A/N: Okay everyone, I decided to do a Brady bunch Fic. Yes that's right, the freaky lil goth boy is doing a Brady Bunch fic. But before you jump to conclusions, this isn't the Brady bunch we all no and love, oooh no. this is the real Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch they didn't show on T.V

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"Brady Bunch Gone wild"

It was a peaceful day in the Brady house. The kids were in their rooms studying, Allis was making the family dinner (Pork chops and apple sauce), and Mr. and Mrs. Brady were in the living room Watching T.V and reading the newspaper. "Honey!" said Mr. Brady.

"What is it dear?" questioned Mrs. Brady, putting her section of the paper down.

"Get a load of this!" He began to read from an article in the paper. "Local talent show auditions are being held on November, 26th .Winners of the talent show will receive 1000 dollars in cash and a trip to Hawaii." He looked at Mrs. Brady and grinned.

"November, 26th… Why that's tomorrow!" exclaimed Mrs. Brady.

"Well I guess its time for a family meeting!" said Mr. Brady. He called the children down from their rooms and asked them to sit down. When everyone was comfortably seated (Including Allis) Mr. Brady began to speak. "Kids, Your mother and I think it would be a great experience if we all tried out for the local talent show, as a family of course. What do you guys think?" questioned Mr. Brady.

"Wow dad sounds like a really groovy idea but what would we do?" questioned Greg.

"I know what we could do!" exclaimed Jan. "We could make a band!"

"Jan, that's a real dumb idea!" said Cindy. The Family thought for a few seconds when Marsha came up with an idea.

"I know, we could make a band!" said Marsha.

"WOW! That's a groovy idea Marsha!" said Bobby. Jan was overcome with rage.

"I said that and no one liked it. Now little miss Malibu Barbie over there says something about it and everyone likes it! What the hells that all about?" yelled Jan.

"Oh Jan!" said Marsha. "Stop being so immature. Just because everyone thinks your ideas are stupid, doesn't mean you have to get all jealous and stuff." Jan stared at Marsha with a look of hate.

"Okay then, it's settled, we will make a band!" said Mr. Brady. "Now what will we call ourselves?" The family pondered on this for a few minutes, then Jan Began to speak.

"I know, we could call ourselves…. the Brady Bunch!"

"Once again Jan, That's a real dumb idea." said Cindy. Jan sneered at her.

"I know!" said Marsha. "We could call ourselves…the Brady Bunch!"

"WOW Marsha, what a groovy name!" said Greg.

"Were do you come up with all these ideas?" questioned peter.

"Jesus Christ people!" yelled Jan "What the hells up with you people. It's like I don't even exist! It's always about Marsha… MARSHA, MARSHA, MARSHA!" Yelled Jan. She ran up to her room crying.

"Gee Wiz, Who put the stick up her ass?" said Bobby with a smile. Everyone laughed, and then continued on with their daily routine.

Jan lay in her bed crying. She sat up, and stared at herself in the vanity mirror, and began to talk to herself. "It's always about Marsha. Well for once it will be about me. I will teach that bleach blond bimbo not to mess with me!" She stared at herself for only a second more then punched the mirror. She picked up a sharp piece of glass from the pile and began to cut herself.

Meanwhile Mr. Brady was in the kitchen helping Allis prepare Dinner. "Thank you for the help Mr. Brady! I don't think these chops would have been done on time if you hadn't come to my rescue!"

"No problem Allis! Beside that's what family is for." He went to hug her, but instead found himself kissing her. And I don't mean a peck on the cheek; I mean they were swapping some serious spit dude. They could have gone on for hours but they were interrupted by a loud scream. It was Marsha!

"OW, my nose!" yelled Marsha. She cupped her hands over her mangled nose, trying to keep the blood off her new blouse

"Marsha! What happened?" asked Mr. Brady.

"That crazy psycho bitch threw a bowling ball at me!" exclaimed Marsha. She pointed at Jan with her bloody finger.

"Jan, Is this true?" questioned Allis. Jan hesitated for a few seconds then burst into tears.

"Yes, it's true; I did throw that bowling ball at Marsha. But that stupid bitch had it coming!" Screamed Jan. she ran into the bathroom and began to cut herself with the edge of a broken toothbrush. She looked around the bathroom, when she came across a large bottle of pills marked "Laxatives." She smiled as she began to plot out more revenge on Marsha.

Meanwhile Mr. Brady sat in his study trying to work. He just couldn't concentrate. All he could think of was the kiss he and Allis shared. What bothered him the most was that he liked it. The sick fuck liked it. "Damn it!" said Mr. Brady. "There is only one way to solve this. I must talk to Allis. I can't let this bother me all day. I will just explain to her that I am a married man and that I can't go around fucking the hired help!" And that is exactly what he did. That's right lady and germs, He boned the maid.

"Mr. Brady." Said Allis, who was lighting up a cigarette

"Yes Allis" Replied Mr. Brady.

"What are we doing? I mean, your married, you have 6 kids, and to top it all off, I'm old enough to be your mom!"

"I don't know Allis. I too am having trouble understanding it all."

"We have to stop this!" said Allis. "If Mrs. Brady were to ever find out, she would be devastated, I don't want to hurt her. Mike… I'm going to move out."

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A/n: Dun, Dun, Dun! Told you it wasn't the same Brady Bunch. Of course this is continued. I still have a lot more twisted ideas running through my sick little mind. What will Jan do with those Laxatives, will Allis move out, Will Jan eventually get sick of it all and just kill her self. AAAAHHH! So many possibilities! Hmm well to find out you will just have to read my next chapter, when I write it of course. Well loves I'm outy.