BPS Secret Santa 2005

Something with Norrington and Elizabeth for Jennifer (jenthegypsy).

The usual disclaimers; not mine, not for profit, etc. Definitely not betaed.

Rating: G in the first part and PG in the 2nd part (just for the occasional naughty word)

A/N: DMC and AWE are no where to be found in this tale, nor will they be. So there.

This is a substantial rewrite of the original version and I have to say I am rather pleased with the improvement. Cheorl did wish the lieutenants to get in to much greater flights of mischief, however, that was not to be but they are not forgotten and have their own roles to play in another story.

I delight in the characters of Sparrow and Norrington and frankly, they are of much greater depth and interest than Elizabeth and Will. For those who prefer Elizabeth the Pirate King, fine, but PotC is Jack's story. For those who like her, that's perfectly fine but I am not in those ranks. I have tried to give her more consideration and less selfishness, on the occasions that I write her, so that will have to do.

An Invitation to a Ball

Ensconced behind a veritable mountain of paper, James Norrington refused to look up at his secretary as the man entered his office, absolutely certain to the core of his being that Wincott was going to add more to the piles. He was of the opinion that the latest offering would either be the proverbial straw and his desk would come crashing down from the sheer weight or, his personal favourite, he would succumb to a screaming fit and be hauled off ranting to take up residence in a nice quiet cell. The cell would have no paperwork with which to torment him and thus was the most attractive option.

Wincott, being the intelligent observant man he was, knew that the Commodore was purposely ignoring him but persevered with his customary polite ruthlessness. He stood by the desk and waited patiently until Norrington's sense of duty and responsibility would make him look up. It would not take that long, it never did.

Acknowledging defeat yet again, Norrington heaved a sigh and sat back to glare at his tormentor, daring him to so much as hint at smiling in satisfaction. Completely unmoved, Wincott handed over several more packets of documents requiring signatures, a letter of complaint from some disgruntled tradesman or other in the town, and the weekly list of supplies to be authorized for the garrison, itemized down to the most minute detail. The Commodore was to read and sign the first lot, decide what to do about the complaint, and to review and sign the supplies list. Wincott would return an hour hence to retrieve the completed documents and instructions for the letter to be sent to the tradesman.

Norrington picked up his quill to do as he was ordered but glanced up again as Wincott quietly cleared his throat. Uncharacteristically, the older man was fidgeting with a sealed and waxed embossed letter and hesitating to get to the point. The Commodore looked at the letter but could make out nothing untoward that would cause his secretary to be in such an apparent quandary.

"Well, Wincott, what is it? I can hardly guess the sender and the contents until I open the thing."

Norrington reached out his hand to take the letter and watched in puzzlement as Wincott reluctantly held it out to him. Still keeping his eyes on the other man, he turned the document over so that he could read the inscription on the front and realized that he knew the hand that he saw there. Hardly surprising as he had watched the writer grow from child to adult, even going so far as to make an offer of marriage to her on the day he was formally recognized as Commodore. Norrington now comprehended Wincott's reluctance to deliver Elizabeth's missive, understanding that his secretary was a friend as well as his personal tyrant and one who had been quite incensed on his behalf by the manner of Miss Swann's machinations and her very public rejection.

"Do not concern yourself over Miss Swann's penning me a letter, Wincott. We have come to an accord, she and I, on the form and substance of our relationship. I know now where her heart lies and, my own hopes aside, I have liked Will Turner since the day we rescued him from the sea. He was a good lad then and a good man now and I count him as friend, not foe, even with his particular pirate friends thrown into the mixture. She did try to be honest with me but I eventually came to understand the degree of anxiety and fear she held for Will and her desperation when we were aboard the Dauntless to save both Will and her friend Sparrow. For what it is worth, she used Sparrow for much the same ends as she did me. You know as well as I do, or perhaps better, how single minded and determined the young can be and she was very young at that time."

Wincott frowned, somewhat impatient with Norrington for taking so benign a course and for being so forgiving to those who had caused him such hurt. He knew he was not alone in his estimation of Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner but was perfectly aware the Commodore's mind was made up and he would tolerate only so much from his staff and officers on his own behalf, more was the pity. Accepting defeat, the secretary held his peace, merely repeating that he would return for the papers in an hour's time.

"Thank you, my friend, I will be finished soon and then I shall deal with this letter before I return to my quarters."

For the next hour or so, by the glass, Norrington worked diligently at the documents, stacking the completed ones neatly on the corner of his desk closest to where his secretary would come in. He liked an orderly desk where everything had a place and was kept in it; he snickered to himself as he thought of the chaos that must surround the likes of Jack Sparrow. The man obviously adored being the eye of the storm while all else swirled around him like flotsam caught up tail over tea kettle in a water spout.

The other tasks completed and stacked away, there was nothing left to prevent him from opening the letter from his once-fiancée so Norrington picked it up and swiftly broke the wax seal, rather like pulling a scab off to see what was underneath the way children always did. He flattened the page and held it up, deciding to lean back and relax his properly straight spine for once. Given the time of year, he had a suspicion what the young woman was about and upon perusing the letter rapidly, he found himself to be correct in his supposition.

There was to be a ball and a supper for the elite of the community and many were being invited, including the Commodore, naturally. Elizabeth made the request very carefully, delicately phrasing the invitation so as not to distress James unnecessarily, a fact he told himself he should be more appreciative of. Placing the pages down upon his desk, Norrington stood, stretched luxuriously and stepped over to the cabinet beside his favourite window to pour a glass of wine. He leaned against the window jamb and sipped slowly, looking out to the horizon as he allowed his thoughts to roam freely. Whilst he was contemplating the far side of the world, a knock on his door interrupted his thoughts and Wincott entered.

"Pardon the interruption, Commodore, but there is a visitor here to see you. She does not have an appointment but does request an audience nonetheless."

Norrington turned and stared at his disapproving secretary. Wincott would appear to most as a dull man without expression but Norrington knew much better from long acquaintance; Wincott reserved that particular expression for the Swann chit. Sighing, he thought that his secretary really needed to get past the incident and leave it behind, for all Norrington appreciated the caring loyalty demonstrated on his behalf.

"I've completed the papers so you may take them with you after you show the young lady in, Wincott."

"Thank you, sir. Will you wish to have a tea tray brought up or other refreshments?"

"A tray would be appreciated. Is there any of that golden oolong remaining? If so, that would be very nice."

"Yes, sir, there is some left. I will see to the refreshments now."

With that, the older man retrieved the documents and exited to direct Miss Swann in to the Commodore's office. Elizabeth was dressed very smartly in her favourite blue sprigged gown, the modest panniers impeding her progress not at all. The delightful lace confection set jauntily upon her coiled hair suited her very well, he thought, a single lustrous ringlet gently caressing her slender neck. He made his bow to her and she curtseyed in return before he politely led her to a chair beside his desk, going around to resume his customary seat after she was comfortably ensconced. Although relations were improving between them, sometimes James preferred to keep a degree of distance between them until he saw how things were playing out.

"It is a surprise to see you here, Miss Swann. I only just received your invitation to the gala."

"Yes, Commodore, the invitations are going out all around the district but I particularly wished to visit you and ask you personally if you would attend. It is very important to us as you have been a friend to all of us for so many years."

"It has been a long time, has it not? I remember you and Will as children when we first came across him adrift. You certainly lost no time in recruiting him into your schemes as I recollect, quite to the dismay of your father and the amusement of the crew. I believe now Will is beginning to stand on his own and shows signs of maturing into a man of some reputation and ability."

"Yes, he is, and I know how much you've had to do with that over the years. If it were not for your interest, Will's life would have been much more difficult and harder for him to fulfill that promise."

Norrington looked down at his clasped hands, an expression of bland disinterest on his face; he really did not wish to talk about Will's sterling qualities. He had already made his determination and would stand by it and the younger man but he was not of a mood to continue ad nauseum on the subject.

He was saved from having to find something else to say when Wincott entered with the tea tray and the next few minutes were taken up with pouring the tea and making all the appropriate comments on the light repast presented. When Elizabeth had relaxed a trifle, Norrington decided it was time to find out what she was really about; he knew her habit of scheming and manipulation, even when she meant well for those caught up in her ploys.

"Now that you have had your tea and biscuits, perhaps you will tell me what you have really come to ask of me, Elizabeth."

To his amusement, the young woman seated across from him suddenly developed a great interest in the bottom of her dish of tea. Had she not had a stern nanny and a long string of determined governesses, Elizabeth would have been fidgeting but early training prevailed…mostly. He fixed his gaze upon her, knowing she would not be able to avoid his look for very long; she never had been able to and would soon confess whatever it was that had brought her to the fort this day.

She returned her tea to the desk and looked up for an instant, taking a deep breath before she started to explain her request, forcing her bosom to fullness above the tightly laced corset fashion demanded of her. He remembered her fainting from one of the things and taking that horrific fall into the sea but had to admit that, sometimes, the instruments of torture did have benefits to observant males in the vicinity and he was nothing if not observant. He allowed a frankly admiring expression to show and waited for her to catch him at it. She was not the only one who could tease and it would do her good to be on the receiving end of things for once.

Elizabeth looked up and did indeed see the interested look on her old friend's face, especially as he had kept those striking green eyes fixed pointedly upon her décolletage. She blushed, partly from embarrassment and partly because she was satisfied at being the focus of his undivided attention. Recalling what she had come about, Elizabeth put James' teasing to the back of her mind and opened negotiations, patently ignoring his sly leer.

"James, shame on you for putting me to the blush. You are aware that this ball will be quite a crush, are you not, James? There will be people from all over in attendance and from all walks, given that it's Christmas and you know how Father so likes to make everyone welcome."

"Yes, I am aware of that."

She glared a bit at him.

"You're not helping here, James. You know that, don't you?"

