Author: Scealai
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to and including 'Asylum'
Summary: Sam and Dean have to work through their issues with each other when an overnight stay at a mysterious truck stop motel forces them to confront their deepest fears and maybe split the brothers up for good.
Disclaimer: The characters for 'Supernatural' were created by Eric Kripke and belong to Kripke Enterprises, Wonderland, and the WB.

Part One

His brother was an ass. A stubborn, macho ass that never listened. Sam shot a glare at said brother from the corner of his eye. After they had left the Roosevelt Asylum, Dean had driven as far away from the place as his injuries would allow and then stopped at the nearest motel where he had slept for the next twelve hours. Sam had spent that time in guilty silence, following his brother's lead without protest. Dean hadn't wanted to talk about what had happened and since Sam had been the one who had tried to kill him, he had respected his older brother's wishes. But when his pigheaded brother had woken up, he had insisted that they leave immediately. Sam had spoken up then - arguing that Dean was in no condition to drive. Dean had just stared at him and told him to pack up before disappearing into the shower.

That had been two days ago. Two days and they were still living in tense silence. Sam had tried to get them back on track by asking where they were going next and what the job was when they had stopped briefly for the night at some other nondescript motel, but Dean had just shrugged and offered a noncommittal grunt as an answer before sacking out on the other bed. Sam was pretty sure that Dean had no idea where the hell they were going and that there was no job. He was just driving so he wouldn't have to deal with Sam and what he had done. Sam was tempted to smack his brother upside the head for being a stupid idiot, but he had done enough damage already. Dean was hurting. Sam could tell by the way he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white, matching the paleness of his face. Sam winced. This was his fault and it was about time that he did something to fix it. He reached out and shut off the blaring metal music thrumming from the car radio.

"You've been driving for almost sixteen hours, Dean. We're stopping at the next motel." Sam stared at his brother, daring him to argue.

"Fine." Dean shrugged. His eyes stayed trained on the road and suddenly Sam wanted to scream at him. He wanted shake Dean and yell and throw a major league temper tantrum like he had when he was five and they had actually stayed at a place long enough for Dean to make a friend and he had spent all his time with him instead of his pesky younger brother. He wished Dean would hit him, at least then he would be acknowledging his existence. He hated it when Dean ignored him.
He wanted his brother back, he needed him.

In the darkness, a red neon sign suddenly appeared. Sam was about to point out the blinking vacancy part when Dean abruptly swerved off the highway and drove into the empty parking lot. Once the Impala had come to a stop, Sam opened his door and jumped out. "I'll get the room." He hurried into the office, casting a look back at Dean. He didn't like what he saw. Dean had leaned his head back on the seat and his eyes were closed. His invincible older brother looked defeated.

"Hello," the man behind the front desk greeted Sam, interrupting his worried perusal of his brother. He stood up and smiled. Sam blinked. The desk clerk was very tall. It wasn't often that Sam had to look up at a person and he found he wasn't quite comfortable with it. There was nothing menacing about the man, he looked rather ordinary with short black hair and pale blue eyes. Despite his size, Dean would have categorized the man as a geek and dismissed him. The man raised an eyebrow. "Would you like a room?"

"Uh, yeah." Sam shook off his uneasiness, he was probably just tired, and dug into his jeans for his wallet. He handed the clerk a credit card - his credit card - and decided he would worry about how he would pay it off later. "A double please."

"Okay." The clerk looked around Sam at Dean in the car. "How long will you and your friend be staying?"

Sam frowned. This was a roadside truck stop in the middle of nowhere. He doubted that it was a premiere vacation spot. "Just tonight. My brother got tired of driving so we decided to call it a night." Sam signed the register and the credit card slip the clerk handed him and then scooped up the key. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Sam. I hope you and your brother enjoy your stay."

"Thanks." Sam nodded politely and left the office. Dean was still slumped in the driver's seat looking exhausted. Sam reached through the window and touched his brother's shoulder. Dean's eyes popped open immediately, but Sam was a bit disturbed that Dean hadn't grabbed his hand or made any other defensive move. "We're in room five. Do you want me to park the car?"

