Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at Rumorshipping XD; This was done for a fic contest at a SetoXKisara community, and I was just going to post it there but it sort of turned out a lot longer than I thought.
I realized that I ramble in my fics, and I never really plan anything out, and that's why they all turn out so disorganized and weird. Jou wasn't even going to appear in this fic until I reached a point in the part with Honda where I thought it'd be cool for him to help Seto out. Just to cause the CEO a little more agony. But yeah. I went back to fix a few things, but in case it doesn't make perfect sense...that's why XD;
Anway, enjoy!
Fine, silky white hair. Bright blue eyes that seemed to sparkle in the desert sun. Pale white skin that didn't seem to tan no matter how much time she spent outside. These visions of a desert beauty, dressed in rags, wouldn't stop haunting Seto Kaiba as he slept…or tried to. He'd imagine the girl, smiling brightly, telling him she loved him and that she'd always stay with him. Suddenly, the ground would break underneath her as she fell. But never did she scream. Never would that smile leave her face. He'd call out to her, throwing himself at the edge of the abyss and reaching down. He'd plead for her to take his hand while hot tears streamed down his face. Her hand would clasp his, and she'd pull herself up, still with her serene smile. She'd kiss him gently and wipe the tears.
"Who are you?" he would ask in a hushed whisper.
He would never get an answer. The girl would simply smile a bit softer and pry his hand away from hers. He'd scream for her as she fell down into the blackness below, but he'd always wake with a jerk, covered in an icy cold sweat. His heart would race and pound up in his throat, and he always had a sudden urge to throw up as something in his stomach tightened and churned.
It seemed to get worse every night the dream occurred, and lately they had been coming more frequently. Normally he wouldn't be so concerned. But these dreams haunted him as the days went by, and he found himself avoiding sleep all-together to save him from the nightmares. Of course, when his brother would ask why he was awake all night sitting at his desk, Seto would answer with a cold tone. "Working."
Seto knew damn well this whole thing was ridiculous. A dream was just electrical brain impulses; something your mind made up and had no real meaning. It was just that; a dream.
So why was he getting so worked up over it?
Seto began reading about dream analysis and brain activity during sleep. There had to be a logical, scientific explanation for this vision. Maybe his brain was telling him that he subconsciously wanted companionship. Scratch that. No way was Seto going to lose sleep over something that menial. It had to be something more.
He got no answers from the textbooks. Nothing explained this nocturnal phenomenon he would experience each night he closed his eyes. At some point he decided that he must be going mad. He began to see her smile every time he closed his eyes, even if just for a moment. Every time he felt something touch him, he imagined it was her and turned to demand an answer.
Seto Kaiba, 16-year-old CEO billionaire, was completely losing his mind.
School proved to be a problem for Seto. This newly developed insanity of his was difficult to hide in his appearance. Even if he had the same calm exterior, his eyes were wild against his will, and his lack of sleep was apparent in his complexion. Luckily, Kaiba had a sound reputation, and he knew no one would dare bring up the issue to him or mock him. That was unheard of.
At least for the general populous.
After the Battle City tournament, a few people from their Seto's class moved away, and Kaiba found himself sitting right next to Honda Hiroto, one of Yuugi and the mutt's friends. The others were off in another part of the classroom, and Honda was isolated. Of course, this was nothing important to Seto, and he went about his way. As the term went on, he noticed Honda reading several books that Seto himself found quite good, and once or twice Seto found himself muttering jokes based of the teacher's ridiculous lectures. Honda would occasionally smirk or even chuckle at the comments, making some of his own. Seto found this infinitely amusing, despite Honda's…unfortunate choice of friends. Despite his better judgment, Seto started to acknowledge Honda even outside the classroom. He wouldn't use the word "friend" to describe his interactions with Honda, but he was definitely several levels higher on Seto's list than the mutt.
And this was what Seto was afraid of.
