THE LION'S DEN
Issue Four
September 28th, 1977
Three Knuts
Hello Gryffindors! This is your reporter, Remus Lupin, sharing those big issues around the castle with his fellow housemates...
Feature Story:
Rogue Bludger Released On G.Q.T.
The Gryffindor Quidditch Team's first practice on the 22nd resulted in disaster when a Bludger was released from its holdings, only to be a rogue Bludger. The Bludger seemed perfectly innocent for several moments, until the practice got underway. It started flying after random players at top speed, and the team could do nothing but hope for the best and fly for their lives.
Among the injured are Marcus Bell, Adrian Wood, and James Potter. All three were knocked unconscious by the Bludger, which struck them in the head at least once. Bell and Wood, each struck in the head once, awoke the next morning, but James Potter, captain of the team, is still unconscious in the Hospital Wing six days later after being slammed with the Bludger five times before falling from his broom. Both Wood and Bell are still in the Wing under supervision, but they are scheduled to be released tomorrow.
As for Potter, well, the Gryffindor Quidditch Team made the following comments:
"Go to hell, Slytherins." - Matthew Stone
"If James doesn't wake up soon, I'll murder the snakes with my own hands." - Sirius Black (censored)
"Slytherin will pay." - Frank Longbottom
Lindsay Bell, Angie LeBlanc, Chris Young, and Mariah Hunt were not available for comment, as they were plotting ways to murder the Slytherins.
What makes the team so sure that it was the Slytherins?
1. Dark charms were placed on the Bludger, and were later discovered by Professor Flitwick.
2. The Gryffindor Team and the Slytherin Team have a deep rivalry.
3. The Slytherins are still sore about what they were sure was a prank last week, when Evan Rosier's cauldron exploded and flooded the dungeons.
So, will we ever know that the Slytherins charmed the Bludger for sure? Probably not, but for now, we're happy enough with our assumptions.
Everyone at the Den wishes James Potter a good recovery.
Shorts:
"Clean-up Day" A Disaster
Students assigned to clean the Great Hall fled from the room, shrieking, because a bunch of monstrous, engorged bats were let out of a cage! Yikes!
New Member Of The Den Chosen
Frank Longbottom won, closely followed by Marlene McKinnon, in the competition for the editorial column. Marlene will come on in our guest column (coming soon), however.
If you have a problem, just...
Ask Sirius
Dear Black,
I have been asked to speak for the Slytherins as a whole. We state that we, as truthful, honest serpents, did not preform the prank against James Potter and his crappy team, though it was a clever prank that only the greatest minds of Hogwarts like ourselves could have pulled off. Not saying that we did it or anything.
- Severus Snape
Dear Snape,
Liars.
- Sirius
Dear Sirius,
Us Ravenclaws would like to confirm that we were not the executers of such an atrocious prank. We will help you Gryffindors in any way possible to catch the culprit. Hufflepuff would also like to say that they, as well, did not carry out this prank, and want to help catch the horrible people that would hurt James Potter and his team.
- The Eagle and the Badger
Dear The Eagle,
We don't suspect you guys of the prank. What would really make me feel better, though, is if you could get Carrie O'Connor to go out with me. Just kidding...
- Sirius
Dear Sirius,
What are we going to do about tonight?
- Moony
Dear Moony,
... crap.
- Sirius
Dear Sirius,
Sorry for repeating Moony's question, but what are we going to do about tonight?
- Wormy
Dear Wormy,
Once again... crap.
- Sirius
Dear Sirius,
When Potter wakes up, he isn't going to ask me out again, is he?
- Lily
Dear Lily,
Nah, he'll probably be too disoriented. Don't trust me, though.
- Sirius
Dear Sirius,
Is Madam Pomfrey allowing... er... visitors in to visit Pott– I mean, James?
- NOT A Slytherin
Dear NOT,
YOU CAN'T TRICK ME!
- Sirius
Don't Argue With Frank
by Frank Longbottom
This week's hot topic is James Potter's nearly fatal experience during a Quidditch practice. The entire school is divided on this; Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw firmly believe that Slytherin is behind the brutal attack, and Slytherin is maintaining their stand that they didn't jinx the Bludger that attacked James.
