By keL-rebecca
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. It belongs to J. K. Rowling, who I think is a genius.
First Chapter – Complicated Feelings
What could be done by a heart so bold when what it longs for remains so cold?
It was a night that owned a raven sky and a pale full moon slightly hidden behind clouds lined with silver. The air remained misty from the late afternoon rain; drops of water could still be spotted resting on leaves and flower petals. Across the dark forest, whose creatures had burst to life as soon as the sun had set, a castle towered, lit by several hundred lights seen from just a single angle. It was the Hogwarts castle, and it is where this story unfolds, on a clear night after a stormy day.
Dinner was almost over. A lot of students had gone up to their Common Rooms while some chose to remain in the Great Hall to finish leftover desserts or simply to have a conversation with their companions so as not to be disturbed by anyone. Three of the students who were chatting over dinner were Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Ron kept the other two waiting by saying that he wanted his ice cream to melt first before eating it, although they all knew that the ice cream was hexed and therefore would not melt until the next day. It was a good thing that Harry didn't want to do homework just yet and had convinced Hermione to stay for a while, although she kept going on about how laziness could affect their futures.
"…And of course if for example we end up working for the Ministry of Magic, it wouldn't be right if we just let the paperwork do themselves, now would it?" Hermione was saying. "There's always magic, but we can't rely on that all the time. Our wands can get lost and again if we were lazy until then we wouldn't be looking for it, now would we? Harry, Ron, are you listening?" She saw that they seemed to be absorbed in another subject.
"Uh, yeah," replied Ron. "You were still talking about laziness, am I correct?" He beamed at Harry, who returned it with pleasure.
"Yes well, that's the subject but I don't think you listened to the content, Ron,"
"Why only me? Harry wasn't listening, too!"
"And now you tell me you're not listening," Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I swear, you two can be totally insensitive sometimes,"
"Sorry, Hermione," said Harry. "We're going to do homework later, we promise,"
Hermione nodded. "That's good. We can all do it together. So," She inhaled and exhaled once. "What were you two talking about?" There was no answer. "Oh c'mon now. Is it a subject exclusively for boys? I'll be open-minded, don't you worry. I've had plenty to read in the past about the opposite gender's psychology,"
"Well…" began Harry. "We don't really know if you're going to approve of what we were talking about. It doesn't concern Ron, but it's about me. I…" He looked at Ron. The redhead shrugged. He knew it was up to Harry to decide what to say to their lady friend. "I have this new, err, crush,"
Hermione's face lit up. "Why didn't you say so in the beginning? Wait," The boys' hearts skip a beat. "So you don't have a crush on Cho anymore?" They went back to normal.
Blushing, Harry replied, "Yeah. It just sort of…went away for some reason. But it's alright. It's not like I've told her anything about it. What she doesn't know can't harm her, nor me," He smiled.
"Whatever you say," said Hermione. "Who's your new crush? Do I know her? Have we met her before?"
"Um…" Harry swallowed hard. He knew he had to say a name sooner or later.
It had been equally if not more awkward for him to tell Ron the other day. They were in the bathroom washing their hands dripping in an icky green potion, which was supposed to make things pop but since they had failed to concoct it perfectly it blew in their faces instead. They were just about to finish when Harry spoke. "Ron?"
"Yeah?" Ron asked without looking up. The icky green color seemed to have dyed his palm.
"I have something to tell you," That caught the redhead's attention. He turned the faucet off and looked at Harry, frowning in curiosity. Harry reddened. "Thing is, I haven't told anyone, not even Hermione. It's just that…I don't know if I should be feeling this way at all. It's…wrong, in so many ways, too. But I do need someone to hear me out, because I keep on holding back and it's so frustrating," When Ron didn't say anything he went on. "Ron…I like…a guy," He turned his back so as not to see Ron's reaction. He knew his best friend might've turned green, and he was anticipating barfing sounds. Instead, he heard only one word.
"Really?"
