Title: If Not Now… Chapter 7

Author: Adrienne

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters.

Note: Sorry this part took so long to write. The semester just started for me and I've been running around like crazy. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner. Parts of this chapter are told from Abby's POV. Those parts are in italics.

It's the beginning of March now, and spring is just around the corner but you wouldn't be able to tell that from the looks of the streets of Chicago. They're as snowy and slushy as ever, but that's just as well for me, because I feel hot every second of the day. The ER is like a constant sauna and I wish that I could get away with wearing shorts and a tank top to work but I don't think that Kerry Weaver would appreciate that very much.

I'm a little over four months pregnant now and there is a distinct little bump on my formerly flat stomach. My clothes are starting to get tighter and tighter with each passing day and if I had any idea that my weight gain would excite Luka this much I would've packed on a few pounds a long time ago. Every time he looks at me, he's smiling; glowing in fact, when I thought that I was the one who should be glowing with pregnancy. Earlier in my life I would have pulled away and run from so much attention but now I bask in his constant pampering; it's definitely something that I could get used to.

The morning sickness has passed now, but the insomnia is still there, but I've put the extra time to good use, planning and making lists of what we need for when the baby comes. Sometimes though, I just lie in bed next to Luka, looking at his peaceful face and feeling so grateful that I have what I have. I feel like I've changed so much in the past few years. Ten years ago if you asked me where I would be at this point in my life I would have told you that I would be single and working, no children, no commitments, no real responsibilities, but now I couldn't imagine my life any other way than what it is right at this moment.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Luka moaned and without looking reached out and smacked the alarm clock. Seven am was too early to be getting up. Instinctively, he rolled over and reached for Abby but her side of the bed was empty and nearly unrumpled. Dragging himself out of bed, he made his way downstairs where he found Abby dusting. The kitchen looked immaculate, the floor had been mopped, the dishes were washed and put away and everything was in its place. Luka didn't think that he had ever seen his apartment so clean.

"What are you doing?" Luka asked.

Abby jumped at the sound of his voice. "Jesus, Luka, you scared me!"

"Sorry," he said, and walked over to her, taking the rag and spray bottle out of her hands. "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning," she said, making a funny face, like "What do you think I'm doing?"

"At seven am?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"You should at least lay in bed and rest. You need your rest."

"I know, I know, it's just that I knew it was a mess down here and I figured that as long as I couldn't sleep I might as well do something productive."

Luka sighed and smiled, embracing her. "Are you nesting?"

"Nesting?" she asked, looking up at him with a smile. "When did you learn that English term?"

"Haha," he told her. "Danijela did the same--" he stopped himself at that.

Abby put her hands on both sides of his face. "It's okay to talk about your wife and kids, you know."

Luka just nodded. "Hey! Don't feel guilty or shy or whatever it is," she told him. "I like hearing about your family and how much you loved them, and I know that they are always going to be a part of your life, of our life. I want to know everything, so don't be scared that I'm going to be threatened or jealous or anything like that… Okay?"

"Okay," he said, leaning down and touching his forehead to hers. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too," she whispered, kissing him. "So what were you saying about Danijela?"

Luka smiled at the memory. "She did this whole nesting thing, both times she was pregnant. She…she would be vacuuming in the middle of the night, painting the baby's room, folding and refolding all of the little baby clothes, reading all of the parenting books." Luka laughed. "It would drive me nuts, if she couldn't sleep, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I'd hear her doing all of this stuff… She really loved being pregnant."

Abby smiled and kissed him again. "…You know, I don't want to force you to talk about things that you don't want to talk about… I just don't want you to be scared to tell me these things if you do want to tell them to me."

"I know… I'm just afraid of making you…I don't know, uncomfortable about all of it."

"Don't ever worry about that. It doesn't. I want to know about all of the things that are important to you."

"Ditto."

Abby laughed. "More American slang. What, have you been reading a book about it or something?"

"Maybe," Luka said coyly.

