Resident Evil- How Stupid can you get?

Disclaimer- I own nothing. I would like to dedicate this story to my dear friend of mine, Tangora. As well as to wertzy, Evil Fang, brokenkey, Sweetboxer, and SPG inc. You guys rock!

Chapter One- The pointless Meeting

As the day slowly went on Captain Albert Wesker continued to stare at the ceiling as he counted the many dots. Why you might be asking? The truth is, we don't know nor do we want to know. The point is he's being doing this all day, without any luck. The only other person in the S.T.A.R.S. Office was Brad Victors, but no one wants to hear what he's up to. I mean you only hear his winy voice through out the game. But we'll be nice and tell you that he's talking to himself while he reads a book.

"One of these day's you'll pay dearly, oh yes you will!" He then starts to laugh manically.

Now if you look closely at the book in his hands the title is: How to kill a Redfield By Sara A. Wesker. Now normally someone with brains would wonder if Brad was on something but when we find one...we'll tell you. Cause at that moment Chris Redfield shows up causing Brad to stop laughing and eye him.

"What is wrong with you! Stop looking at ME!" Yeah that's right; he's an arrogant little bastard who thinks he's good with the ladies but not so bright. I mean it took him two years to figure out what a gun was.

Anyways, with that little outburst Brad goes back to reading the book which he continues to tell people is a self-help book, which I personally believe they all need. But then again it might not help them, so just as Chris finds his seat Jill Valentine, Barry Burton, and Joseph Forest walk in. Now, this pointless meeting can get started. That is if Wesker comes back to the real world, but this doesn't happen until...

"Ready okay! Wesker, Wesker can't you see! We need to find some weed!" (A/N: I've never cheered in my life, so please forgive me) Right after Jill's out cry, she believe's she's a cheerleader, Wesker finally snaps out of it.

"Alright, let's get started shall we?" After a few minutes he turns around and looks at his team. "So you're all here, let's get this meeting started."

Okay I won't bore you on what the man said...why? Cause he goes on for like two hours talking about the variouos plans on how to survive in the mall. Not that this would help them when they get to their destination.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT?" Barry yells all of a sudden.

Joseph looks over at him slightly annoyed, "Barry for the last time, you do not hear a voice from this place called 'Canada' !"

Yep, that's right. Barry truly believes he can hear me. Even though I'm not really saying this...only typing it down, this is really weird. Moving on, even though the meeting continues to go off topic and Chris tires to get a date with Jill, who will just leave him in the end for Carlos Oliveira. Barry ignores Joseph and looks around the room tying to see if he can spot me, Joseph seems to be the only normal person in this room till...

"Friday night and the lights are lowww. Looking for a place to gooo." Now if you didn't get it, he thinks he's on a stage preparing for a musical. It's called; Two dummies go so high.

Before anyone can say anything to this the radio in the back goes off. "Can anyone here me?" The voice belongs to Enrico Marine.

"No, it's just Barry's imaginary author trying to make us look stupid." Everyone then looks at Chris wondering what in god's name is he talking about.

"Funny Redfield...anyways, we'd like to order a large pizza with extra cheese..."

Soon you can hear someone getting their head smacked then Rebecca's voice over the radio. "You stay awya from the radio! We need help! We're going down, so I'm wasting time telling you this as there is no point to this part!" The line goes dead. Thank god.

Doing an overly dramatic jump Wesker addresses the team. "We have to save them or I won't be in the next chapter!" He then runs out of the room leaving the team behind more cluesless, if that's possible.

Just as Wesker finally makes it to the helicopter he finds his team there and ready. Why? Cause I said so, that and I can't think of a good way to show just how stupid they really are.

"Don't worry Ashley, I'm coming for ya!" Tha was the last thing Wesker said before they took off to find the now missing Bravo team.

Okay I stopping there, why? My lovely sugar high is gone. (Looks sad) Oh well. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought of this Later!