One day Seto was sitting in his assigned desk, reading. At least he appeared to be reading. In reality he was trying his best to keep his eyes open and not to fall out of the chair. It had been weeks since he had a decent night's sleep, and the thought of having his reputation marred by something like falling asleep in class was out of the question. That was something the average, know-nothing teenager did. Like the mutt. Not Seto Kaiba. So he sat like a zombie, desperately trying to focus on the words before him to keep him awake.
He didn't even hear Honda saying his name. It wasn't until Honda tapped his shoulder that Seto noticed his presence. His wild blue eyes shot over, thinking to see the pale angel of his terrors.
Of course, he was a bit frazzled to see Honda's face right there. He had to hold the desk to keep from falling.
Honda snorted a bit. "Hello," he said in a sing-song tone. "Anyone home?"
After giving Honda quite the glare, Seto just mumbled in irritation. "Hmph."
"Well, aren't we friendly this morning?" Honda rolled his eyes and sat down. "What's up, Johnny Sunshine? You look like you haven't slept in years."
Seto flinched a bit. He really didn't want to explain his problems to Honda. After all, what would keep him from telling his fellow groupies? Not to mention Seto DID NOT have "problems."
"Problems in the company," Seto said dully, not even glancing at the other. Perfectly reasonable explanation.
Not really. Honda just arched a brow. "Huh," he practically snorted. "So are you going to tell me the real reason you look like hell, or are we just gonna play the delusional CEO some more? Because that's always good fun."
Seto gave him an annoyed glance. He'd clearly underestimated this Honda. Dammit. Seto was going insane. His mind was on the edge of utter insanity, driven mad by his visions of the girl and the utter lack of rest that ailed his weary body. If it were just exhaustion, there would be no issue. But the images of the girl and the dreams that haunted him day and night were unforgettable. Her smile appeared in his mind. The feel of her kiss burned. Her voice lingered in his ear.
I'll find a way, and I'll always be with you. I love you, Seto-sama…
"THIS IS EARTH, CALLING SETO KAIBA. DO YOU READ?"
Once again, Seto's dream shattered in to reality. He flailed slightly and looked up at Honda. Somehow, Seto had fallen to the floor, and Honda was hovering over his desk.
"I give you a 9.5 for the dismount, but an 8.3 for the landing. You didn't stick it," Honda said calmly.
Groaning, Seto pulled himself up to his chair, ignoring the girlish giggles behind him. "How do you not stick a fall?" he muttered.
"Your head sort of bounced off the floor. I didn't know human heads did that."
"Glad I helped you learn something," Seto replied, rubbing his head a bit. There'd definitely be a bump there fairly soon.
"So are you gonna tell me why you look like hell or not?" Honda cut to the chase.
"If I don't?" Seto asked.
"Hey, it's not really my problem. You're the one that just passed out. I'm just trying to be a nice guy, here," Honda shrugged, kicking his feet up onto his desk and leaning back. "Come on; tell Dr. Honda what's the matter."
Seto no longer thought he was going insane. He was far past that point. Without even a pause or initial thought, he spat out, "I can't sleep because of this dream." He paused. Had he…?
Oh shit.
Honda blinked. "Well. That was oddly easy," he said, leaning forward with intrigue in his eyes. "What kind of dream?"
"Forget it," answered the flustered Seto.
"The hell I will," Honda shook his head. "You let it slip. Now you have to explain."
"I don't have to explain anything to you," Seto snapped. There was no way this would end well.
"Geez, don't get your panties in a wad," Honda scoffed.
"…What?"
"Figure of speech, bright eyes."
"Witty."
"I try."
"Hm," Seto muttered. Now he was just irritated at himself. How could he just let something like that slip? Obviously this lack of rest was affecting him more than he thought it was. His mind was completely exhausted, his body even more so. For the first time in nearly 10 years, all Seto Kaiba wanted to do was crawl into a ball and sulk. Maybe…
"If I tell you, and you tell anyone else, I will kill you," Seto said cautiously. He was taking a major chance here, and his pride felt like it was being stabbed, but he was just this desperate.
Honda blinked. "Yeah, kay."
