Seventh Chapter – Sweet Exoneration

One drop of your obsessive acid can make my ever-delirious heart placid.

A little before the clock struck twelve in the Hogwarts castle, it began to rain. Albeit, it wasn't the typical shower that ended with lots of sunshine. It rained in torrents—great torrents—and the wind was blowing so hard every drop hitting a windowpane produced sound and force much like that of a stone being thrown. Thunder and lightning struck almost every twenty seconds. Trees swayed violently, even the stubborn Whomping Willow. One of pagan religion would've seen it as an outward sign of the gods' anger for something dreadful done anonymously, and they were looking at him as he cried under the safety of his warm sheets.

Harry simply could not let it go. He didn't know why he felt so bad—Cedric had only told him he was the reason for his breakup with Oliver but never accused him whatsoever—and he knew he was being stupid. But those tears in Cedric's eyes said more than what his mouth actually did, and they were saying that he by no means ever wanted the relationship to end. It was because of Harry, all because of Harry that two people experienced a lot of grief. He deserved the pain he was going through as he tried to cry himself to sleep, though he was sure he ought to have more.

Hearing the rain seemingly attempting to break the windows and possibly the walls, Harry was allured by the sound. It may have been the temporary insanity the situation had brought him, but the spattering of liquid against solid seemed almost like an orchestra nature was playing beautifully, and it was all for Harry to enjoy during his time of misery. He got out of bed at once. There was no need to get his glasses because he still had them on; they were a bit wet with his tears. The music played on and on, its volume increasing at every step its only audience member made upon the cold stone floor with his bare feet. Once out of the warm boundaries of the Gryffindor Common Room he walked, in a rather fast pace, along the dark hallways of the castle. He could hardly see anything but he had the rain as his guide. He knew he just had to follow the sound intently in order to be led to the heart of the wondrous melody.

Harry came to a small square portion within the castle that was already outside. He saw the violent rain as violinists and pianists, drummers and flute players, bassists and trumpeters. The crescent moon that was still slightly visible despite the dark clouds was the conductor. Harry decided it polite to bow first before going inside the "auditorium". After doing so, he stepped into the rain.

At first it made his skin shiver, but after he got used to the coldness Harry began to enjoy himself. The music of the rain made him drunk; the embrace of the wind gave him and inner warmth. The joy he felt out there was amazing. Nothing could've compared to it.

And then it struck him. The rain slowly died down, carrying its music away with it. Harry heard the delightful harmony turn into that of a sad song. He realized that it was over between him and Cedric. He had caused him much pain in the past and for Harry to show himself to Cedric again might only make him recall his horrible memories. Harry knew he had lost every right to see his dearest beloved, because he was only his burden.

Harry went back to the Common Room in silence.

"I never thought it could rain inside!" exclaimed the Fat Lady when Harry said the password. He ignored her and walked up to the bedroom. He sat on his four-poster, dripping wet and producing a huge blot of water on the mattress. All the coldness he had been numb to in the rain came back to his skin. He quickly got out of his clothes and left them on the floor. He toweled himself dry before he lied down. As soon as he had placed his glasses on the side table, he fell into a deep slumber.

"Ack! What're you doing here, Hermione? This is the boys' dormitory!"

"Sorry, Seamus, but Ron told me about Harry,"

"He's still sleeping. Look at his clothes. Looks like they just got out of the wash or something!"

"Is he…completely naked?"

"You want to see?"

"Shut up, Ron! Anyway, how did he end up like this?"

"We don't know. I was the one who woke up first—"

"Yeah, because you were scared of the thunder,"

"Ron, stop teasing Neville,"

"Fine,"

"Uh, so I saw Harry, and I never thought he slept without his clothes on. And then I saw them on the floor. There was water everywhere—Dean nearly slipped on a puddle next to his bed,"

"You don't really have to say that, mate,"

"Sorry. So I woke Ron up because he's Harry's best friend and all—"

"One of his best friends,"

"Right. And then he told you, and now we're talking about him, and you asked if he was totally naked—"

"Enough of that. Have you tried waking him up?"

"Nope,"

"Ugh. Boys…Harry. Harry wake up. Harry!"