Unbelieving that Ron had accepted it Harry faced him again. His face was normal and his frown had gone. He appeared to be interested rather than disgusted. "Ron, didn't you hear what I just said? I like a guy, a guy, Ron. And…I'm a guy, too! Doesn't that sound so…strange to you?" Ron shook his head. "Not at all?" Another shake. Harry gleamed and embraced Ron. "Thank you! I thought you were going to shun me forever or something!"
"Shun you? No way, Harry," said Ron with a smile. "It's okay to like a guy. I haven't, but it's not like you killed someone. There are more terrible things. So, who's the lucky winner?"
Harry let go of him and smiled happily.
"Harry…Harry!" Hermione's voice disturbed Harry's flashbacking. "If you didn't want to tell me who it is, then you should've never talked about it in front of me. You pay the price for not listening to me,"
"Alright, alright," said Harry. He breathed deeply. Hermione was his best friend as well, and she had every right to know. Besides, it would be better to have two people keeping your secret. It was more fun that way, and if one was away then the other could still listen. "I know you're good at this, so I'll give you three clues. Each one's going to help you narrow down everyone and end up guessing my crush. If you don't get it, then I'll tell you. Is that okay?"
"A game, huh? Alright. I'm ready,"
"First, my crush is not in our House because if my crush was in Gryffindor I wouldn't be able to control myself," Harry said quickly. "Second, my crush is a Quidditch player that has the same position as I have. And third," Hermione was deep in thought. "My crush is a he," Hermione gasped.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…" Hermione looked hysterical. "Harry, you don't mean to tell me that you like--?"
"Like who?" asked Harry, nervous as hell. Girls' reactions were definitely different from guys'.
Hermione minimized her voice to a whisper. "You like Cedric Diggory, the Hufflepuff Seeker?"
Harry blushed at the sound of the name. He simply nodded and didn't take his eyes off of Hermione, who looked as though Hagrid had slapped her. It was true. He liked Cedric. No, he adored Cedric. Those gray eyes that almost dissolved completely into two curved lines when he brought out one of his most adorable smiles, those thin yet luscious-looking lips a constant crimson color, those rosy red cheeks, that shiny chestnut blond hair that was neat and messy at the same time, the slightly muscular build…Harry loved just about everything the older boy possessed. It was amazing he had kept his feelings to himself for nearly three weeks.
Hermione looked around and saw Cedric talking to some of his Hufflepuff friends. She didn't find him that attractive, but the redness on Harry's face said the exact opposite. Harry must've seen something great in the boy that made him act that way, because not even Cho could make him as distracted as he was at that moment. Hermione knew that there was nothing left she could do because Harry had already fallen for him. And he had fallen hard.
"So are you going to kill me or what?" Harry asked, anxious. If anything he didn't want Hermione to think of him different, because he was only listening to what his heart was telling him, and that was that he had a tremendously soft spot for Cedric.
"I really don't know what to say," said Hermione. She had a look on her face that had a mixture of uncertainty and confusion. "Cedric's okay, but of all the girls in this school Harry, why did you go for a guy? I just wanted to know," she added when Harry frowned at her.
"I don't know…" answered Harry. He really had no idea why. "Maybe…maybe my feelings for him were only, developed or something. It's not like I know him that well for me to be fascinated this much. But I do see him during matches, and sometimes we greet each other in the hall. That's it. And girls…I like girls, but they can be so…the same, you know? No offense, Hermione. They have the same actions, same thoughts. I think I was trying to find something…different. I'm a guy, and guys' actions can be similar, too, but Cedric has this extra…thing inside of him. I haven't figured out what it is, yet, but it's there and I like him for that,"
Hermione was speechless at first. Harry's feelings seemed to be deeper than she thought they were. He knew what he was saying, and he was aware that his attraction to Cedric wasn't normal and of course wouldn't have normal consequences. It wasn't like Harry to fall for something taboo but he knew how to fall safely. Hermione figured that as long her best friend didn't do anything irrational, he would be alright.