"Naturally."

"You are a wretch, you know. One would never think you were capable of such guile if one only looked at you when you are busy being so Commodore-ish."

"We know better now, don't we, Elizabeth?"

"I'm beginning to wonder if I ever knew you at all, James, but I am making progress, I think."

"You were saying something about the upcoming ball being quite a crush, I believe?" James redirected the conversation back to the topic, a tiny smirk showing on his face as he raised his brows in inquiry.

"Yes. I came to beg a favour of you…" Elizabeth's voice trailed off and she was left with a look of indecision as she attempted to find the correct words for the situation.

"Elizabeth…"

"I am trying here, James."

"Shall I say it for you, then?"

"What? How do you know what I wish to ask of you? I haven't even been able to say it yet."

"Could you possibly be wishing to have Jack Sparrow, I beg your pardon, Captain Jack Sparrow, attend your ball? Could that be the issue that has brought you here?"

Elizabeth looked at Norrington, a bit relieved that he had said what she had not been able to and somewhat dismayed at how easily he had come to the correct conclusion. Sometimes she forgot that under the distinguished uniform, the man was sharp and observant of his fellow man. James was perfectly aware of Jack's place in Elizabeth's and Will's lives and had experienced the pirate's penchant for chaotic uproar personally. He would expect her to want to have the pirate visit upon occasion; after all, Norrington was the one who had allowed Jack that one day's head start and risked his career upon his decision, opting for a just outcome rather than an unjust hanging.

"Ah, yes, that was what I wished to ask. I understand it would be difficult."

"Elizabeth, I cannot just allow known pirates to wander in and out of Port Royal unchecked. The Admiralty would certainly see their way to ending my career permanently if they caught wind of such negligence upon my part."

"He would be on his best behaviour, Will and I would see to it."

"Sparrow could run rings around the pair of you with little difficulty. I really do not see how you would be able to control him, especially if you are the hostess of this ball and Will is dancing attendance upon you. No. I will not permit a pirate to make himself a nuisance under our feet. If he were to be seen and recognized, the situation would be disastrous."

"James…is there no means by which you could grant him leave to be here, even for merely the one evening?"

"No, Miss Swann, I will not give a recognized pirate such as Sparrow carte blanche to run rampant and unhindered about the town."

With that statement, James rose from his chair and wandered back to his window, sipping his tea and looking out to sea again while he waited for Elizabeth's next move in their game. He had had an idea and was waiting for an opening to make use of it now that he had carefully planted the seed. It did not take too long for Elizabeth to join Norrington at the window; she had not exhausted her plays yet and was about to have another try at persuading the naval officer when he spoke pre-emptively.

"You know, I have just been remembering that night aboard Dauntless, when you and I were talking with Sparrow."

"You were? Why would you think of that now, Commodore?"

"Well, looking at you today, in that lovely gown and all, one would never believe how you appeared in that marine's uniform. It was quite disgraceful, of course, but better than your ruined shift, I believe."

"Yes, it was, once I became accustomed to being able to breathe and move so freely. Actually, it was a great improvement on what I must normally wear. The gowns are more beautiful but sometimes they are very restrictive."

"Returning to the subject of Sparrow. I said I could not allow a recognized pirate loose in the town and I meant that in all sincerity."

"I understood that, James, but …"

Elizabeth's voice trailed off as she abruptly realized what Norrington was about. He had said "no recognized pirate" and had mentioned her excursion into men's garments during their adventure against Barbossa and the undead pirates. She looked at him, a mixture of shocked relief, amusement, admiration and horror combined. He turned and looked down into her astonished face and smiled, looking for all the world like a very smug and satisfied cat.

"I see you have had an Idea, Elizabeth."

"You are quite possibly the most devious, underhanded, conniving man I have ever met, and that includes Jack Sparrow. I had no idea you were even capable of coming up with such a scheme and look at you now. If this is your idea of revenge on Jack, then I am speechless."

Norrington changed his expression to one of innocent confusion.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Miss Swann. I am not a man given to macabre plots for revenge. I merely mentioned that I cannot permit a recognizable known pirate to rampage about this town. You have drawn your own conclusions from a very simple remark, I am afraid."

"Let me see if I understand you. As long as I do not have visible and recognizable pirates at the ball, then you would be at ease with the guests."

"Perfectly. Aside, that is, from the surfeit of matchmaking mamas the town is plagued with." James made a slight grimace of distaste at the thought.

"You do know it will be a tremendous battle to get Jack into a gown."

"That is hardly my concern, Miss Swann. I am merely one of the many guests whom you have seen fit to invite to the Governor's Christmas ball and I have every intention of enjoying the event." It was only due to years of practice that the Commodore was able maintain an innocuous expression in light of his machination's success; he could only anticipate in silent glee what form the results would take. An attentive host, he looked to his guest's needs.

"More tea, my dear?"

An Invitation to a Ball, Part 2: wherein a Pirate undergoes Transformation and a Commodore demonstrates his Perfidy

"I still don't believe the Commodore came up with this plot all on his onesies, Miss Swann!"

"Shut up, Jack, and just get on with it."

"Will, can't you do something about her, you're the one what's going to marry the harridan?"

Jack's whining and pathetic whimpering had no effect upon his tormentors, they had a task to complete and Elizabeth would not allow it to go unfinished. Will and Gibbs held on to the squirming pirate and managed to strip him of all his clothes; only being able to get the grasping claws to release upon threatening to break them. Elizabeth stood guard at the door to the forge, her back turned discretely to the chaos, while Jack was forcibly sat down in the large wooden barrel serving as a tub and she did not even bother to hold back the giggles as the squalling victim was scrubbed down to within an inch of his life.

The trademark mare's nest of hair was dismantled of its trinkets, washed thoroughly and then curried without mercy until it actually looked like it belonged on a human head. The knots and snarls were dealt with, bringing genuine tears of pain to Jack's eyes. The cursing was becoming even more florid with each yank at his poor tormented scalp; he was certain that somewhere that accursed Norrington was laughing himself silly at the destruction he had managed to bring down upon an honest pirate…and to think Jack had actually been feeling sympathetic toward the rat bastard!

The bath finished, Jack was removed from the tub, wrapped up in a sheet and made to sit in front of a mirror well lit by a number of candles. Unfortunately, the beard would not be able to stay but he had after all agreed to the subterfuge for his visit to the children and Elizabeth's fancy ball. Sulking, he sat pouting until Gibbs had stropped the razor and was whipping up the soap into thick foam with the badger brush. Jack sighed despondently and gave in, taking up the scissors and carefully snipping the narrow braids from his chin. He really did not have that much of a beard but he had liked the beaded braids and the dashing look they gave his appearance. Why he could not have attended as a merchant or something equally innocuous was beyond him but Lizzie had acquiesced to that blasted Commodore's suggestion all too easily.

Jack kept his eyes closed as Gibbs lathered his face and carefully scraped off the whiskers, rinsing the residue off with a wet towel. He knew what he would look like without the kohl, the beard and the rest of his costume. He had always had a youthful appearance and had deliberately cultivated an older, more exotic look; after all, how could one command a ship forever looking like a stripling? He opened his eyes, looked in the mirror and turned around to face his so-called friends, rather enjoying their collective gasps and expressions of surprise as they saw his natural face for the first time.

"Good Heavens, Jack! I had no idea you looked like that underneath all the bits and bobs," Elizabeth said with a wondering gaze. "You remind me of paintings I've seen from the Renaissance; the artists then would have given their first-born to be able to paint you. This scheme might work out, after all, as long as you mind your manners, keep your voice feminine and don't grin."

"You look as young as Will does, Jack. I think the ladies about the town won't be safe at all, once they set eyes on you. Mind you, not when you're all gussied up in women's clothes, that is." Gibbs knew that Jack's handsome face and exotic looks would be the same as setting the fox among the chickens if the ladies hereabouts got wind of him like this. He did not trouble to decide who was the fox and who the chickens, it would work from both angles.

"Well, time's a-wasting. There's still the hair and make-up and costume to get him into before we can go to the ball. Do you have a name for him, or her, I mean?" Will's practical side returned them to the matters at hand. "By the way, who is going to escort her to the ball? She can't just show up out of the blue, someone will have to go with her."

Gibbs and Will looked at each other, neither being a suitable candidate as escort for Miss Sparrow or whatever her name was going to be. They tried to think of some suitable man who could manage the task and who was not already committed to some other lady. Together they looked at Elizabeth for the solution to the problem and each man began to frown as they saw a certain devious smile take shape on her comely face.

"I happen to know of one man who is not escorting a lady tonight. He is quite the handsomest fellow and something of a rogue, as I've recently discovered."

"Who would that be, love?" Will took the plunge and made the inquiry. Gibbs looked confused and Jack squinted in suspicion.

"Why…the Commodore, of course."

"You cannot be serious, Elizabeth!" Will looked aghast. Jack glared at the young woman, knowing that she would inevitably get her way, and hating the whole idea. Gibbs, after the initial shock had worn off and a precautionary "Jesus, Mary and Joseph," nearly strained himself to keep a grin from erupting. He had visions of the arrogant and starchy young lieutenant he had once served under escorting Mistress Whatever Her Name Was to the Governor's Ball. He would have to go along and find a vantage point to see what happened; the rest of the crew would never forgive him if he returned to the Pearl without all the juicy details about this escapade.

"It's not like he would be escorting any other young lady, he would just give the gossips too much to work with. He is probably the premiere matrimonial quarry on the entire island and tends to be quite wary and elusive when being actively hunted. Jack would give him the perfect excuse to avoid the talons this evening. Will, send a message to James' quarters to have him ready for the carriage to pick him up at eight and he is not to say no to me."

"You really think he would just fall in with your schemes, Elizabeth?"

