A/N : I have had this idea in my head for a seriously long time, but just never got around to writing it. I have seen several attempts by other authors to write a BtVS version of 10 Things I Hate About You, but none of them went exactly how I wanted them too. Solution? I had to write my own version, so here it is. A BtVS/AtS AU Fantasy All Human Spuffy version of one of my favourite movies! Hope you all like it!
Title : How Do I Loathe Thee?
Rating : PG-13
Summary : Having had a couple of bad experiences with men in the past, Joyce Summers is harsh on her daughters when it comes to dating. Dawn desperately wants to date, but she can't unless someone daring enough can be found to ask out her tempestuous sister, Buffy...
Disclaimer : Characters all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The basic plot line is from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, based on the Shakespeare play Taming of the Shrew. I own nothing of any interest to anyone.
Chapter 1 - This Is Sunnydale High
"Another year, another boredom-fest" Buffy sighed as she walked through the doors of Sunnydale High School, her books hugged to her chest.
"Yeah but Senior year" her friend reminded her as she strutted along beside her in her trademark black and revealing attire, "it has to be better than the previous, right?"
"Same building, same narrow-minded teachers, same ass-holes running around the halls" the blonde listed as a pair of idiots chased each other almost knocking them over as they reached their lockers, "What's different about this year?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
"See, that's what I love about you, B" her friend smiled sarcastically, "Your optimism"
"Give me something to look forward to Faith and I'll do it" she assured her friend, "but right now, I'm not seeing anything impressive" Buffy declared, slamming her locker door shut as the bell rang for first class.
"Then open your eyes" Faith told her, hitting her across the shoulder to get her attention on the guy that was hovering at the Principal's door.
Buffy glanced across at the man who had caught Faith's attention, not expecting to be impressed, after all as good friends as they were the two of them really didn't have the same taste in men. This guy was a shining example of Faith's type and not Buffy's, all black leather and bleached blond hair so bright it could blind the average person.
"Come on" Buffy rolled her eyes as she tugged on her friends sleeve, "We should be in Biology by now"
"Think he needs a study buddy?" Faith said with a suggestive look as they walked away. Buffy just laughed.
"Mr Jackson" Principal Wood sighed as the boy strolled into his office without a care.
"It's Spike" the bleached blond told him as he took a seat and made to prop his feet up on the desk, spotting Wood's scathing look he changed his mind.
"Right, Spike" the Principal nodded, opening up the file on his desk, "For a guy who seems to have a love for black, it's quite a colourful record you've got here" he commented, noting the younger man's jeans, boots, T-shirt, and leather coat all in the same non-colour. If he didn't know better he'd say he was wearing black eye-liner too.
"What can I say?" Spike smirked, picking at his black nail polish, "I'm just not a big fan of High School, and it's not a huge fan of mine"
"Doesn't have to be that way, Spike" Principal Wood shook his head, "Before your so-called rebellion, seems to me you had the makings of a good student" he said, studying the pages in front of him, "Decent grade point average, good attendance, that's the type of student we want here at Sunnydale High, kind of guy who's life will go somewhere after graduation, somewhere other than down the nearest drain"
Spike rolled his eyes, clearly bored and uninterested.
"You know how many times I've heard this speech?" he sighed, "How many schools, how many principals, all with the same yawn-inducing lecture?"
"No, Spike, this isn't like all those other lectures" Robin said smartly, getting up from his seat and coming to sit on the edge of the desk in front of Spike, "See, this time it's different. This time you're going to listen" he said firmly, almost threatening the boy, "I will not tolerate fighting, vandalism, tardiness, absence, none of things you're famous for" he told him, "but I'm not big with the expelling either. I have more interesting ways to make your life difficult" he said with a hint of a smile, "What do you say?"
"Well" Spike considered, getting up from his seat when the bell rung, "I do love a challenge" he smirked, "But I really think I should be getting to my first class now" he told the dumb-founded principal, pulling a map of the building from inside his coat, "Seems they don't like tardiness here, strict punishments for all y'know" he was laughing as he swung out of the office and Principal Wood slammed his fist into the desk out of pure frustration.