"You're all so loud!" complained Harry in a drunken voice. He turned to lie on his chest and placed his pillow above his head, holding it in place. "And talk somewhere else, will you? Or better, go to Hogsmeade,"

"Haven't you got a letter this year?" asked Hermione. "I know you have one,"

Harry let go of one end of the pillow so that he was looking at all of them," I have a letter, but I don't feel like going right now, okay?" He held on to it again. Hermione wasn't going to let him sleep, though. She took the pillow and, closing her eyes, she pulled his blanket off him. The boys gasped at what she did. Harry was on the bed in his birthday suit and very much exposed.

"You are so stubborn," scolded Hermione, turning her back at him and blushing. "Get out of bed; you are going to Hogsmeade with us whether you like it or not,"

Harry opened one eye, and then the other, sat up, put his glasses on, and stood. "I don't really mind being naked in front of everybody, but because your voices are already ringing in my ears, I'll go," Hermione closed his eyes when he passed by.

"Your clothes mate—!" said Seamus! There was a shriek from downstairs. "Too late,"

Harry went back, causing Hermione to shriek and run downstairs. "What's wrong with her?" he asked.

The boys merely shrugged.

The air was damp and the sun was still behind the clouds when they went to Hogsmeade Village. While Ron and Hermione were browsing for sweets (the all-new Meowing Cat Candies for the former and boxes of Quidditch Memorabilia Chocolate for the other) in Honeydukes, Harry chose to stay in the Three Broomsticks and wait for them while he drank some butterbeer. He looked around the inn. There were a few witches and wizards but all of them were much older than he was. All of the students seemed to be in the other shops.

As he gulped down the last of his drink, Harry heard someone come in. He didn't bother to look. Instead, he argued himself whether he was going to follow his friends or stay true to his own word and stay put. He had told Ron and Hermione that he didn't feel like walking around and buying unnecessary things, but the truth was that he didn't want to run into Cedric. Harry was sure the Hufflepuff was somewhere in the village. Why wouldn't he be? He had no reason to stay in the castle, unlike Harry who was burning with guilt.

"Oh hi Harry," The raven-haired boy looked up. It was Frank Ernsten, a sixth year Hufflepuff student. Harry recognized him as one of Cedric's friends.

"Hi," said Harry. He had never talked to any of Cedric's friends before, and vice versa. It was strange that one of them would approach him at the worst part of he and Cedric's timeline.

"May I join you?" asked Frank. "I want to as you something,"

Harry frowned, but nodded nonetheless. Frank smiled and sat across him around the circular table. "What did you want to ask, more specifically?"

"Right. It's about Ced,"

"Ced…as in Cedric, Cedric Diggory?"

Frank grinned. "Yeah. Who else?" Harry coughed. "Um, so he told me you guys had some sort of argument or something close to that. I don't know. I really couldn't hear him while he had his head buried in a pillow,"

"He had his head buried in a pillow?" Cedric you idiot! Thought Harry. "Err, so do you know--?"

"Know…what?"

"That…you know…we're…err,"

Frank clapped, making Harry jump. "Oh yes. That you two are going out, is that what you mean?"

Harry's eyes widened. "How could he--? And I haven't even told Hermione and Ron anything!"

"Well I wasn't supposed to tell you that he told me but the circumstances called for it,"

There was a pink tinge in Harry's cheeks when he spoke. "So where is he now? Is he with Cho?"

"Cho tried to pull him along, but he shouted at her and locked himself in the dormitory,"

"WHAT?" Everyone, including Frank, stared at Harry when he stood up all of a sudden. "You mean he's back there in the castle right now?"

"Y-yes," stammered Frank, gesturing the young Gryffindor to sit down although he barely followed. "Don't try to go to him. He's in a murderous state as of the moment," Harry finally sat back down. "Look, I need to ask you what happened last night. I've never seen Cedric so miserable,"

Harry bit his lower lip. He was beginning to hate Cedric as a subject of conversation.