"I believe he would for this as it gives him a measure of safety from the vultures. His curiosity will get the better of him, seeing as he is the one who instigated this whole mad plan."

"Serves him right, I say. Still doesn't make up for what I'm having to suffer through over here."

Jack could not keep from adding his tuppence worth. He was to the point where he wanted to see Norrington's expression for his own self when the man set eyes upon the wreckage of Captain Jack Sparrow. He supposed they should do something about a name; after all, he would not be able to use his own under the circumstances.

"Seeing as how you're planning all the details here, Miss Swann, what were you thinking of for a name for me? It better be something suitable or else I'm not playing your little game."

"I had not actually thought of a name for your alter ego, Jack, but you're right, you do need one that won't draw undue attention to you."

"He's no simpering miss as old as he is, you know, Elizabeth, so it would have to be something an older lady might use." Will was not above getting a jibe in on his now-offended friend; Jack would have to deal with that age remark at a later date but deal with it he would most certainly.

"No, you're right about that, Will. He will have to be a widow, I think, so Mistress Something Something from Somewhere or Other. Any ideas, anyone?"

"Can't call him Jacqueline, too obvious, especially if those two lieutenants of Norrington's are about. What about Mary?"

"No, too plain."

"Primrose?"

"God's Teeth, no! That's your favourite sow, Gibbs, and I refuse to have a bloody great pig for a godmother!"

"Elizabeth's out, already taken. Can't have another one running about."

"What about…"

"No."

"I didn't even get a chance to say it!" Jack was rather incensed about being denied the chance to offer up a name for his feminine alter ego.

"Oh, very well, what was it?"

"Lucrezia."

"Absolutely not. One would think immediately of Lucrezia Borgia and then where would we be?"

"Well, he does look rather foreign, doesn't he? What about something that would fit his, sorry, her looks?"

The three godparents all focussed their gimlet eyes on their reluctant, sulking godchild, considering the latest suggestion.

"He does look a bit Spanish or something like that, doesn't he?"

"What was that wife of Henry the Eighth's? You know, the first one that he got rid of so he could wed Anne Boleyn?"

"Oh, you mean Catherine of Aragon?"

"Yes, that's the one. Maybe Catherine or Katerina?"

Will, Gibbs and Elizabeth sounded the name out and smiled as they came to an agreement. The first name had been found, Jack was a widow and only needed a family name and a bit of back history and then they could fabricate the story of the guest if needed. The three conspirators nodded their heads in collective satisfaction; as their erstwhile victim rolled his eyes in singular disgust at their antics.

"All right, that works. What can we do as a last name? It probably should sound English to counteract Jack's foreignness."

"Should likely keep it simple then. The fancier the name gets, the easier it is to get into trouble. Something like Turner or Brown or…well, help me out here, you two."

"How about using the name of a town, maybe Lincoln or Plymouth or something like that?"

"Hmm, Mrs. Catherine Lincoln. That sounds rather nice, I think. Now, she's a widow so her husband, John, perhaps, that's nice and ordinary and quite unexceptionable, died a number of years ago so she's not in mourning but he left her enough to be comfortable. No children, good thing for us – and them. All right, now where did they live?"

"Somewhere that has a large enough population where people can be strangers and not know everyone and everything. London should do. Jack, have you been to London?"

Elizabeth directed her question to the victim in their plot. He had been staring at the three of them, wondering how he had allowed them to abuse him thusly and that this confounded ball had better be worth it. Finally, one of them troubled to ask him a direct question. Graciously, he decided to answer it.

"Aye, I know London well enough to pass for your little comedy here. You can say I live in Kensington above the High Street. That should be a good enough neighbourhood for you and large enough to lose someone in it."

"All right, that will work. Just be sure not to get into any deep conversations, Jack, otherwise you could let something slip by accident."

"Trust me that much, do you?"

"Well…we haven't had the opportunity to witness your behaviour under these conditions so it's probably best to be cautious. After all, James will be there and perhaps he can help keep the nosy gossips away from you. Oh! That reminds me. Can you dance at all? This is a ball and then there is the supper too. Are your table manners going to hold up to scrutiny at a dinner like this? Bother, I don't think we have enough time to teach you."

"Don't get in a tizzy, Lizzie, my table manners will serve and I'll just watch the ladies around me for what they do and ape them like a good little pirate. Moreover, before you ask again, yes, I can dance although I don't customarily take the lady's side of things. If I am asked to do a dance I'm not sure about, I'll just have to ask for a sit down and a bit of punch. Elizabeth, all I can say is there had better be the finest rum punch that's ever been made at this ball or I will be most upset with you. I think I've earned it!"

Elizabeth, Will and Joshamee stared at Jack for a silent moment, each wondering if this escapade would be a success or an unmitigated disaster. They were never completely certain of Jack's behaviour; he was capable of oversetting anything and anyone he came into contact with but on occasion he would demonstrate that he could go about as sweetly as they could wish. Unfortunately, there was no means for them to ascertain what aspect of Jack's behaviour would rise to the occasion. Collectively they sighed and proceeded with their preparations.

The hair was next on their agenda and Gibbs proved surprisingly adept at manoeuvring the dark strands into a moderately high coif that would not be out of place at such an event. The others peered askance from Jack's head to the older man in some confusion. Joshamee merely shrugged, saying he had helped his mother and sister when he was a youngster and had not forgotten the way of things; not so different from splicing rope aboard the Pearl when one thought on the matter. Sensibly no one picked up the conversational gambit and Elizabeth brought out some ornaments and decorations for the hair, selecting and applying a tasteful and moderate Spanish comb to support a light veil and enhance the pirate's delicately foreign features.

Jack caught Elizabeth staring at his face and wondered what new horrors were percolating her head. Whatever it was, he had no doubt he was not going to enjoy it one little bit. With her next comment, Jack snarled in disbelief and more fear than he would care to admit to. He protested that such extra attention to detail was really not needed and could they not proceed to the next stage without making more work? After all, he only had to pass for a woman for a few hours and then it would all be over and forgotten.

"You know, your eyes are very pretty, Jack. However, those brows are just a bit too rough and ragged and one of them has a scar running through it which needs to be coloured in. They really need to be properly groomed and thinned. Let me just get the tweezers and I can take care of that in no time at all." With this ominous statement, Elizabeth proceeded to do exactly as she had threatened. Gibbs and Will both looked horrified and flinched in commiseration as Jack yowled with each hair that was wrenched bodily out of his eyebrows in the young woman's relentless pursuit of the feminine ideal.

The next stage of Jack's transformation into a modest widow of independent means was the application of a bit of rouge to cheeks to hint at femininity. The eyes were emphasized by a careful lining of kohl, just enough to make the eyelashes look thicker but not straying into the heavy application Sparrow used; it was not as if he would have to protect his eyes from the sun's glare off the sea inside the Governor's mansion in the evening. Elizabeth's task was made easier by the natural shape of Jack's lips; they were full enough and quite shapely so that she only had to enhance them with a bit of colour.

"Jack, I never thought to inquire. How fast does your beard grow? We do not wish to have you suddenly sprouting whiskers by the end of the evening for that would give the game away."

"It should be all right, Elizabeth, as long as I don't have to pass for a woman longer than this evening. It will take forever for me to grow my beard back and get it long enough to braid again."

"That's good. About your beard not growing too fast for this evening, I mean. I am sorry about making you shave your beard braids and moustache but you really couldn't go to the ball with them and pass as a lady. If it's any consolation, you look quite handsome without them and I expect you'll be breaking ladies' hearts all over the Caribbean once they set eyes upon your new appearance. That is, they will once you are back in men's garments."

"Elizabeth, do you think Jack needs a beauty patch or something along those lines? He needs a bit of jewellery too, I think."

Will was quite getting into the act of turning his father's friend into a woman and he did not want to miss any detail that would complete the illusion. In a way, it was not so different from making a fine sword; it was all a matter of balance between the blade and the accoutrements. Jack was merely a different type of sword, that was all. Besides, such a golden opportunity for years of blackmail material could not be missed.

"Aye, and some sort of perfume, too."

Gibbs was also enjoying this episode and was most pleased with himself for deciding to come ashore this visit. He would never have believed this nonsense if he had not seen it for himself. He did try not to display his amusement too much, at least not when Jack was looking his way; after all, he would have to return to the Black Pearl with her captain when this frivolity was done.

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Gibbs, I had nearly forgot the scent. Jack, I have several here so you can choose the one you like best."

Elizabeth opened a small tortoiseshell case with half a dozen silver-topped blue glass bottles nestled inside the padded leaf green silk compartment. The pirate gazed at them and then at her and heaved a most pathetic sigh; he picked them up one after the other, uncapping each one to take a light sniff of the perfume within. Making his decision, he handed the bottle to Elizabeth.

"That's a very good choice for you, Jack. Light enough to not cloy and overpower everyone within smelling distance but spicy enough to be exotic. Perfectly in keeping with your new identity. Now, hold still whilst I apply a bit here and there."

Elizabeth was concentrating on her task, dabbing the perfume lightly to selected points, and was quite unaware of the heroic efforts behind her as Will and Gibbs struggled manfully not to burst out into unseemly guffaws. Jack, on the other hand, had a perfectly clear view and his snapping eyes promised retribution in the near future, once he was shut of this scheme of the strumpet in front of him.

Once the hair, make-up and scenting were completed, that left the major task of stuffing Jack into his gown. The dress was one thing but the underpinnings were something else again. He was perfectly well acquainted with the vagaries of a lady's costume and this would not be the first time he had had to don such garb, a small detail he had no intention of ever mentioning to anyone he knew on this side of the world.