Abby laughed again, taking the dusting rag back from him and whipping him in the butt with it.

"Oh, you'll pay for that later."

"Oh, will I now?"

"Yup."

Smiling, Abby did it again and ran into the kitchen. Luka followed her and backed her into the corner of the counter and kissed her passionately. "What kind of payment are you looking for?" she asked him devilishly as he kissed her again.

Work is more exhausting now than ever before, and not just because I'm tired from the pregnancy. Luka and I are both so excited about this baby but we haven't told anyone yet except for Neela and Kerry, and keeping this secret is more tiring than I thought it could be. I catch myself about to tell Chuny or Haleh about the baby all the time, and then remember that we said we would wait for another few weeks, just in case something happened.

I checked my blood sugar at work the other day and Ray walked into the lounge just as I was doing it; I had a hard time explaining what I was doing to him. As much as I want to tell people, I'm a little afraid, especially of what Sam will say. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or angry; we've never really been close, even as coworkers and I don't want to do anything to make the situation ugly for either of us. After all, it's been less than six months since she and Luka split up; if I were her I would be hurt. I know I was hurt when Carter came back from Africa with a pregnant girlfriend on his arm; you can't help but be hurt when someone who you thought cared about you so much finds a replacement for you so soon.

I know that I shouldn't worry about any of this, that it will all work itself out in the end. Things always seem to one way or another. After all, Maggie was able to finally pull her life together, a feat that I didn't think she would ever accomplish. She calls every week now to check up on me and the baby, and I've got to say that I look forward to and enjoy those calls. It finally feels like she's being my mother and I think that this closure has come at exactly the right moment for me.

Abby tossed and turned in bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Eight am. She had been staring at the clock for the last five hours, listening to Luka snore and occasionally mumble things in Croatian. It was bad enough that she had just worked an exhausting fourteen hour shift, but then she had been able to get in only a few hours of sleep before her body decided to wake up and refuse to fall back to sleep.

The thought of the upcoming day terrified her. She and Luka were going to go shopping for some baby things, which she was excited about, but then Sam was bringing Alex over for a few hours to play some video games and eat some pizza and he was going to break the news about their relationship and the baby to his former girlfriend and her son. Abby had made plans with Neela while Luka was doing this to diffuse some of the tension in the situation. She felt butterflies in her stomach whenever she thought about it and tried to ease them away by telling herself that everything would turn out okay.

Finally, Abby turned over and faced Luka. "Luka," she whispered. He moaned softly. "Luka," she said a little louder. No reaction. She poked his arm repeatedly and then he finally opened his eyes briefly.

"Yeah?" he finally said, still half asleep.

"Wake up," she said in a sing-song voice.

"Too early. More sleep," he muttered groggily.

"What are you going to say to them tonight?" Abby asked him.

"What?" he asked, confused, finally opening his eyes again.

"What are you going to say to them tonight," she repeated.

"Alex and Sam?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know, whatever comes to me, I guess," Luka told her.

"You mean you haven't thought about what you're going to say?"

Luka sat up in bed and drew Abby closer to him. "Of course I have, but I really don't think it's going to be as big of a deal as you think it's going to be."

"I just don't want them to be angry with you or hate me or anything."

"They're not going to hate you."

"How do you know? You know how attached Alex is to you."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that he won't understand."

"I guess… But what about Sam? What if she starts hating me and turns all of the nurses at work against me?"

Luka tried not to laugh. "That's not going to happen. The nurses love you, and it's not like Sam has anything against you."

"Yet."

"Don't worry so much. It's going to be just fine. You're going to go out tonight and have a good time with Neela and when you get back everything will be settled."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Abby and Luka were walking through a shopping mall later that afternoon, just browsing in the windows and looking for a baby store. They walked passed a maternity clothing shop and Abby looked at the pregnant women inside of it, then looked down at her own stomach. She couldn't imagine getting that big.

"You want to go in there?" Luka asked. "You'll have to get some maternity clothes sooner or later, you know."

"Don't remind me."

