Title: Three
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Eight
Category: Drama, Angst, A/A
Spoilers: Heroes, Lockdown, Zero Hour, Icon, with minor spoilers from other seasons.
Pairing/Character: Daniel/Janet, Team
Summary: The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come. As Daniel hears these words play over and over in his mind, he has to make a decision that could change his life and the lives of his friends forever.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Written for the November DanJan Challenge: Develop your plot around the number three. It's up to you what the number signifies in your fic, but it must be a crucial element to the storyline.
Thanks Meg for beta-ing this for me, as always.
Disclaimer: Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned establishments
"It's right through here."
Daniel nodded, stepping off the dirt pathway to follow Bill into the woods. From what Daniel could tell, just based on the overgrowth on, by, and around the makeshifts roads, whatever civilization had flourished here were long gone. Sighing, he ran his hand down the trunk of one of the trees, relishing the rough texture for a brief moment before moving onward.
Lately, it seemed that no matter where they went, the peoples they met had either advanced to a point technologically that Daniel had difficulty tracing their true origins, sometimes even connecting to them at all, or they were quickly approaching that stage, while other times they found ruins of long dead civilizations, ones that barely left a trace of their history, their legacy.
And, either way, they ended up shot at, caught in a war, or some other disaster.
"Try not to get shot this time," Jack had told him.
"Technically, you're the last one who shot me," he had replied.
"Yeah, well…"
That had been what Daniel liked to call his "personal" briefing. Though, he suspected that Sam and Teal'c had them as well. Jack couldn't help but be on edge after what had happened over the past few months.
Or, more accurately, possibly longer.
They'd always run into problems on missions even from the very start. Inevitably, they ran into trouble. It was what they did. It just seemed lately—lately—the missions they went on left him feeling tired and heavy.
Sam thought maybe it was the stress from Tegalus. Daniel wasn't so sure.
With all the problems, changes, and loss they'd experienced this past year, Daniel wasn't surprised they seemed to just be going through the motions. They were all feeling the pressure.
He wondered if this was what life was like after he had…gone.
Deciding not to dwell on any more depressing thoughts, Daniel snapped out of his reverie. With a hop, Daniel sidestepped a small tree that had fallen. Just a little sapling…Broken, twisted, dead.
He sighed.
"I just know you're going to like this, Daniel," Bill said, pushing away a vine or two before he beckoned Daniel with the wave of his hand. "It's just incredible."
Again, Daniel nodded, but he had to admit he wasn't really feeling excited. Half the lost civilizations they'd found over the past two months hadn't even given Daniel an iota of information about their history.
"Look, look. Isn't it great?" Bill said excitedly.
The shrine had fallen into obvious ruin. Only less than three quarters of the building remained standing, most of which constituted the limestone framework. Any art, architectural design, or trace of vibrancy this place once held was gone, replaced with wear and out of control vegetation.
Daniel pressed his hand against the remains of one of the few standing walls. "This place has been abandoned for a long time."
Bill looked confused over Daniel's lack of enthusiasm. "Don't bother with the walls!" Bill tugged at his arm. "In here."
Frowning, Daniel followed Bill around the corner onto the other side of the wall. A quick assessment of the layout told Daniel this had once been a room; the inner walls of the chamber had collapsed in on itself and the rubble along the perimeter could be some indication of household, religious, or political use. He would have to sift through any refuse to see if there was any ritual significance.
All of which was fine and good, of course, if Daniel had been in the mood for it.
"Bill—"
"No, Daniel. Here."
Daniel was starting to feel like a lost puppy. Or a coerced one. Mumbling under his breath, he followed Bill around some of the broken walls, over to a little niche on the side of the once-room. More stone, more decay, more crumbling structures, more…
Daniel stopped and stared at the, the…
"I knew you'd like it," Bill said proudly. "We found it yesterday."
"It" was a large bulbous stone, stuck to the side of a ruined wall, almost oval, but too irregular and asymmetrical. Smooth and glassy, but dark and opaque, the stone material reminded Daniel of the little ebony figurines he used to try to steal from the vendors in Cairo when he traveled to Egypt with his parents. Only this wasn't any kind of ancient sculpture work, or at least not like anything he had ever seen. No face, no likeness. Just a smooth, bulging surface.
