Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story do not belong to me. Notice I said 'most'. Meaning that if for whatever reason you might want to borrow the other half, please ask:)

Author's Notes: This is (probably) the fifth and final part of the Family series. In order, the stories in series are "In A Family Way", "Ashes in the Valley", "Baby Mine", "What Once Was Lost" and now "In the Living Years". I am tossing around the idea of a sixth part, but I have not made up my mind yet. I do appreciate feedback; if you think the story needs more closure, please don't hesitate to tell me. I very much hope that everyone has enjoyed reading this series. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Dedication: To my father. For the times he made us read instead of watching cartoons...for the times he took us to places most people only dream of...for the times when he is strict and the times when he is unbending....and for all the times he put our best interest above all else.

*****

In the Living Years
by Kristen Elizabeth

****

July, After Colony 223
The former Sanq Kingdom
Earth

"Lin. Lin!!" Sally Chang sighed and tugged at the bottom of the dress she was trying to adjust. An empty pin box sat next to her on the oriental rug. "Where is that child with the pins?"

The girl wearing the white silk creation smiled. "Maybe we should have sent Jade instead. Boys could care less about pins."

Sally looked up at twenty-six year old Abigail Maxwell. "He promised he'd be back in a minute. I told him exactly where they were in my suitcase." She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Besides...Jade is fencing with her father."

Relena Peacecraft-Yuy laughed as she finished sewing the last pearl onto an already pearl-encrusted headpiece. "So, Jade is sparring while her brother gets stuck with the women?"

"Wufei and Jade left before I could do anything about it", Sally replied. "Believe me, I'd rather..."

"Mom..." Sixteen year old Chang Lin stepped into the bedroom. "I can't find them."

Sally sighed. "All right. Thank you, Lin." Her son continued to hang in the doorway as she stood up and looked at the wedding dress draped onto Abigail's slender body. "Three more pins and I can hem this. And then you can get married, Abby."

On the other side of the room, Abigail's younger sister, twenty-four year old Ruth snorted softly as she flipped through a magazine while Lucrezia Noin kneeled at her feet, adjusting the already-pinned hem of her pear-colored bridesmaid dress. "With all that Abby had to do to get Edward to the altar, she'd show up in a potato sack if she had to", Ruth continued.

"Let's hope it won't come to that", Relena winked at the girls. "Where's Hilde, by the way? I need her approval on this headpiece."

"Mom's making sure Dad rents the right sort of tux." Abigail pulled at a stray thread hanging off her wedding gown's strap. "Because if he shows up in any color but black, I will never let him see his grandchildren."

"Don't worry, Abigail." Heero Yuy stood in the doorway, a hint of what could almost pass for amusement in his dark blue eyes. "Your father hasn't worn anything that wasn't black since the day I met him." He turned to Wufei's son. "Come on. We need you downstairs."

With a grateful look in the blue eyes he had inheirted from his mother, Lin nodded. "I'm sorry about the pins, Mom."

"Don't worry about it. But if you see your father, tell him I need to talk to him."

When he was out in the hallway, Lin breathed a little sigh, hoping Heero wouldn't notice. But there wasn't much Heero Yuy didn't pick up on. "They sent you for pins?", he asked the boy.

Lin shrugged. "I guess I was the only person nearby...." Heero said nothing. "I don't mind. It's not a big deal."

"Well..." Heero started down the staircase and Lin dutifully followed. "I need you to do something far more important."

"Okay. What is it?"

Instead of answering, Heero called out his own son's name. "Ben."

From the depths of the house, eighteen year old Benjamin Yuy yelled back, "What?"

"Front and center", Heero replied in a tone that did not leave room for anymore questions.

With much grumbling, Ben appeared from the study, running a hand through his tousled dark brown hair. "Dad...I'm about to win the pool game..."

"Like hell you are." The groom-to-be, twenty-eight year old Edward Peacecraft followed his cousin into the foyer. "The game is far from over, kid."

Heero ignored them. "We need ice. Go get some."

Ben's Prussian blue eyes glinted. "I get to take the car?"

After a moment, Heero pulled the keys from his pocket. "Just one dent and..."

"Yeah, yeah...you'll kill me, I know the drill." Ben held out his hand for the keys. "You coming, Lin?"

The black-haired boy nodded. "I guess so."

"Edward?"

The older man shook his head. "Gotta stick around the house...groom's duties. Sorry, kid."

"We'll come!!!", a feminine voice cried out. Lin lifted his chin to see Eve Maxwell, with Amani Na'ilah Barton in tow, at the top of the stairs. Both fifteen year old girls were dressed in jeans and tops that their fathers, all three of them, definitely would not have approved of. Eve bounded down the stairs, her long braid flying, dragging Amani with her. "We can help!"

Heero snorted, silently thankful that his own teenage daughter, Victoria, was too tied up with wedding preparations to be underfoot...and around the other boys. "Be back soon." With that, he and Edward headed into the kitchen, leaving the teenagers behind.

Lin quietly cleared his throat. "Where's Adam? Does he want to come, too?"

Eve smiled deviously. "My darling twin brother is stuck at the tux place with Mom, Dad and Thomas." She swung her braid over her shoulder coyly. "But my dress was finished awhile ago, so I'm free."

Ben looked at Amani who had been quiet up until then. "What about you?"

Trowa and Quatre's adopted daughter blinked her deeply hazel eyes. A blush spread on her porcelian cheeks. "Am I free?", she managed to ask. He nodded and smiled. "Oh, well...um...I don't really..."

"I'm going to take that as a yes." Ben winked one eye at the blond girl. "C'mon...you can ride in the front with me."

Eve glanced at Lin. "I guess that means we'll be in the backseat", she commented in a hopeful tone.

"Yeah. I guess so." Lin pulled at his ear shyly. He squirmed slightly under the girl's blatant stare. "So...should we go? Your dad said to get back soon, Ben."

With a sigh and a shake of his head at his friend, Ben motioned towards the front door. "Ladies..."

"Benji!!"

"Oh no...", Ben groaned, knowing what was coming. Sure enough, his youngest sister, seven year old Anastasia, came flying down the stairs. The child had been a "gift" from his parents...an unplanned gift that had arrived two days before Ben's eleventh birthday. She had a crown of pear-colored silk flowers on her golden locks and a begging smile on her face.

"Can I come too? Please, please, please??!!"

Lin and Amani nodded immediately; only Ben and Eve protested. "Don't you have things to do around here, Ana?", Eve asked.

Heero and Relena's youngest shook her head; the ribbons on her flower girl's headpiece swayed violently. "Nope. I wanna come with you guys!"

Ben kneeled to his sister's level. "Look...kid. This is a grown up's mission. We have no room for..."

"Benjamin!!" His mother's voice floated down from the second level of the house. "Can you keep an eye on your sister for a few hours?"

Giving in, Ben gave Eve a mournful look, before glancing back at his little sister. "You are so going to pay for this", he vowed. Anastasia grinned wickedly.

****

"Your left arm is improving, but you still need work on your forward thrust." Chang Wufei looked at his thirteen year old daughter with approval in his black eyes. "Don't stop practicing with the right, though. There's always room for improvement."

Jade nodded seriously. Tucking the fencing sword under her arm, she bowed to her father. Her long, silky black ponytail fell over her shoulder. "I understand." Dropping a bit of the formality, she straightened up. "Father...do you think that maybe next time we could invite Lin to fence with us?"

Wufei examined the tip of his own sword's blade. "Your brother lacks the drive and the skill for fencing, Jade. It would be a waste of time."

"But..." Jade bit her lip and pressed on, ignoring the warning signs in her father's demeanor. "Maybe you could still ask him?"

Her words seemed to go ignored as well. "It was a good match today. You will be a formidible opponent someday very soon."

She knew she was being dismissed. Sighing inwardly, she bowed once more. "Thank you, Father." She dreaded that day he spoke of. Without another word, she headed back into the main house.

Lin was in the kitchen, putting away several bags of ice when she entered a half hour later, dressed in jeans and a sweater. She often envied the other girls their wardrobes full of tiny t-shirts and backless tops. Her own father would rather lock her in her room than allow her to display anymore flesh than was necessary. She watched her older brother for a moment as he worked. So diligent. So obidient. So very Chinese.

So why was he stacking ice while she spent time with their father?

"Hey", she finally said, alerting him to her presence. "What's going on?"

He glanced up, meeting her black in black eyes with his own bright blue ones. "Just putting away the ice", he replied. "Ben, Eve, Ana, Amani and I got sent to get some more."

Jade hopped up onto a bar stool. "You ought to make Ben put it away. This is his house, after all."

Lin shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Let me guess..." Jade reached for a grape from the fruit bowl on the counter. "Ben's talking up Eve? Or Amani? And you got stuck with the ice."

Her brother closed the freezer door. "Someone had to do it. Everyone's so busy....I don't mind helping."

Not for the first time, she had the desire to strangle her brother, while at the same time trying to shake some sense into him. Didn't he realize how he was? Didn't he ever get tired of being that way? She swallowed her grape and jumped off the bar stool. "Hey, listen. Next time Father and I fence, why don't you join us?"

