Oh I hath loved thee ever-so-much since thine day hath come…
(one shot of love and passion and love and stuff…)
Disclaimer: I don't own this story… my brain does…
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Gold Stars: (I give everyone who reviews 577 gold stars to fund their own stories…)
Well… this is my masterpiece of love, and oppression, and love, and passion, and love, and wow, and it's amazing, and I cried, and WOW!
(yes I may technically be on a break from writing right now but hey... thats just a break from GOOD storys...)
C. Falcon walked along the dark hallway with sadness. He had always loved Sandbag, ever since the day he slapped her with his Homerun Bat up into the air just to watch her splat into the ground in horrific agony. He let a tear fall from his eye as he thought of how they could never be together. He was but a lowly famous racer with millions of dollars and a fan-club. She was a big time get-slapped-in-the-face-person for a big time two dollars an hour. These thoughts of despair were quickly put to an end when the door in front of him opened and Sandbag came squirming out of Dr. Mario's office as he told her something about avoiding any form of contact. His thoughts began to race. Now was the chance he had hoped for. Tonight he could profess his love for her.
"SANDBAG!" C. Falcon cried into the air dramatically as he jumped into the air.
"AHH! WHAT THE HELL GET AWAY FROM ME YOU IDIOT YOU ALMOST KILLED ME LAST TIME AND I DON'T WANT TO GET SLAPPED AGAIN NO PLEASE! THE DOCTOR SAID I COULD DIE NEXT TIME YOU TRIED THAT! PLEASE NO! OW! THAT HURTS! GET OFF OF ME YOU FREAK! ARG!" Sandbag cried, this simple statement was all C. Falcon needed to hear.
"I love you too!" C. Falcon said with a tear in his eye, he then shoved his face into Sandbag nearly suffocating himself as Sandbag cried in pain.
"Lets take this to the bedroom!" C. Falcon yelled and ran to his bedroom in a heartbeat.
"Well… that was interesting…" Dr. Mario said scratching his head and then turning around to notice that his office had been replaced by twenty three and a quarter tons of beans. "Not again!" Dr. Mario sighed and slapped his face, knocking himself out cold.
Over in C. Falcon's room things had heated up.
"Oh Sandbag!" C. Falcon said on his knees bowing to the mangled… thing. "I want to profess my love for you in ways before unthinkable!"
Sandbag shuddered at this. "OF COURSE IT'S UNTHINKABLE! YOU ARE TRYING TO DO… STUFF… WITH A SANDBAG!"
C. Falcon looked down on his soon-to-be lover, he cried as he remembered the first time he laid eyes on such beauty, he was in the fields picking flowers. All the times he wished he could be together with Sandbag had finally come true. He could at last show her how he really felt.
"WILL YOU STOP!" Sandbag screamed in a plea for mercy. C. Falcon didn't seem to notice as he was drooling while looking at the wall. Sandbag tried to squirm away, but being a big bag has its downsides, and Sandbag had no chance of movement.
"I love you, but this may hurt, tell me if you're okay with this" C. Falcon said showing how gentlemanly he could be.
"GET OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW AND LET ME BE FREE!" Sandbag screamed.
"I love you too!" C. Falcon cried hugging Sandbag in a swarm of tears, using her skin as a hanky as he sobbed on and on.
C. Falcon shoved his face into Sandbag again, this time he did suffocate from the lack of oxygen he had brought on himself.
"Oh Sandbag, remember… I will… always… love…" and with this C. Falcon died, and Sandbag hadn't been violated… too much…
"Okay that SUCKED! I WANT TO LEAVE THIS INSTANT!" Sandbag yelled. But not everything ends well in the Smasher Mansion. As Sandbag attempted to escape she was imprisoned for murder of a Smasher. She tried to get out, but having no legs, this was impossible. The memory would always live on, scarred into Sandbags heart. She wouldn't, and couldn't forget him.
There it is! (sobs) THAT WAS THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD!
Well… review me and tell me that you loved me and flams are not allowed… I will use… WATER (get it… HAHAHA!) on you if you try to flam… and yeah…
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And then give me some money…