Like a Buddha's belly. Or the pregnant fertility figures he had in his apartment.
Daniel licked his lips, resisting the urge to rub his palm down its slick surface. Bill was right. It was incredible.
"It doesn't have any markings," Daniel said aloud, walking around its semi-circumference. "Untouched. No nicks, no wear." He stopped in front of it and crossed his arms. "It's like new."
"I know," Bill said from behind him. "Talk about strange. I knew it would be right up your ally."
Daniel raised his eyebrows at that remark and glanced back at Bill. He fought hard to suppress a smile as he sized up the befuddled scientist.
"I-well. I didn't mean for it—"
Daniel chuckled, soliciting another frown from Bill. But he didn't reply, instead returning his attention back to the stone. "So, when did you find it?"
"Yesterday afternoon."
"Yes, right," Daniel said, recalling that bit of information. He paced in front of the sculpture, eyeing the wall surrounding the stone carefully. "Just you or—"
"No, no. Captain Monaghan was watching over me." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "I don't know why everyone has to keep an eye on me," Bill mumbled. "Oh, be careful there, Daniel. There's an electric charge."
Daniel froze, taking a step back from the monument, part of him wishing that Bill had supplied that information earlier. "An electric charge?" he asked over his shoulder.
"Magnetic, electric. Even some solar readings. I've never seen anything like it." Daniel could just imagine Bill's eyes sparkling. "I can't wait to take this baby apart."
"Yeah, Bill. Maybe we should wait until we know what it is," Daniel said. If being on SG-1 had taught him one thing, it was that even unsuspecting items could be a problem. Especially ones that could safely be labeled as having a "charge."
"Well, no, no. You see—"
Suddenly, it dawned on Daniel. "You didn't touch it, did you?"
"No, no. I…Well, no…uh, yes."
Daniel just stared at him.
"Well, nothing happened," Bill said defensively. "It didn't spark or anything."
Just like the quantum mirror didn't do anything, Daniel thought miserably. For all he knew, the Bill in front of him might not be the right one.
"You didn't feel a jolt? You feel fine…"
Bill's defensive posture changed to one of annoyance. "I'm a trained scientist, Daniel. I took all the necessary precautions. I've tested it, double checked it, and quantified it."
Daniel could barely keep himself from smiling. He couldn't help but feel a little like Jack right about now. "You really have no idea, do you?"
"Well, I…no. But I will," he added quickly.
Daniel nodded, but wasn't sure he wanted to experience the means to get to that end.
After sneaking another contemptuous look at Bill, Daniel shrugged off his pack and started to unpack some of his equipment. Quietly, he withdrew a pad and a pencil, one of his brushes, and a pair of gloves. After he snapped one of the gloves onto his hands, he approached the object and surveyed the wall in its entirety. Frowning, he looked over his shoulder to Bill. "Where are the writings?"
Bill blinked at him. "The what?"
"The glyphs," Daniel said, somewhat impatiently. "The reason why you called us here."
"Oh, right, right." Bill joined him quickly before squeezing between the object and another part of the wall. "Right here," he said pointing to the lower left corner of the wall. "It looks like writing of some kind."
Daniel leaned to his left, nearly bumping into Bill as he studied the wall. Bill was right. Even though the symbols were barely legible, it was definitely a form of writing.
"So, this is it?"
Daniel glanced over his left shoulder to see Sam and Teal'c enter the room, or what was left of the room. They were alone, which made Daniel guess that the rest of SG-20 remained stationed at their makeshift base.
"Hey, Sam," Daniel said. Vaguely, he motioned with his hand to the stone and the crumbling walls. "Yeah, this is it."
Sam gave the most imperceptible nod before slowly walking over to meet him. Though she didn't say anything, Daniel could tell that Sam was thinking, her forehead creased with that ever-present frown which had made a permanent home on her face since she'd taken command. While it bothered him, Daniel knew he couldn't do anything to unburden her, not now at least, so he opted to remain silent as he watched her study the artifact.
