Listen to your heart, an inuyasha fanfic

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STORY? -- I have absolutely no idea. Somehow my story got deleted on Christmas. I am unsure what the cause was, but I am reposting it now. Sorry to everyone who liked this story, and thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm afraid all the reviews were lost with the glitch.

A\N: Well it's 11:28 pm where I live and I really need to get off the computer now so I'm just going to say a few quick things. This is a song fic (my first so please be nice!) Based on the song "Listen to your Heart" By Roxette and\or D.H.T. (Whichever one you prefer) They own the song, not me, just like Rumiko Takahashi owns the Inuyasha characters. they are the people who make money off of them. I do not. They are the only ones with any claims to the lyrics and\or characters. The story, however, belongs to me.

Note-- this is not an actual scene from the Inuyasha series (at least I don't think it is) so don't try to figure out if it's from any particular episode or not.

DISCLAIMER - I OWN NOTHING! -- well, the story is mine, but the rest of it belongs to Rumiko Takashi and Roxette\D.H.T.. I make no money off of it.

Listen to your heart

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark

Kagome felt tears well up in her eyes as she stood on the cliff face, staring off into the distance, the wind blowing her hair about her like a velvet blanket, and she didn't bother pushing it back behind her ears.

She had seen them together. Again.

Inuyasha and Kikyo.

Naraku had gotten her in danger once again, and, once again, Inuyasha had run off to help her. He had told her before that he no longer truly felt a love for Kikyo, more of an obligation to her, yet that didn't explain why he continually embraced her, held her in his arms and pledged himself to her, promised to keep her safe.

He should just let her be killed already so that she would stop interfering!

Kagome sighs and looks down as little bits of rock crumble from beneath her feet into the valley far below. She knows he can't do that. Kikyo was, after all, his first love. She had heard that first loves were always the most important, but she didn't know for sure, having never had a second love yet. For her it was only Inuyasha. Yet she had an idea, when she remembered what had happened between him and Kikyo, and imagined how she would feel if she and Inuyasha went through the same.

If she were in Inuyasha's position she would do the same. If she were in Kikyo's, however, she would have to let Inuyasha go. Because she knew the pain it caused Inuyasha whenever he saw the miko, and she could never bear to put him through that. She loved him too much.

So why did she always feel so lost and confused...?

Somewhere in the distance, she heard the faint but familiar voice calling her name. 'Kagome!'

Listen to your heart when he's calling for you
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

'Kagome!' Inuyasha said, closer to her now, and she waited until he was only a few feet away before turning toward him, the setting sun backlighting her and painting her hair with streaks of auburn and rust, highlighting Inuyasha's while colouring Inuyasha's a pale yellow-gold not unlike his eyes as she stared at him with veils of tears in her own eyes, threatening to drop down at any moment.

This gave the hanyou pause as he stared at her, his golden eyes illuminated with red from the sun like liquid fire as he let the hand he had reached out drop to his side, his face grim and apologetic but not entirely remorseful.

'Kagome.' He said again, quieter this time, and Kagome trembled slightly as her own name rang through her head, bringing up memories off all the other times he had said it like that-- usually after Kikyo had come and upset them again, or when he was planning on telling her to go home.

Maybe she should just go home. After all, if Inuyasha could not stand to be with her and only her without running off to save Kikyo all the time, why should she bother even staying with him?

And then she remembered Kouga... and Hojo... Inuyasha put up with them (though not very well) and she never exactly sent them away either. Though she never did go running after them the way he did Kikyo...

Maybe Inuyasha simply didn't trust her enough? Maybe he thought she would be better off with one of them and needed Kikyo as security, just to be certain...?

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide yea
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams

Of course, sometimes (that usually only existed deep in her thoughts) she wondered what life would be like if Kikyo had just stayed dead, and if Kouga would get together with Ayame and Hojo would finally get the message and move on with his life. It was incredibly difficult. She had grown fond of Kouga's little intrusions (though more because she got to see Inuyasha get heatedly and very angrily jealous and protective of her than because of actually wanting to see the wolf himself) and didn't know how she would react if he just suddenly stopped making them.

Inuyasha would probably be a lot happier.

But would he leave Kikyo?

She mentally sighed and shook her head, not wanting Inuyasha to know what she was thinking about. If he knew how much he was hurting her with this, he would probably do what he thought was best: He would send her home.

Kagome froze up slightly as a slight fear rose up in her at that thought: Would Inuyasha really send her home?

He had done it once before, grabbed the shards and just sort of shoved her into the well, forcing her to her own time with no way back. She had been terrified then, too, that she would never see him again.

That had been after a battle with Sesshomaru.

The next time he didn't exactly send her back, but it had been the unspoken sort of agreement between them and she had gone (with the shards) back to her own time, knowing Inuyasha would never again come and get her.

And it had ached.

To know that she would never be with him, see him again had ached in a way that nothing she had ever thought could possibly, and it had suddenly hit her then why Inuyasha went after Kikyo. Because of that ache. And if he had thought his lover had betrayed, killed him, then come back to life only to be killed again and then find out it was all a trap... well, she couldn't even imagine how much worse the ache must have been for him.