They quickly popped Jack into the fine lawn shift and then Elizabeth brought out the corset, unfurling it and holding up against the lean body she was planning to insert into the torture implement. Jack looked down at the garment he really did not wish to don but knew there would be no escape for him this night. Rapidly she wrapped the corset around his torso and began to lace it loosely; once it was on him properly, they would tighten the laces to give him a more womanly silhouette.

"All right, Jack, now you need to hold on to the post whilst we're drawing up the laces. You might want to remember to breathe; it is easier if you try to breathe from the top of your lungs, not from the middle as you are most likely accustomed to do. You need to keep very straight and upright, shoulders back and head high; bending is not possible in this garment."

Elizabeth spoke with the voice of experience, not imagining that her pirate friend was already conversant with the mechanics of wearing a corset. He had no intention of enlightening her and for once very prudently kept his mouth shut.

"Joshamee, you had best help me with the laces. Will, you shall aid Jack in holding on to the support so that he doesn't fall back as we pull. All right, gentlemen, for the first part we will tighten up the strings so that they are fairly even and then we will start to work into the waist area to give Jack his proper shaping."

"You don't have to sound like you're enjoying yourself so much, Elizabeth."

Jack was a bit put out by the degree of enthusiasm his dressers were exhibiting; they were not the ones on the receiving end and, to his mind, they were becoming all too gleeful about his situation.

"Oh, do stop whining, Jack. I have to undergo this all the time and I survive it. I really do not understand why you are complaining so much."

"Aye, but you're a woman and you are accustomed to dressing in these garments daily. Thus, you are in training and it is nothing out of the ordinary for you. Unlike you, I don't run around Port Royal wearing dresses, fancy enough for the Governor's daughter or otherwise. All I can say is that that bloody Norrington had better not laugh when he claps eyes on what you've done to Captain Jack Sparrow. I'm never going to live this humiliation down, not if I live to be a hundred."

"James is one of the most courteous people I have ever known, Jack. He would never laugh at a lady in the manner you are implying. Now stop complaining and let us get on with getting you ready for the ball. We still have to get dressed, too, you know."

With that, conversation ceased, aside from grunts and moans as the corset strings were tightened in stages and Jack's lean frame was transformed into that of a tall slender woman of a certain age. He tried valiantly to get his breath and had to resort to Elizabeth's advice to breathe from the top of his lungs but still he was panting a bit by the time they were satisfied with his figure. Elizabeth observed her victim for a moment, judging how genuine the respiratory distress was; she demonstrated a small modicum of pity and loosened the strings a bit until Jack could draw breath more easily. Moving quickly, they finished garbing Jack in his fine dress of silk, the dark red of a pigeon's blood ruby draping generously over the side panniers and petticoats. They had to compromise on the shoes; luckily Jack's feet were not huge and fat. Elizabeth had managed to unearth a pair of low soft slippers and dressed them up with a fine pair of silver and diamond buckles to disguise their rather utilitarian origins.

By the time they were finished, Jack had been transformed into a rather striking woman with exotic features and dark gold skin, the shapely mouth and flashing eyes only enhancing the illusion. The corset had done its task successfully and the slim waist looked very feminine, made even more so by the panniers' stretch out to the sides. Enough of Jack's chest had been forced upward so that it appeared he had a bosom; the high cut of the bodice helped to disguise his true nature. A couple of stray chest hairs caught Elizabeth's sharp eye; tsk'ing reprovingly, she rapidly dealt with the anomalies with her tweezers. Jack's pathetic yelps made both Will and Gibbs cringe, greatly thankful they were not on the receiving end of the beautification process.

Elizabeth added lace gloves to obscure the hands, a large painted fan, tear drop pearl ear bobs and a rather wide black velvet band around the new woman's neck to hide the Adam's apple. A fine cameo was suspended from the centre of the ribbon, drawing attention away from any indications of masculinity in the wearer. A very delicate black lace veil was affixed to the Spanish comb and then tossed back very becomingly. The ensemble was completed by a lustrous black silk shawl which was draped over the shoulders and tucked behind Jack's elbows.

Jack's transformation was now complete and Elizabeth, Will and Gibbs stood back to critically view their protégée's appearance. They had not until this moment truly looked at what they were doing, intent as they had been on doing each phase and getting on to the next. What stood before them was a surprisingly elegant lady whom no one would ever believe was the notorious Captain Jack Sparrow. If Jack could but mind his manners and not let the cat out of the bag, then this enterprise might actually be accomplished. In considerable satisfaction, they took their victim to the sitting room in the private quarters above the forge and allowed him to sit down and catch his breath.

"Will, you and Joshamee stay here with Jack. I have to return to the mansion to make ready for the ball. No, on second thought, Will, it may be best if you came with me. The Commodore will be by to take you up in his carriage so you don't have to walk or take unnecessary exertions until the dancing begins. Do try to enjoy yourself and do not forget that you are supposed to be a woman, Jack."

"As if I would be forgetting that little detail, Elizabeth. It's not as if I am unaware of the corset and all the rest of the indignities you've seen fit to heap upon me."

"And here I thought you appreciated every woman you come across, until she slaps you silly, that is."

"There's a lot about me that you don't know, missy. Now get on back home and we'll be along in a while. Still cannot believe you've managed to persuade yon Commodore to run at your beck and call."

"He isn't, Jack, it's merely that he is doing me a favour. I think he wants to keep an eye on whatever we are up to tonight but I do believe he will be on good behaviour so long as you do not cause a disturbance. He all but promised and you know James is a man of his word."

"Aye, I do know. Otherwise I would not be going through all this nonsense just to go to your little party. If it was not the Yule, I would be celebrating in Tortuga properly with the rest of the crew. You owe me, Miss Swann, and I intend that you shall not be forgetting of that little matter."

Elizabeth ignored Jack's threats and mutterings; she knew perfectly well that he would at least try to behave properly and she actually did appreciate all that he was going through to accommodate her wishes. James would probably turn a blind eye to any signs that a pirate was in attendance at the ball and dinner, so long as Jack minded his manners. It seemed that this Christmas was going to be a fine one, having her friends together for once.

Now that Jack was garbed for the ball, Elizabeth and Will left for the mansion to dress and make ready to greet the guests. Gibbs quickly washed and changed into his best suit of good brown cloth with a fanciful waistcoat. He carefully trimmed his fine set of side whiskers and brushed his hair back all ship-shape. He would not be attending the ball as a guest but he would go along and find a comfortable spot in the kitchen where he would be able to have a comfortable evening chatting up the cook and her helpers as well as be in position to help Jack if need be.

For the moment, Jack was left in peace to ponder just how the Devil he had arrived in this predicament and how he was going to carry off this charade. The whole idea was preposterous but he was becoming intrigued to see if he really could pass for a lady well enough to hoodwink the society mavens of Port Royal.

He dozed for a short while, only rousing when a loud knocking was heard on the door to the street. A familiar drawling voice called out for Will and Jack had no difficulty in recognizing the voice of James Norrington. He had to admit, the man had a most appealing voice, quite warm and rich; he wondered if the fellow had the sense to make the most of that voice. Combined with his looks and station, Norrington had all the tools to snare any dolly bird he cared to.

"I'll be right there, Commodore!" Gibbs shouted as he clattered up the steps to the door. He opened it rather cautiously, knowing Norrington was expecting to see Will Turner, not himself. The naval commander was not a man Gibbs wanted to upset needlessly.

"Will you come in for a moment, sir? We're just about ready to leave for the Governor's mansion. Let me just go and help Mrs. Lincoln to the door."

Norrington frowned at Gibbs, recognizing the man and knowing he was one of the Black Pearl's crew these days. He wondered who this Mrs. Lincoln might be but had a sneaking suspicion he already knew the answer. If he judged things correctly, this was going to be a very entertaining evening and perhaps he might be able to sidestep some of the harpies who would be circling him, along with their broods of hungry baby harpies. He stepped inside and allowed Gibbs to shut the door behind him, turning in gleeful anticipation to see what had become of the infamous pirate Captain since their last encounter.

"Thank you, Mr. Gibbs. It is a pleasure to see you looking in such good health. I gather life aboard the Pearl has been good for you."

"Aye, that is has, sir. If I may say, you are looking very well tonight, yourself. If you'll just wait here a moment, I'll go fetch the lady and then we can be off to the Governor's fancy ball."

"You're coming with us then, Gibbs?"

"Yes, sir, but I won't be in the ball room with all the toffs, present company excepted, o' course. There's a very fine cook at the Governor's and I intend to be in the kitchen enjoying a bit of the bounty and Christmas cheer without the fuss and nonsense above stairs."

"Wise man. I suspect you will have by far the better of the evening."

With this pleasant exchange, Gibbs hurried along to help Jack make his debut before the Commodore. He was primed to take note of Norrington's reactions, as well as whatever mischief or disasters Jack managed to get into this night. Joshamee was quite getting into the swing of things with this transformation of Jack into Catherine. He never would have expected this turn of events but around Jack, the normal rules went flying out the window never to return.

"Come along now, Mrs. Lincoln. Your escort is here and is waiting to take you to the ball."

"You're enjoying this far too much, Josh. Let me have your arm, leastways I can see if I can make a good enough impression on the Scourge before we have to go face all those women up at the Governor's."

Jack stood and settled his skirts and wrap carefully, reaching up to check his hair and Spanish comb. Gibbs swatted his hand down, telling him to leave it alone, everything looked fine. He received a glare from flashing eyes for his censure but snickered at the current inability of his captain to make a good effort to put him in his place.

"The Commodore's not going to wait forever so get a move on so we can go and get this over with."

Gibbs held out his arm and Mrs. Lincoln took it gracefully. Together they proceeded to where Norrington was standing patiently, looking very splendid in his dress uniform and fancy hat. Jack had to admit, although he would never let Norrington know, that the man did the brocade and bullion proud and carried himself well. The uniform could look overwhelming on many men but the Commodore had the height and slim build, as well as a handsome face and striking eyes, to balance the whole picture. Thank the gods the man was tall enough, especially with the heeled shoes, wig and hat, so that Jack would look more ladylike in comparison; had he been a short bloke, Jack would have had to slouch terribly.