Quietly, she stalked the object, her gaze perusing its sloped body, down to the grooves where it met the wall. She dipped her head, examining the underbelly of the object, before straightening once again. Daniel didn't miss the not-so-subtle jerk of her hand as she forced herself not to touch the stone.
"It's crystallized," Sam said, the wrinkles in her forehead deepening. "The patterns are evident right on the surface."
"I believe that is what allows the object to build up energy," Bill told her.
Sam stole a quick look to Daniel, then Teal'c, before settling on Bill. "Are you saying that this object is a storage container for…"
"Bill says it gives off an electrical discharge."
That brought Daniel a cold glare from Bill.
Sam exchanged another glance with Teal'c. "And you didn't report this to anyone?"
"Hey, I found the object in question. I haven't had a chance to run all the necessary tests I need to draw any real conclusions." Bill paused. "Once I found the glyphs, I told the others and we called in for SG-1."
That answer seemed to satisfy Sam for the moment, though Daniel could tell she wasn't happy. "What kind of readings have you received from the stone?" she asked instead.
Bill shrugged. "Various measurements. Some audio frequencies." He nodded, more to himself than anyone else, and held up a finger. "I-I have it." He hurried away from the stone. "I have it right here."
Daniel watched the two of them drift off to the far right of the ruined structure and hunch over to where Bill had last dropped his stuff. That left Daniel to do what he did best.
Scooting closer to the object and the wall, Daniel crouched low and withdrew his brush. Carefully, he started to dust away some of the fine debris that had settled into the grooves of the glyphic inscriptions. Oh yeah. Definitely good stuff here.
Daniel barely felt Teal'c approach, nearly jumping when he heard his low but even voice. "Are you able to read the symbols, Daniel Jackson?"
"Uh…well, they're worn, but yeah," Daniel replied. He pivoted his body so he could see the rest of them. "I recognize some of the glyphs."
"Can you make out what it says?" Sam asked. She and Bill had moved to join them.
"Yeah, I think so." Some of the symbols had corroded into nothing, but others remained fully in tact. Daniel reached over for his notebook. "It may take some time, though."
Probably not what Sam wanted to hear, based on the silence that followed. Though, Daniel thought it was more about her nature than displeasure over the mission; SG-20 had stumbled across an alien junk pile, and Daniel was sure that Sam wanted at least a peek at it while they were here.
"Are you sure it's Ancient?" Sam asked.
Daniel smiled, unable to help himself. "The writing's on the wall."
That at least caused Sam's mood to lighten. It was a forced smile, but a smile nonetheless. She pressed her lips together and gazed at him, urging him to continue.
"Yeah, it's definitely Ancient," Daniel said. "Even familiar in some areas," he added with a frown.
"How is this familiar?" Teal'c asked him. "We have not encountered such a device prior to coming to this planet."
"I don't know…"Daniel allowed his voice to trail off as he tried to remember where he could have seen writing like this before. But his mind kept drawing a blank. Though, he knew one thing. "I'd like to stay and see if I can figure out this text," Daniel said. "Maybe it holds some clue about how to work this-this…" He gestured vaguely to the stone.
"I don't know, Daniel."
"It's okay, Sam. Bill touched it and nothing happened," Daniel said, ignoring the exasperated look on Bill's face. "It's just a guess, but I think you need an Ancient gene to activate it."
"Just a guess," she repeated.
"Would it not be prudent to allow for the scientists to continue their studies before we attempt to activate the device?"
Daniel frowned at Teal'c, wishing he wouldn't keep taking Sam's side when it came to off-world matters lately. "I'm not suggesting we turn it on…or off," he quickly added to himself. "But there could be something valuable within the text that might tell us what this is or what it was used for."
"It could be a weapon, or a transportation device, or maybe even a repository," Bill said excitedly. Daniel guessed that all three of their faces showed some kind of distress over that thought, since Bill quickly changed his tune. "Well, a different, safer repository…" he added.
Sam seemed to consider the possibilities before she glanced down at her watch. "I'm going to check in with the general and give him a status report." She stopped, waiting for some confirmation from Daniel.
