Title: Perspective
Author: Morgan72uk
Rating: T
Summary: She shakes her head, feeling as though the Universe has tilted; not sure she recognises the landscape any longer.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't have any money.
A/N - I am not quite sure where this story came from, it sort of crept up on me. I don't think this is what I meant to write. But that final scene in Humpty Dumpty has been bugging me.
Perspective
'By the way, why does everyone think you and I had sex? You think there could be something to it?'
House's question is outrageous and Stacy looks back towards Cuddy, expecting a typically sharp retort – and then freezes. Cuddy's expression is soft, one hand lingers at her throat in an almost caress and the smile curving across her lips is at once seductive and reminiscent. In the awkward silence that follows Stacy fails to notice that House has departed and instead she watches, fascinated in spite of herself, as 'that' smile fades the moment Cuddy's eyes meet her own.
As a lawyer she knows very well that lack of denial is an admission of sorts – and she realises that Cuddy knows it too. Why else does she murmur that she needs to catch up with everything she has been neglecting over the last few days? Why does she suddenly look uneasy, if she has nothing to hide?
Stacy lets herself be dismissed and doesn't ask the question she is not sure she really wants an answer to. Instead, her mind buzzes with the things she has witnessed since her return – trying to put the pieces of a particularly fractured jigsaw together. Why had she assumed House had spent the last six years bitterly mourning her absence? Tormented by the knowledge that he had driven away the one person he'd loved – still loved? Why had she decided that Cameron's interest in him and his response to that were his first forays into anything approaching intimacy since she'd left? Why had it never occurred to her that the conflict between Cuddy and House, which already involved bitterness, anger and power would at some point involve sex as well? Now that she'd seen it, she wasn't at all surprised that the history of the time she'd missed in both of their lives included what she suspected was a brief but intense fling.
She'd been curious over the last couple of days, but it seemed she wasn't alone in that; everyone had been watching them, asking subtle and not so subtle questions. She was as guilty of this as anyone, pumping James for information – but that had been to convince herself that House's attitude to Cuddy wasn't masking something else. She'd wondered if he was interested in her, not whether she was another of his former lovers.
Eventually her musings take her to the door of the one person who might be able to give her answers. Not House. She is not ready to talk to House yet. But James greets her with a smile when she knocks on his office door and beckons her inside. He does not look worried until she asks him to tell her about House and Cuddy.
He paces, rubbing his neck and refusing to meet her eyes as he reminds her, again, that this is none of her business.
'Humour me, OK? I know they've been lovers, House told me as much himself.' At that piece of information he stops abruptly.
'House said that?'
'I was in Cuddy's office – his parting shot was "By the way, why does everyone think you and I had sex? You think there could be something to it?"'
'And she let him live?'
'He said other things as well – that her guilt is perverse, that she's a crappy Doctor but a good boss – he practically said she's the only person who would have taken the risk of hiring him.'
'Sounds like the House plan for kissing the boss' ass in full effect. Look, Stacy, I'm not sure you want me to tell you about it. I'm not sure it will help.' His eyes are sincere and for a moment she falters, sure that he is right. But then a surge of anger runs through her,
'I'm not asking for what I am sure are sordid and messy details, I just want to know when – did they wait weeks, months, over a year before they leapt into bed?'
'When?' He frowns, rubs a hand over his face and drops into the chair opposite her. The expression on his face is one she is sure that he uses when he is about to break bad news to a patient and she steels herself for the worst, prepares herself to hear they had their fling barely weeks after her departure – maybe before she'd even left. But when he speaks she gets her second shock of the day, 'it started three months ago.'
For long, tortuous moments she stares at him, stunned, aghast, confused. And then her brain, her formidable lawyer's brain clicks into gear and she picks up what his words do not say. 'Started?' She queries, proud when her voice barely quivers, 'it's still going on?'
'Well, unless House has ruined things by calling her a crappy Doctor.'
'But it can't be, he went on a date with Cameron, he's been...' she falters, unwilling to confess to all that has passed between herself and House – but James seems to know anyway.
'I didn't say it wasn't complicated and I'm sure your return has added a certain, tension.' She realises he is choosing his words with care and she wonders if this is because he is trying to spare her or because he doesn't want to reveal too much, to break confidences. 'Especially for two people who seem unwilling to characterise what is going on as a relationship'. At her questioning look he sighs again. 'He calls it screwing the boss, Cuddy refers to it as a lapse of judgement.'
'But she hasn't stopped.'
'No,' his silence, she thinks, speaks volumes.
She shakes her head, feeling as though the Universe has tilted; not sure she recognises the landscape any longer. Every moment since her return to the hospital, every interaction with both House and Cuddy needs to be re-evaluated. 'I've always hated revisionist history,' she says quietly – almost to herself. But she catches James' wry smile in response. 'I don't understand any of this,' she says bleakly.
'I'm sure you don't. Time and events change people. You chose to leave, chose to build a new life – everyone understands why – hell House probably understands why himself, he just won't admit it. Lisa chose to stay, she chose to let his anger and bitterness serve a purpose. He'll deceive her, manipulate her if he can, but he doesn't cross her unless he is feeling particularly suicidal – and he respects her in a twisted, begrudging sort of way. She's the only reason he still has a job and his job is one of the few things that matter to him, although he won't admit that either. She protects him because he's a brilliant Doctor, which will always matter more to her. They're lovers now in spite of their history, not because of it.'