"Especially for work, you know, like maternity scrubs."

"Maternity scrubs?" Abby said skeptically.

"You know, like Carol used to wear when she was pregnant with Kate and Tess."

"I'm not going to get that big. I am just having one baby, you know."

"You never know," Luka said, smiling.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! I'm just saying, that it is possible that we might have twins."

Abby gave him a look. "No, it's not. Twins don't run in my family."

Luka just shrugged. "What?" she asked him. "They don't run in yours, do they?"

"Uhhh, just a little."

"Just a little?" Abby asked him, stopping in her tracks. "What does 'just a little' mean?"

"Well, a few of my cousins are sets of twins, and my mother's father was a twin."

"We're not having twins," Abby said firmly.

Luka just laughed. "Don't worry. And anyway, having twins could be great."

"Great," Abby just repeated, and Luka laughed at her again. "Well, I only saw one baby on the sonogram," Abby said, reassuring herself.

"Sure, but one could be hiding behind the other and we wouldn't see it at this stage."

"Oh God, don't say that!"

Luka couldn't help himself and laughed again and Abby smacked his arm. Still laughing, he kissed her.

"I'm hungry," Abby said as they continued walking.

"Again? We just ate lunch."

"I'm pregnant, I can eat whenever I want."

"See, maybe you are having twins," Luka said with a smile.

"What do you think of this crib?" Luka asked Abby.

"That one's nice. But I think I liked the one we saw in the other store better. Oh! We should get one of those Pack n Play things."

"What's that?"

"You know, it's like a play pen, but it folds up really easily so you can put it in a corner or something when you're not using it."

"Oh," he said. "This is cute," he said, picking up a stuffed puppy dog.

"Yeah, it is, but I think that you've picked out enough toys for the baby to play with until he's five."

"He?" Luka asked, raising his eyebrows.

"He or she, either way," Abby said, noncommittally.

"Well, one more toy can't hurt," Luka said, adding it to the already full cart of baby things.

Abby laughed. "You're going to spoil this kid to death, aren't you?"

Luka just shrugged, then something caught his eye. "Hey, isn't that--"

"Abby?"

Abby looked in the direction of the voice and an expression of dismay crossed her face. "Richard."

Richard walked over with his obviously pregnant wife in tow. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said, without expression. "You remember Luka Kovac, right?"

"Right, we met at the hospital last time your mom went off the edge," Richard said, nodding at Luka. Luka saw Abby's body tense up at the mention of that incident, and put his hand on her back. "And you remember my wife, Karine?"

"Yeah, hi," Abby said. The woman just nodded at her silently.

"So what are you doing in a baby store?" Richard asked.

Abby cleared her throat. "Well, um…"

"We're having a baby," Luka said.

"Really?" Richard said, not bothering to hide his shock. "Well, congratulations Abby, I never thought that you'd be a mother, not after all the crap that you went through with your own."

Abby just glared at him. "Maggie's just fine now, actually, and has been for a couple years."

"Really? Well, I guess some people really do change," Richard said. "So are you two married? I don't see a ring."

"No, we're not," Luka told him.

"Not going to make an honest woman out of her, Kovac?" Richard inquired, mispronouncing his name.

"It's 'Kovac'," Luka corrected him, but Richard just ignored him.

"That's really none of your business anyway, Richard. And I think I learned my lesson the first time around with you," Abby told him, and walked away.

Luka followed her and Richard called out, "Always a pleasure, Abby."

Once they had paid for everything and got back to the car Abby finally broke her silence. "I hate him! I hate him!"

"Don't let him get to you Abby, you know that's just what he wants," Luka told her.

"Well, that's easy for you to say, you don't have an ex-spouse running around town who you just happen to encounter at the most awkward and inopportune times!"

Luka was silent, knowing it was pointless to argue with her on the subject of Richard. "God, he hasn't changed at all! Still an asshole!" Abby continued. "'Make an honest woman out of her'," she muttered.

"He had a point on that one," Luka said quietly.