For his part, James kept a very serious and sober countenance when he first set eyes upon the transformed pirate, keeping the snickers and laughter buried decently inside. He decided to treat Mrs. Lincoln as what "she" appeared to be and thusly made a handsome bow and leg to her. Straightening up, he caught her dark eyes above the fan and introduced himself, making a most admirable effort to not disgrace himself or give the game away.

"Madame, allow me to make myself known to you. I am James Norrington, Commodore of His Majesty's squadron here in Port Royal. As you will have heard, I am a friend of Miss Elizabeth Swann and her fiancé, Mister William Turner. Miss Swann believed that I would be a suitable escort for you this evening to the Governor's Christmas Ball and supper. I trust that this arrangement is satisfactory to you?"

Mrs. Lincoln curtseyed politely to the naval officer before her, only one or two cracking sounds from her knees betraying that the dew was off the blossom. Rising, she lowered her fan and raised her face to the Commodore so that he could have a clear view of the damage he had wrought upon an innocent pirate.

"Thank you, Commodore Norrington. I am Mistress Catherine Lincoln, formerly of London. My late husband John was a merchant there, involved with shipping. After his passing, I found myself at loose ends and decided to see something of the world, hence my relocation to the Caribbean."

James relaxed and allowed a genuine smile of appreciation to appear on his face, the dimples and creases changing his stern hawkish appearance to one of considerable sweetness. Jack blinked several times in shock; he had had no idea the Commodore could actually smile without breaking his face asunder. His second thought was that the man was a good deal younger than he had previously thought; perhaps Norrington had reason to guard his expressions so closely.

"I must say I am suitably impressed with your efforts, Sparrow. I had no idea you would be able to carry this off, even just going so far as getting the costume and accents right. Shame about your beard, though, but it can be regrown, I trust."

Norrington had the audacity to stroll around Mrs. Lincoln as he spoke, carefully inspecting the good lady's attributes and garb, finding the effect quite flattering to Jack. He truly was impressed with the results and he was beginning to look forward to the evening's entertainment. If he kept Mrs. Lincoln handy, she would help to fend off unwanted females. Sparrow's delicate features, enhanced by his dressers, were quite a surprise; the rich red of the gown and the foreign accessories served well to compliment the rather exotic appearance.

"Well, then, Mrs. Lincoln, Mr. Gibbs, we had best be off to make our bows to His Excellency and his hostess, the redoubtable Miss Elizabeth Swann, and her young man."

"Aye, the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get out of this rig and be myself again. Never appreciated breathing as much as I am doing at this moment."

Jack felt a curious mixture of emotions just at the moment. He was pleased that the Commodore was suitably awed by the success of the transformation but resentful of the man at the same time for his having been the instigator of the plot to turn a pirate into a lady of fashion. He put his hand in its lace glove out and the Commodore obediently came about to Jack's starboard side and placed his arm beneath it, allowing Mrs. Lincoln his support as they made their way to the waiting carriage. Gibbs rapidly secured the door to the smithy and caught up to them as the lady was being assisted into the vehicle. Once the full skirts had been settled so as not to crush the fabric unnecessarily, Norrington hopped in and called up to the coachman to take them along to the Governor's mansion.

Silence reigned as they made their short journey, each man content to keep to his own thoughts. The evening was going to be a challenge but with a bit of care and attention to details, it should prove to be quite the entertaining one. Jack looked up from where he was inspecting the top of his bodice to see the Commodore gazing out the window, a small smile gracing his face, and wondered where the man's thoughts were taking him but forbore to ask. He was not in the mood for light conversation at the moment and was focussed on greeting his host innocuously, curious to see if Elizabeth's father would be able to recognize the pirate under the lace, silks and baleen.

They soon joined the line of carriages and coaches hauling the guests to the mansion; whilst they waited, Jack and Gibbs filled in the details of Mrs. Lincoln's history, preparing Norrington for questions that he should be able to answer somewhat intelligently. When it came their turn, the Commodore assisted the lady down from the vehicle and took her arm as he escorted her from the portico into the entrance to the reception area. They paused at the top of the stairs and then proceeded to the receiving line after they were introduced by the butler. Mrs. Lincoln made a fine curtsey to the Viceroy and his hostess, accompanied by Norrington's equally superb bow. Both guests straightened and the Commodore performed the proper introductions as his lady manipulated her fan most elegantly.

"Your Excellency, Miss Swann, please permit me to introduce you to Mrs. Catherine Lincoln, lately of London."

"Thank you, Commodore Norrington. Mrs. Lincoln, it is a great pleasure to meet you. Have you been in Port Royal long?"

"Thank you, Your Excellency, I am but recently arrived in Jamaica although I do have a home elsewhere in the islands."

"Ah, we shall have to have a longer conversation when time permits. For the nonce, allow me to say that it is a delight to have you in our company this evening. Please, enjoy what we have to offer."

Elizabeth smiled graciously at her guest, saying: "I am so glad you are come this evening. I do so wish to hear all about your home and what other news you may have for us here in Jamaica. If there is aught you wish, do not hesitate to make it known to me. In the meantime, as my father said, please do enjoy our hospitality. I fear you will be the envy of many of the ladies here, though, as you command the Commodore himself as your escort."

Norrington took the hand his young friend reached out to him and bowed quickly over it, raising her knuckles to his lips in a chaste salute. The quick glare up from under the black brows he sent her was not lost on Elizabeth; she knew he was perfectly aware of the silent chortling she was doing inside. However, the receiving line had many guests yet to pass and so the Commodore and his lady were sent to join the growing throng.

"Thank you, Your Excellency, Miss Swann, for your kindness in inviting me this evening."

"My thanks as well, sir, Miss Swann."

With that, the pair of conspirators moved on to allow the next guests in line to come forward. Norrington kept Mrs. Lincoln firmly secured on his arm as they moved through the crowd to the salon before the ball room, much to the dismay of the matchmaking mamas who had a fine catch in their sights. One determined woman, far too corpulent for her stays to succeed in taming her bulk, made the most advantageous use of her mass and pressed her way toward the Commodore, her hopeful candidate in tow behind her. She would not allow such a fine prize as the naval commander to go free unmolested.

Jack felt Norrington's arm tense under his hand and looked down to see the white knuckled fist be forced into submission and relax. He could feel a certain amount of sympathy for Norrington and, as he was in a benign frame of mind for the moment, Jack unfurled his fan and brought it up to shield his lower face as he let his eyes flirt with the tall man beside him. When Norrington turned and peered down in question, Jack whispered for James to play along with him. The Commodore managed to keep his face still and composed but his clear green eyes showed a sudden horrified comprehension; he knew Jack's vagaries well enough to suspect the worst and could only hope his reputation would withstand the tempest.

"Commodore! Oh, Commodore! Commodore Norrington! There you are at last, Commodore!"

The shrill voice could shatter glass and it drew the eyes of the people within ear shot; the other unattached men visibly relaxing as they saw Norrington come under attack from the community's chief vulture. A number of men and women positioned themselves to watch the entertainment about to be presented for them, most being careful not to be too obvious at what they were about. For his part, Norrington placed his free hand over the lace-covered one on his uniform sleeve, using his thumb surreptitiously to remind the lady to guard her manners, before pasting a slight smile on his face and turning to fend off the boarding party.

"Ah, Mrs. Waddlesworth. How pleasant to see you here at the Governor's Ball this year. Allow me to present Mrs. Catherine Lincoln, lately of London and now a resident of the Caribbean. Mrs. Lincoln, this is Mrs. Waddlesworth and her daughter, Miss Waddlesworth; they are the family of Mr. Homer Waddlesworth, a worthy merchant of sugar and spirits here in Port Royal."

The Commodore politely made his bow to the ladies and then stood back to allow them to perform their own curtseys as manners dictated. Jack, never one to leave a sleeping dog lie unpestered, took matters into his own hands and opened conversation with the women.

"How very lovely to meet you this evening. The Commodore has been most kind in offering to escort me here tonight as I know few gentlemen in Port Royal at this time."

"It is always a pleasure to have new faces in town. We are so remote from England that we feel quite delighted to have visitors. I am quite sure there is much to hear of London, the news and fashions and all manner of things. Will Mr. Lincoln be coming out here too?"

"No, ma'am, I am afraid that Mr. Lincoln passed on to better circumstances several years past. He was a good man and he is missed yet."

This was unwelcome news for Mrs. Waddlesworth. Had Mr. Lincoln had any sort of consideration whatsoever, the man would have kept from turning his toes up until after the Governor's Ball. The newcomer was already latched on to the Commodore, she was widowed and possibly had funds of her own and, to make matters worse, the woman was well dressed and exotically handsome with a pleasant contralto voice to finish the package. Not to mention the red gown and the foreign frippery she wore on her head. Hmph, exactly the sort of tramp to catch a sailor's roving eye. The Port Royal woman had the naval officer marked as a most suitable husband for her plain daughter and was not about to yield the battleground without a fight.

Norrington watched in horrified fascination as the ladies began to sharpen their knives. He knew he was to be the spoils in this engagement and wished nothing more than to clear away from the Waddlesworth women. Jack could fend for himself. He hoped Jack knew what he was about this evening and that his own reputation would stand the trial. Perhaps the New Year would be a good time to go out on a nice, long patrol…

"I am certain Mrs. Lincoln will be able to tell us all about the latest news and fashions from London. We are so distant here in the colony that receiving information from home takes simply forever. We cannot help but admire your gown and furnishings, ma'am, they are perfectly delightful."