Lin wiped his cold hands on his jeans. "Oh...I don't know. I'm not any good at it, Jade. He'll only get mad..." He looked down at his shoes. "Besides, I don't really like it. It's so..."

"Violent?", she guessed. Sighing audibly, Jade put her hands on her hips. "Fine. Whatever." She paused. "Where's Mom?"

"Upstairs."

She left without saying anything else. Lin was alone in the kitchen for a minute until sixteen year old Celeste Peacecraft wandered in, wearing a half-hemmed bridesmaid's dress.

"I swear to the gods above...", she began. "Who's brilliant idea was it to wait until the day before the wedding to try on all the dresses?" Noticing him standing silently, Celeste brushed a strand of white-blond hair out of her eyes. "What's wrong, Lin? You look like you need a drink."

He blinked. "I don't drink, Celeste."

She reached under the bar and pulled out a bottle of vodka. "Neither do I. Can you get me the orange juice?" Automatically, without thinking, he did as he was asked, as well as handing her a glass tumbler from the cabinet over his head. Celeste poured an inch of vodka into the glass and topped it off with four inches of orange juice. "Don't look at me like that, Lin. I just need something to get through this fitting."

"I'm not...looking. I just don't think you ought to be doing that." He blushed, suddenly uncomfortable. Truth be told, he was looking at her. The pear-colored silk clung to her curves, accentuating the positive. He steered his eyes away.

Celeste watched him over the rim of her glass as she drank. He was her height, promising to be taller in the next few years. Medium build. Skin the light tan shade she valiantly tried for every summer, but failed to achieve due to her own delicate complexion. His hair was jet black, short and straight. Only his eyes seemed out of place, a deep blue against all the traditional Chinese coloring. There was no denying it...he was very attractive. She set her glass down.

"How long have we known each other, Lin?"

He looked back at her briefly, but once he caught the weight in her stare, glanced away again. "Forever", he replied. There was a pause. "I can even remember when you were sick."

She smiled. "Is that why you don't want me drinking?" He didn't have to answer. "Lin...do you think I'm pretty?"

"I...um..." His palms felt sweaty. "I suppose that...yeah...I guess..."

Celeste took a step towards him. "Have you ever kissed a girl before?"

His eyes grew wide. "No...", he managed to reply.

She was leaning in towards him. He could smell the faint trace of vodka on her breath. Her tongue darted out, running around her pink lips to wet them. He closed his eyes.

The kiss never came. Before her mouth reached his, Trowa Barton entered the kitchen. He took in the scene coolly, as was his way. "Lin. Celeste." The teenagers backed away from each other. Trowa calmly reached for the vodka bottle, screwed the lid back on and replaced it under the bar. "Lunch is in half an hour. You might want to move to another room." Before they could reply, he left.

Celeste looked back at Lin. His face was ashen. "Some other time?" She downed the rest of the drink before slinking out of the kitchen, leaving Lin with the glass, a racing pulse and the strangest feeling that his entire life was about to become a lot more complicated.

****

Wufei was already in bed, reading a book in Chinese, when Sally finally retired to their guest room for the night after all the bridesmaids and flower girl dresses, not mention the bridal gown itself, were finally finished. He looked up as she came in and gave her the look she loved. It wasn't a warm, loving look; that was reserved for the especially tender moments in their life together. This look was blatant desire. He placed a silk marker in the book and set it aside.

"I was starting to think you'd never come to bed, woman."

Sighing, Sally smiled at her husband. Over the years, the way he addressed her, which had originally driven her insane beyond belief, had molded into a pet name she adored. "Were you getting lonely?"

Instead of answering, he flipped off the comforter and stood up. Sally caught her breath. After all their years together, the sight of his perfectly sculpted body, only covered by the Chinese silk boxers she had given him for the New Year, still caught her by surprise. His hair was free from its usual ponytail and hung around his neck. Only a streak of silver in those stark straight locks kept him from still looking as young as he had been when they first met.

He approached her and looked down into her eyes. Cupping the back of her head in his hand, he kissed her long and deep. "Mmm...", she whispered when he pulled back. "That was nice."

Wufei's lips found the spot on her neck that took her breath away. "I should keep going then..."

"Actually..." Sally pulled away from him before she ceased to be able to think. "I want to talk to you about Lin."

He raised one black eyebrow. "What about him?"

"I think he's withdrawing from everything. Have you seen him lately? He's so quiet...he doesn't ever object to anything anymore. And when was the last time you heard him take a stand on anything?" Sally put her hands on her hips. "I think I know what it is, too."

"Woman...the child is a loner. There's nothing wrong with that." Wufei snorted. "I'd like to say he gets it from me."

Sally shook her head. "You chose to be alone for all those years. He doesn't like what he's become. I can see it everytime I look at him. Our son is very unhappy, Wufei."

"And you think you know why?" Wufei crossed his arms. "You think it's me."

"I just think..." Sally hesitated. "...you ought to spend some more time with him. That's all."

Wufei walked back to the bed. "The boy has no interest, woman."

Sally refused to let the conversation drop. "That's not true! You'd see it if you spent more time with him. The kind of time you spend with Jade."

"Jade goes out of her way to find things we have in common." Wufei picked up his book. "Did you know that she started to learn Chinese?"

"Of course. Who do you think bought her an English to Chinese dictionary?" Sally sighed heavily. "You're missing my point entirely, Wufei. Lin would be just as eager to do things with you as Jade is...if he knew that you cared whether or not he *was* eager. Right now, he doesn't have any idea."

"What do you want me to do? Drag the boy kicking and screaming to the fencing hall? Make him study Chinese characters until he winds up hating the language forever?" Wufei got back into bed with his book. "He can come to me if he wants to. I have no time to waste chasing after my children's affections."

Sally looked at her husband. "I think you ought to make the time, Wufei. Because they won't be children forever. One day, our son is going to be completely grown up and out on his own. And you will have missed every moment along the way."

When Wufei failed to answer and opened his book instead, Sally knew he would discuss the subject no further. Rather than blow up at him and risk days of the silent treatment, she gave up and let the matter drop. For the moment.

****

"....Christ!! My tux is blue!! Hilde...."

"Why the hell can't I see her before the ceremony? Who made up that stupid...."

"....down here, Celeste Peacecraft. Why aren't you dressed and..."

"It's not blue, Duo. It's....navy. Oh dear....."

"....coffee, Quatre. Make it as strong as possible, or none of us will get through...."

"Edward, cool it. Pretty soon you'll get tired of seeing...."

"...taking a break, Mother. I will get dressed just as soon as..."

"Sure, Heero. Are the filters still in the same...."

"...Daddy!! Didn't you check the color of the tux before you left the store? Abby is going to have a..."

"...can't believe you're telling our son that, Zechs. Next thing I know you'll be telling him to..."

"Augh!!!! Mommy!!!!! Benji is chasing me with..."

"...did check it!! It looked black!!"

"Benjamin! Leave your sister alone or else...."

"....only kidding, Lu. But I didn't see you before we got married and I haven't gotten tired of seeing...."

"Maxwell...are you aware that your tuxedo is...."

"You're so sweet, Zechs and such a..."

"...such a brat, Ana."

"Mom...Dad. It's my wedding day. Leave the kissing to me and..."

"... Wufei. I am *painfully* aware that my tux is..."

"Lin?" A hand shook his shoulder. Lin slowly opened his eyes and blinked. The pleasant face of fifteen year old Adam Maxwell appeared over him. "Lin...are you awake?"

"I think so." He sat up. "Where am I?"

Adam smiled; his violet eyes were warm. "In the study. I guess you fell asleep here last night."

"Oh...yeah." Lin rubbed his eyes. "What's everyone yelling for?"

"I think it's standard wedding day procedure." Adam made a face. "And this is only the first of my sisters to get married. Let me tell you how much I'm looking forward to doing all this again...twice."

"Ruth seems like the type to elope", Lin offered the boy a sliver of hope.

Duo's son laughed. "You should probably get up and get dressed. There's breakfast laid out in the kitchen."

Lin stood and gave Adam a grateful smile. "Thanks for waking me up." He started for the study doors.

Adam put his hands in the pockets of his tuxedo pants. "Anytime."

