Title: And every time it rains…

Author: Miali

Series: Naruto

Summary: Every day Kakashi makes a trip to the memorial. However, the days in which it rains are set aside in memory of a different person. KakaIru deathfic.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me and neither do the song snippets. They're from Rain Song by Cold.

A/N: My first real angst story… Constructive criticism encouraged! No flames though. D:

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One year ago:

When it rains I don't mind
Let me stand here all night.
Did she take her own life?
Let me know she's all right…

It was mid evening on a Thursday. Iruka's favorite song was on the radio, a melancholy tune about rain and death. Kakashi half-listened as he dozed lightly on Iruka's plush couch, the chuunin next to him grading papers. He smiled sleepily as a pretty sunset filtered through the window in the kitchen and highlighted the chuunin's face. He began to close his eyes as Iruka spoke.

"Ah, Kakashi," The jounin was awake again, looking at his lover.

"Hn?"

"I have a mission tomorrow night, I'm going to rain country to deliver some documents… I should be back in a few days." Kakashi nodded and settled back into the cozy comfort of the couch. It was unusual for Iruka to take missions. He had one the coming night as well, so he just calculated it as a necessary thing and went to dozing off again.

Iruka smiled at the half-asleep jounin and turned back to grading his papers.

---

One day and one week later:

And every time it rains
I feel her holding me.
And every time it rains
Are the angels crying?

It rained through the entirety of Kakashi's mission. It was a fairly simple A-rank mission complete with the usual amount of blood and death. The sharingan user found himself both thankful and annoyed by the ever present wetness. He was not Iruka, and did not have a fondness for rain, nor the cold wet feet that came with it. His enemies however had been sand ninja, and were more out of their element than he was, and thus he was thankful.

As the copy nin trudged through the gates of Konoha, he thought of nothing but Iruka and the merits of drying off and climbing into bed with his lover. It had been a week and Iruka's mission should have been finished. Wet boots slipped and sloshed up the wet metal of the apartment steps. When he reached the top, Kakashi had found an ANBU waiting for him. No words were exchanged, none were needed. Kakashi knew as he stared blankly at the rain pouring down around him.

Tags were collected, a funeral was had. A week later the ninja academy hired a new teacher.

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Present:

I'll stay strong, I'll be fine.
Carry on with my life.
I still stare at the sky
Pray for rain, all the time


Why'd you run? Did you hide?
Why'd you leave, no good bye?
When the clouds, take the sky
Does the storm give you life?

Blue sandals stepped across a silver puddle. It was mid evening and the unseen sun should've been setting. Gray clouds filled the sky and the rain poured down. The gentle sound nearly drowned out the soft mournful humming that came from two lips and filtered through a deep black mask.

Kakashi walked toward the memorial. He knew the place well, the deep gray rock that shone black in the rain. The names each welled with water, which slid and dropped like the tears shed for loved ones. He came here daily, to speak with his team, all on the list. One had given him an eye, the other unreturned love. To speak with his teacher who had been more of a father than his father had. But on rainy days they weren't the ones he was visiting. Rainy days were reserved for Iruka.

Kakashi stood before the monument, his pale fingers tracing and retracing Iruka's name. The humming had grown to a whispered song, the last song he had been listening to with Iruka.

And every time it rains
I feel her holding me.
And every time it rains
Are the angels crying?

And every time it rains
I feel her holding me
And every time it rains…

The song suited the man. It spoke of death, such a reality for shinobi, and of rain, Iruka's favorite weather. The song was interrupted by the soft smell that a year still hadn't erased. He closed his one visible eye as he felt tanned arms wrap around him and the smell grow stronger. The memory of a man pressed against him, a face resting against his shoulder. In his mind, Kakashi could still see that smile and the way his scar crinkled and darkened beneath the chuunin's blush.

Rain ran down his skin and soaked through his mask, it mixed with the tears he didn't know he'd shed. Kakashi opened his eyes slowly and turned, as he had done every rainy day previous. The last notes of the song were crying to be sung.

The tanned arms disappeared and the smell quickly faded.

…All the angels cry for me.

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Okay, so I'm not any good at angst. And I killed Iruka! What have I done?