Disclaimer: Okay…it was pointless to put this here but I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! So please don't sue me if you are offended by the improper language and mature contents. Sue my friend for talking to me so late and making me say some stupid dare and have to write this. Or just sue Masashi Kishimoto since he, well, created these characters, which excite dirty-minded yaoi fan girls.
ONE MAJOR THING I NEED TO STRESS: I AM NOT A YAOI FANGIRL! I LIKE MEN OKAY! Well, not MEN, unless you consider Gaara, Kakashi and Sirius Black real men then, yeah. I DID THIS FOR THE SAKE OF A FRIEND OKAY! LEMME STRESS THIS! I DON'T LIKE BOY ON BOY STUFF…tears rolls down cheeks
By the way… I'm talking about the cheeks on my face you morons who thought wrong.
Reader discretion is advised. Unless you are a mature person who likes yaoi and/or shounen-ai, please close this window immediately and pretend you never read this and live your life and die. If you ignore this and read, its not my fault, just don't sue me.
Thank you,
However, if you fulfill the qualities above, then continue reading and REVIEW MAN! God, I did all that research for a reason man. I'm mentally disturbed now for the sake you people who read and don't review.
Okay…On with the perverted, sick, intense yaoi-ness.
NOW, ON WITH THE STORY- YAOISH, PERVE-
Gaara(out of nowhere): STFU MAN! GAWD, YOU ARE SO GAY.
sniffles I wish I never employed him as my assistant.
OEverytimeO
Chapter 1: The Secret Passion
'Orochimaru, looks like I've finally got my hands on you.' said Jiraiya.
Jiraiya held Orochimaru against a tree with his hand. Three sharp silver arrows had pierced him on his right side that was bleeding profusely. His right arm hung limp by his side. Orochimaru had been hit by Jiraiya's new technique, which was a mirror effect.
Jiraiya had run at Orochimaru with Rasengen spinning rapidly in the palm of his useful hand. But Orochimaru was ready. He lunged forwards with the sword that killed the Thrid Hokage sprouting from his mouth. But Jiraiya had suddenly stopped and performed hand signs. Seven mirrors surrounded Orochimaru. His own sword pierced himself.
'Orochimaru, looks like you've got no chance to do your form of plastic surgery.' said Jiraiya with a growl. 'No matter how matter how many times you have succeeded before, this time, there will only be two Sannin.
'You fool Jiraiya, do you think I learned nothing these past years.' giggled Orochimaru in a girly voice. 'You should always watch your back, old friend.'
As if on cue, Jiraiya whipped his head around. A giant hand reached out of nowhere and grabbed the limp body of Sasuke.
'I win again, Jiraiya.' hackled Orochimaru.
Jiraiya turned around to see that Orochimaru had turned into a clump of mud. Jiraiya looked around desperately and ran after the retreating hand.
'No running after me, Jiraiya.' said Orochimaru giggly.
Kunais flew at Jiraiya who was too out of breath to dodge. Blood spurted from his wound. A terrible laughter sounded through the forests.
'Dear, dear, a fool has died a fool…'said Orochimaru.
A small smile was visible on the dying Jiraiya's face. Orochimaru raised an eyebrow.
'Why smile when you are-' began Orochimaru but Jiraiya's body had popped with a large puff of smoke to reveal a stupid monkey doll.
Orochimaru's eyes widened. He then suddenly screeched and grabbed his hand. He whipped around to see Jiraiya stepping on his giant hand and holding Sasuke.
'Sayonara…' said Jiraiya. 'And by the way, it takes a fool, to know a fool.'
With that, Jiraiya and Sasuke's body disappeared.
A howl of agony could be heard about 3 seconds later and the poor innocent creatures within the 500-meter circumference had all perished in black smoke.
DAYBREAK IN KONOHA
A boy looked at the horizon stretching across his ex-village. Tall and gangling with a solemn face, he smiled. His black hair stood on its end like it did 7 years ago. Uchiha Sasuke leaped from the branches and walked home.
He had returned to Konoha without his acceptance. Yet, somehow, he felt so much more powerful. Maybe it was because everyone was scared to him, or maybe it was merely because of the face of that boy. The boy who would never cry in front of him actually did.