****

~~The Wedding of Abigail Esther Maxwell and Edward Sinclair Peacecraft~~

The Seventeenth of July in the year After Colony Two Hundred Twenty Three

Parents of the Bride~ Duo and Hilde Maxwell

Parents of the Groom~ Millardo and Lucrezia Peacecraft

~Attendants to the Bride~

Maid of Honor: Ruth Sarah Maxwell, sister

Eve Zipporah Maxwell, sister

Celeste Adela Peacecraft, sister of the groom

Victoria Grace Yuy, cousin of the groom

Flower Girl: Anastasia Esme Yuy, cousin of the groom

~Attendants to the Groom~

Best Man: Micah Stephen Carpenter, college roommate

Benjamin William Yuy, cousin

Thomas Isaac Maxwell, brother of the bride

Adam Jonah Maxwell, brother of the bride

The Wedding Ceremony and Mass will be officiated by Father Patrick Mullins, pastor of St. Luke Catholic Church on Colony L2-5120.

~~~From the bottom of hearts, we thank you all for being with us on our wedding day. It has been a long road to this moment in our lives. We have gone from friends to lovers and back to friends, often times being strangers to each other along the way. However, we have made it to this day and we are overjoyed that we can share it with you. Thank you to our parents who have supported us and our friends who have always been there. We remember today those who can not be with us, most especially Grace Deborah Maxwell.

God be with you all.

Abby and Edward~~~

****

"I can't believe it." Duo's wide-set eyes stared at the carpet as he took a long gulp of whiskey. "I can't believe she's married."

Wufei looked at his own drink and sighed. "How long has he been repeating this?"

Quatre glanced at his watch. "Two hours, fifteen minutes and counting."

"Maxwell..." Wufei set his glass aside and snapped his fingers in front of the other man's face. "Snap out of it."

Duo blinked. "She's married..."

"So much for that", Heero muttered, reaching for the whiskey bottle.

"She's married", Duo repeated. "Married...." His eyes got even bigger. "Oh god....she's going to have sex tonight!!"

"Okay, stop right there." Millardo held up his hands. "Let's try to remember that you are talking about my son, too, and there are some images that even whiskey could never erase from my memory."

Duo narrowed his eyes. "If your son even thinks about putting his hands on *my* daughter's...."

"Don't worry, Duo. I'm sure they're using both beds in the hotel room, like good roommates", Trowa assured him.

Quatre slapped his lover's arm. "Don't mess with Duo's mind; he's in a fragile place. Imagine if it were Amani we were talking about." Trowa had to nod his agreement.

But their braided friend smiled. "I'm sure they're using both beds, too." His smile fell. "But she's really gone now....and she's not ever coming back."

"She's not dead, Maxwell." Wufei picked his glass back up.

"Yeah, but...they're going to live on Earth. And we'll only see her..."

"As many times a year as you see the rest of us", Heero supplied. "It's not the end of the world."

Duo scowled. "You all aren't the fruit of my loins, so it's not the same."

"Can we leave loins out of this?", Millardo asked.

"No conversation with Duo is complete without loins", Wufei deadpanned.

Heero shook his head. "Loins..."

"What a great word", Trowa commented, earning another reprimand from Quatre.

Millardo stood up, tipped his head back to down the last of his whiskey. "If you'll excuse me...I have other things I could be doing."

"Yeah...Lu was looking a little weepy during the reception", Duo snickered.

His innuendo went ignored. "She's convinced that she's older than Moses now that Edward is married." Millardo shook his head.

Duo continued with his dirty thoughts. "I suppose you'll just have to convince her otherwise."

Heero sipped his drink. "What were you saying about images not leaving your memory?"

"Have fun!" Duo raised his glass. "It's our children's wedding night!" The hand holding the glass faltered. "I can't believe it. I can't believe she's married."

Wufei groaned. Quatre looked at his watch. "Should I start a new time or pick up from the old?"

****

November 20, AC 223
Victoria, South Africa
Earth

"May I have some more rice, Mom?" Lin held his bowl out towards his mother.

Sally scooped a spoonful into her son's dish. "Is that all you're eating tonight, Lin? Do you not like the shrimp?"

"No...no, it's really good, Mom. I'm just not very hungry." He lifted a clump of rice with his chopsticks.

Wufei reached into the shrimp bowl with his own chopsticks. "Lin...eat something more than rice." Obidently, Lin picked up a shrimp and put it in his mouth, chewing slowly.

"Father...is it all right if we practice for an hour before I start on my homework?", Jade asked around a mouthful of rice.

"Sweetie, you practiced for two hours this afternoon", Sally reminded her daughter.

"But my left arm needs improvement. Please, Father?", Jade pleaded. Wufei gave his consent with a nod. "Shifen ganxie!"

Lin looked at his sister strangely. "Was that Chinese?"

"I was thanking him", Jade said smugly.

"With emphasis", Wufei said. "How would you casually thank someone?"

"Xie xie!", Jade replied, in perfect Mandarin.

Wufei gave his daughter an approving look. "Hao."

Lin bit his lip and looked down into his rice bowl. "I didn't know you were learning Chinese."

Jade shrugged. "It's difficult. But Father is a good teacher."

"I wouldn't know", Lin murmured, barely audible even to himself. He cleared his throat. "May I go? I've had enough." An uncharacteristic scowl settled on his face. "How would you say that in Chinese, little sister?"

"Wo gou le", she said, smartly.

Lin stood up from the table. "Wo gou le. I'm going to start on my..."

"Lin." Wufei set down his chopsticks. He glanced at his wife; Sally nodded her head ever so slightly. He took a breath. "It would be...acceptable if you chose to join your sister and I at the fencing hall."

"You want me to fence with you?" Lin looked doubtful.

"You're under no obligation." Wufei shrugged. "It's up to you."

His son picked up a kernel of rice and placed it in his discarded bowl while he thought. "Do you....do you want me to come, Father?"

Wufei lifted his chopsticks and continued his dinner. "It's up to you", he repeated.

Lin stood for another minute. "All right", he finally said. "I accept your invitation."

"Father..." Jade poked at her shrimp with her chopstick. "Maybe I should stay home and do my homework while you two..."

"No, I think all three of you should go." Sally smiled at her family. "I'd go too, but I'm expecting a call."

"Who's calling?", Lin asked.

Sally picked up the rice bowl. "Lu said she'd call when they got any news from Abby and Edward." She sighed happily. "I certainly hope they're right. Duo is going to be a wonderful grandfather."

Her husband could barely hold back his choked laugh. "Justice has been served. Duo will be a grandfather long before the rest of us." He pushed his chair back. "Maybe he'll finally cut his hair."

"Don't count on it", Sally called out as he walked towards the master bedroom. Shaking her head, she started for the kitchen with the rice. "You'd think that after nearly thirty years, they'd quit the bickering..."

Lin reached for the shrimp bowl and joined his mother. "Isn't it too early for...um..." He blushed. "A baby?"

"Four months since the wedding." Sally ran her fingers through her son's dark hair. "Some people wait; some people don't. However..." She bopped his nose. "I am not ready to be a grandmother yet. So, don't you get any ideas, mister."

The blush on her son's face became three shades darker. "Mom...really."

Jade came into the kitchen with her rice bowl. "Are you sure you want to do this tonight, Lin?"

He rubbed his flushed cheek. "Yes. Of course. Absolutely." There was a pause. "No. I don't want to. But Father invited me. So...I have to."

"Okay...", Jade replied, doubtfully. "Let me give you some advice. Always bow before you start...formality is very important to Father. Also, make sure your lunges have some power behind them. Don't just step forward. Father abhorrs a weak advance. And when you..."

"Jade", Sally turned the kitchen faucet on. "I'm sure your brother will be fine."

****

"Lin!"

He winced. "I'm sorry, Father." There was a pause. "What am I doing wrong?"

Wufei pulled off his fencing mask and sighed impatiently. "I think the more appropriate question would be, what aren't you doing wrong?" He approached his son. "Look at the way you're holding your weapon."

Lin looked down at his hand. He tightened his grip on the sword's handle. "Better, Father?"

"And look at the way you're standing. Are you preparing to lunge at me or curtesy to me?"

Jade came up beside her brother. "Just spread your feet a little farther apart...and put your weight on your advanced leg", she advised him.

He tried to shift his body into the correct position. After several tries, he finally found a pose that didn't make his father scowl. "Can we try it again?", he asked, mustering what was left of his composure.

Wufei donned his mask again. "We can try", he replied. He held the sword up in front of his face. "En garde."

After several failed attempts to get into the swing of the fencing step pattern, it became very clear to Lin that trying was the only thing he could do. A frustrated tear slipped down his cheek, concealed inside his fencing mask. He bit his lip as Wufei stepped back, ripping off his mask once more. "I'm sorry, Father", Lin apologized before Wufei could say anything.

"Are you giving up?", Wufei asked his son.

Lin lifted his mask off with trembling hands. "I'm no good at this, Father."

"No, you're not. But you could get better if you tried. Really tried...and that doesn't mean a couple half-hearted attempts like the ones you've been showing me tonight."

"But I *am* trying", Lin whispered. "I just can't do it."

Wufei sighed. "Son...this is your pattern. You give up. Fencing, distance shooting....it's all the same. All the way back to the time we took you to the war museum and let you pilot the simulated mobile suit. You couldn't do it. So, you gave up."

Lin looked at Jade; she was standing quietly, looking down at her feet. He blinked. "I'm not you, Father. I'm not a pilot. I'm not a warrior. I'm just..."

"You're just giving up", Wufei interrupted. Shaking his head, he walked over to their equipment. "We'll, I'm not going to hold your hand through yet another..." He stopped short and closed his eyes. After a second, he blinked and shook his head. "Where was I?"