He'd known that boy was going to be trouble when he'd met him and his Uncle, the only relative the boy had left who could stand to be around him. The last thing Robin Wood needed was another bad influence on the easily led populace of Sunnydale High. He was seriously starting to wonder why he ever took this job here.
"Er, hi?" a nervous little voice said from the door, "I was looking for Principal Wood? I'm new here"
"Oh of course, our other new student" the teacher smiled, thanking his lucky stars that at least this guy should be easily dealt with. He was smart, well dressed, and according to his paperwork pretty much a geek, but at least he wouldn't be pulling any fire alarms or smoking behind the gym, and for that Principal Wood was grateful.
"Take a seat, Andrew" he told the boy who did just that, wondering what life was going to be like in this new school. He had a short discussion with the Principal about his classes and such, before a tap in the door signalled another student wanted in.
"Hey, Principal Wood" a goofy looking brunette boy grinned as he stumbled through the door, the skateboard attached to his backpack banging against the wall and chipping the paintwork.
"Xander Harris" Principal Wood greeted, "What can I do for you?"
"No, sir, it's what can I do for you?" Xander smiled, "I had a free period this morning and Miss Calendar said you needed someone to show a couple of new kids around?"
"Ah" Robin nodded, "It's actually just one new student, the other... well, he seems to think he can find his own way" he sighed, "Andrew Wells, Xander Harris" he introduced the two young men, "Andrew, Xander will be your guide to Sunnydale High"
"Cool" the shorter guy smiled. Xander looked a lot friendlier than the bleached blond who'd nearly bowled him over in the hall moments before. He had seemed to be coming out of the Principals office, so there was every possibility he was the other new student who apparently needed no assistance in finding his way around, Andrew realised, as Xander began the guided tour of the school. He pointed out all the important areas like the cafeteria, the pool, and so on, but nothing caught Andrew's attention quite like the sight of one particular student.
"Wow" he gasped, stopping walking right in the middle of the quad as a girl with long brunette hair and beautiful blue eyes breezed past, almost in slow motion.
"Oh no" Xander shook his head violently as he swung round his new friend and stood in front of him, holding him by the shoulders, "No, don't look at that, you'll go blind" he advised.
"She is so pretty" Andrew said dreamily, continuing to stare, "She's like, even more hot than Princess Leia in the gold bikini" he declared and Xander was side-tracked momentarily by that image before he snapped back to the problem at hand.
"Andrew, it's pointless okay?" he explained, finally getting the boy's attention as his apparent dream girl went out of view, "See, that's Dawn Summers" Xander told him, "Her Mom is way, way strict about either of her daughters dating"
"How strict?" Andrew checked and Xander shook his head sadly.
"Like, no dating til they graduate, kind of strict" he told him, "Believe me if there was a way to get around that rule I so would've, although not with Dawn" he quickly explained, "Her sister, Buffy, she was... well, she still kinda is totally gorgeous" he said in a kind of day dream for a moment, "but these days, totally wacko to go along with. It's like one day she just decided she was gonna be angry. Permanently"
"I'm just saying maybe we should look at it from another angle!" Buffy half-yelled in annoyance at her history teacher who really was not listening to what she had to say.
"Miss Summers, I can assure you there is near consensus in the academic community regarding the death of Rasputin" the man sighed, thoroughly bored of her outburst and it was only the first class of the first day. She'd been just as bad last year with her wild speculations on just about every fact he tried to teach the class.
"But there are reported sightings of him as late as the 1930s" she continued on, "And like the history books are really so accurate!" she scoffed, "There was also a near consensus about Columbus, y'know, until someone asked the Vikings what they were up to in the 1400s, and they're like, 'discovering this America-shaped continent'"
"Oh, please" the boy two desks to her left began to laugh, "Give it up, Blondie, you're not the professor here, and nobody cares what you think"
"Like anybody wants your opinion either, Angelus!" she spat back at him.
