A/N: Heya, everyone. I'se TBoneTony and I'se a grate writer. I'se a better writer than u. I like lemons and fluff and my storys are so totally wickedly cool awwsome they are cool. I bet u will be shocked and uppalled by my storys. I like to write. So I write for myself, not you. Go shove your flames up your butt, cuz I never ever ever will listen and I'se just keep on writing smut. Smut turns me on, yeaah. For more info read my profile, seriously man. It'll explan things.
I was having wet dreams when I was 3, so I started writing fluffy lemons. I LIKE ZELDA! rock on, she's cool's what she is. I have no girlfriend and I never have. I'se cool two. I'se a pervert and girls having sexx turns me on. I can't get no girl to have sex with me, so I have to buy videos. I don't know why. I'se cool. I knows about writing's what I know about. I should be wolking down teh streets and the girls go, "Oh tony ride my pony! Hehe!" If you want to give me some relashunship adive, review plz! OMG! Story time! Don't get affended gurls!
One day Princess Zelda was in her room knocking herself up when a snake came in and ate her. She cried, "Ow, my ovaries!" She went telelelelepathick with Link and he rode on his stallion Epona and he saved her what he did. He cut teh snake's head off and then fucked up Zelda. She imagined she was in quicksand what she did imagine. The end.
Kwiksand cool, I like it. I'se never been in it, but it rapes girls so it must be cooool's what it must be cause I like sexx. If anyone knows any hot man eatin plant scenes from Zelda I'se be cool. Review me and don't flame! World peace, hizzah!
One dae Link fell into Zelda's garden and yelled, "Fuckin shiiiiiiiit" what he yelled and Zelda heard. She took him into her soundproof bedroom and fucked him up a bazillion times in a row man she's horny. Link told her that slime was eating her and a Deku plant was sucking his member off. That's just Zelda's what it was. They climaxed a bazillion times in a row, Zelda sang him a crap lullaby, the end.
One day Link tuk Zelda and Malon campin and all 3 of them rode Epona his trusty stallion who had sexx with Ruto (whoa, transgender! I just got an erecktion writing this!) and Malon put bugs in Zelda's sleeping bag and took of Zelda's clothes. I don't know how one takes off sumone's clothes while thaze asleep. I should try it. In the meantime Link was off having an orgy with 9 Gerudos, Ganunderf, Shiek, and Navi's what he did dude. Next Zelda cut off Malon's dress, whaaaaaaaa. Pretty kinky. Then the two womens ran into kwicksand (omg, another erecktion, one minute) and the sand raped their womunhoods so they knocked each uther up. Link sizaved them cuz he's a hero and then sed, "Doh, how's about a 3some relashunship" kinky. They all fucked each uther and dey were happy.
One day Link was gunna take Zelda to the adult video store on a date but she got raped by blue slime in her bathtub her father forgot to pay da water bill that stupid jackass. So Link saves her and takes her for tea and dimsung. Dat night she has dream that she in kwicksand (hold on---another erecktion) but Link dudn't save her. She wake up going, "whaaaaaaaa, Link, fuck me or I throw tantrum" so they fuck each other, the end.
Dude, my story awwsomely rocks review review review! Yeeaaaaah! It is unique and I be devious!