Jack simpered most graciously (remembering in time to not display his dental work), just enough to make it clear that it was merely genteel politeness and as patently false as his opponent's words and played his fan to underscore his next remarks.

"I am afraid that I do not do the Governor justice but I did the best with what I could, at least until the rest of my belongings are removed to my accommodations when I find the property I desire. I had not anticipated attending such an event so soon after arriving here, otherwise I should have had a new gown made for the occasion." A charming shrug accompanied the apologetic comment, complete with a coy flourish of the extravagant fan to highlight warm brown eyes. The fan was the Governor's latest indulgence to his daughter from London and Jack made sure to display the lusty fauns and nymphs frolicking on the painted chicken skin; he was inordinately pleased with the increasing puce complexion of the woman glaring daggers at him.

The Waddlesworths, for their part, did not miss the implied message that the fine gown and accessories before them were not considered special. The other part of the message, that the hussy parading so brazenly intended to take up residence in their particular territory, did not go unremarked either. However, this was merely the opening skirmish. Determined to regain the upper hand, the elder Waddlesworth pasted an expression of kindly welcome upon her florid face, sweat trickling along the rolls and creases, causing the Commodore to cringe inwardly at the sight. The mound of sausage-shaped curls on the woman's head were enhanced by coarse tendril spiralling outward from the brow and cheeks; he could only compare the whole effect to the Gorgon of mythology but knew far better than to allow any hint of his revulsion to show, maintaining a blandly disinterested façade.

"Lah, ma'am, you put us all to the blush, despite your modesty. You have such a look of the exotic about you that one can only be envious." Privately, the speaker decided the guest should try plying her trade down at the taverns and the docks, a venue far more appropriate for the creature.

"I would be most pleased to relate any information about the latest fashions that you would wish to hear; I do understand how difficult it can be to keep up with London society when one is so very far removed."

"You say that your husband is passed on. That is most sad news. Do you have any children with you here?"

"Yes, my John was a good man but we were never blessed with sons and daughters. I would have wished otherwise but forced myself to carry on without him. Since then I have continued with some of the business enterprises he had and find myself quite comfortable, when all is said and done. I know there are many who are become widowed and have not had the relief of sound finances."

"You are most fortunate, Mrs. Lincoln. It is rare that a female is able to make her way alone in the world."

Mrs. Waddlesworth all but gnashed her grinders in frustration and pique; it was bad enough the slut was on Norrington's arm but to hear that she was a woman of independent means and unencumbered by male restraints was beyond the pale. Her daughter listened to the newcomer in some awe and no little envy but managed to recollect herself in time to school her features to avoid her mother's displeasure when the woman looked back at her.

Jack manoeuvred to turn both himself and Norrington so they presented themselves to the room in the best possible light, leaving the other women to make do with leftovers, something not likely to improve the situation. The Commodore looked over to the refreshment tables with tacit longing but knew he had to last through the present line of battle. To say that certain of the local ladies looked evilly at the vision of loveliness on his arm would hardly do them justice; Norrington had viewed more kindly expressions from deadly enemies at swords' points in the midst of a fight for a prize vessel. He glanced around and noticed they were beginning to attract attention and he decided a discreet withdrawal from the field of combat would be well advised. To that end, he covered Mrs. Lincoln's hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze to get her to look at him before he quietly mentioned that perhaps she would care to meet some other members of Jamaican society.

"Ah, you are perfectly correct, Commodore. I am being most remiss in monopolizing these ladies, keeping them from the company of the other guests this lovely evening."

"Not at all, Mrs. Lincoln. It has been our pleasure to be made known to such a charming visitor to our shores. I do hope we shall be able to continue our association in the coming days."

Mrs. Waddlesworth all but bared her back teeth in her attempt to be pleasant, disclosing as she did a set of teeth blackened by an unfortunate partiality to sugar, with the odd gap and fang lending a bit of variety to the picture. Jack plied his fan to disperse the odour of the rotting mouth away from himself and the Commodore. He had had enough of the horrid creature and decided to find other quarry with which to amuse himself elsewhere in the mansion.

"Mrs. Waddlesworth. Miss Waddlesworth. It has been such a delight to meet you but, please forgive me; there are some acquaintances I wish to greet before the dancing begins. You will excuse us, I am certain."

With that, Jack made another small curtsey and Norrington bowed as well before Mrs. Lincoln led him away to the far side of the room. The Commodore breathed a sigh of relief, noticing in his peripheral vision the increasingly crimson complexion of the harpy he had just escaped from. He might have to thank Jack after all for the deception until he looked over to where he was being herded and saw several of his officers, including Gillette and Groves, occupying a position not too distant from the windows to the patio. He knew Jack took delight in bedevilling Gillette and had done so ever since the incident of the Interceptor; Groves was less of a problem as he was still quite fascinated by the "best pirate he had ever seen."

Introductions were performed flawlessly and small talk was made, appropriately, thank goodness. They did not linger overlong with the cluster of officers before making their way into the ball room. Fortunately, Jack was with the Commodore who, as the senior officer present, kept the junior officers circumspect in their admiration of the lady. The guests had arrived and the host and hostess made their way to the room to thank all for coming and to bid the guests good cheer and much dancing this evening. With that the dances commenced and couples made their way to the centre of the floor to take up their positions. The colour and glitter was remarkable, as was the heat from the candles in the sconces and chandeliers; the doors to the gardens were thrown open to allow any wisp of cooler air to enter and to permit those in need of escape from the heat a chance to do so.

Mrs. Lincoln managed to acquire a number of gentlemen on her dance card, carefully omitting the dances she was not so well acquainted with, and did a reasonably good job on performance. Two of the lieutenants from the Dauntless vied for the lady's dance card, one of whom caused Jack's heart to speed up in anticipation of recognition from a certain matter involving the brazen theft of one of the Navy's fine brigs. It would have been far too much to expect a pirate not to take advantage of such an opportunity so Jack smiled winsomely at the tall young officer and took the arm held out to him. Side by side, the pair made their way out on to the floor and took up their positions for the country dance.

The liveliness of the dance kept conversation to a minimum but Gillette was able to express his enjoyment of having Mrs. Lincoln as his partner and carried on very pleasantly until they came to the close of the set. They returned to their positions facing each other in the line of ladies and gentlemen and made their bows in unison. Gillette straightened to his full height and gave such a charming, open smile that Jack was taken aback; he had believed the young officer to be a ponce and a stuffed shirt and now discovered that maybe there was more to the man than he had thought previously. He probably should not have been surprised as he could not see Norrington suffering a fool for one of his close subordinates. As they made their way back to the sidelines, Jack decided that he would defer from further devilling of the lieutenant until he had time to think things over. Meanwhile, Norrington kept a furtive watch on that dance, just in case Gillette made the connection between the lady he was dancing with and the pirate who had so nearly demolished single-handedly his naval career.

Two dances later, the Commodore spotted his first lieutenant stepping up to make his bow and take Mrs. Lincoln's hand for the promenade. It was plain to all that the senior lieutenant was quite taken with his partner, at least to judge by the enthusiastic smile and conversation that Groves was entertaining Mrs. Lincoln with. Norrington, even whilst keeping a weather eye out for disaster, snickered mentally at what the man would say should he discover the nature of the lady on his arm; Grove's admiration of Jack Sparrow would most likely bloom even further. The dance concluded with satisfied smiles and bows from both parties as Mr. Groves escorted Mrs. Lincoln over to where the Commodore was standing in conversation with the Governor.

"Your Excellency, Commodore. Allow me to return the delightful Mrs. Lincoln to you as I believe there are but two more dances before we adjourn to the dining hall and the lady is bespoke to one of you for the next. Mrs. Lincoln, it has been truly a delight making your acquaintance tonight. I hope we here will have the pleasure of your company again." With that, Theo bowed most elegantly to the lady and the senior officials, flashing a grin at them as he turned and made his way over to his fellow officers across the room.

The Governor smiled benignly at the younger folk and ambled along to chat with some of the older worthies from the town who were in attendance. He did his best to make sure his guests were attended to and made to feel welcome, especially as it was Christmas, after all. This left Norrington and Mrs. Lincoln on their own for the moment. Behind the rapidly plying fan, Jack's normal tanned complexion was much rosier than usual and there was a distinct line of perspiration running down his cheek. Norrington silently fished out a clean handkerchief and folded it into a small packet before passing it unobtrusively to the lady. Jack stared at the linen and then up at James' face, the question perfectly obvious. Norrington took pity on the pirate and bent down to speak quietly in his ear.

"You are beginning to drip, Catherine, and I thought you may wish to dab your face while you have a respite from all the dancing in which you have been indulging this evening."

Jack/Catherine glared at the green eyes, just daring the man to show one instant of smugness, but Norrington was well practiced in maintaining an unassuming expression and let not a trace of the hilarity show on his handsome features. In fact, the face he presented was all attention and care for the lady under his escort. Jack flashed his eyes one more time at the Navy blighter and then delicately patted the droplets from his face and neck, more relieved than he cared to admit for the man's kindly offer. He was quite accustomed to the heat of the Caribbean but decked out in all the yard goods, plus the corset, plus the dancing and the candles and the overheated rooms, he was somewhat amazed at the fact he was still standing. For that matter, he was perplexed by Norrington's ability to appear relatively comfortable in the weight of uniform and all the frippery; must be something bred into the man himself as Jack could see a great many sweating faces around them.

"Thank you, Commodore. You are too kind. I am afraid that I am not yet fully acclimated. London is so much cooler than Jamaica."

"Would you prefer to step out on to the terraces for a breath of air? It is a bit cooler there, away from all the people and the candles and heat."

"I must say that that is a most appealing suggestion, sir, but do you think your reputation will be able to withstand such a turn?" Catherine flirted her fan most becomingly, the edges obscuring most of her face but permitting the eyes and brows to say much.

