Uncanny Deadpool II

Chapter 35: Lady Mandarin Returns

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics

The street outside Deadpool Inc. HQ-

Deadpool climbed off the crushed car that he had just crashed upon with a groan.

'Man, that's gonna sting come morning.' The Merc-With-A-Mouth grimaced as he rubbed his back.

'Wilson, yer wife's gone nuts.' Logan pointed out. 'She stole my sword an' almost killed me in the process.'

'Do you think I didn't notice that the missus has gone mental?' Deadpool responded as he held up the bleeding stump that was once his left hand. 'Do you know how long it'll take to grow back? No, look at Mister Unbreakable Adamantium Skeleton over here.'

'We gotta do somethin' before she starts hurtin' any innocents.' Logan advised.

'Oh yeah, and what do you suggest?' Deadpool asked.

'Get outta the way!' Logan yelled as he dove for cover. Deadpool looked upwards to see Lady Mandarin leap out of the window with her sword drawn.

'Eep.' Deadpool yelped before Logan grabbed hold of him and yanked him out of the way.

Lady Mandarin landed upon the crushed car, narrowly missing her husband.

'Where do I get me some of those awesome ninja powers?' Deadpool grinned. Lady mandarin didn't say anything in response as she lashed out with her sword, aiming to take off Deadpool's head. 'Oh, right. Keep your mind on the job at hand.' Deadpool remembered as he went for his own sword. Then something dawned on him. 'Aww, turds. My swords're upstairs. I don't suppose you wanna wait until I head back up and get them, do you?'

'Die!' Lady Mandarin yelled as she went at Deadpool with her sword again.

'Guess not.' Deadpool said as he rolled out of the way.

'There's only one way we can end this, Wilson.' Logan stated.

'No way, man.' Deadpool shook his head. 'I'm not gonna kill my wife, no matter how mental she is!'

'I was talkin' about that funk necklace around her neck, ya idiot.' Logan shot back. 'it's obviously controllin' her somehow. It just don't smell right.'

'And I thought that stink was your aftershave.' Deadpool quipped. 'No? Nothing? Fine, I'll get the necklace. You distract her while I make a grab for it. Hey, you never know, if she ends up killing you, I could get your slot in the New Avengers. It's about time that book had a shot of awesomeness in it, don't you think?'

'Just grab the damn necklace, Wilson!' Logan yelled as he duelled against Lady Mandarin, adamantium claws against ancient Japanese sword.

'Easier said than done, Badger.' Deadpool responded as he tried to circle around his wife. 'The lady's pretty stab-happy, y'know.'

'She's your wife, do somethin' about it!' Logan shot back.

Once he found a satisfactory opening, Deadpool leapt on Lady Mandarin's back and made a grab for the necklace around her neck. Unfortunately for him, she was a lot stronger than she looked. The mind-controlled woman grabbed her husband and threw him straight through the windscreen of a nearby car.

'Ow…'

'C'mon, Betts…' Logan tried to calm lady Mandarin. 'You know this ain't you. Sure, Wilson's an annoying son of a bitch, but ya don't have to kill him. Think of yer kids!'

'Yeah!' Deadpool called from inside the car he had just been thrown into. 'Somebody think of the children!'

'Die!' Lady Mandarin yelled as she lashed out with her sword again, this time taking Logan by surprise and slicing him across the chest.

'My quarrel is not with you, Wolverine.' Lady Mandarin said as she prepared for a killing blow. 'But you have forced my hand. Nobody may stand in the way of reaching my objective!'

Lady Mandarin's boasts were cut short by the sound of a gun shot. Logan spun around to see an injured Deadpool leaning out of the car with a smoking gun in his hand. He had just shot the jewel in the centre of the necklace Lady Mandarin had been wearing to pieces. With the source of her mind control destroyed, Lady Mandarin collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

'Man, people should really take more care of the stuff they keep in their glove boxes.' Deadpool said as he pocketed the gun and checked on his wife.

'She's still alive, Wilson.' Logan told the Merc-With-The-Mouth. 'It's a hell of a risk shootin' her like ya did. Where the Hell did ya learn to shoot like that?' Deadpool simply shrugged in response.

'Seven-Eleven.' (1)

The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning-

Betsy woke up to find herself in the Xavier Institute's infirmary being tended to by Moira MacTaggart and the rest of her staff. Wade and Logan were also there, waiting for her to regain consciousness.

'What happened…?' Betsy groaned. 'The last thing I remember was coming home after doing some shopping. There was a parcel sitting on the table. Some sort of necklace…'

'A really tacky necklace at that.' Moira said, indicating the destroyed hunk of jewellery that was laid out on a counter. 'Do ye have any idea who might have sent it to ye?'

'I just assumed it was a present from Wade.' Betsy responded. 'He isn't exactly well-known for his taste in jewellery.'

'Hell, even I know better than to buy you a piece of crap like that.' Wade chipped in. 'Although, with that silly jewel shot off it does look pretty neat.' The Merc-With-The-Mouth picked up the golden chain and put it around his neck. 'Look at me, I'm Mr T! Grr! I ain't getting' on no plane!'

'Give it a rest, Wilson!' Logan growled as he snatched the necklace away. 'This ain't the time to start screwin' around! We gotta find out who sent this thing.'

'It would be easier to make a list of who didn't send it.' Betsy said. 'You have a habit of making a lot of enemies, love.'

'Yeah, I hear where you're coming from.' Wade nodded in understanding. 'An enemy like you, Logan!' Wade pointed a finger at the Canadian mutant in accusation. 'J'accuse, Badger!'

'Wade, stop it.' Betsy shook her head in exasperation. 'Logan didn't send me this necklace. Maybe we could get Doctor Strange or somebody to find out if they can trace whoever sent it magically?'

'I suppose it's worth a try.' Moira said. 'Yuir free to go now, Betsy. Apart from a few bumps and bruises, yuir perfectly fine as far as I can tell.'

Betsy slowly got up off the bed and headed out of the infirmary. She turned to regard Logan and her husband.

'I suppose I owe you two an apology.' Betsy said. 'I almost killed you both.'

'Aww, think nothing of it, honey.' Wade grinned as he put his arm around his wife's shoulders. 'What's a little gratuitous violence between family?'

TBC…

Next: There Can Be Only One

Wade is kidnapped by the one responsible for all the necklace nonsense in an attempt to put him down for good. Somebody isn't going to walk away from this mess.