That's complete crap. Consider the following points, several pointed out in our feature article:
1. The Bludger was teeming with Dark curses and jinxes.
2. The attack was directed at the Gryffindor team, who the Slytherin team rivals immensely.
3. The Bludger seemed especially attracted to James.
4. The team was earlier found in Hooch's office, claiming that they needed to find out when their first game was.
The first point:
Professor Flitwick checked out the Bludger after Matt Stone managed to subdue it by pouncing upon it. It was practically dripping with curses only a person involved in the Dark Arts, such as those the Death Eaters use, would know. Most students in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff would not know nor use these spells.
The second point:
Gryffindor's rivalry with Slytherin dates back to when Salazar Slytherin left the school, over a thousand years ago. Every year, the rivalry only gets tenser, and in dark times like these, it's even worse. The Slytherins do have a motive to attacking the Gryffindor team; every year, it's a struggle between the two of them, and it's always close in the end, with Gryffindor just coming out on top.
The third point:
The Slytherins have a profound hatred of James Potter. He is what their kind calls a 'blood traitor', and his father, Edward Potter, has sent many of their fathers and mothers to Azkaban. He and his friends also terrorize the Slytherins, Severus Snape in particular (not to say that they don't deserve it). He also is the captain and star of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, and the reason that Slytherin loses the cup every year.
And, finally, the fourth point:
Sources have proven that members of the Slytherin Quidditch Team were earlier discovered by a professor in Madam Hooch's office. They claimed that they needed to find out when their first game was so that they could schedule practices accordingly. This is complete crap, as every team was handed a schedule after they were completely registered. So what exactly was the team doing in there?
The evidence, to me, is overwhelming. It is my firm belief that Slytherin committed this crime. I hope they all are punished for this.
Big Mouth Rita Knows It All!
Rita Skeeter here, with all of the gossip that circulates throughout the school.
Students can't stop talking about the incident with the Bludger. Nothing like this has ever happened at Hogwarts.
Your columnist went to Madam Pomfrey, hoping to get the details on James Potter's condition.
"There is a ninety nine percent chance of recovery," she said matter-of-factly. "We never know what will happen, but it is extremely unlikely that Mr. Potter will die or suffer permanent damage. When he awakens, he'll be suffering a mild concussion, but nothing too severe. The worst that could happens is that he suffers from amnesia."
Hopefully, James Potter will recover fully soon enough to play his first game in three weeks.
Sorry guys, but there's no sports this week! We have standings for you, though:
Puddlemere United: 8-0
Wimbourne Wasps: 1-7
Tutshill Tornadoes: 4-4
Kenmare Kestrals: 4-4
Chudley Cannons: 4-4
Denmark Dragons: 3-5
London Lions: 3-5
Appleby Arrows: 4-4
Holyhead Harpies: 5-3
Yorkshire Yedis: 6-2
Liverpool Legends: 5-3
Birmingham Bears: 3-5
Oxford Owls: 4-4
Amsterdam Acromantulas: 7-1
Athens Ashwinders: 3-5
Dublin Diricawls: 4-4
Madrid Manticores: 6-2
Venice Vampires: 5-3
Manchester Mooncalves: 1-7
Moscow Mummies: 3-5
Milan Mokes: 1-7
Paris Phoenixes: 5-3
United States Stars: 6-2
Sydney Serpents: 8-0
New Zealand Nundus: 4-4
The Five W's With Lily Evans
Who: Students 3rd year and above
What: Hogsmeade trip
When: September 29th
Where: Hogsmeade
Why: DUH!
Who: Quidditch team
What: NO practice this week
When: ...
Where: ...
Why: Isn't that obvious?
Who: Aspiring Healers
What: "The Future Starts Here" Class for Healers
When: September 30th
Where: Greenhouses 1 and 2
Why: To teach the benefits of Healing
Who: All Seventh Years
What: "What's Your Future?" classes
When: October 8th, and following months (dates to be determined)
Where: The Great Hall
Why: To guide Seventh Years to jobs that would be appropriate for them.
Yet another issue done!
Some reminders:
If you are writing a Marauder's Era Harry Potter story, and you would like your characters (they have to be MAIN CHARACTERS, like James, Sirius, etc) to be featured in the plot line of the Gossip Column, just leave the name of your story and the chapter in which the event occurs. If I like it, then it will go in the Gossip Column!
For the Quidditch standings, if you live in a big, notable city (that isn't in the USA, Canada, or Mexico) and you don't have a team already posted, just tell me your city and I'll add it on! But, I WILL have a limit, so once I reach a certain amount, I won't post anymore cities.
And, as always, give questions for Sirius to answer in Ask Sirius!
PotterScar