Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters mentioned are the property of J. K. Rowling
Warnings: Satire/Parody
Author's Notes: I'm don't really write much for the Harry Potter fandom, but I hear a lot about it from a friend of mine who does, and after Book 6 came out, we both agreed that this needed to be written. Also, please note that with regards to any and all of the pairings mentioned, I take an attitude of complete neutrality (one of the nice things about not officially being in the fandom is that I can do that).

The Song of the Doomed 'Ships
By Rapunzel
(To be sung to the tune of Dido's song "White Flag")

I know that Harry likes Ginny 'cause Book 6 just told us that.
And Hermione has Ron, though they're not quite a couple. I still cling to that.
And though the new book has killed the Harmony, I can still stand firm

'Cause I will go down with this 'ship
I won't put my pen down and surrender
There will be no blank page upon my desk
I insist my pair is canon

I know that Harry and Draco are not friends in any way.
And they can't stand each other. The author has made that as plain as day.
But does that mean that there's no love between them? Of course it does not.

I will go down with this 'ship
I won't put my pen down and surrender
There will be no blank page upon my desk
I insist my pair is canon

When Rowling writes the pair to be
I still insist they're OOC
I'll still hold firm and write my pair
Because the proof is everywhere

I will go down with this 'ship
I won't put my pen down and surrender
There will be no blank page upon my desk
I insist my pair is canon