'Sasuke, if you need power t-then, just kill me.' said Naruto. 'You tried to before now complete the deed.'
Sasuke, who had just killed 13 Konoha ninjas who were trying to restrain him, looked into the eyes of Naruto who was on top of him, pinning him down.
'If you are cruel enough to waste all the hard work we all did you save you and the tears of Sakura, then you should be fing able to kill me you bastard.' yelled Naruto at the top of his voice. 'Instead of going to Orochimaru to gain his power, just do what your brother did since you are just as much of an asshole as he is.
Sasuke's eyes widened.
'If you desire so much stupid power then kill me, your only friend you, you loner!' screamed Naruto into Sasuke's face. 'Gain that maniac sharingan thing by killing me, you freakin'- bastardious- idiot.'
'KILL ME!'
'Sasuke-kun!' screeched a pink-haired girl. Sakura ran towards Sasuke, snapping Sasuke back to earth.
'So this is where you were, I was looking for you the whole time!' said Sakura. Sasuke turned around to see Sakura running towards him with a bag.
They were in the hallway of the building of Sasuke's apartment.
'Sasuke-kun! I made you some onigiri!' laughed Sakura as she ran.
'Oh…well, let's eat them inside.' said Sasuke in monotone.
Sakura, however, did not notice and agreed with joy.
Sasuke opened the door and sat down on the couch. Sakura bounced in.
'Sasuke, these are the-' began Sakura rushing in, but accidentally tripping on Sasuke's shoes.
The onigiri went flying into the air and Sakura was falling into Sasuke.
'Oh my gawd…' thought Sakura. 'I'm- I'm going to…kiss Sasuke…finally...
'Before Ino…
'I can…'
'Almost…'
Sakura closed her eyes in expectation.
'I can taste him…''He's…so soft…'
'and…'
'……'
'FEATHERY?'Sakura's eyes flashed open to realize she was kissing Sasuke's pillow.
Sasuke, who had dodged (My friend and fan girls sigh in relief) and hung upside down on the ceiling watched, frightened, at Sakura making out with the pillow he usually sat on when he ate.
Sakura blushed to the roots of her forehead.
'Err…I don't think we can eat them anymore…' said Sasuke, still eyeing Sakura as though she was a freak.
Sakura blushed even harder and looked down.
Sasuke, sensing he'd just 'burned' Sakura, said 'Hey, why don't we go for a walk…'
Sakura's face brightened 3 shades (Insert Toothpaste Commercial) immediately stood up and agreed.
Sasuke locked the door and walked down the hallway with Sakura talking rapidly about random things next to him.
Sasuke however, was thinking of something else.
'Will I see him today?' thought Sasuke.
All these years, Sasuke had been waiting…just mere waiting for the day he would pluck up his courage or for Naruto…to…
'SASUKE-KUN!' screamed Yamanaka Ino.
Sakura groaned loudly and forced a smile, which turned into a sneer when she slipped her hand into Sasuke's.
'Hi…Ino-pi, I mean, nice day eh?' she said in a very scary nice voice.' said Sakura.
'Well, good morning Forehead girl,' said Ino without holding back. When she saw Sakura holding hands with Sasuke she bristled.
'OH MY GOD SAKURA!' screamed Ino. 'WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING SASUKE WITH YOUR FILTHY HAND!'
'What did you say?' said Sakura in a threateningly quiet voice.
Ino, however was not listening and said, 'Oh my god Sasuke!'
'RAPE! SAKURA IS RAPING SASUKE!' the girl.
'WTF!' yelled Sakura and she let go of Sasuke and was pulling at Ino's hair. They began to fight as villagers gathered to watch in horror as they fought.
Sasuke, spotting the chance, escaped and began to walk alone with his thoughts of Nar…
'SASUKE!' yelled a voice in the crowd.
Sasuke groaned inwardly. 'Not them again…' thought Sasuke.
He hurried his pace but the voice did not cease.
'Oi! Sasuke! You idiot!'
Sasuke stopped. Never in the world would those fan girls call him that. It had to be…
It had to be….
'Sasuke you idiot!' yelled Naruto.
Sasuke turned around to see the overly excited Naruto running towards him.
If you were walking past Sasuke, he'd look extremely pissed but if you could read minds and sense emotions, it would be completely different.