"It's not that big of a deal," he replied. "I found out something new about him, and then I realized I had a part in it, and that's what made Cedric feel bad, I guess," Deep inside, Harry felt a thousand times worse. To say something about their fight like it was nothing pained him, but he had no choice. He had to end the talk as soon as possible before he blurted out something he wasn't supposed to. "Is he…mad at me?"

"I asked him that same question," said Frank. "And do you know what he answered?"

Harry shook his head.

"He said, 'How could I be mad at someone who's given me so much happiness?'"

A tear ran down Harry's flushed cheek.

Going back to the castle was hard. Harry had to keep his feelings to himself while Ron and Hermione were looking so happy. He didn't want to spoil the mood. He smiled back at them and accepted the treats they kept handing to him, although he simply dropped them in his pocket. Even if he was itching to tell them everything and apologize for telling a lot of lies, he knew it would only make things more complicated than they already were for him and Cedric.

Dinnertime came around faster than Harry expected. He again sat at the side where he wouldn't be able to see Cedric, but when he took a small peak at the Hufflepuff table, Harry found no sign him.

"Looking for the pretty boy, Harry?" asked Ron in a whisper, nudging his best friend jokingly. Harry faked a smile and went on to dump some vegetable salad on his plate. He really didn't want to eat, or drink, or live. The guilt kept on pouring in; madness was somewhere lurking in a corner, ready to pounce on him and consume him from head to toe.

"I can't do this anymore," murmured Harry to himself.

"What was that?" asked Hermione. Harry looked up, and saying nothing, he got up and left the Great Hall. Hermione raised an eyebrow at Ron, who knew just as much as she did—nothing.

Harry's feet took him to the Hufflepuff Common Room. Memories of his confession and his first real kiss came back to him, albeit there was no time for that. Once again he had no idea what the password was, so he did what he could at the moment.

"Cedric! Cedric I need to talk to you!" he shouted, loud enough to be heard from the inside but soft enough to avoid unnecessary attention. "Cedric, if you don't come out right now I'm going to--!"

"There's no need to shout. Really," A tall boy came out of the entrance, wearing nothing but checkered boxers. Harry blushed. It was a half-naked Cedric. "Come in," Cedric yawned and gestured for the Gryffindor to follow him. They went up to the dormitory, where the prefect went to his bed and turned his back to Harry. The younger boy gulped down his nervousness. Thoughts of how hot Cedric was and their past argument that needed a resolution kept battling in his mind. "What do you want, Potter?" finally asked Cedric.

Potter? Since when did he start calling me by my last name? Harry coughed it away. "Are you sure you want me here? I can leave. I don't want to be in a place where I'm not welcome,"

"You're very much welcome here. If not, I would be the worst prefect ever," replied Cedric sarcastically. Harry had an urge to punch him but he restrained himself. He was in Hufflepuff territory after all. Oh, but if they were in the Gryffindor Common Room… "Let me guess. Frank talked to you,"

"Are you going to kill him if I said 'yes'?"

"No,"

"Well then yes, he talked to me,"

"He's dead,"

"But you said--!"

"I'm kidding, Harry," Cedric slowly sat up and looked Harry in the eye. The Gryffindor was easily mesmerized. "It's like you don't trust me anymore. It only happened yesterday, didn't it?"

"Y-yes…" answered Harry softly. Cedric noticed he was shaking. "But I…Cedric…I already miss you…I don't understand why…so don't ask me. But it's almost like…I'm longing for you…in more ways than one…I can't stop thinking about you…wanting to be with you…wanting everything about you…Maybe I'm just bound to my feelings for you, but I feel almost…almost broken without you…even for just a day. Call me crazy; call me lovesick, or whatever name there is that exists to describe one that constantly drowns in emotion. I don't care…because as long as I know all this is real I can take anything. But Cedric…I don't just want you. Somehow, I've grown to need you. And I…" Harry broke into tears. "Cedric, I want you back!"

"I haven't even gone somewhere," said Cedric. "How can something be returned if it was in its right place all along?"

"What if something happens that threatens for it to be taken away?" cried Harry. "Cedric…Cedric I love you! I can't stand this negativity between us! I just can't! It's too much!"

