A/N This was the product of too much soda too late at night, and the combined imaginations of myself and one of my other perverse, anime-loving, certifiably insane friends. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. Though I am cruelly manipulating the characters to do my bidding, I also do not own any of them. Sigh…

"So Ed, it's today?" lt. Hawkeye asked nervously. Edward nodded.

"I'm leaving in an hour," he replied, staring at the floor. "Riza, I'm… I'm scared. I'm really scared, I want to do it, I need to do it, but what will Al and everyone else think?"

"Ed, this means a lot to you, it's natural, lots of people do it. You'll be fine, and as for Al, he's your brother. He'll always love you, no matter what happens. Here, I'll go with you, I get off in a few minutes," she said reassuringly, "to help give you support, I think what you're doing is great, as long as you're sure."

Ed nodded, at least Riza would be there with him. He felt a bit better; she was always treating him like a younger brother, or perhaps something else along those lines. "Did you, get them for me?"

"Yes, I'm picking up your new uniforms right after it's over, I used your old measurements with the proper adjustments."

"Thanks a lot Riza."

Ed walked down the hall, contemplating everything. He wanted to do this, once he had started thinking about it, it had made perfect sense. His fevered hate of colonel Mustang's perverse ways, his utter loathing of his father, and the enormous influence his dear mother had played in his life all factored into the equation. Not to mention his never reaching puberty, but that was a whole different note on the subject.

The dimmed reddish gold light played across his face from a window, it was getting late. The rest of the hour, Ed simply wandered around, mauling over the hundreds of thoughts and emotions running through his mind. It was warm, and Ed was getting a drink of juice when Riza finally approached him.

"I adjusted the records, and got your new uniforms, we can take care of the rest later. It's time to go Ed," she said gently, grasping his hand and leading him to the door. Leading him to a whole new life.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Now breathe in, it will only take a minute or two," said a doctor, Ed couldn't really describe him. His entire face was covered in those masks they always wear, as though fearing that breathing in the same air you are might kill them. Ed's vision blurred, he couldn't focus as the fumes entered him and fogged over his mind. And Ed felt sleep grasping hold of him, like a warm blanket, soothing his mind. And, as soon as it had started, it stopped, and the world had turned black.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Ed? Ed, can you hear me?" a voice came through the darkness. Who's was it? Ed knew it, but his head was too cloudy to recognize it. Ed tried to open his eyes, he was so tired… but the person, whoever it was, sounded nervous. Wonder why? He thought dully as he slowly opened his eyes, sitting up. The light was blinding, he had to blink about 500 times before it no longer burned his eyes. Ed looked around, the person who had been talking to him it turned out was, none other than first lt. Hawkeye. "Finally awake?" she smiled, "I was getting worried." That of course was a rhetorical question, but it was kind nonetheless.

"Yeah, augh, I can't think strait," he moaned, in a strangely high pitched voice, "hell, I can't think at all."

"Don't worry, it's just the after effects of the anesthetic," she replied softly, "it looks like the operation was a success, you are now officially Ms. Edward Elric."

A/N: Yes, the first chapter is short, but mine often are. I suppose you could label this as a crack fic, or perhaps not, you decide for yourself. I, on the other hand, know my life is in order by all means, as I have just gotten a new hat that I love. But, unfortunately enough, cannot find it, damn… please review and tell me what you think, I love everyone who reviews my stories. I'll update in a week or two, good night!