Sasuke's innards were glowing with joy. He felt as though the day had gone three shades brighter (Toothpaste Commercial Gaara:glares STFU man...)
But it was all too soon to be happy.
'Naruto…'
Sasuke's stomach gave a turn.
'Don't run so fast!'
Sasuke felt his fists clench.
'Sorry, Yuki-chan' apologized Naruto.
Sasuke flinched at the sight.
Naruto held a very pretty girl's hand. She had black hair with very soft, glazed blue eyes. Her features were delicate and the way she blushed could make Miroku from InuYasha leap of the screen and run into Konoha.
However…Sasuke was maybe the only person who could hate this girl.
'Hey Sasuke, what's wrong with you?' said Naruto. 'Did you go deaf or something?'
Sasuke was too shocked to speak and merely pointed at Yuki. To the fan girls, this would have been something to die for to be pointed at by Sasuke. It was nowhere near cool whatsoever.
'Oh…' said Naruto. 'Oops, forgot to introduce you to Yuki-chan.'
The way Naruto said Yuki-chan made Sasuke grit his teeth.
'Yuki-chan, this is Uchiha Sasuke,' said Naruto 'Sasuke this is Yuki-chan, she's a ninja in Konohamaru's year.'
Sasuke could not control himself. Spending two and a half years with Orochimaru taught him many things. Including sending paralyzing death threats with a mere glance.
Yuki screamed.
Sasuke's glare was enough to kill.
Yuki ripped her hand from Naruto and ran blindly, bumping into many things on the way.
'Yuki-chan!' yelled Naruto.
Sasuke felt as though he had been stabbed by kunais.
'Why the HELL?' exclaimed Naruto. 'Why the hell would you do that?'
Sasuke felt like crying.
'Why in the world would you glare at her like that?' yelled Naruto. 'What did she ever do to you?'
Sasuke began to cry.
Well, inwardly.
'You are an idiot, I thought you had changed for the better but you are still such an asshole.'
Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He whirled around and walked away. To Naruto, it was a sign of 'I'm too cool to care'. But it was nothing more that a way for Sasuke to escape a scene that was killing him.
END
OMIGOSHES!…
Sorry its so short…meep…
Gaara: That was gay…the fan girls are really pissed right now. There was no fluff at all.
TB: Gomen! I'm sorry but I need reviews to add fluff and yaoiy stuff. But I assure you there will be some in the next chapter.
Gaara: They don't believe you…
TB: O.O NOOOO…….
Gaara: Sheesh steals paper.
TB: NOOOO…….
Gaara: Well, to get them off my back…heres a preview of the next chapter.
TB: NOOO! MY NOTES! NO-
Gaara (smacks TB with stone): Now read.
Chapter 2:
'Sasuke, what are you doing?' gasped Naruto. 'What the fu-'
Naruto could not finish his sentence for Sasuke had silenced him with a kiss.
Sasuke had his lips pressed hard against Naruto's.
'Mmph!' said Naruto.
Sasuke didn't care. All he wanted to do was to kiss him. Kiss him like there was no tomorrow.
Naruto continued to struggle for seconds, but gave in and accepted. He closed his eyes and Sasuke did the rest.
Sasuke's tongue entered and swirled in Naruto's mouth. Naruto moaned silently which made Sasuke kiss harder.
Sasuke stopped pushing Naruto and his hands stroked Naruto's cheek and neck. They remained like that until Sasuke felt Naruto's hand at his collar. Naruto began to tug.
Answering his request, Sasuke pulled of his shirt and pants. Naruto did the same as the continued the kiss.
'Sasuke…' said Naruto.
'Yes?' said Sasuke, impatient, wanting to touch and memorize each part of Naruto.
But to Sasuke's surprise and pleasure, he felt Naruto's hand touch his-
TB(wakes up): NO MORE!
Gaara: God, you are sick.
TB (glares at Gaara): I got this from my aunt's books. She reads romance novels with MEN AND WOMEN as couples.
Gaara: Sure….
TB: You're fired!
Gaara(fakes crying): No…don't fire poor chibi-Gaara-chan…
TB: Awwww…of course you're not fired.
Gaara: HAH!
TB: Damn, anyhow, audience, you better wait! Review if you want more!