"What?" Abby said in exasperation, looking at him.

Luka sighed. "We're having a baby together. We love each other. Don't you want to get married?"

Abby continued looking at him and then looked down at her lap. "Luka, we've talked about this… I just… I'm not ready."

"Not ready for a commitment?"

"We're having a baby together, isn't that a commitment?"

"Abby, what are you so afraid of?"

"What do you think I'm afraid of? Didn't you just witness firsthand the disaster that my first marriage was?"

"It wouldn't be like that with us. I'm not Richard, and you're not the same as you were when you married him. I'm not going to treat you like that and I'm not going to cheat on you or leave you or ignore you."

Abby sat in silence for a few minutes. "I'm just not ready yet, Luka. I need some more time. All of this has happened so fast, and I just want to make sure that it will be right if we do get married… Okay?"

"Okay," Luka said.

"I do love you. And I want to be with you… But getting married again scares me, you know?"

"I know. And I love you too," he said, taking her hand. "I understand, just take the time that you need. I don't want to force you into something that you don't want because I want this to work too."

Abby gave a little smile. "Thank you," she whispered and squeezed his hand tighter.

"Augh, I'm fat!" Abby said, giving up on trying to button a pair of jeans and collapsed back onto the bed.

Luka laughed. "You're not fat, you're pregnant."

"Same thing," Abby moaned. "I'm never going to get these pants on," she said and threw them onto the floor.

"You could wear a pair of my pants," Luka said.

"Haha. Not only am I not that big, but I also haven't magically grown a foot in the last five minutes."

"Just trying to be helpful," Luka said, leaning down and kissing her.

The doorbell rang. "Shit, is that Alex and Sam already?" Abby asked, running to the closet and pulling out another pair of pants.

"Probably, I'll go check," Luka told her.

Abby heard voices talking happily as she finished dressing and she made her way downstairs with some apprehension. As she came into view, Alex said, "What is she doing here?"

"Alex!" Sam said, smacking his head softly. "Sorry, Abby," she said.

"Hey Sam…Alex," Abby greeted them.

"What?" Alex asked. "And what happened to your apartment, Luka? There's all this girly stuff here now." Alex and Sam both looked to Luka expectantly for an answer.

"Umm…that's what I wanted to talk to you guys about tonight," Luka said.

"Well, I've got to go or I'm going to be late picking up Neela," Abby said, in a hurry to get out of the room. "I'll see you guys later," she said and Luka brushed his hand across the small of her back as she walked passed him. Abby gave him a weak smile and left the apartment. As she was walking down the hall she heard Alex asking more questions and was happy to not have to be there for this particular discussion.

"So what is going on, Luka?" Sam asked. "Are you and Abby living together?"

"Yeah, we are," he said. "We have been for almost two months now."

"Wow," was all that Sam could say. She seemed surprised but not necessarily angry. "I didn't even know that the two of you were dating again."

"So that means that you and Abby are having sex, right?" Alex asked.

"Alex…" Sam said exasperatedly. "Don't talk like that."

"There's something else that I need to tell both of you and I wanted to tell you, Sam, before everyone at work found out…"

"Okay…" Sam said apprehensively, not knowing what to expect.

"Abby's pregnant. We're having a baby."

Alex and Sam just looked at Luka, neither knowing what to say. "Pregnant?" Sam managed to get out. Luka just nodded her head. "Well… Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Well, I've got to go, I'll be back for Alex in a couple of hours," Sam said and got up off the couch and started walking towards the door. Alex went over and turned the TV on and started playing a video game.

"Are you mad?" Luka called after her.

"No. Why would I be? It's not like it's any of my business anyway," she said and opened the door.

"Sam," Luka called after her and he closed the door behind them in the hallway so Alex wouldn't hear their conversation.

"What? What do you want? I told you 'Congratulations,' I'm happy for you, okay?"

"You seem mad."

"Why would I be mad, Luka? So you went and knocked up the first girl you could find like, what, two months after we broke up? From what I heard around the ER, it's not the first time you've done that."