Norrington merely smiled sedately and took the lady's hand on his arm, leading her out to the broad patio overlooking the garden and the sea. He was quite right, the on shore breeze was much more comfortable and he soon found a stone bench that Jack could sit on for a moment. James elected to remain standing while they watched a number of other couples and individuals seek refreshment from the heat in the mansion's ball room and assembly areas. Jack noticed certain goings-on in the more shadowy nooks and crannies and he could hear distinct giggles and rustlings down in the gardens below the terrace; under other circumstances he would not have hesitated to go exploring to spy more closely. Failing that, he plied the large fan vigorously which actually did help cool him down and after a while his colour and breathing had returned to normal. By this time, Elizabeth and her besotted swain had come out in search when they had noticed neither Sparrow nor Norrington was visible among the guests inside. A Jack out of sight was mischief waiting to happen… or a disaster, depending on which way the dice fell.

"Ah, there you are, Catherine. We were looking for you inside to no avail and decided to seek you out here. Are you well, my dear?" Elizabeth was all kind solicitude, not to mention somewhat apprehensive of the mayhem that Jack could bring on with so little effort.

"She is perfectly well, Elizabeth, merely we stepped out for a breath of cooler air and a chance to rest from all the dancing and performance. The climate here in Jamaica being so much warmer than London, especially at this season, does take some time to become accustomed to."

"Oh, that is quite right, James. It's been such a long time since we arrived here that I had quite forgot what a contrast it is to where we came from."

"Do not be distressed, my dear. The Commodore and the other gentlemen have all been so pleasant and quite delightful. It has been such a pleasure tonight that I cannot begin to thank you for all the trouble to which you have gone upon my behalf."

The fan coyly hid most of Mrs. Lincoln's striking features, leaving only her eyes to proclaim precisely how thankful the pirate was for the indignities the chit had heaped upon him. He did not forget Will's part in the fiasco either and glowered at the young man for good measure, manfully refraining from poking the naval officer when a soft snigger escaped. The three conspirators turned toward Norrington to witness the man successfully fighting back an attack of the giggles.

When he noticed the glares, Norrington apologized, saying only that he had just thought of what Mr. Gillette would say if he knew the truth of the nature of the lady he had been dancing with earlier. Elizabeth snorted most unladylike at the blatant untruth before she and Will turned away to return to the ball room. As they turned, Will rolled his eyes at the other "couple" and grinned, white teeth flashing for an instant, at the absurdity of it all.

"Well, Catherine, the gigue has finished so it is time for us to return for the last dance before our meal. I trust you are up to the task?"

Jack sighed pathetically and used the Commodore's fancy coat sleeve to haul himself back to his feet, swaying as he fought the weight of his garments for an instant. Norrington stood fast and allowed the indignity, steadying the pirate until they were able to move back to the ball room. There was only the one dance remaining until they could sit down for their meal and have a bit of a rest. Naturally, the Commodore was on Mrs. Lincoln's card for the dance preceding the move to the dining area as was fitting for her escort, much to the Commodore's amusement. He kindly led his lady out on to the floor and they took up their positions in the long line; fortunately the dance was a stately one that Catherine could manage without being overtaxed. James was rather impressed with the lady's competence on the dance floor and actually said so, surprising both parties with his sincerity.

"A compliment, James? Whatever is the world coming to?" Jack could not resist teasing the man as they swirled around the floor, his usual baritone raised to a pleasant contralto for the evening.

"Whatever you do, don't smile with all those teeth showing, Catherine. As for your dancing expertise, I have no idea how you come to have it but at least this is one dance I may enjoy with no fear of being compromised or laid siege to."

"I did notice the predatory eyes upon you. It must be all that lace and brocade drawing them, you know, bit like flies to a ripe carcass. Well, that as well as the fact that you are single, male, apparently possessed of sufficient wings and limbs, have position and, above all else, are still above the ground."

"Goes with the territory, I'm afraid. My junior officers breathe vast sighs of relief when I become the target of choice but I have had a good deal of experience in avoiding parson's mousetrap."

"By the by, you're quite a good dancer, for all you're such a stick."

"Thank you, I think. This dance is about to end. Shall we go along and give Elizabeth and Will a fright? I think the pair of them deserve it for this escapade."

"Aren't you forgetting your part in my humiliation?"

"Nonsense. You do not appear humiliated in the least and the bath has improved the atmosphere about you greatly, I might add."

Flashing dark eyes swept over Norrington's face, easily noting the tiny signs of smugness therein. There was more to the tale of Elizabeth's desire to have Jack Sparrow at the ball than was on the surface. Jack would have to investigate more closely; he was aware the Navy lad was an intelligent man and an experienced campaigner, unlike the whelp or the spitfire, and likely had had his share of pranks as a junior officer. Suspicions abounded but were not proven.

With that, the pair of plotters made their way over to where the guests were assembling to enter the dining hall for supper. The Commodore's status placed him after the Governor and the lady he was escorting and behind Elizabeth as the hostess and her fiancé. Mrs. Lincoln most prettily rested her lace-covered fingers on the Commodore's elegant blue sleeve as they made their way to their places. When all were present, Swann called out for the company to be seated. Jack was safely penned between Will and James for the dinner; his fellow conspirators hopeful he would mind his manners and keep his conversation properly directed to the gentlemen on either side of him.

The meal went off safely. The courses were perhaps not so many as in England but the Governor's superb cook was able to show off some of the fruits and delicacies those in London society would not have had access to. The delicate turtle soup and braised vegetables were excellently prepared and presented and the later courses maintained the high standard. The roast fowl glistened with fruity glazes and the savoury beef selections were done to a turn. The dessert offerings were lavishly sweetened with the sugar so abundant in the islands and the cook had even gone so far as to spin a fanciful creation in caramelized sugar, the airy frothy strands rising to remarkable heights over the puff pastries mounded on the silver platters. Mrs. Lincoln's impromptu godparents and escort were thankful to see that the lady's table manners were quite unremarkable; her handling of knife and fork being most neat and tidy.

"Catherine, please do try the escalloped veal. It is particularly good." Elizabeth passed along the suggestion with a charming smile, Will leaning back a trifle to allow the ladies to converse for the moment. While Catherine's attention was engaged to her left, Norrington turned aside to chat to the lady seated next to him, a pleasant matron whose doting husband was in attendance beside her.

"Mrs. Halliburton, you are looking very well tonight. The Yule season must be quite entertaining for your youngsters, this is what, their third Christmas here in Jamaica, is it not?"

"Thank you, Commodore, it is most kind of you to recall my family. Yes, they have adapted very well to the islands and I suspect they do not remember England with any great fondness, particularly the dull grey winters there. I find it difficult myself now to wish for that climate, aside from missing certain things, such as a touch of snow or the freshness of the apple blossoms in Kent in spring."

"How do they do in their studies, ma'am? It is difficult enough to keep my midshipmen at their books so I can only imagine what is needed for one's children."

Mrs. Halliburton smiled, replying: "They are scamps at times but we were able to find a very good tutor for them who has found means to make learning interesting for them and who is young enough himself to take the boys out for nature walks and explorations when they need to expend their energies. I see you have found a very charming lady to escort this evening, sir. It is always best to come to these events well prepared, is it not?"

She glanced across and down the table to where the Waddlesworths were seated, smiling politely at the elder woman for an instant. The Commodore and Mr. Halliburton looked at the lady's pointed expression and then at each other, neither man missing the barb or the truth in the delicately pointed insinuation. The two men grinned broadly in good humour, each vastly relieved to be safely marked as taken for the night.

"Mr. Halliburton, you have the great good fortune to have married a most sensible and charming woman. I believe you are the envy of many a man hereabouts."

"I quite agree, Commodore. However, you yourself have brought a most intriguing companion this evening and one who is new to the company as well. It is always good to see new faces in our social circles."

The long meal drew to a close and the guests began to make their way back to the ballroom to continue their dancing, gossiping and pursuit of the opposite sex. Norrington considered the lady seated next to him and realized that the heat was taking its toll on the cosmetics and there was also a very faint hint of darkness beginning to show where Jack's beard was regrowing. Fortunately, it was a sparse beard but definitely not one most ladies would wish to be seen sporting and the candlelight aided in obscuring it from all but the most suspicious onlooker. As he looked more closely, Norrington could see signs of growing fatigue in the pirate's posture; the corset may have aided in keeping Jack vertical but it was taking its toll on the man's body. Definitely it was time to set in motion a discreet withdrawal from the gala.

The Commodore rose and took his companion's elbow as the footman assisted with her chair. Together they joined Elizabeth and Will for a quick conversation away from inquisitive ears. There were several more dances to complete and then they would be able to make their exit, having fulfilled their social obligations. An abrupt withdrawal likely would attract more attention than they wished, Mrs. Lincoln being one of the more noteworthy attendées at the dance.

They strolled back to the ballroom with the Halliburtons, exchanging pleasantries and casual remarks. When they reached the floor, Mr. Halliburton turned to the newcomer and requested the pleasure of having the next dance with her, if the Commodore would be so kind as to permit it. Norrington had no difficulty with the request and promptly handed over Mrs. Lincoln to the gentleman, on the condition that he would then be free to dance with Mrs. Halliburton.

"Commodore, you are without doubt the most striking man here this evening and I will have to watch out for the sharpened knives of certain ladies present."

"You flatter me, ma'am. It is I who am the fortunate one here and thankful to your husband for allowing me the pleasure of dancing with his lovely wife."

"Yes, Geoffrey is very kind and, just at the moment, is drawing quite a few eyes on account of his partner. You have certainly given our little society a breath of fresh air tonight which it sorely needs. I do, however, suspect there to be a degree of intrigue and plotting taking place under our eyes."

"Plots and intrigue? I would not begin to know about such things, especially at the Governor's Christmas Ball."