"Ranting", Jade muttered.

Wufei nodded briskly. "Do you understand what I'm saying? Great men don't become great by giving up. You'll never get anywhere in life if you..." Once again, he stopped speaking and dropped his chin to his chest. He pressed a hand to his head.

"Father?" Lin looked at his sister. "Father...are you all right?"

Wufei blinked again. "Yes. I'm just..." He squeezed his eyes closed in pain. "...fine."

Jade looked at her brother. "Father, please....do you need something?"

"It's just a headache", Wufei said. "I'll just sit down for a second and..." His words dropped off as his knees gave out from under him.

"Father!" Lin ran to him and helped lay him on the wood floor. "What is it? What's wrong??" Wufei didn't reply. "Jade...go get Mom."

"Daddy...", Jade whispered.

"Now!!", Lin cried. His sister took off towards the main house. Lin looked down at his father's very still figure. "Open your eyes, Father...please....open your eyes."

****

"Mrs. Chang?"

"I'm...her. Where's my husband? How is he?"

"Mrs. Chang....your husband appears to have had a stroke. A stroke is when..."

"Please...you don't have to explain things to me. I'm a doctor. Just tell me if he's all right."

"The clot in his brain was very large. Even if we could have gotten to it with more time to spare, he would have been incapacitated...probably for the rest of his life."

"What are you...what are you saying?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs...Dr...ma'am. We weren't able to save your husband's life."

****

"It's such a small jar." Lin turned the urn over in his hands. "How can it possibly hold...all of...all of our...our father?"

Jade lifted her head from her knees. Her voice was small. "Why can't we bury him?"

"Your father wanted this", Sally replied, hoarsely. She cleared her throat. "This was his people's burial tradition. I wasn't about to go against his wishes just for our sake."

"Father's people? Who were father's people?"

Sally shook her head. "Give me the urn, Lin. They'll be here soon; I want to put it away."

Lin and Jade watched as their mother took the urn holding their father's ashes into the living room. Lin glanced up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. Upon hearing stifled sobs, he looked back down. Jade was still curled up in one corner, between an armchair and the couch. "Hey", he said softly. "It's okay to cry."

"Then why are you trying not to?"

The question stumped him. Before he could create an answer, the doorbell rang. "They're here", he said instead. Jade lowered her head, refusing to move. Taking a breath, Lin went to answer the door.

Familiar faces greeted him. Only the somberness of those faces was unfamiliar to him. "Hi", he said softly. "Thank you for coming. We apologize for not greeting you at the airport."

Duo clapped a strong, but gentle hand onto Lin's shoulder. "Hey kid...save the apologies for when you forget my birthday or something." The tone was joking, but underneath, Lin could see the great sadness in the usually jovial man.

Quatre stepped forward. "Lin, is your mother sure she feels up to putting up with all of us? It's not too late to get everyone into a hotel."

Lin shook his dark locks. "I think she wants everyone here. She's not..." He paused. "She's not doing so good."

"What about you?", Adam Maxwell asked from his place next to Eve.

Instead of replying, Lin gestured Duo and Quatre's families into the house. "Where is everyone else?"

"The Earth bound folks are on a plane as we speak, except for Millardo and Lu...they have to stay with Abby and Edward", Duo said, holding tight onto his wife's hand. "But the rest'll be here in a few hours."

Hilde wiped at her cheek. "Come here, Lin."

Lin let himself be hugged for a long minute. "It's all right, Miss Hilde." He pulled back. "My mom will be out in just a minute. Can I get you something to drink? Your bags?"

"Take a load off, kid", Trowa said quietly, but firmly.

"We're here to help, Lin", Quatre added, wrapping a tighter arm around his daughter's shoulders.

Lin started out the door to the car and the luggage within. "No...I need to do something. Mr. Quatre...can I have the keys to get everyone's bags?"

Quatre exchanged a look with Trowa and Duo. Finally, he took the keys from his pocket. "Adam, could you...?"

Duo's son took the keys. "Sure."

Lin was staring at the old fashioned Cadillac in the driveway when Adam approached him with Quatre's car keys. "Need a hand?"

"No." Lin reached for the keys. "I've got it."

Adam watched as he popped open the trunk and reached for a suitcase. "I'm really sorry", he began, awkwardly. "Your dad was a great man."

Lin stopped with a suitcase in his hand. "Really?" He set it down and reached for another. "I had no idea."

****

"To the ground that supports us throughout our life, we commit the ashes of Chang Wufei."

Jade took the urn and with trembling hands, tipped it over, spilling its contents onto the grass. The wind caught ahold of the particles and carried them off on a breeze.

"To the air that supports us throughout our life, we commit the ashes of Chang Wufei."

Sally took the jar and shook it, releasing more of its contents. "We will remember him with...honor, knowing that although one life has ended..."

Lin reached for the jar, scattering the last of the ashes over the earth. "...another has only just begun."

****

"And then there were four." Duo chewed on his thumbnail, staring off into space.

Quatre rested his head against the leather of the couch in Wufei's study. "It was a very good ceremony. Exactly what he would have wanted."

"Yes", Heero said, in agreement.

Trowa tightened his fingers around Quatre's. "Sally's holding up....well."

"As well as you can expect", Quatre added.

Duo took a breath. "Adam told me something yesterday. About Lin."

"What about him?", Heero asked.

"Just that he's really depressed."

Quatre blinked. "His father just died."

Duo waved his hand. "More than that. Adam asked me...well, all of us really...to talk to him. About Wufei."

"What can we tell him about his father that he didn't already know?" Heero crossed his arms.

"I don't know. But I trust my son's judgement. If he thinks there's something we can do for Lin..." Duo shrugged. "We should do it."

Heero glanced through the slit in the study doors. "Now would be the time. Here he comes." After a second, Heero called out to Wufei's son. "Lin."

The boy turned his head. The study doors were slid open; inside, he could see five familiar faces. Taking a breath, he went to the door. "Yes?"

Heero motioned to him. "Come in."

Lin stepped inside and looked around at his father's friends. He suddenly felt very young and very naive in the presence of the four men. He was out of place.

"It's okay, Lin. We don't bite." Duo winked. "Sit and stay awhile."

Smiling briefly, Lin did as he was told, gingerly sitting on the couch next to Quatre and Trowa. The blond man beside him gave him a sympathetic look. "You have questions. Don't you?"

"Yes." The boy stopped after the word was out of his mouth.

Heero's eyes followed his every unconcious gesture. "What do you want to know?"

"I want..." Lin hesitated. "I want to know...about my father."

Trowa's arm rested on Quatre's shoulder. "Have you talked to your mother?"

"I could. But she can only tell me about her husband. The guy she loved." Wufei's son kicked the edge of the oriental carpet with the toe of his shoe. "I want...I need to know...Chang Wufei. The real Chang Wufei."

Heero rubbed his chin. "And you think we can tell you the truth?"

Lin shook his head. "Not the truth. Everyone's truth is...different. I want facts."

There was a pause as the men exchanged looks. Duo finally spoke. "Lin...if you're looking for facts, get your history book and look up 'Gundam' in the index. You don't really want *facts*."

"All we can offer you is *our* truth. We can only tell you about the Wufei we knew", Heero continued.

Trowa looked around Quatre to see the boy. "Can you understand that?" Lin bit his lip and nodded. "All right then. I suppose I should start seeing as how I spent the most time with Wufei during the..."

"Hey!" Duo held up his hand. "I thought *I* spent the most time with Wufei during the war. Hell, I was stuck in an OZ holding cell with him for much longer than any human being should have to endure."

Quatre looked mildly amused. "But he and Trowa..."

"Nope. No arguing. I spent the most time with Wufei." Duo dropped his hand. "Okay, Lin. Here's what I can tell you. Your father was the single most infuriating cellmate I've ever had in my life. I was almost glad when Heero would get thrown back in with us because..."

"Because you'd have a new person to bother", Heero finished, grimly. "Lin, your father was stoic. Any man who could survive imprisonment *and* Duo's company deserved a medal and..."

"You know, Heero. Living in cramped quarters with the two of you put me in the running for sainthood. It was a miracle that I made it out without killing both of you in your..."

Quatre cleared his throat. "I don't think this is exactly what Lin needs to..."

"I can't believe you all are still having this argument", Trowa commented.

"Lin..." Heero looked at the boy, effectively ending the bickering. "Your father was a soldier. A warrior. He fought for something he believed in."

"He tried his hardest to justify everything he did in his life", Trowa added.

Duo thought for a second. "He had a sense of humor. At my expense mostly, but...you know...." He paused. "He was a good friend."

Quatre smiled sadly. "We're going to miss him."

Wufei's son blinked several times. His head pounded. "Yeah...." He stood up. "Thank you."

The men watched the boy go. When the doors slid closed behind him, Duo released a pent up breath. "That was just about the fucking hardest thing I've ever done. And I don't think we actually *did* anything for the kid."

"He really doesn't know anything, does he?" Quatre shook his head. "How can that be? How could Wufei not tell him anything?"

Trowa rested his head on the back of the couch. "Lin doesn't know his father because Wufei never showed him. Never let him in. As for why..." He shrugged. "Wufei's always relied more on actions than on words."

"The superior men are sparring in their words and profuse in their deeds", Heero mused. "Confucius."

Duo snorted. "Sometimes the words are necessary."