"It's not like that, Sam," Luka said quietly, still smarting at the memory of Nicole.

"No? What's it like then?"

"I love her," Luka said simply. "I always have. It was never really completely over for either of us and it just…happened. We just found each other again, and it wasn't because I wanted to find someone who wanted to have a baby, we didn't plan this and I don't want to hurt you, I just don't want you to be angry with me, or with her."

Sam looked like she had been slapped in the face. "…Did you ever really love me? Or was that just all a lie?"

"It wasn't a lie. I did love you. And I love Alex, and I'll always care about both of you, no matter what you think about me and Abby."

"That's great, Luka," Sam said and walked away from him. Luka sighed, rubbed his hands over his face and walked back into the apartment.

"Hey," Abby said as Neela got into the car.

Neela gave her a small smile. "Hey."

"So where do you want to go?"

"I don't care. Let's just go to Ike's, I feel like getting really bloody drunk tonight."

"What's wrong?" Abby asked immediately.

"Nothing," Neela insisted. "Can't I just want to get drunk?"

"You never drink unless you're upset about something."

Neela was silent as they drove to the restaurant. "Michael wants to go back to Iraq."

"What? Why?"

Neela shook her head. "Something about how he can't live with himself if he stays here when he knows there are people over there who need his help."

"Wow. Is he actually going to go?"

"I don't know. He said he's been thinking about it for weeks, but he never said anything to me before a few days ago."

"I thought he was going to start as the new R2 at County."

"So did I."

I know that Luka is pushing to get married, but I'm just not ready, at least not yet. I know he's not Richard and that he would never treat me like that but a part of me is still too scared to make that kind of commitment. Deciding to have this baby together was difficult enough for me, and I want to take things slowly, and make sure they are right before rushing into anything.

I know that having this baby together makes it seem like we should get married. Maybe we will after the baby's born. But I've screwed too many things up in the past to put our relationship in jeopardy now and I hope that Luka realizes why I want to wait. We've only been back together for about six months now. It's too soon for me, and even though this time around things are different, I don't want to make any of the mistakes that we made last time.

I love him, and I'm not afraid to say it or feel it. I love him more everyday and I know that I want to be with him, but the thought of marriage still scares me. It's something that I need to work out for myself, but not by myself. I learned that lesson too many times. I know that this is something that we need to work through together because running away from him and ignoring the elephant in the room doesn't work; I know, I've tried.

Abby turned the key in the lock and opened the door. So much for a fun night of just the girls. Neela had been depressed and sullen the entire time, not that Abby could blame her. She walked into the apartment and heard the television on and saw Luka and Alex still seated in front of it playing video games, an empty pizza box and soda cans beside them.

"Hey," Abby said.

Luka and Alex turned around. "Hey," Luka said. "How was your night with Neela?"

"Depressing."

"How was yours? Did you guys have fun?"

"Yeah," Luka said, lacking enthusiasm. "We had a good time. Right, Alex?"

Alex kept staring at the television set and didn't answer him. "Alex?" Luka said again.

"Yeah, it was fine," Alex said sullenly.

"We should stop playing and pack up your stuff," Luka said. "Your mom will be here soon."

"Just another couple minutes," Alex said.

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Abby told them and walked to the door. Sam was waiting expectantly.

"Hey," Abby said.

"Hey. Is Alex ready?"

"Almost."

"Come on, Alex. Time to go," Sam told him. "Pack up your stuff." Alex got up, turned off the television and began putting his things into his backpack. "Thanks for hanging out with him tonight," Sam told Luka. Abby sensed that things between them were strained.

"No problem. Anytime," Luka said with a small smile.

"Look… I'm sorry about what I said before. I didn't mean it. This all just caught me by surprise," Sam told him quietly.

"It's okay," Luka replied. "I understand."

"So we're okay?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

"Good."

"Ready," Alex said.

"Okay, come on, let's go," Sam told him. "Goodnight, Abby. And congratulations," Sam said with a smile. She and Alex walked out the door, and Alex looked back at them angrily before the door closed.