It was strange to think they'd dated once and even appeared to be in love. Something changed a couple of years back, and suddenly Liam Angelus, known to most as Angel, and Buffy Summers, despised each other and spent the better part of their school days arguing.
"Oh no, no, no, not the Punch and Judy show again" the teacher said firmly standing between their desks, "You two can pipe down or you can get out of my classroom"
"Sure thing, sir" Angel feigned innocence, "I'm strictly here to learn"
"Oh right" Buffy snorted, rolling her eyes, "I guess you need some more special skills for your resume, to go with wannabe-model and royal pain the ass!" she shot at him, the teacher heard that but didn't see Angel give his ex the finger, making her even more mad.
"Oh, you are so going down..." she said in a low voice as she made to get up from her seat. The teacher was at her side in a second and telling herin no uncertain terms that her behaviour was inappropriate and that she should get her butt to the Principals office, right now.
The bell rang for the end of the school day, but Buffy wouldn't be going anywhere for at least another hour. The Principal had not been thrilled to hear about her terrorising her history class, and despite the fact Buffy had pointed out that neither expressing her opinion or defending herself were terrorist actions, Principal Wood had still insisted she attend an hours detention after school.
She was walking across the courtyard to serve her time, meeting up with Faith half way since she too had landed herself a short stay in detentions-ville for threatening her new lab partner with either a scalpel or a bottle of acid, no-one was certain which rumour was true yet.
"You flipped at Angel again, huh?" Faith guessed and Buffy frowned slightly.
"Am I becoming predictable?" she asked, looking worried it might be true. Faith was about to answer when she spotted something more important than annoying her friend.
"Nah, not you, B" she assured the blonde, "but somebody else we both know and loathe never changes" she sneered, pointing to the scene she was referring to.
Buffy looked daggers at her ex across the quad as Angel drove his car right up next to her sister Dawn. To his credit, it wasn't Liam Angelus who was interested in the young brunette, but obviously his brother Connor, who sat in the passenger seat. Still Buffy was not amused and was seconds away from storming over there to put the Angelus boys in there place, but she didn't get the chance.
"Miss Summers, Miss Lehane" Principal Wood said as he approached them, "Don't you two have somewhere you ought to be right now?"
"Well that all depends how generous you're feeling, sir" Faith said suggestively, fluttering her eyelashes, "One word from you and we could be doing something way more interesting than detention" she told him, leaning in close. Buffy rolled her eyes and glanced away in disgust. Sometimes she really didn't understand Faith at all, and her apparent crush on the Principal was one thing Buffy was sure she'd never get.
"Hey Dawn" Connor smiled widely at the girl who blushed under his gaze.
Connor Angelus was like the hottest guy in her grade and he had chosen to talk to her, she didn't know which way to turn.
"Hi" she said shyly, catching the eye of her friend Janice and causing them both to giggle nervously.
"Just wanted to say, y'know you look great today" Connor told her, looking a little nervous himself, a fact that made his older brother almost gag in the drivers seat, "I.. I was wondering..."
"For God sake" Angel interrupted, "I can't stand this much longer" he snapped, leaning over Connor to address the two girls, "What my idiot brother was trying to say" he explained, propping his sunglasses up on top of his head, "Is do you two beautiful ladies wanna ride home?" he asked with a smile.
"Totally" Dawn gasped, so thrilled to be asked and stunned at the same time.
She and Janice had no idea just how many pairs of eyes were watching as they climbed into the back of the red convertible, the most important of which were perhaps her sister who looked far from pleased, and another who she'd yet to meet.
"I'm so in love" Andrew sighed as he watched Angel's car speed away with the girl of his dreams in the back.
"Give it up, man" Xander told him, slapping him on the back, not noticing how the smaller boy winced, "She is so out of bounds it's untrue"
Andrew stared after the car and looked determined.
"I will find a way to be with her" he swore, "I believe the force is with me"
To Be Continued...
A/N2 : Reviews would be very much appreciated at this juncture. Also, feel free to discuss this or any of my other fics with me or each other on the forum I set up, link is on my profile page!