****

Heero was still thinking about Duo's comment long after the rest of the house had retired for the night. Benjamin was sharing a room with Adam and Lin, but the two boys were not there when Heero stopped by on his way to his and Relena's room. He knocked on the door and Ben answered.

"Hey Dad." Ben looked puzzled. "What's up?"

"Can I come in?"

Ben gestured inside and stepped out of the way to let his father in. "What's going on?"

Heero looked around, marveling at the mess three teenage boys could create. "Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it."

His father shook his head. "Relax, pal. That's not what this is about."

"Okay..." Ben raised an eyebrow. "Then what is it?"

Heero took one hand out of his pants pocket and scratched his forehead. "It's been a hell of week." Ben nodded. "I've had some time...to do some thinking. And I remembered something."

"What's that?"

"I made a promise to you a very long time ago."

Ben looked surprised. "You did?" It was Heero's turn to nod. "It wouldn't happen to have been to get me my own car someday, would it?"

"Sit down and listen to me." Heero waited until his son plopped onto Lin's bed. "I promised you I would tell you all about me someday when you were older. Well...you're older now. And I don't..." He stopped.

"You don't want me to end up like Lin someday?", Ben said, quietly.

Heero nodded curtly. "So...I'm going to talk. And you're..."

"Going to listen." Ben smiled broadly. "Of course."

His father took a breath and sat next to him. "First of all...whatever Duo has ever told you...it's more than likely wrong...."

****

"Hey...feel like some company?"

Lin wiped the moisture from under his eyes and turned around to see Adam Maxwell approaching him from across the fencing hall. "Um...I guess", he replied, tears still clogging his throat.

Adam stepped forward until he was right beside his friend. "I thought you might be here." He paused. "How are you?"

"My father is dead", Lin said softly. "And I'm realizing that I never knew him."

"Sorry." Adam bit his lip. "Stupid question."

Lin sighed. "No, it's all right. Thanks for...caring." They were quiet for a minute. "Do you know your father, Adam? I mean, really know him."

"It's hard not to", Duo's son replied after a minute. "Dad lays everything out on the table...which isn't to say he has no secrets. There are things Dad won't talk about. But, yeah....I think I know him."

Wufei's son nodded. "That's good." His eyes were wet. "I wish that..." He stopped.

"Hey...Lin." Adam glanced at his friend. "You know your dad loved you...right?"

"I do?" Lin shrugged. "My dad wasn't like yours, Adam. He didn't lay *anything* out on the table. He didn't talk about anything. And now..." He shook his head. "I'll never know."

Adam put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say...to make you feel better. Maybe there isn't anything to say. I mean...I've never lost anyone. My sister died before I was born, but..." He took a breath. "I'm shutting up now."

"No." Lin looked at him. "It's all right. I don't mind..."

The two boys stared at each other for a long minute. Finally, Adam leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly against Lin's. The Chinese boy's eyes flew open at the contact, but closed as Adam increased the pressure of the kiss. After a second, Lin abruptly pulled away. "What...what was that...?" He touched his lips.

Adam blinked. "I though that you..." He ran a hand through his short, chestnut hair. "Lin, I thought that maybe..."

"No. I mean...I don't...know if I..." Lin searched for the right words, but they did not come to him. "I need to...go."

"Lin! Wait! I'm..." Adam stopped as Lin disappeared through the fencing hall doors. "...sorry."

****

The private shuttle Quatre had chartered for his and Duo's family's trip to Earth for the funeral departed in the morning. Although Lin went with his mother and sister to see them off, he did not say anything to the last minute condolances that were tossed his way. And he managed not to make eye contact at all with Adam.

The Yuys left awhile later, on a regular airplane bound for the Sanq Kingdom. Finally, the house was empty. Too empty.

Lin wandered around aimlessly for awhile. His mother had resigned herself to the long and painful task ahead of her...clearing out her husband's things. She had asked for Jade's help, but his sister had locked herself in the fencing hall. From the hallway, he could hear his mother rifling through drawers. An occasional sob reached Lin's ears. After a long while, he knocked on the door.

"Come in", Sally called out, wiping her cheeks.

"Hey Mom." Her son slipped into the bedroom. "Need a hand?"

Sally smiled through her tears. Her son...considerate as ever. "Of course." She pointed to a cardboard box. "Could you bring that over here?"

He picked up the box from the bed and walked to his mother. Kneeling, he placed the box between them on the carpet. "I didn't know Father had so much stuff."

His mother pulled a pair of Chinese pants out of a drawer and folded them neatly into the box. "Your father lived a full life, Lin. He acquired things along the way."

"Yeah." Lin looked down into the box, halfway full of his father's clothes. "What are you going to do with all of this?"

Sally shrugged and folded a shirt. "Charity, I suppose. There's not much reason to..." Her voice wobbled. "...keep any of it." She stood up and walked the bookshelf, taking a new box with her.

Lin reached back into the drawer and pulled out a pair of silk boxer shorts. "Does this go, too?", he asked.

She looked back. "No!", she said emphatically. She walked back and took the silk garment. "This...um...stays." She quickly stuffed it in another drawer.

"Mom..." Lin folded a pair of pants, identical to the ones his mother had placed in the box a minute before. "Can we talk about Father?"

"I thought we were", Sally replied, taking a handful of books from the shelf.

Lin nodded. "I just wanted to make sure..." He took a breath. "Tell me how you met Father."

Sally smiled sadly. "You know the story, Lin. Besides..." She swallowed. "I can't...not yet...."

"That's why I asked", Lin whispered. He looked back into the box, at the folded pieces of silk and cotton. He picked up one folded shirt; he could still smell his father on the cloth. Sandalwood. He replaced the shirt quickly. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Don't be sorry, Lin", Sally replied, reaching for a thin book. "I want to remember the good things. But it just hurts a little too much right now."

Something dropped from the book in her hand. Lin blinked and pointed to the folded paper on the carpet at his mother's feet. "Mom..."

Sally looked down before reaching for the fallen item. She opened the piece of paper up; it was covered with Chinese characters in what she recognized as Wufei's neat handwriting. "It must be something your father wrote."

"What does it say?", Lin asked, getting up from the floor and joining her.

"I don't know." She ran her fingers over the ink markings. "I can only recognize a few characters." She pointed to one at the bottom corner. "That's the character for 'month and that one....'seven'. 'Seventh month'...July." Her finger moved to the top of the page. "That's your character, Lin. Your name..." Her blue eyes clouded. "I know what this is..."

"What is it, Mom?"

Sally's hands trembled. "Your father wrote a letter on the day you were born. He thought I didn't know, but there wasn't much your father could hide from me, Lin. I found it a few days after we brought you home. Since I couldn't read it, I just stuck it in a book...and forgot about it." She looked at her son. "This is to you, Lin. Something Wufei wrote to you."

Lin blinked and looked at the myriad of characters on the page. "But....I can't read it."

"Take it", Sally gently pressed the old page into her son's hand. "It's for you."

"Mom...I can't read it!" Lin began to get frustrated. "What do you want me to do with it?"

Sally touched his cheek. "Maybe you can translate it." When Lin started to protest again, she continued. "Aren't you curious, Lin?"

He was. He desperately wanted to know what his father wrote on this page...to him. But as he looked back down, the ink characters seemed to blur together into one impossible heap. "I can't even say 'thank you' in Mandarin", he said softly. "How am I ever going to translate this?"

"I don't know, baby." His mother kissed his forehead. "Even after he's gone, your father is still a mystery to me."

Lin felt her tears on his scalp, but all he could think about was the impossibility of the task ahead of him. He ran his finger over the ink character his mother had said was his name. "This time...I'm going to solve it." He raised his head. "He's not hiding from me anymore."

*****

"Mr. Yuy....there's a communicator call for you."

Heero looked up at the secretary assigned to him by the Preventers. "Who is it?"

The old woman looked sad momentarily. "I believe it's Commander Chang's son, sir."

Frowning, Heero nodded and punched up his communicator screen as the woman left his office. Sure enough, the familiar, sullen face of Wufei's son appeared on the screen. "Lin", he greeted the boy. "What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Heero...", Lin began, but Heero held up his hand.

"Lin...we're all adults here. Nix on the 'mister' stuff, pal."

Lin nodded. "All right. Heero...um...I need your help."

Heero leaned forward. "Is your mother all right?"

"She's fine. Actually, this isn't something really drastic..." He took a breath. "I found something Father wrote to me...but it's in Chinese, so I can't read it. I'm trying to translate it....and since I read somewhere that Chinese and Japanese have some of the same characters and I know you read Japanese, I was wondering if you would..."

"Yes", Heero answered before the boy finished. "I can't promise you anything, Lin. But I'll try."

Lin smiled gratefully. "I'll fax it to you right now." He paused. "Thank you."

Heero lowered his head. "I hope I can help."

****

"And he's really trying to translate it?" Quatre looked at the Japanese man on his communicator screen.

Heero nodded. "I told him I would help, but he's going to need a lot more than what I can tell him."

"Maybe I could hire an interpreter", Quatre suggested.

"I'm not sure about that. I think this might be something Lin has to do on his own."