"So, how did it go?" Abby asked.

Luka sighed and sat down on the couch. "Could've been better. Sam and I got into an argument at first, but we're okay now and Alex… Well, he barely talked to me the entire night."

"I'm sorry," Abby said, sitting beside him.

Luka shook his head. "I'm sure it'll be okay. He just needs some time to adjust… So why was your night depressing?"

"Well, Michael told Neela that he wants to go back to Iraq so she spent the night drinking and getting more and more incomprehensible. She literally stumbled up the stairs to her apartment when I dropped her off."

Luka winced in sympathy. "Is Gallant going to go?"

"I don't know. He just kind of sprung this on her."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah."

Abby settled back in Luka's arms, and he tightened his embrace around her, putting his hand on her stomach. "…You know what scares me?"

"What?"

"…Michael and Neela seemed so in love just a few months ago and now it looks like they might break up. I thought that they'd be together forever, even if they rushed into things, and just seeing how two people who love each other so much can break up in an instant…"

"That's not going to happen to us," Luka told her, turning her face towards his. "It's not. And maybe it feels like we rushed into this but we've known each other for a long time, we have a lot of history. You know me better than anyone has since Danijela and I would never do anything to break us up."

Abby looked intently into his eyes, knowing he was right. "…I'm just scared that something could come up and everything we have could fall apart."

"I won't let it."

"What if you go back to Africa?"

"What?"

"Don't you want to? I know that you always meant to go back at some point. Do you still want to?"

"…Yes, a part of me does because I know how much the people over there need help, but I would never go if you didn't want me to, especially not now. I would never do that to you," Luka said, remembering when Carter had come to Africa against Abby's wishes.

"I'm sorry," Abby told him.

"For what?"

"For doubting you, for doubting us… I'm just scared sometimes."

"Don't be. I'm not going anywhere," he said, pulling her tighter and kissing her.

Abby was standing at the admit desk finishing some paperwork when she heard Clemente's voice. "Yo! Lockhart! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"You sent an unstable patient up to CT unattended."

"What are you talking about? No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. You're just lucky I was up there with a patient of my own cause yours coded."

"What patient?"

"Miller, MVC, he had a borderline pressure."

"Well, I didn't send him up unattended, I sent an intern with him."

"You know these interns don't know shit. He didn't have any idea what to do when the patient crashed. You know, I expect these dumbass mistakes out of Morris, but not out of you, got it? Don't you ever do this again!"

Abby looked at him for a few seconds and tears began welling up in her eyes and she ran off to the lounge.

"What the hell is her problem?" Clemente asked.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sam asked him. "That was completely inappropriate, bitching her out in front of the whole ER."

"What's going on?" Luka asked, walking up to the desk.

"Clemente just screamed at Abby in front of everyone," Sam told him.

"I didn't scream at her, and then she just ran off into the lounge crying like a little girl," Clemente said, defending himself.

Luka took a few steps toward him. "Don't you ever do that again. Got it?"

"Look, just because she's your girlfriend does not mean that I can't reprimand her for a stupid mistake."

"No, it is inappropriate for you to do that to anyone in this ER."

"Yeah, whatever."

"No, I mean it. Now, go apologize to her."

"Are you kidding?" Luka just looked at Clemente sternly and he walked off to the lounge, followed closely by Luka.

"Jeez, what's Abby's problem anyway?" Morris asked. "Clemente does that to me like ten times a day and I don't run off crying."

"Shut up, Morris," Sam said.

"No, Abby has been kind of moody lately," Ray said.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Morris said. "Plus, it looks like she's been packing on a few pounds around her--"

"Shut up, Morris," Neela told him.

"What is she, pregnant?" Ray joked.

Neela and Sam looked at each other. "She totally is, isn't she?" Ray said.

Neela and Sam both laughed nervously. "No, she's not," Neela told him. "That's just ridiculous."

"She is!" Ray exclaimed.

