Void

You can remember yourself as a boy. Pale, and skin so soft and round that you could've been mistaken for a girl.

And what a pretty girl you would've made. With those wide green eyes, soft face, and that little tinkering giggle that made everyone go "aww."

You were such a pretty boy. You were the son of a traditional and upscale family. You were intelligent. You were coordinated. You were oh so very talented. And you were ever so beautiful, such a gorgeous little boy.

But you were never a normal boy.

You were graced with powers, with such divine intuition, with such empathy.

But the empathy hurt.

You could feel others emotions. You could feel it even more when they touched you.

There was no point was there though. Why would you need the ability to feel what others felt when it was splayed clearly and painfully across their faces. Those looks of hate, horror, disgust…

Shame…

How could they bear being related to someone so unnatural, someone that was a freak? A someone that isn't even a someone. A thing, a monster. You were nothing but an embarrassment.

You remember those nights alone, locked up in your frigid cage, the light of the moon making the shadows of the bars cell stretch and reach for you. You could remember in your monster filled dreams how those shadows would claw and grab hold of you, cruel tendrils wrapping around your limbs and frail waist, pulling you further into the darkness, the world created into your heart.

You never cried out in your state of sorrow, never screamed when dark visions plagued your nights, never complained when they spoke those hurtful words about you.

They locked you up in your cell whenever you showed your curse; they deemed that a sharp smack to the face seemed a suitable punishment for disobedience.

Crying in silence. Curled up in a little corner, silent tears falling down your face earthbound. That's all you could really do. And on the nights of the new moon, when there was nothing but shadows extinguishing the light in your eyes, crying in silence was all you had. There were no shadows reaching for you, you were already pooled in them. And as you felt like you were floating in a dark cold void, salty tears were the only offer of warmth.

And during the day there wasn't the comforting warmth that would normally accompany the light. You were alone, ignored and left to your own devices beyond the required schooling. You learned that if you made yourself invisible, and stayed out of their way, you would save yourself from their disappointed and cruel stares. Being left alone was the only way you learned to get by. While part of you yearned to be near them, to indulge yourself in their hugs, a larger part of you would always hold you back. Their touches would do nothing but hurt you, make you bleed.

Being left alone was a much kinder fate.

And on one fateful night, when sleep could not hold you, you ventured out for a walk. The obi holding your yukata together was starting to come undone, but with the heavy feeling welling up inside on that eerie night, it seemed insignificant. A darkness inside your heart was calling to you, leading you down the grassy path, calling to you like a siren calls a sailor across a black ocean.

Your footsteps followed obediently, one after the other. The air was warm and stuck to your skin in moist brushes of wind. It smelled of earth and grass, and there was a sweet quality to it that you couldn't put your finger on.

Putting out your hand, a delicate pink petal landed gently on your palm. Before your initial surprise had wore off, the wind had already carried it away, the white glow of your hand bathing in a crimson hue.

Still walking, the earth around you appearing the shade of blood, you could see two figures under a Sakura tree in the distance. More petals blew past your face, lingering sweetness in the air as more moisture kissed and left stickiness on your bare skin.

It wasn't until moments later when you discovered why the sweetness left a bitter taste in your mouth.

And for the first time in the night, you cried, screamed, and pleaded for the pain to stop

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