Quatre shook his head. "The boy has had to piece enough of his father's life together, Heero. Don't you think he deserves a break?"

"Give him awhile and let's see how he does." Heero looked at the fax in his hand. "It's been a very long time since I've tried to read this stuff...."

"If only it were Arabic", Quatre smiled sadly.

Heero looked back up. "Got one already...'writer'." He made a noise of self-approval. "I don't envy the kid, Quatre. I really don't."

Quatre sighed. "Neither do I."

****

"It's like he's possessed, Lu." Sally bit her lip, worriedly. "It's all I can do to get him to eat and sleep....forget schoolwork. Thankfully the school is giving him and Jade some time off. I wouldn't want to fight with him over something that means so much to him."

Noin gave her old friend a look of empathy. "He's like Wufei in that respect...isn't he? Determined? Task-oriented?"

"Stubborn", Sally continued. "Has a tendency to set goals too high above himself...." She sighed. "Why couldn't he have gotten more than just my eyes?"

"There's a lot of you in him, Sal", Noin reassured her.

Sally shook her head. "The only good thing I can say about all of this is that it seems to be making him closer to his sister. They've sort of taken the project on together. They're in Lin's room right now with Wufei's Chinese to English dictionary."

"And what do you think?"

"I think...." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm so afraid that he won't be able to do it, Lu. That whatever Wufei wrote to him will be lost forever." She opened her eyes to look at her friend. "Why didn't Wufei tell him whatever's in that letter?? He had years of opportunities!"

Noin shook her head, sadly. "Men...."

"Wufei", Sally corrected her. "Has Millardo ever talked to Edward and Celeste about himself?"

"Yes", Noin said after a minute. "But he certainly didn't tell them everything. Maybe he should have, but...." She shrugged. "Everyone has their secrets...even from their children."

Tears spilled over Sally's cheeks. "Wufei *is* a secret to his children, Lu! And I can't tell them anything!! Because everytime I think about him, I feel like a hundred rocks are on my chest....and I can't breathe..." She buried her face in her hands. "I want him back....I want him back, Lu..."

On the other side of the Earth, Noin ached from being unable to put her arms around her best friend's shoulders. "I know, Sal. I know."

****

The television screen filled with static fuzz. Lin glanced up from his books and papers, momentarily distracted by the station signing off for the night. He looked at his watch. Three in the morning already. The last time he had taken note of the hour, it had been ten and his mother had told him not to stay up too late.

He turned his neck to the side, hearing a slight popping sound as he stretched out the kinks. He lifted his arms over his head and yawned. Spread out around his legs on the floor was the product of nearly four weeks of work. A half translated page that made little to no sense. There were sentences, nearly whole....only missing the translations for one or two words. One or two words that, of course, held the key to the sentence's entire meaning.

It was frustrating....to say the least.

Lin stood up and walked into the kitchen. A sliver of light illuminated the dark room as he examined the contents of the refrigerator. He pulled a pitcher of cold jasmine tea out and closed the door. After he poured himself a glass, he took a sip. The sweet taste of jasmine with the spice of oolong tea leaves made his eyes water. This was his father's drink...it was what his mother poured for his father after he returned from a field mission or a training weekend. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear those times, as though the memories had been etched into the very walls of the room.

His own voice, high pitched at three years old. **Father's home!! Father's home!!**

His mother...relieved that her husband was home safe. **You're back so early, Wufei.** The sound of her pouring tea.

**I know.** Father's voice, tired from his trip, but with an edge of....what? Satisfaction? Complacency? Quickly replaced... **Rained out...two hundred cadets running from a little sprinkle of rain.** Low grumbling as he drank.

**Father...** He could see himself holding his little arms out, waiting for something.

**What's wrong with the boy, woman?**

There was worry in his mother's voice. **He wants you to pick him up, Wufei.**

The tea was sharp on his tongue as he remembered what it felt like to have those strong, yet awkward hands under his arms, lifting him off the ground. His father smelled like sandalwood, fresh rain and the jasmine he was drinking. Why was his father surprised when he put his little arms around his neck? Why was his first reaction to pull away?

The sound of his baby sister crying filled his ears and the memory faded.

Lin looked down at his glass, now empty. He placed it in the sink and walked back to the study. Bending down, he picked up his much marked, much erased, and much re-marked translation page. With the light from the TV static, he read off a line at random.

"'The only thing I can say is that looking at you makes me....'" He stopped. "Makes you what, Father? Makes you...disgusted? Ashamed? Overjoyed? Nauseated? What does looking at me make you??" He looked at the page for answers, but none came.

For the first time since he had found the letter, Lin felt anger rise up in the back of his throat. The translated words crumpled in his fist under the weight of the emotion. It was all he could do to keep from screaming and waking up his mother and sister.

The anger found its way out through tears that collected in the corners of his almond shaped eyes. He tried to hold them back too, but to do so would have been torture. Instead, he let himself cry. In his fist was the crushed sheet of paper; he tightened his grip on it as he cried.

"It's not fair", he muttered between sobs. "It's not fair....why do I have to work so hard?? Why do you make me work for everything, Father?! Huh?? Why can't you, just for once, give me a break? I'm sorry I wasn't ever the perfect son! I'm sorry that I didn't like fencing....and I'm sorry that I couldn't pilot that stupid simulated mobile suit when I was six!! I never meant to embarass you....I wanted you to be proud of me! Why weren't you??" He dropped to the carpet. "What did I make you, Father? What did I make you feel?? Please....I need to know...please...."

"Incoming fax", the computer system on the study desk announced. After a long minute, he collected himself and went to the machine, patiently waiting until several documents fed through. It was probably another letter of condolance from one of his father's co-workers who had just recently emerged from an undercover mission and learned of his death. Lin wished the Preventers would send a memo; the half-dozen times this had happened in the month since his father's passing had only served to reopen the wound.

He ripped the last paper out of the machine and picked up the small stack. He was about to throw it on the desk without another thought, when the name on the coversheet caught his eye.

TO: Chang Lin

FROM: Heero Yuy

RE: Translation

December 10, 223 3:21:45 AM

Hastily, Lin flipped to the next page, finding it to only be a copy of his father's letter. The next page, however, was gold. Heero had recreated the kanzi that he recognized and written the English word for the character next to it in his precise, almost mechanical handwriting.

His eyes scanned the short list of words, some of which he had already found on his own. He held his breath, hoping to see the one character he most needed to see. After several minutes of examining the letter, Heero's character defintions and his own translated page, Lin looked up. His eyes were full of tears, but the pain was gone.

"I know now", he said to the empty room. "I know what I made him feel."

A great weight lifted from the boy's shoulders. With trembling hands, he copied Heero's words into his translation page. Besides a scant few blank spots, he had managed to do it. He had unlocked his father's secrets.

When he was done, he turned on the desk lamp, sat down and read his father's words to him.

~~Chang Lin,

I am not sure why I am writing ___. Certainly, I am not a writer. But I do have things that must be said at ___ moment. I am sitting next to your mother as she sleeps with you in her arms. You are a day ___ now. We waited for you for a very ___ time and now you are here. I wish I knew how to describe the way I am feeling. But having never thought I would feel ___ way, I do not. The only thing I can say is that looking at you makes me content.

I have spent my life hiding from contentment, afraid that with it would come weakness. But the last ___ I feel right now is weak. You are here. You are healthy. Your mother is here. Your mother is healthy. I am stronger because of these ___. I do not have to hide anymore. I will try not to hide again. But I do not know what __ of father I will be. I hope I will be one that you can be proud to have. For surely, I am proud to have you.

Chang Wufei, July 20th AC 207~~

****

December 31, 223
The former Sanq Kingdom
Earth

"What do you think? Do I scream 'available....husband gone and I'm available'?"

"No way. You look great, Mom."

"Really...red is a such good color on you."

Sally glanced in the mirror at her reflection. "I just don't know...." She ran her hands down her hips, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles in her cocktail dress. "Maybe I should have worn the black. Black is *the* mourning color."

Lin shook his head at his mother. "Mom...I think that Father would want you to wear what you feel comfortable wearing."

"And besides...." Jade held up the black dress. "Black is not such a good color on you."

"Thank you, daughter dearest." Sally swatted Jade playfully on her backside. "All right. I'll keep the red. But I'm not going to dance. I'm just going to sit at a table and..."

"Have a miserable time?", her son supplied.

Sally sighed. "I just can't believe Duo talked me into going to this thing at all."

"Mom, you haven't been out for a night since Father died. You should go and have fun. Future doctor's orders." Lin smiled broadly.