"I mean it," Seto glared. "I will take a gun to your head and not hesitate to pull the trigger."
"Jeez, okay," Honda rolled his eyes. "I promise I won't say anything."
"Swear it," Seto wanted to be one hundred percent sure this wouldn't leak out.
"Jesus, man, yes! I swear! Do you want me to pinky swear? Sacrifice a small rodent? Promise you my first born? What? I won't tell anyone, alright?" Honda said, exasperated.
Despite his lingering skepticism, Seto's blue eyes glared tiredly down at his desk as he once again considered the options. "It's about a girl," he finally admitted, keeping his voice low. Was it bad that it was actually causing him physical pain to admit his problem involved a girl?
Honda just…gaped for a minute. "Are you serious?" he said, as though expecting this was all a big joke. "You're…you're not serious."
Kaiba glared back at him wearily. "Do I not look serious to you, half-wit?" he snapped in a hushed tone. "And keep your voice down."
Honda blinked absently for another moment before coming back to reality. "What happened?"
"…Honestly I don't know," Seto said. "In the dream I'm in this desert, and she's there and…" he didn't need to go into what she said, right? "And then there's an earthquake, and she falls into a crevice."
"…huh," Honda said oh-so-intelligently. "Does she say anything to you?"
"…no."
"…Kaiba."
"Oh fine," Seto admitted defeat. "She…she says that she loves me," he said, the volume of his voice getting lower with every word until he could barely hear himself. "And she kisses me." Whatever was left of Seto's shattered pride had just been torched by a flamethrower.
Out of the corner of his eye, Seto saw a small grin cross Honda's face, and the ashes of his pride were now being danced on.
"Was she hot?" Honda asked, intrigued.
Apparently, that dance was the River dance.
"What does that matter?" Kaiba hissed, burying his face into his hands. "God, I don't know why I'm even telling you this. I must be more pathetic than I thought," he groaned. He even thought about going home, stopping only at the drug store to pick up several bottles of sleeping pills. Maybe a drug-induced coma would end his suffering.
Honda laughed very lightly. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I couldn't resist," he said sympathetically. "But can you really blame me?"
"I could. But I won't because the little part of my brain that's in tact knows you have nothing to do with it," Seto admitted.
"Well, good."
"The rest of my brain is telling me to grab the teacher's pointer and shove it down your throat."
"...let's ignore that little homicidal part of your head, okay?"
Kaiba sighed heavily and sat straight in his chair, looking up faintly at the ceiling. "What truly bothers me is that I don't know who she is. I ask her who she is, but she just smiles this dopey little grin and plummets to her doom. It doesn't make any sense," he explained coldly. Putting into such simple terms eased his mind a bit, but her image still lingered in his memory. "And every time I close my eyes I see her."
"Wow, man, that's pretty heavy," Honda said, letting out a small whistle. He paused, appearing to think crucially about something. "He'd kill me if I told you this, but Jou had kind of the same sort of thing a couple of months ago."
Seto cringed at the sound of the mutt's name. That was exactly what he needed; his problems compared with that dunce of a street rat. "Thanks. That's so helpful," he snapped.
"No, I'm serious," Honda persisted. "Come on. Even you had to notice how unusually spacey the guy was in the weeks after Battle City. No matter how much you hate him, no one could ignore the fact he came to school in his pajamas on Valentine's Day."
"Oh yeah. Those boxers with the hearts were quite festive."
"Unintentionally. And the best part is those were his lucky boxers, then he sat down trying to play it off and didn't realize some girl left chocolate in his chair," Honda said snickering at the memory despite himself.
"I think the most disturbing part of that story is the fact you know which are his 'lucky' boxers."
Honda paused for a moment. "Back to my original point. The reason he was so out of it was because he kept having this recurring dream about Kujaku Mai."
"That blonde woman from the tournament?"
"That's the one. He kept having this dream about when her soul was taken by Malik. It would just play over and over in his head, even though he knew she was completely fine in the real world. I don't remember exactly, but at some point in the dream he was in a sort of black hole, and Mai was with him, and right when she would kiss him she just vanished and he would wake up in a cold sweat. It drove him completely insane, and he couldn't sleep at all."