"Who is what?" Chuny asked as she, Malik and Haleh walked up to the desk.

"Abby's pregnant!" Morris told them.

"Seriously?" Haleh asked.

"I didn't think she and Kovac were that serious," Malik said.

"It's none of your business anyway," Sam told them.

"Ha! So it is true, they told you, huh?" Morris said.

"No one told me anything. Just leave them alone," Sam told everyone.

Luka and Clemente found Abby in the lounge on the couch, wiping her face with a tissue.

"Hey, Abby," Clemente said quietly. Abby looked up at him. "So, yeah, anyway, sorry about before. I didn't mean it. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just snapped."

"Yeah, whatever," Abby told him.

"Look, uh, if you want to take the rest of the day off, that's cool," Clemente said.

"I'm fine," Abby assured him sullenly.

"Okay," Clemente said and left the room.

"You okay?" Luka asked, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah… I don't know what's wrong with me. Must be pregnancy mood swings. Usually I would've just screamed back at Clemente, not run off crying."

"It's okay," Luka told her. "Want to go home?"

"No, I'm fine. I just want to get back out there."

"Okay," Luka said, leaning in and kissing her.

Neela opened the door and cleared her throat, averting her eyes when she saw them kissing. "Uh, sorry to interrupt, but I think everyone just found out."

"Found out what?" Luka asked.

"That Abby's pregnant," Neela said sheepishly.

"You told them!" Abby asked.

"No, they just kind of figured it out on their own."

"Who's they?" Abby asked.

"Morris, Ray, Chuny, Haleh, Malik and I'm sure by now Pratt, Jerry and Frank know."

"Great," Abby said sarcastically.

"Should we just go out there and tell them?" Luka asked.

"I guess," Abby said grudgingly. "We were going to have to tell them all sooner or later anyway."

"Ready?"

"Now?"

"No time like the present."

"I'll go gather everyone up," Neela said.

"What are we going to say?" Abby asked Luka.

"I don't know. 'Abby and I are together and we're going to have a baby'?"

"How about you do all the talking?"

"Okay," Luka said, laughing, as he got to his feet. He offered his hands to Abby to help her up.

"You know in a few months I'll actually need your help standing up," Abby told him.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure I'm there every time you need to stand up."

They both looked hesitantly at the lounge door. "Okay, let's just get this over with," Abby said.

They walked out into the ER and up to the admit desk where everyone was pretending to be busy doing something. "Everyone," Luka said, and the staff looked up innocently.

"Abby and I have an announcement to make. As I'm sure you've all noticed in the past few months, Abby and I are back together," Luka said.

"They were together before?" Morris whispered to Frank, and Frank just rolled his eyes.

"And," Luka continued, "We're going to have a baby."

Immediately everyone started screaming and congratulating them, hugging Abby and asking a million questions.

"You know, if you're lucky, the little bugger will turn out looking like me," Morris said when he congratulated them.

"Four nipples and all?" Abby asked, holding back laughter.

"How did you--I mean--who told you--?" Morris stuttered.

"Morris, you should've learned by now that freaky secrets don't stay secrets for long around here."

"Pratt!" he yelled, going off in search for Greg. Abby just looked at Luka and laughed, both of them happy that they could finally share their news with their coworkers and friends.

Finally being able to tell everyone about the baby was such a relief. I feel like this enormous weight has been lifted off of me. Even Sam came up and gave me a hug and congratulated me again. I know it must be hard for her, so I really appreciate the gesture.

Everything is really coming together now, with the baby news out in the open, and being able to share our happiness with everyone. I still worry about things everyday, like the possibility of gestational diabetes, and some unforeseen event coming up and breaking me and Luka apart once again, but I push these thoughts out of my head as much as I possibly can. I know I shouldn't worry; it's just an old habit.

But now I lay in the darkness of our bedroom and feel Luka's sleeping body next to me, his chest pressed against my back and the gentle rhythm of his breathing and I just feel grateful for everything that I have right here in this room.