There was a second's pause before Sally reached for him. She kissed his forehead, leaving an imprint of her lipstick behind. "I'll try, baby." Clearing her throat, she reached into her suitcase and pulled out a gold chain. From the end of it, two matching gold rings dangled. Lin and Jade watched at their mother fastened the necklace and tucked the rings under her dress, as to hang them next to her heart. "All right....I think I'm ready. Now...what do you all have planned for tonight?"

Jade played with her mother's lipstick tube. "I think we're all staying here again this year. Even Ben."

"Yeah, Miss Relena got wind of his plan to sneak us all into some club on the mainland. She put him on 'Ana duty' and gave the nurse the night off. So he's stuck", Lin informed his mother.

"Well..." Sally sprayed on some perfume. Father's favorite fragrance on her, Lin recognized. "I can't say I'm too sorry about that. Still, have fun and try not to burn down the Peacecraft Manor. It's sort of a historic landmark."

Jade dabbed a bit of the bright red lipstick on her bottom lip. "We promise."

"No burning", Lin finished.

Sally smiled at her children. "You're too sweet, you two." Slipping into her high heels, she picked up her evening bag and walked to the door of the guest room. "Here goes nothing."

Duo was the first to notice Wufei's family walking down the stairs from the guest wing. "Ah...and the devastatingly striking Chang family makes their way down to greet the commoners." As Sally reached the last step, he took her hand and kissed the back of it. "If not for Hilde, five kids and twenty-six years of marriage...."

"You'd what?", his wife asked, innocently, as she approached them from behind in a floor length, navy blue evening gown.

Duo slipped an arm around Hilde's waist. "Nothing, darling." He gave Sally an exaggerated wink over Hilde's head. "I was just telling Mrs. Chang how lovely she looks tonight."

"One can't argue with that", Quatre appeared from the study, tugging on a pair of white gloves. "You do look stunning...as does Mrs. Maxwell."

Hilde grinned at the blonde man. "At least one of you guys knows how to deliver a compliment. There is hope for our children."

"We have to wear gloves?", Duo moaned, pointing to Quatre's hands. "I didn't bring my gloves."

"Take mine." Heero walked towards the group, holding out a pair to his oldest friend.

Relena followed her husband, trying to adjust a black satin stole around her arms as she spoke. "And just what are you going to wear on your hands if Duo has your gloves?"

Heero gave her a look. "Relena...I don't do gloves."

"I have an extra pair", Quatre supplied, earning him a death look from Heero.

Trowa came up behind Quatre with the extra gloves in his hand. "I figured Duo wouldn't remember his." He held them out to Heero who took them only after an icy stare from his wife. The kind of stare that promised a night on the couch if he did not comply.

Millardo and Noin joined them from the kitchen, Millardo in his formal tuxedo and Noin, resplendent in a muted silver evening gown. "Has anyone seen Edward or Abby?", Noin asked.

As if on cue, the newest couple appeared at the top of the stairs. Edward had a firm, but gentle grip on his wife's arm as he guided her down the stairs. "Careful!", he cried as she took the first step.

Abigail stopped on the step and put a hand on the hip of her violet gown. "Are you going to do this for every step on the staircase?"

"Just the ones that look shaky." Edward held on as she descended another step. "Careful!"

"Edward! It's a staircase not the Swiss Alps!", his very frustrated, four-month pregnant wife cried. "Mom..." She looked down at Noin who had a most amused look on her face. "Talk to your son!"

Her own mother looked at Duo. "Tell your daughter it's okay to be babied."

Heero looked at his watch. "We really do need to be going."

Noin made the international sign of 'OK'. "Doing good, Edward."

"Careful!", Edward said as he allowed Abigail to take another step down the stairs. Abigail sighed.

"Abby...take it easy on the poor guy", Duo advised his daughter.

Edward held onto her arm even tighter. "Haven't you ever seen 'Gone With the Wind'? Scarlett falls on the stairs and loses Rhett's baby!! Careful!"

"But Scarlett was trying to hit Rhett...he stepped aside and *then* she fell", Lin offered. Abigail smiled at him gratefully.

"Still need to be going", Heero reminded everyone.

"Where are the kids?", Quatre asked.

"Oh...they're all sulking around here somewhere", Relena informed him. "The limos are waiting."

Sally looked back at her children. "Have a good time."

"You too, Mom", Jade said. The front doors opened and the dressed up adults slowly streamed out to the driveway, still discussing gloves, babies and Scarlett O' Hara. Once the door was closed, there was a great whoop from the library. Ben, Eve, Adam, Amani, Victoria and Celeste emerged with little Anastasia running to keep up.

"Are they gone?", Ben asked Lin. The Chinese boy nodded. Ben turned to the others. "It's time..."

Lin raised an eyebrow. "Time for what?"

Celeste raised her arms over her head and did a little shimmy. "Party time!"

"What did you have in mind?", Jade asked, getting into the spirit of rebellion.

Victoria smiled sweetly. "My brother doesn't have a plan, Jade. Plans are for the weak."

"But...I do have a mission." Ben adopted his 'serious' voice, a mock interpretation of his father's normal speaking tone. "To get each and every one of you drunk before AC 224." He looked at the grandfather clock in the foyer. "I have exactly three hours."

Adam shook his head. "Good luck, Yuy. Is Ana included in this debauchery or have you managed to forget about her?"

"Yeah...did you forget me?" Anastasia looked up at her brother with wide blue eyes.

Amani reached out and fluffed the little girl's hair. "Don't worry, baby....I'm not going to drink." She gave Ben a look of defiance. "No matter how much your brother whines."

Ben looked her up and down with the eye of a hormone-lad teenager. "I don't think Trowa would mind if you drank, 'Mani."

"But Mr. Quatre would have a fit", Eve supplied, winking laviciously.

Lin cleared his throat. "I won't be drinking."

Jade rolled her eyes. "Typical. So typical."

"I'm not drinking either", Adam spoke up. He tried to catch Lin's eye, but the other boy looked away.

Ben threw up his hands. "You all are hopeless! Who's drinking?" Celeste, Eve and Jade raised their hands. He grinned. "Me and three girls....I like the odds here."

Celeste made a face. "Don't gross me out, *cousin*."

"All right...me and *two* girls", Ben amended.

Lin and Adam spoke at the same time. "Hands off my sister, Yuy." The boys exchanged a look for a brief second before Lin looked away once again.

Ben held up his hands. "I'm not touching anyone..." He looked at Amani. "Yet."

Victoria rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself, Benji."

"I'm crushed", Ben put his hand over his heart and raised a finger at his sister. "Anyone planning to have a good time, follow me. Anyone who wants to watch Dick Clark like a good boy or girl....well, just stay where you are."

Adam grabbed his twin's arm as she started to follow after Ben, Celeste and Jade. "Eve, don't do anything dumb."

"Could you possibly be anymore boring, Adam?" Eve wrenched her arm away. She looked at Lin coyly. "Are you sure you won't come and have a drink with us, Lin? You won't be bored...I promise."

Lin blinked at the obvious innuendo in her voice. "That's okay, Eve. I'm going to stay and...um...be a good boy." He could almost feel Adam's eyes boring into him.

Eve heaved a great sigh and left them in the foyer, making sure that her hair swung across her back, provacatively. Amani took Anastasia's hand and with Victoria, started for the TV in the library. Lin found himself alone with Adam.

"So...are we Dick Clark-ing it?", Adam asked, breaking a minute of silence between them.

Lin smiled weakly. "He doesn't die, does he?"

"Android", Adam supplied. "Our children's children will be watching him ring in the New Year." There was another, uncomfortable pause. "So...how are you doing, Lin?"

Wufei's son thought for a moment. "I'm doing really well. Surprisingly well."

"Well....that's good." Adam stuck his hands in his pockets. "The last time we talked, you were..."

Lin interrupted him. "About that. I shouldn't have..."

"No, *I* shouldn't have." Adam lifted one hand from its pocket and scratched the top of his head. "I caught you totally off guard at a time when you were already feeling lots of....feelings. And it was wrong of me to assume that..."

"I wasn't mad that you kissed me."

Adam blinked. "Really? But you..."

"I was confused." Lin looked up at the grand chandelier that hung over the foyer. "I still am...but it's getting better. And I realize now that...pushing you away was really just distancing myself from something that I didn't want to admit..." He stopped. "I don't express myself very well."

"No." Adam shook his head. "You do."

Lin lowered his gaze back to the other boy. "Do you think we can talk? Somewhere...away?"

"The Peacecraft Manor has over 45 rooms..", Adam began, sounding very much like a tourist brochure.

"No...somewhere really away."

Adam thought for a minute. "There's a place that I like to go to when I'm here." His violet eyes twinkled. "We'll have to ditch the others and find some sort of transportation. You up for an adventure?"

"Yeah..." Lin smiled. "I am."

****

The cemetery was deadly quiet in the last few hours of the year After Colony 223. Chang Lin followed Adam Maxwell closely, weaving through the headstones with only a bit of apprehension. The grass was icy under his feet; it crunched with every step. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets for warmth.

"We're almost there", Adam said, noticing the movement. "You sure you're up for this? I know cemeteries can't be your very favorite place to be after..."

"It's all right", Lin assured him. "Father isn't buried in any cemetery." He reached out and touched a headstone as they passed it. "I kind of wish he was. I mean....I don't have anywhere to go."

Adam exhaled, his breath visible in the cold air. "Dad says the place isn't really necessary. That when he needs to talk to Grace, he just...talks. But..." He looked at the moon. "Everytime we're on Earth, he finds his way here. So...who knows?"

Lin gave him a curious look. "How come you come here, too?"