This was sounding all too familiar to Seto. The very fact that Jounouchi Katsuya had some idea what was going on inside his head was revolting; almost suicide worthy in his present state of mind. Had he fallen so far as to have some similar distress to that joke of a human being?
"But anyway, you could talk to him. I'll bet if you're civil he'll help at least a little. After all, at some point he just stopped and went back to being his usual hyperactive, dopey self. Wouldn't tell me why, but he got better," Honda shrugged. "So he figured something out."
Seto cringed. "I don't want to talk to your doggie friend," he said flatly. This was getting out of control. "What makes you think I'd go so low as to ask Rover for advice?"
"The fact that you now have a bump the size of a baseball on your head because you fell out of your chair?" Honda arched a brow.
"…Nonetheless," Kaiba said, tone dull as ever. "Hell will freeze over before I go asking the mutt what I should do. That's completely absurd."
Honda shrugged once more. "I'm just saying. Despite what you think, he's not a complete moron. Just a little thick," he smirked. "And it's not like you have a lot of other options, do you?"
"Ritual suicide crossed my mind a few times."
"For once, don't be a smartass and admit I'm right." Seto paused at that. "I'll take your silence as your admittance defeat."
"…I don't want to talk to him about this," Kaiba said quite firmly. "I didn't even want to talk to you."
"Fine, whatever, Kaiba," Honda sat back in his chair. "You just go along your sleepless way and I'll enjoy my nightly eight hours of undisturbed rest."
"…that was cruel."
"I know," Honda grinned cheekily.
The bell for the end of the school day rang, and Seto rolled his eyes as his entire class jumped up with grins and bursts of joy for their freedom. They raced out the door, and Seto noticed Honda point down at the mutt before he too rushed out of the room. Seto frowned sternly. Jounouchi had actually slept through the commotion. This was not helping Seto acknowledge that the blonde might be useful for once.
His desperation was at a breaking point after his conversation with Honda, so he rose from his chair and walked over to the dog's chair. He reconsidered when he thought he saw drool on the desk, but thankfully he was mistaken.
"Wake up, mutt," he said, trying to sound aloof. Jounouchi didn't stir at all, and Seto rolled his eyes. He reached up and smacked the blonde in the back of the head. "Rise and shine, dunce."
Jounouchi awoke with a start, nearly jumping out of his seat. His eyes opened wide as he made sense of his situation. It took a moment for him to realize that Seto had disturbed him, and that school was over. "Kaiba? What the hell!" he spat, his wide eyes narrowing suddenly. "Why'd you hit me? Far as I remember I didn't make one shot at you today."
"Your mere existence is an insult to me, Rover. But as much as I hate to admit it," he paused, once again considering jumping out the window. "…Your friend Honda mentioned you might be useful to me. I have a slight issue that I must attend to." Seto stood up straight and proud, refusing to show weakness. He may have been able to be more natural with Honda, but that was not possible with Jounouchi.
The blonde blinked up at Seto in disbelief. He arched a brow dully. "This is some kinda joke, right? What the hell do you want with me? And why would I help you anyway?"
"I don't need your help. I require assistance," Seto insistence.
"Sematics," Jou snapped back quickly.
Seto sighed unhappily. "Number one, the term is semantics, you dweeb," he said. "Two, he told me about your little dream episode from before. The one with the blonde woman that turned you into a sniveling pile of goo."
Jou's eyes opened wide again, seemingly out of fear and embarrassment. "He…he told you!" Jou squeaked. "Why that sunnova-"
"I don't care to talk about your friend's disloyalty to you, mutt," Seto interrupted. "But nonetheless, I find myself in a somewhat similar situation. I've been having a dream of my own that is causing me some distress. Honda suggested you had figured out some way of making it stop, and I just want you to tell me."
