because there is no one in this office but me. I can guarantee that the others get to go out and practice their 'killing' only I really doubt that they murder anyone. I wonder where they go…Starbucks? Hm…maybe I'll have to ask them to bring me a latte someday… mmmm….latte… -drools-

So one of my jobs is cleaning, cleaning of all things! My god this place is a dump! I will never get up and clean this place when there are 20+ wizards and witches here that can use a goddamn wand and help out. So basically I'm stuck for 10 boring hours that I should actually be doing something. And then there's paperwork. Oh my god, don't get me started! This job SUCKS! Why do all the people in this 'organization; have weird names? Bellatrix, Lucius, Dolo…whatever! What were these people thinking? Of course none of these guys are smart enough to spell anyway so maybe it's a good thing that I'm here. The morons are still trying to spell my name. IT'S FIVE FREAKIN' LETTERS! –Sigh-

This job does have its benefits however. By reading all this unnecessary paper, I have learned many, MANY secrets… (Such as: Lucius loves rubber ducks...why they have that on file I have NO idea...freaks) and all those hours I should have been cleaning? Not totally lost to boredom. Instead I have devised a list (with the help of my comrades on the outside –grins-) of the best ways to get on Lord Voldemort's nerves.

Now I'm going to leave…Macnair has a suspicious look on his face and has a hot iron…-thump- GODDAMN IT! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BRAND ME WITH THE DARK MARK YOU STUPID PYRO! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER DAMN IT! –Crash-