"Harry, stop it!" scolded Cedric. He got up and held Harry by his shoulders. "Listen to yourself! You're acting insane! Are you really like this when you like someone, huh? To the point that you're already hurting yourself, thinking that the person you like is the air you breathe?"

"I don't just like you! I love you! Why can't you understand that?"

"I do understand, because I feel the same way! Harry…" Cedric cupped Harry's chin, forcing him to look into his eyes. "Don't…don't do this. Don't…don't like, or love me too much. I don't deserve you, or your feelings,"

"It's my decision who I'm going to love. I chose you, and I won't change my mind no matter what,"

"You don't know what you're saying," whispered Cedric. The tone of his voice changed somehow. "To love me, and trust me, will soon be like suicide for you,"

Harry pulled away from Cedric's grasp. The tears he had been holding back pooled behind his eyes. "How come you tell me you love me, and then you push me away? It doesn't make sense. When we were in the Hospital Wing," Cedric frowned. "You had something to tell me, didn't you? You were probably going to confess to me, so why didn't you do it, Cedric? Answer me,"

"You are so thick in thinking that I was about to confess to you that day," said Cedric angrily.

"I don't care if you see me as thick now. All I want to know is why you stopped telling me what you were already saying then. Is there someone who doesn't want the two of us together? Is that it?"

"Get out Harry. This conversation's going nowhere,"

"Answer me, and I'll never talk to you again if that's what you want,"

Cedric's expression became neutral. He exhaled, and said, "I stopped…because I was doing the wrong thing,"

"What do you mean?" asked Harry. "W-why was it the wrong thing to do?"

"Because I was lying to you,"

Harry gasped. "What--?"

"I was lying for goodness' sake! Can't you understand even that?" Cedric shouted. "Harry, I don't really love you! All this time I've been using you! When you confessed to me, you only gave me the perfect chance to tear you apart, by making you believe that I held the same feelings for you, and soon after I would go against you. Now you know why it was wrong. I was about to deceive you,"

Harry wasn't able to speak. He didn't want to accept Cedric's explanation. It was too painful to know. "Then… When you and I…were in the library…and we…"

"That was a lie, too," said Cedric. "I can have sex a la carte anytime I want," He smirked. "I'm good, aren't I? You actually believed everything I've been saying since your little love confession,"

Despite the pain in his eyes, Harry couldn't stop the tears. The person he loved the most, the person he cared for the most, ended up being the one to break his heart. The grief he felt at Cedric's words kept on growing. He could no longer bear the sight of him, but something kept him there. "Cedric…" Flashbacks of the two of them together ran through his mind. I could care less…if he never loved me at all, he thought, as he stepped towards Cedric. As long as I do, nothing else should matter, not even Cedric.

Cedric's eyes widened when Harry gently pulled him down by the neck and kissed him. The older boy felt the intense passion and longing his lover possessed for him as soon as their lips made contact. It was almost like nothing had happened.

How can I keep on doing this to you? Asked Cedric in his mind. He carried Harry into his arms without breaking their kiss. And why aren't your thoughts about me any different? You should hate me…hate me with everything you are. He laid him on his bed, and stepped out of his boxers. You have to stop being like this, Harry… He went on top of Harry, who wrapped his arms around him. Because… Cedric then bit down Harry's neck, hard enough to draw blood, and tasted the very liquid that made his lover alive. …I might just fall for you—for real. Harry moaned when Cedric began to suck. If he had to sacrifice something in order to save their relationship, he knew at once that he was ready to give up his life.

Author's Note: Hmm…Such a weird chapter, no? So Cedric finally told the truth, but Harry doesn't believe him! What a turnout. I'm so sorry. I really don't think when I'm writing. -- As long as I can fill four to six pages, I'm good. Hehe. I try to make sense, though. Ha! I was able to escape from a near sex scene experience:D That's a very good thing. I know this is a rated M story, but I'd really like to get away from the inappropriate censored parts because, well, more often the not the story is left behind and sex is all the readers will be looking out for if there's too much of it. Anyway, thank you for reading. Keep the reviews coming, alright? So that I'll have the determination to finish this. I have three unfinished fanfics, mind you. Ah well. Bye!