"Nah, I got it." Dean waved him away and Sam stepped back. He watched as Dean reversed and drove the car over to park in front of room five. He was about to follow when a prickling sensation raced across the back of his neck. Sam turned to look behind him. The clerk stood in the office doorway, staring in Dean's direction. When he noticed Sam looking at him, he waved good-naturedly, but it did nothing to ease Sam's nerves. This 'shining,' as Dean liked to call it, was making him jumpy.

"Sam, you coming or are you planning on sleeping in the parking lot." Dean yelled from the car. Sam immediately jogged over to him.

"Sorry." Sam shrugged sheepishly to counter Dean's glower. He hesitated before grabbing his bag from the backseat. "You know, maybe we should keep moving. I could drive."

"No way, I'm beat and you've already paid for the room." Dean hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What's your problem, Sam? First you tell me to pull over at the next motel and now you want to drive all night?"

"Nothing. Desk clerk just gave me the creeps." Sam sighed as he unlocked the motel room door. He briefly considered elaborating on his hinky feeling about the clerk, but there really was nothing to elaborate on.

Dean just grunted as he pushed past Sam into the room. They were back to that. Sam slammed the door shut behind him and stalked into the dark room. Fine, if that's the way Dean wanted it, that's the way it would be. He was fed up with his brother's attitude. Sam flopped down on the bed nearest to the door and shut his eyes. He heard Dean close himself off in the bathroom and the shower start up. It was Dean's way of avoiding him. Sam rolled over onto his side before opening his eyes. He stared at the slit of light at the bottom of the bathroom door. They couldn't go on like this, it was going to get one of them killed and Sam was terrified it would be Dean. His older brother's reflexes were off and he was tired all the time and it wasn't just his injuries that affecting Dean. Something essential was missing in Dean and Sam didn't know what it was or how he was going to give it back.
He was pretty sure that he was the one who had taken it.

The water shut off and a few minutes later Dean opened the door. For a moment, before Dean snapped the bathroom light off, Sam caught a glimpse of his chest. It looked like it hadn't healed at all. The bruises were a deep, violent purple, a horrible backdrop for the vicious red welts and stark white bandages that covered the wounds from the rock salt. Sam closed his eyes again, feigning sleep. He waited until Dean had settled and his breathing evened out and slowed in sleep before getting up and getting ready for bed himself. He laid back down on his side, watching Dean sleep. "Please don't die, Dean," he whispered softly.

Sam's eyes opened and he gasped loudly. He didn't remember falling asleep, but while he was he had rolled over onto his back and he was now staring at the ceiling. Immediately, he threw himself over onto his side, breathing heavily. He glanced over to the other bed to make sure he hadn't disturbed Dean. It was empty. Sam frowned and checked his watch. It was one thirty in the morning. He had been asleep for less than an hour. "Dean," Sam called out, rubbing his eyes and swinging his legs out to sit up on the edge of his bed. "Dean, you okay, man?"

The bathroom was dark, but that didn't mean anything. If Dean was sick then he could have stumbled in there without turning on the light. But whey the hell wasn't he answering? His brother was so goddamn stoic. Dean feel pain? Never! Sam rolled his eyes as he flipped on the light. "You know the rule, big brother, if you puked it, you clean..." The bathroom was empty. They were in the middle of nowhere. There wasn't a town for miles and there was no bar or anyplace for Dean to go to blow off some steam. He wouldn't wander around alone at night, not in unfamiliar territory. Sam flipped off the light and stumbled back to sit on Dean's bed. "Dean." Sam meant to call out again, but it came out as barely a whisper. He stared at his hands in his lap. His pounding heart battled with his raspy breaths for the loudest sound in the room. He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough. Damn it, why hadn't he listened to his feelings? Why hadn't he pushed Dean into the passenger seat of the Impala and took off? There was no way he could...but how could he not?

Sam dashed the tears from his eyes and shut them tight. He laid back down on the bed. "Please, Dean, please don't be up there," he choked. There was one thing that Sam knew for sure. If Dean was ripped open and pinned to the ceiling above him, Sam was not going to let his brother die a fiery death alone. There would be no one to pull him out of the room and he would not leave his brother. It would be over. The thing that had killed their Mom and Jess would win. Sam opened his eyes.

To be continued...