"James, James," said Lily urgently shaking her husband as he lay sleeping beside her, he wasn't responding, "James, JAMES JAMES JAMES" she screamed
"What?" said James jumping awake in fright.
"My water broke, I just had a contraction," said Lily now surprisingly calm.
"WHAT?" James shouted scrambling to his feet.
"I'm in Lab… OWWW OH FUCK OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," Lily screamed.
"Wh… you can't be…"
"Why the hell not? You knocked me up 9 months ago I would say it was possible for me to be in labour"
"But now?"
"Yes, OWWWWWWWWWWW SHIT THIS HURTS," Lily screamed again, "and we don't have much time until baby Potter makes an appearance, so are you going to take me to the hospital or do I have to go alone"
"Wh… of course, I'll get the bag," said James falling over himself to get to the door, then he suddenly stopped.
"In the living room, under the coffee table," said Lily getting out of bed
------------------------------------------------
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww You bastard this is all your fault, you ought to be castrated," Lily was screaming half an hour later in the delivery room.
"Honey, could you watch your language the healers are staring at me," said James and then he promptly got a bedpan hit off his head and more abuse from his wife.
That was until Harry James Potter came into the world and Lily's Psychotic pregnancy and James' nightmare was over.