Jou's anger seemed to subside as Seto explained himself, and a look of pure skepticism crossed his face. Kaiba clenched his hands a bit. He was getting the feeling that this would be harder than he thought. "What? Why the hell should I help you? And what makes you think that your situation was anything like mine?"
"I have my reasons. Just tell me," Seto demanded.
"The hell I will," Jounouchi snapped, crossing his arms. "That was my business and Honda never shoulda told you in the first place. Besides, I still don't see a legit reason for me to help you," the blonde said too calmly for Seto's taste.
"Mutt, I don't have time for this," Kaiba said scornfully.
"I got all day."
"I don't doubt that."
"You're not convincing me."
Seto sighed heavily. "Fine. I'm having a dream about a girl and it's driving me mildly insane. I heard about what yours was and it sounds vaguely familiar to my own predicament. I'm not in the best way right now, and it would be helpful if you told me how you got your own nightmare to stop," he finally admitted. He was getting use to that dull ache of his hurt ego.
And the blank look on Jounouchi's face wasn't helping either. There was a calculating look in the blonde's eyes, as though he were evaluating Seto. "All right, fine," Jou finally agreed casually. "But I wanna hear all the details of this dream."
"No deal," Seto snapped.
"Then I walk," Jounouchi shrugged, going through the motions of gathering his things.
"All right, fine," Kaiba grumbled. Sitting in the chair next to Jou, Seto proceeded to give him a detailed account of what happened in his dream. Humiliating as it was, Jounouchi didn't make it near as bad as Seto had anticipated. Once he finished his story, Jou looked up thoughtfully and tapped his chin for a few moments. This just made Seto anxious. "Well?" he asked impatiently.
"It does sound a bit like my own dream," Jounouchi said.
"We've established that, mutt. Now tell me how you made it stop," the CEO demanded. He was growing tired of this.
"Okay, okay, geez," Jou rolled his eyes, running a hand through his messy hair. "In my dream, it's true that Mai kissed me then pulled away and disappeared. What I didn't tell Honda was that I was getting pulled away by these…anonymous hands. It was really odd. And I would see Mai getting dragged off by that Malik freak," a tinge of resentment resonated in Jou's voice then, "-and despite how I screamed to her I just sort of limply fell back and then I'd wake up."
"That's fine and dandy, Jounouchi," Seto said dully. "But what does that have to do with anything?"
"Are you even listening, blockhead?" Jounouchi sighed with slight exasperation. "It's sort of the same. I didn't go after Mai in the dream because I was being held back by something. And I think I was afraid of getting my soul taken, too."
"You sure seemed gung-ho about it back at the tournament," Seto recalled. "I don't remember you being concerned about yourself back then."
"Well, that was different," Jou said. "Her life was on the line, and I couldn't just let this guy take her. There were more important things than my own fear. But come on, man. Bottom line is I could've died! Of course I was scared! I was scared out of my mind!" Jounouchi's voice rose a bit. "And this was a dream. I guess that's where all my fear sort of manifested."
Seto held back a comment about Jou even knowing the word manifested and asked, "So what did you do?"
"For awhile I didn't know what to do. I thought it would just pass, but those dreams just kept coming. And they got worse and worse till pretty soon I saw it while I was awake."
Hearing these similarities calmed Seto a bit. But not much.
"So after a few weeks sans sleep," Jou said, "-I decided there had to be something to do. So one night I went to bed, and of course that dream started, and it reached the point where Mai would…kiss me," a faint blush crossed Jou's cheeks then. "And instead of letting us get dragged off, I threw my arms around her and refused to let go. And she looked up at me and said 'Aren't you afraid?' And I told her that I was, but that wasn't important. And after that, everything went black, and I woke up 14 hours later. I haven't had that dream since."
Seto blinked a bit. Maybe it was just his tired mind, but for some reason he wasn't getting the bottom line. "So what should I do?"
"Well, in your dream this girl is falling into some canyon, right?"
"Correct."
"Have you ever tried jumping in after her?"
"What? No. That'd be crazy."
"One, it's a dream. Two, why don't you?"
