Author's Note: I should be doing my term paper on Peter the Great…
Disclaimer: FF belongs to Tetsuya Nomura.
Title: Little Black Book
Author: RipeTomato (TomatoYaYa)
Pairings: None.
Rating: T
Words: 543
Notes: I get bored. So sue me.
"What's this?" Tseng picked up a small, leather-bound book simply labeled 'RENO'. After undoing the small lady-like clasp, he flipped to a random page and began reading.
Rude was watching with interest; this had to be some sort of diary. Who knew Reno had a diary? Well, everyone knew he would be this klutzy to leave it in the middle of the staff lounge, right next to the coffeemaker. "What's it say?" He asked the Wutaian curtly.
A small, amused expression overcame Tseng's face, and he threw the book at Rude. The bald man caught it eagerly, almost,and began reading the first page.
Day One: 2:14 AM. Location: In my bed, eating pizza, watching cheap porn.
Grandmother staying for the month. Don't know why. Stupid fart. She made me tuck in my shirt and even patted my bum as I left for work. I swear, that woman is hell-bent on raising me 'properly'.
"Tuck in your shirt, sit up straight, don't slouch, oh my lord, what the dickens is your underwear doing in the kitchen sink, where are your manners, don't you ever clean up, this milk is three weeks overdue…" Her yammering doesn't stop.
When I came home from work today, I found everything in the apartment clean. Reno does NOT live in a clean apartment. Reno likes it dirty.
Stupid woman driving me insane…
Rude chuckled to himself as he turned the page. Tseng left the room with a cup of coffee, saying something about paperwork and interns.
Day Two: 3:38 PM. Location: Shinra Building Bathroom, 58th Floor.
I can't even take a decent dump at home. That woman does NOT understand that I like to keep the door open. The smell diffuses. Anyways, she's making me do things for her. She blames it on arthritis. Arthritis my ass. The woman drives a motorcycle.
"Oh, Reno!" She calls with a saccharine smile. "Do be a darling and get me some tea. I like it with a spoonful of honey."
I told her I don't drink tea. Beer was in the fridge if she wanted.
"Oh, no, Reno. I don't drink. It's bad for a woman my age to drink. Oh, if you don't mind, can you go to the store and get some tea and honey please?"
How could I say no to my grandmother, who used to be all… grandmotherly when I was younger before mom died? Hmph.
So I went to get some tea and honey, damn it. The cashier gave me an odd look as I did so.
When I made her tea, she rejects it, telling me it'll "Burn my lips off". So I dumped that and made a SECOND cup. She said that one was too sweet. Mumbling profanities under my breath, I stalked back into the kitchen and made her yet a THIRD cup. Careful not to spill it, I walked back to the now-spotless living room, delicately handing her the tea. She takes a sip, makes a bitter face, glares at me, and says it'll do. Hypocrite.
Hearing footsteps outside the door, Rude snapped the small book shut and shoved it into the sofa cushion behind him. It was Tseng. Breathing a sigh of relief, Rude fished the diary out again and continued to read.