"You, sir, I suspect, are just as guilty. The looks on Elizabeth's and Will's faces, not to mention your Mrs. Lincoln's charming visage, have been subtle but I am of the opinion that there are goings on that would make for fascinating telling, should the conspirators choose to relate the tale to certain other parties. Do you not agree, Commodore?"

"You are much too observant but perhaps, someday, we will be able to include you and Mr. Halliburton in the details. For tonight, I am afraid that I must regretfully decline the invitation, as much as it pains me for I believe both of you have a lively sense of the ridiculous and would much enjoy the tale."

The two dancers smiled in smug satisfaction at knowing something the rest of the assembly, particularly the gossip mongers, were unaware of. They completed the set and returned to the other couple to restore Mrs. Lincoln to the Commodore and Mrs. Halliburton to her doting husband. Together, the couples exited the dance floor and made their way to the refreshment tables where they partook of cool drinks. Norrington tasted the rum punch and blinked at the strength of the drink and kindly poured a cup for the pirate who was definitely beginning to wilt.

"Here, my dear, I believe you will find this most reviving and to your tastes."

Thankfully, Jack took the glass and quickly drank down the entire serving without seeming to pause for breath. Once he had actually swallowed, his eyes opened wide in amazed relief and he held out the glass for his escort to refill. After two more brimming glasses, he was almost inclined to forgive Lizzie for this charade but it would take more than rum and fruit punch to make him that lenient.

Norrington contemplated the glass he held and cocked an eyebrow as he surreptitiously checked on the whereabouts of his two senior lieutenants, known pranksters both. He had a very good notion that they were likely the ones who had spiked the drink, although there were other junior officers and young men present who could have done the deed. He only desired that the culprits kept a low profile and did not disrupt the Governor's event unduly; he had actually enjoyed the evening and had no wish to discipline his men for having high spirits. However, the time had come to take his companion and make a discreet withdrawal.

"Governor Swann, Miss Swann, Mr. Turner, it has been a most enjoyable evening here. The dancing and dinner have been as delightful as always. Unfortunately, I am afraid that duty calls and I must take my leave of you now. I will see Mrs. Lincoln to her accommodations before attending to my tasks."

"Surely, Commodore Norrington, the Admiralty cannot wish you to work on Christmas. It would be most welcome if you could see your way to staying a while longer; there are still many who wish to have the opportunity of dancing with you."

Norrington and the other three all looked askance at the Governor after that statement; James saw the sly twinkle in his older friend's eyes and frowned slightly, knowing the comment had been made quite deliberately to needle him. He would have to take care and get Jack out of the mansion before Swann realized just who was masquerading at his ball.

"I am afraid that the Admiralty is a demanding task master and I am but one of its servants, sir."

"Ah well, you know what you must do, James. Can't truly say that I blame you; at least you are leaving enough of your officers behind to keep the ladies happy."

"Yes, they always enjoy the opportunity to make merry and can usually be counted upon to supply a certain degree of entertainment. If they are in their usual form this evening, one officer less should not be of great consequence."

"In other words, you propose to throw them to the lions whilst you make your own escape, James."

"Without question, sir."

The two men exchanged slyly satisfied looks, both sets of eyes smugly knowing. The Commodore had fulfilled his social obligations and the Governor was perfectly aware that the younger man was a favoured quarry. Occasionally Weatherby exercised a bit of match making for his own entertainment; however, he was careful to keep his machinations undiscovered, one of the benefits of much practice dealing with the Court of St. James. He was genuinely fond of James Norrington and still regretted not having him for a son-in-law.

"Commodore, I am so pleased you and Mrs. Lincoln were able to come tonight. It has made me very happy to have had you both here to enjoy the festivities."

Will smiled quietly, his brown eyes laughing at the delicate manoeuvring taking place in front of him. He added his own thanks, scrupulously taking the lace gloved hand in his and bowing over it.

"Mrs. Lincoln, it has been a pleasure making your acquaintance this evening. I hope we shall be seeing you again during your visit to Port Royal."

"Thank you, Mr. Turner. It is a distinct possibility. Miss Swann, it has indeed been a great pleasure." The lady turned to her host, "Your Excellency, my gratitude for your generosity and kindness in allowing a widow an evening of Christmas delight. I have enjoyed immensely both the company and the dancing."

Weatherby Swann took the lady's hand and bowed most kindly over it as she made a fairly deep curtsey to him in thanks. He continued to hold her hand as he looked admiringly at the fine picture she made, causing apprehension to rise in the younger people around him.

"I must say your manner of dress suits you most flatteringly, ma'am, not so insipid as many women would wear. Indeed, a most charming picture."

As he turned to make his way back to the ballroom, Swann made a very quiet aside to Mrs. Lincoln, "…and much more presentable than that day on the ramparts, eh, Captain?"

Swann did not trouble to wait for a response but ambled along to chat with his other guests, all the while perfectly aware of the shock he was leaving in his wake. The four remaining behind stared at his back for a moment before they recollected themselves; Jack having some difficulty catching his breath due to his corset. Shaking his head in disbelief, Will left to tell Gibbs it was time to leave, eager to relate to the older sailor what had taken place. Elizabeth went with Norrington and Sparrow to remove to the garden for a breath of cooler air and to give herself a moment to recover from her father's unexpected perspicacity. It was all too simple a matter to take the Governor's good nature and comfortable fussing at face value and even she forgot that there was more than appeared on the surface. She paused on the way to tell a footman to have the Commodore's carriage brought around to the portico and rejoined her friends.

As they made their way through the garden, taking the lesser paths and avoiding other guests and inquisitive ears, they spoke quietly about the evening and the success in carrying it off. Norrington was quite pleased by the whole deception and had not been unduly surprised or concerned when Swann had overset the conspirators with his last remark. They came around to the portico where they were rejoined by both Will and Gibbs just as the carriage was brought around.

"Well, Missy, I hope this was enough to please you. For the record, this is the first and last time you will ever be doing this to me. If you want me present at other times, you will have to find a better way to do it."

"But, Jack, you look absolutely wonderful. And your performance…I had no idea you were capable of carrying it off so well. The dancing, the mannerisms, the table manners, everything was perfectly done. Who are you, Jack? I keep wondering but you have so many sides I have no idea who is the real person."

Elizabeth was like a dog with a bone over the puzzle her pirate friend presented her with. He truly was an enigma. Will knew his father's comrade would only reveal what he wished and no amount of cajoling would alter that fact; certainly he was curious himself but he would wait for whatever crumbs or hints came his way. Gibbs may have had some idea or knowledge but he would never say anything either.

"I must admit to wondering why you would go to such lengths and to such subterfuge, Sparrow, although you have actually managed to carry it off remarkably well, all things considered. I do have one small question to ask you, something which has been puzzling to me since the onset of this charade."

"What question would that be, Norrington?"

"Why ever did you think you needed to shave off your beard and dress as a woman to attend this ball? I would have thought tidying up and coming as a merchant of some sort would have sufficed perfectly well without all the other nonsense."

Elizabeth stared hard at her old friend; she was beginning to think she had been played by him even more so than she had first suspected. The other three gaped in shock at the Commodore, the naval man maintaining a politely enquiring expression, a suspicious element in itself.

"James, you told me yourself that Jack was not supposed to be recognizable and that if you saw him as a pirate you would arrest him on the spot."

"Elizabeth, my dear, I never said anything about him having to appear as a woman." Norrington replied with the most limpid and innocent look on his face, absolute confirmation he had indeed manipulated the situation. The rapid bob of his eyebrows as he stared into her eyes just gave final proof to his perfidy.

"You…you…you deceitful wicked man. You led me on; reminding me about the uniform I borrowed aboard the Dauntless and going on about not having known pirates running about the town." The outraged expression on Elizabeth's face was priceless; Jack now gasping in stays-enhanced shock while the other men watched in awe and budding glee.

Will and Gibbs had kept silent during this exchange, neither wishing to draw attention to himself. It was much too hilarious hearing how Jack had been duped or coerced into wearing women's garb and shaving off his treasured beard. Joshamee knew the rest of the crew would be hearing this little yarn with all its embellishments as soon as he was back aboard the Pearl and safely away from Jack's temper. For his part, Will could only shake his head in disbelief at his Navy friend and mentor; he decided that Norrington as a midshipman and young officer must have committed his share of mischief to conceive of such a plan.

For his part, Jack could not decide what to do first. He knew Norrington had manipulated Elizabeth and deliberately misled her. It was Elizabeth's scheme to have him as a guest at her ball and she was the one who had insisted he appear as a lady, not a pirate, so most of the blame should go to her. On another level, he had to appreciate the true sneakiness on the part of the naval stick; just looking at all that brocade and frippery one would never have thought the man had it in him to manipulate so well. In a way, he still owed Norrington for the Interceptor's loss even though it had not been a plan of his for that to happen. He attempted to draw in a deeper breath to make his own protestations but his corset rigidly prevented the action thus making Jack's decision for him: the thrice-cursed corset had to be got rid of before he could do anything else.

"Commodore, help me up into the carriage if you please. Miss Swann, it has been an unforgettable evening. Permit me to call upon you whilst I am in Port Royal. Mr. Turner, will you be requiring a ride back to your quarters? Yes? Then, Mr.Gibbs, please join us and we will take you wherever you wish to be dropped off. Good evening and thank you, Miss Swann, for all your efforts on my behalf. Farewell."

The Commodore made his farewells just as rapidly and popped smartly into the carriage, calling out to the coachman to take them down into the town. He was no fool and had no intention of lingering until Elizabeth regained her bearings, far better to make his escape now. It had been fun and the evening had proven quite amusing all told but it was definitely time to make his escape. He looked at the other three and, perfectly straight faced, winked at Jack.

Fin

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