'So what changed?'
'Nothing – she still doesn't trust him, he still tries to undermine her, they still fight tooth and nail. It's just that sometimes they go home together.' She senses his evasion and nails him with a glare. He huffs out a breath and looks off into the distance before answering. 'She risked her career to save – well to save him; I was in there too, the Diagnostics team, the entire hospital, but really it was about House.'
'I've heard this story, Vogler wanted to sack him, Cuddy won the Board round by telling them that their independence was at stake. House only cost the hospital $100 million.' For a moment Wilson smiles,
'I don't need to ask who filled you in.' He runs a hand through his hair and she can see he is debating whether to tell her more or not. She thinks what clinches it is the thought of where she will go for answers if he doesn't give them to her. 'It was that night, we were celebrating after we'd heard Vogler had been dispatched. When she came in – well, you can do a lot with that kind of money and she was the only one who really knew what it had cost us, what it was going to cost us. She got angry, reminded us what it was all about and then stormed off into the night. House says he looked in on her before he left to make sure she hadn't exploded, I think it was probably to thank her, in his own unique style. I don't think either of them expected anything to happen.'
'But something did?'
'Yes.'
It's been a very, complicated couple of days and Stacy is not sure what she makes of the picture James is painting. Of Cuddy having risked her career for someone she knows she can't trust, of House as close as he ever gets to being contrite. How that might have played out. She contemplates James and thinks about asking him one, last question.
'Is it a good thing, for both of them?' He glances away, looking at his hands for a moment and then across to the glass divide and the office next door.
'It has the potential to be a good thing, but it also could be a disaster of immense proportions. If I'm honest I think the only reason it won't be a disaster is that Cuddy won't allow it to affect the hospital. But that doesn't mean that it will work out. I also think, whatever you might decide about this, that she could probably use a friend.'
It rains overnight and as Stacy sits with Mark in his hospital room she tries hard to focus on him and not what she knows about two of the major personalities in the hospital. But her mind keeps slipping back to House and Cuddy and she finds herself wondering if he has left her alone tonight. Anyone else, she'd be fairly convinced that he'd go after her, or she'd go home with him – but House and Cuddy have spent the last few days sniping at each other, and they are two people who do things thoroughly. She can't quite visualise how they transition from that to being lovers, can't imagine their being lovers at all given how they treat each other. And yet…
When Mark sleeps she collects her belongings and makes her way home. It is not entirely an accident that her route takes her past House's office, but it isn't quite deliberate either. He's still there, the desk lamp is on and he is sitting at the desk, gazing into space. She knows that the sensible thing to do would be to keep walking – but she hesitates, then knocks on the glass.
'Hey,' his expression is a combination of pleasure and pain and she wonders how Cuddy feels about having her lover's former lover back on the scene. 'I'm only going to say this once Greg, I think it's a good thing, you and Lisa.'
'How, noble of you.' She forces herself not to respond to his sneer, reminding herself that his default position is being a bastard.
'And, I don't think you should let her be alone tonight.' It is rare that she manages to surprise him and it didn't occur to her that this would be one of the occasions when she succeeded. She pushes herself away from the doorway and doesn't look back, doesn't want to see his response to her comment.
She doesn't sleep well, bittersweet memories visit her and she spends far too much time thinking about James' parting shot and wondering whether House took her advice. Morning is a relief, of sorts.
When she reaches the hospital she discovers that she is not the only one in need of coffee. Cuddy is sitting in the outdoors area of the cafeteria. A half empty cup of coffee is before her and Stacy doesn't have to get too close to see that she still looks tired.
'Here,' she sets a new drink before the Chief of Medicine and pulls up a chair opposite her, 'welcome to the club by the way. I'm thinking of getting badges made, maybe T-shirts.'
'The club?'
'The "slept with Greg House for more than a month without trying to kill him" club. There is a surprisingly small potential membership.'
'Look, Stacy, I…'
'Lisa, issues about your judgement not withstanding – please don't apologise to me. I'm not involved in this, I'm married, to someone else.'
'It's not that simple.'
'Maybe I should be apologising to you. I mean here you are, two, single people – trying to sort out the beginnings of a relationship and I just blunder into the middle of it, with my needs, my conflicted feelings. You must hate me.'
'He still loves you.' It is not what she is expecting, certainly not from someone who has every reason to know just how messy it will be if that is the case. But the words can not be called back, anymore than the ones that follow them can be. 'And you still love him.'
'I'm married,' she repeats softly. Cuddy sips her coffee, hands wrapped around the cup as though she is trying to soak up the warmth of the drink.
'People get divorced,' she points out, but Stacy is not fooled.
'You love him?' She makes it a question, not because she has any doubts about what the answer is, but because it is Cuddy, because it is going to be a mess and because even now she knows which one of them will stick around and help James pick up the pieces. Unbidden she remembers frenzied moments in a hospital room and Cuddy calmly shocking House's heart back, saving his life. She should walk away and leave well alone she thinks; it is an impossible enough situation without her interference. She should let them fight it out without the ghosts of old loves watching from the sidelines, muddying the water. But she won't.
And Cuddy meets her eyes, her gaze completely steady. Neither of them needs to hear her quiet, affirmative response to the question, anymore than they need to discuss how that won't make the slightest different in whatever is to come.
The End