"I don't know. I mean, it's not like I ever knew her. I've seen the pictures, heard the stories....but she's just kind of this memory that Eve and I don't have...but everyone wants us to carry it anyways. I guess on some level we love her, though. And it feels kind of nice to come here." He stopped. "And here we are."

The headstone was worn from sixteen years of weather and wear. Winter grass covered the flat land in front of the marker, but Lin could see how pretty it would be in the spring months. "Grace Deborah Maxwell", he read off the stone. "It's nice to meet you."

Adam touched his sister's grave and sat down next to it. "She probably would have been glad to meet you, too." There was a long pause. "Death's kind of a funny thing isn't it?"

Lin joined him on the ground. "Funny?"

"Well...not thigh-slapping funny", Adam corrected himself. "But...can you ever say someone really dies? Even if their body gives out, there's still a part of them that hangs around, right?"

"In our memories", Lin said softly.

"So, the only people who really die are those who never really *lived* when they were breathing." Adam was quiet for a second. "Did you find out about your father, Lin?"

Lin swallowed. "I found out enough." He closed his eyes. "I found out what I needed to know." After another pause, he continued. "Death may be funny, but fathers are just...strange."

"I know mine is", Adam laughed. "But that could just be him."

"No...I think it's all of them. All fathers, all around the world. They made us...we get half our genes from them. But it's like...that's not enough. They want us to be just like them. But we can't be...can we?"

Adam pondered his words as he lay back on the grass. "No. I don't think we can be. But I think....I think that's just a way of loving someone. And maybe it's not so much that they want us to be them, but they want us to be better than them."

"Your father and my father and Ben's father and...Amani's fathers...all our fathers..." Lin shook his head. "They saved the world once, Adam. We can't ever be *better* than them."

"Okay then...they want us to *have* it better than them. I mean, look at us. We'll never have to fight in a war. We'll never have to put our lives on the line or know what it's like to kill someone." Adam took in a breath. "We got a childhood. A good childhood. Whatever you can say about our fathers...you have to at least admit to that." Adam let Lin think about his words before he continued. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking...that I can't be mad at him anymore because he didn't know how to tell me all the things he should have told me. I'm thinking that I would give anything..." Lin felt a tear escape his eye. "...*anything* to be able to thank him for making me...and loving me. In the only way he knew how."

Adam sat up. "Then...tell him."

"What...you mean just...talk? To the air?"

"No. Talk to him."

Lin's look was ladden with skepticism. "I don't know if that would..."

"Just try it." Adam laid back onto the ground. "What can it hurt?"

The cemetery was quiet until Lin took a breath and opened his mouth. "Father...I have no idea where you are...or if you're even capable of conciously hearing what I have to say, but..." He paused. "I don't remember ever telling you that I loved you. I did. I do. And I think I'm always going to. You're my...my dad. And I miss you." He looked down at Adam who indicated for him to go on. "I wish I could have told you all of this when you were here. But since Adam seems to think you're not dead..." Adam laughed and Lin continued. "...now will just have to do. So...um...thanks...Father. I think I'll....be okay now."

He felt fingers brush against his own. Adam's fingers. "You will", Adam echoed his statement. "Feel better?"

Lin smiled. "Yes. Thank you."

The fingers intwined with his. "Don't thank me. I didn't do anything."

"You have no idea." Hesitating, Lin laid back on the grass beside Duo's son. "Why did you kiss me in the fencing hall?"

Adam stared up at the stars; his fingers did not leave Lin's. "Because...you looked like you needed it."

"Is that all?", Lin asked quietly.

Another pause hung between them. "No. I kissed you because you're smart. And you have this sense of humor that you don't even know you have. And you're the only guy I know who hasn't fallen into my sister's little...love trap."

"The only guy?", Lin laughed. "What about Ben?"

"Summer vacation, two years ago. I caught them kissing behind the poolhouse."

"I thought he was after Amani."

Adam shrugged. "I guess he and Eve got bored with each other. Why are we talking about them anyways?" The pad of his index finger gently stroked Lin's. "When there are so many other, better things to talk about?"

"Like what?", Lin whispered.

Instead of replying, Adam rolled over enough to give him a soft kiss. "Many things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax."

Lin caught his chin and returned the kiss. "Cabbages and kings."

"See? No one else I know would pick up on that." Adam touched Lin's face. "There isn't anyone in the world like you, Chang Lin. Whatever your dad did or didn't do....he turned out a really great person."

"I could say the same about your father."

Adam kissed him again. "Fathers....strange things."

"People", Lin conceded, letting Adam's hand slide over his hip. "Really amazing things."

The world fell away for a minute as they kissed under the moon, on the cold grass that was somehow warm beneath them, heated perhaps by the great affection and growing passion between them. As they pulled apart, Adam's face sobered. "Should we go back to the Manor? Make sure it's still in one piece?"

Lin shook his head. "I know exactly where I want to ring in 224. And it's not watching Ben get drunk." He wrapped his arms tighter around Adam. "Happy New Year, Adam."

"Happy New Year, Lin." Adam brushed his lips across Lin's. "May 224 bring you happiness, prosperity, wisdom and..." He raised an eyebrow. "Love?"

"More love", Lin amended. "223 wasn't so bad to me in that respect."

**Life wasn't so bad to me in that respect...was it, Father?**

****

June 5, AC 224
The former Sanq Kingdom
Earth

"Violet."

"Blue."

"Violet."

"Blue."

"Are you blind, Millardo?? Her eyes are violet! Any idiot can see that!!"

The man in question looked down at Duo with an air of contempt. "No, it takes a special sort of idiot to think the child's eyes are violet, Maxwell. Her eyes are blue. She's a Peacecraft and her eyes are blue."

"She's only *half* Peacecraft. The rest of her is Maxwell....and by God, her eyes are violet!!"

Abigail reached for her month old daughter, gently whisking her away from her grandfathers. "Are you two quite finished or should I feed her right here while you argue?"

Millardo stepped back. "Just you wait, Maxwell. Someday you'll see her looking up at you with wide *blue* eyes and you're going to realize just how wrong you were."

"Ha!" Duo laughed loudly. "Don't be so sure."

Abigail scowled good-naturedly. "Dad...and Dad. I love you....go away!"

Still arguing, the two men quickly left her alone to feed little Emily Ophelia. Their wives were waiting for them in the kitchen. "Violet versus blue. Round...I lost count ten rounds ago", Hilde sighed, taking a sip of tea.

Noin added a drop of cream into her cup. "It keeps them off the streets."

The sound of someone shouting reverberated through the house. "Hello?? Is anyone listening??"

Duo made a great show of looking around, as though the walls were speaking. "I'm here, God...."

The voice continued. "Where the hell is my cap??"

Hilde stifled a giggle with one hand and pulled on her husband with the other. "Ben lost his graduation cap."

"But he still has the gown." Noin poured Millardo a cup of tea.

"Yikes." Duo sat next to Hilde at the kitchen table. "Wait til Heero gets wind of that."

"You know...if you had half the common sense I must have passed on to you, you would remember where you put things", Heero's voice, abnormally raised, floated down to the kitchen from the second floor.

Millardo shook his head. "He still hasn't learned, has he?"

"Who...Ben?", Noin asked.

"No. Heero." Millardo added sugar to his tea. "He and his son are about as far apart in temperment as..." He thought for a second. "Duo and Adam."

"Hey!", Duo protested. "Adam and I have *tons* in common!! We like...um...sports. And...um..." He looked at Hilde for help.

"Hunting for things", she supplied.

"Yes." Duo grinned. "We shoot ducks together."

Millardo raised an eyebrow. "You have death in common."

"Darn tootin!"

Relena stalked into the kitchen, exasperation in her eyes. "Has anyone seen a black, square hat with a gold tassel?"

"It went that way." Duo pointed to the foyer.

She glared at him. "You are oh-so helpful." She disappeared through the servant's entrance.

Duo glanced around the kitchen. "Speaking of Adam, where is the kid?"

"I think I saw him and Lin playing pool in the study", Millardo answered.

The braided man jumped to his feet and rubbed his hands together. "Terrific! Pool....one of the many things my son and I have in common. You'll team up with Lin, Mr. Her-eyes-are-blue. Me and Adam will wipe the floor with you!"

Downing the last of his tea, Millardo stood up. "You're on."

As they walked across the foyer, they ran into Quatre and Trowa. "What are you two doing?", Quatre asked pleasantly.

"We're proving the age old adage...like father, like son", Duo replied. "Want to be witnesses?"

Trowa shrugged. "Do we look busy?"

Together, the four men approached the study. "Nothing in common, my ass", Duo muttered confidently, looking back at his friends as he reached for the sliding door and pulled it open.

Quatre's jaw fell open. Trowa blinked. Millardo stared. Duo looked puzzled until he turned around and glanced into the study. Upon seeing his son and Wufei's son completely wrapped up in one another, his face became an unprecedented shade of white.

After a moment, Millardo reached around Duo to slide the door closed before the two teenagers noticed them watching. "Like father, like son?", he couldn't help but ask.

Duo recovered from his shock and narrowed his eyes. "Fine. They're blue!!" With that, he started up the stairs. He brushed past Heero without a word as his oldest friend joined them from the second floor, a black graduation cap in his hands.

"What's wrong with him?", Heero asked.

"Another two for the team", was all Trowa would say. Quatre shook his head. Millardo snorted.

Heero nodded as though it all made perfect sense. And on some level...it all did.

~~~~