"Harry," she said. "I…I think this new crush is neither rare nor common, because there are a lot of guys out there who like, err, guys. If I don't accept you because of this one thing, then I couldn't be called your friend. You like someone, but it just turns out that you have the same gender. That's okay, if you ask me. I just want you to know that I'll support you, but," Harry was about to hug her. "But, you have to promise me that there will be no funny business, nothing dangerous, if you know what I mean,"
"Yes, yes, I promise!" Harry wrapped his arms around Hermione. "I'm so glad to have friends like you guys,"
Hermione felt happy for Harry, genuinely happy.
The next day was a very important day. The Triwizard Tournament was going to be held in Hogwarts, and the chosen students from two other schools of magic, namely Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, were scheduled to arrive. Students waited as most of them sought the windows to get a good view. At last the visitors were there, the Beauxbatons students sporting winged horses and the Durmstrang students riding what looked like a pirates' ship. The excitement within the castle grew.
The Hogwarts students waited eagerly for the visitors to enter the Great Hall. The large double doors opened, and in came the ladies of Beauxbatons. Ron, who was enchanted by the veela-looking girls, had his mouth in a large O the whole time. Harry found them very beautiful, but Hermione somehow didn't approve of them, especially because Ron was still ogling at them after they had settled near the Teachers' Table. After that, there was a loud thud the Durmstrang students arrived. They looked stern and well disciplined, some of them doing complicated gymnastics while the others displayed their heavy wooden sticks that created flames when they were hit against the ground. It amazed everyone, but the amazement grew tenfold when in came the headmaster of Durmstrang, Igor Karkaroff, accompanied by two students, one of them being Viktor Krum.
"That's Viktor Krum!" shouted Ron excitedly. "Harry, it's him! The best Seeker in the world! I can't believe it!"
Harry simply smiled. He was in absolute awe. The Beauxbatons and the Durmstrang students were great, and they looked as though any one from them could win the Triwizard Tournament. He wondered who would be the Hogwarts champion, though he head heard Cedric's name from other students so many times already he was beginning to be jealous that they didn't blush doing it. He looked over at the Hufflepuff table. Cedric was paying very close attention to the visitors. By the looks of his eyes, he seemed to be searching for possible champions. Harry knew he was serious about the tournament.
"What do you think?" asked Hermione all of a sudden.
"About what?" asked Harry in reply.
"About Cedric wanting to be a champion. A lot of people have died in the Triwizard Tournament, and even the likes of him aren't safe. You aren't thinking of joining, are you?"
"No way," said Harry. "Don't be ridiculous, Hermione. Why would I want to join? For Eternal Glory?"
"No, for Cedric," Hermione's voice seemed sad. "You can protect him if you join. Then again, people might think it unfair if you were chosen. Harry Potter, the boy wizard almost as popular as You-Know-Who himself, adds another title to his list. It will get mad if you join,"
"You think I don't know that? Besides, I believe in Cedric. Nothing bad will happen to him. I know it,"
Hermione kept quiet. She wondered why she was worrying about Cedric, or maybe…for Harry. She wouldn't be able to bear it if she saw him devastated if ever Cedric was harmed in any way. Harry's heart had been broken so many times in so many instances, and if another one came along, one that involved her best friend's beloved, he might not be able to get back up again.
There was uproar from nowhere. Harry and Hermione looked up at the same time. It seemed that only those who were 17 and above were allowed to join the Triwizard Tournament. The Weasley twins had a mischievous look on their faces.
"Looks like we won't be sleeping tonight, George," said Fred.
"Because we have a lot of homework to do, Fred," said George. "We'll have to start immediately,"
"Bloody hell we do," said Fred. They gave each other high-fives.
Meanwhile. Harry saw the look on Cedric's face harden. He thought about what Hermione said. What if something did happen to Cedric during the tournament? What if he wasn't able to protect himself for some reason? It drove Harry insane to think about such things but he couldn't help it. He had only begun to care about Cedric, and he couldn't lose him now, not to some stupid game.
All Harry could do was wait, and embrace the events that were about to unfold.
Author's Note: Right now I'm rewriting the second chapter because I realized that I'm just narrating the entire story just as it is, only, in my own words. So in short, it sucks. But please do be patient. You know me. I'm a turtle when it comes to updating. So, yeah, okay. Thank you for reading.