"Because in real life no sane person willingly jumps into canyons," Seto said blandly. "Though it is a dream…"
"And people don't jump into canyons because of…" Jou said, egging Seto on.
"Because it's completely asinine," he replied coldly, receiving a disapproving sigh from Jou.
"Because they're afraid," Jounouchi supplied. "You're afraid of something, Kaiba. And what ever it is, you're not going to stop having this dream until you realize that."
Seto…paused. Was this Jounouchi…making sense? Did he actually say something profound? Kaiba thought he might have a heart attack. Or a stroke. Billionaire CEO Seto Kaiba; Died from a stroke at age 16.
"Anyway," Jou rose from his desk, throwing his bag over his shoulder and shoving his free hand in his pocket. "That's my thought. So good luck with getting some sleep. You look like hell." And with that, Jounouchi turned towards the door and walked out casually, leaving Seto quite bewildered, but a bit enlightened.
Tonight, Seto would end this madness.
The familiar feel of desert wind nipped at Seto's cheeks. He looked around until he saw her once again, standing with that calm smile as her white hair whipped around her angelic face. She approached him, and whispered into his ear the words he'd heard so many times before. And as always, the ground broke beneath them, and the girl fell. Seto grabbed her hand, pleading with her once more not to let go. She smiled, kissed him, and pried her hand away from his own and fell in to the abyss as always.
But Seto didn't just scream for her this time. He was determined to see this through. He swung his legs over the side and pushed off the canyon wall. He was falling into the darkness, and soon was surrounded by blackness. He felt his body free falling, until he slammed into a floor he couldn't see. No pain overcame him, so he stood and looked in the darkness.
Suddenly, he saw her again, sitting at the other end of the cavern. She was glowing; shining in the black cave. She had a radiance that reminded him of the moon; eerie but stunningly beautiful. He approached her, dazed.
"You finally came," she said kindly. "I've been waiting."
"Who are you?" Seto asked.
"I'm always with you, Seto-sama. I'll always protect you, so you don't have to be afraid," the girl said, rising to her feet.
"Why won't you answer me?" he said, pleading slightly. "Tell me who you are."
"It doesn't matter. You'll learn soon enough," she shook her head. "All you need to know is that no harm will come to you, because I won't let it. I love you, Seto-sama." She placed a small kiss on his lips, and then her light went out. Seto's dream world faded into blackness once more.
Bright sunlight glared right into Seto's weary eyes. They opened a bit, and he put out a hand to block the violent rays. After he felt somewhat oriented, he looked over at the clock on his nightstand. The red numbers glowed with 3:48 PM. He had slept all morning long.
Slowly, he sat up, ruffling his brown hair a bit and yawning. He felt calm and rejuvenated. He looked to the mirror across the room and saw that wild air about him had disappeared. His blue eyes had returned to their stoic, unyielding state, and his complexion was back to normal.
He refrained from jumping out of bed to leap for joy. But he was happy, and a genuine smile found a way to his face. He was free of that blasted curse! A huge weight lifted off his shoulders as he flopped back into bed, almost cackling with relief. He looked back at the clock, but his eyes fell on something besides the numbers. There was a Duel Monsters card lying face down in front of the clock. Seto always made sure that cards weren't lying about. He liked them in one place. So to see one card lying before him was unusual and a bit disconcerting. But his newfound relief wasn't about to give way so easily. He picked up the card to check what it was before putting it in its proper place.
He froze as two bright blue eyes stared back at him. This card was one of his most prized possessions. His Blue Eyes White Dragon. As he looked at it in his hands, he felt very calm, despite the sudden escalation of his heart beat. The girl flashed in his mind, though he had no idea why. He wanted to get the card out of his hand, for fear that the dream might return. But those calm, gentle words kept him from doing so. You don't have to be afraid.
After a moment, he reached into his drawer and placed the card back into his deck. Best not to think about it, he decided. He got up and walked to the door, thinking about how if he went to school tomorrow and heard anything about his previous demeanor or dream, the mutt and his friend would die.
Author's Notes: Well there it is. Hope you liked it!