And it was then that she had understood him.

And she had promised to stay with him. Forever. Even though she had known the consequences... so why was she having second thoughts now that those consequences had come to the forefront?

'Kagome.' Inuyasha said again, still staring at her with those eyes of his, and she looked up and met his gaze, and she could see the ache there. And it was not just for Kikyo. He ached for her as well. He wanted to make everything right for her, wanted to make her happy, see her smile and have her laugh-- as she wanted him-- but he didn't know how to do that without breaking her heart at the same time.

And she realised that he was just as lost as she was.

He looked away suddenly, eyes downcast and his strange ears drooping slightly to either side as he looked down at some apparently incredibly interesting piece of ground somewhere to his right, and Kagome felt her grief grow.

She wanted Inuyasha to be hers and hers alone, and yet she knew when she agreed to stay with him that could never be. Now, by letting her actions hurt her at the slightest show of the consequences being paid for, she was tearing him up inside as well.

And he was already torn enough.

By being so selfish, she had only made it worse...

'Inuyasha I...' She said, trailing off as his eyes moved back to her and all ability to form coherent speech left her. She wanted to tell him what she had seen in his eyes, what she felt, what she knew and only now understood... how much she wanted him and only him... how she finally understood.

"I can't compete with Kikyo, because, after all, I'm still alive." Her own voice rang in her head, and her eyes narrowed slightly. 'I may not be able to ever give the same sacrifice Kikyo did. But that doesn't mean that I can't bring him as much happiness-- that I can't love him as much!' She thought with determination back at herself, then seemed to realise that this conversation was taking place in her mind-- not outside with Inuyasha where it needed to be-- and that Inuyasha seemed to think that she was glaring at him, because he was looking suddenly incredibly depressed and sad.

And there are voices that want to be heard.
So much to mention but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind.

'I'm sorry, Kagome.' He said quietly, and Kagome blinked, momentarily stunned by his words. Was he actually... apologizing?

Then she realised he was starting to turn, to walk away, and she didn't want that because he didn't get it yet, didn't get that she wasn't angry at him, that she was sad but would get over it, because now she got it, she finally got it! And she didn't want him to leave without understanding that.

'Inuyasha wait!' She said, moving forward and catching the sleeve of his haori, causing him to stop but not look at her, and a faint urge to sit him welled up inside of her, though she barely noticed it and it was easily suppressed. She did that enough on regular fights. This was not the time for it. This was the time for making things right.

But her mind seemed uninclined to let her form the words she needed to say, fumbling around and trying to get her to express all her thoughts at once, so she mentally yelled at it to "shut up!" and listened to the only part of her that seemed still able to rationalize: Her heart.

'Inuyasha.' She said quietly, moving around to stand in front of him. He kept his head bent, bangs falling over his eyes and shadowing them from her view. That didn't matter. She didn't need to see his eyes. She didn't need to see what he felt. She just needed him to feel.

Feel as she gently leaned forward to express all she felt in one small, almost chaste, but incredibly deep kiss that was over almost as soon as it had begun, leaving her to draw back from him, her hands still where they had recently taken up residence on his shoulders as a means to stop her falling when she leaned up to kiss him as he slowly turned confused golden orbs onto her.

And she smiled.

Listen to your heart when he's calling for you
Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.

'Kagome...' He said quietly, confusion lacing his every word, and she knew he was slightly embarrassed by the kiss, having not experienced very many before, but she, perhaps, should have been even more so because that was her first kiss-- and she was the aggressor! Yet somehow she didn't feel any embarrassment from it at all because it had done what words alone could not: It had explained.

Maybe not in an entirely detailed manner, but she could tell by the look in Inuyasha's gaze that his confusion was not why she had done it, but more why she had chosen to do it and the action itself. There was no confusion about whether she had forgiven him or understood or not.

His eyes suddenly glittered slightly, and Kagome realised that there were incredibly faint traces of tears in them as he opened his mouth to say something-- to question her perhaps. Not wanting him to express an emotion he would later hate and think himself weak for expressing, she gently pressed a finger to his lips, blinking away the last of her own tears and smiling gently at him.

'I love you Inuyasha.' She said quietly. 'And no one-- not even Kikyo-- is ever going to change that.'

Inuyasha blinked a couple of times, and then a small, timid smile of his own spread across his face, his eyes expressing what his mouth could not, and her own smile widened and softened at the same time as she reached down and gently gripped his hand.

'Come' she said, lacing her fingers with his own 'the others will be getting worried.' Inuyasha felt the tug on his hand, and allowed her to lead him back to where Miroku, Sango, Kirara and Shippo were waiting, though neither spoke on the way there, and they would not explain what had happened when they got back.

It was something that was meant only for them. And it could not be explained to others.

Other's didn't know what they felt inside, what their hearts told them, and only those who could hear what their hearts had said would understand what had happened. Because only their hearts understood each other.

Listen to your heart mhmmmmm
I don't know where your going and I don't know why
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

END

(Seriously, this fic is not going to be continued!)