Daniel smiled, having already slid onto the floor, ready to dive into the translations. "I'm good," he said, answering her silent question. Daniel didn't need Teal'c to watch over him. He was a big boy now. Then, remembering Bill, he gazed at him apologetically. "Sorry, Bill. I'm going to need some quiet."
He could tell Bill was disappointed, but he didn't press the matter this time. And despite the fact Sam and Teal'c still felt nervous since the Tegalus incident, they trusted Daniel enough to let him do what he needed to do. It wasn't like Daniel made it a habit to get into trouble. He didn't actively seek out objects and rub his hands all over them, as some people at the SGC seemed to like to believe. That was only sometimes. As far as Daniel was concerned, Jack had always been the biggest problem off-world, not himself.
Grabbing his notebook, satisfied with himself, Daniel gave a nod to Sam and Teal'c, assuring them that everything would be fine.
"Fine" really was a subjective word.
Daniel stared at the worn and eroded glyphs, wondering if he had read them right. Frustrated, he flipped back a couple of pages, and turned his notebook sideways to read what he'd scribbled in the margins.
No, no…he was right.
The first word he'd stumbled across had read "value." Or maybe "consequence," which actually sounded much worse. There was the puzzling "three by three" and the not-so-puzzling, albeit more disturbing, "danger."
But now?
"Dommo waitus, westol notibilium," Daniel murmured aloud. "Master of the uncertain past."
He knew he had seen some of the glyphs before. How could he forget their mission to P4X-639?
And considering what little Daniel knew about that disaster, Daniel didn't feel like being stuck in a time loop all by himself. He'd seen what that had done to Jack. He also had had the worst morning imaginable, and he wasn't about to relive it for eternity.
"That's enough for me," Daniel said, knowing the other inscriptions were too worn to go any further anyway. Packing up his things, Daniel grabbed his bag and pushed onto a stable part of the wall with his right hand for support.
There was a sudden hum and a pop, and Daniel frowned, feeling a vibration tingle his hand and rise up his arm.
He wasn't touching the wall.
He was touching the stone.
"Crap!"
Startled, he jerked his hand away, rubbing it along the side of his pants to try to ease the prickly sensations. He swore they were getting worse, which had to be bad. Very bad.
He fumbled for his radio with his left hand, wincing as the pins and needles sensation extended over his shoulder and down his side. He could feel it start to creep along his chest, toward his heart, and up his neck.
What if it was a weapon? Why hadn't anything happened to Bill?
Daniel gasped.
What the hell was that?
He heard a low murmur. A mumble? No, they were words, a chant, and it was growing louder, clearer, as if the words were imprinted into his mind. Latin…no, Ancient…in his mind.
Daniel's eyes widened; he found he lacked the strength to even speak. Ancient chants running through his head…Maybe Bill was right and this was another repository.
Daniel was both excited and terrified at the same time. He was able to instantly translate the words.
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
He heard the words, louder, as they continued to repeat. But, unfortunately, the more urgent the mantra became, the more his body wracked with pain and discomfort.
He fell to his knees.
A thousand questions raced through his mind. This couldn't be a repository…it just didn't fit. But, had this been what Jack experienced every time he'd gone through a loop? Jack had never mentioned it. Maybe Jack had mentioned it and Daniel never remembered.
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
He gasped for air, tumbling to the ground as his body gave up on him. The tingling had consumed him completely, while the incessant chanting continued to play like a broken record in his mind.
Bill…what had Daniel done that Bill hadn't?
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
Uh-oh. He'd triggered the device through deciphering the inscriptions. How could he be so stupid?
He moaned, feeling the tingling seep into his ears.
Dommo waitus, westol notibilium, he thought. It had to hold some significance. Three by three. The past. Master of the uncertain past…The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
Then, he remembered another inscription he'd come across. Something about revolutions. By three. Choice. Tries? Three by three.
Oh, God, it hurt.
He thought of sun, of light. Of better days. Days when he wasn't withering in pain on the floor in an abandoned shrine. He thought of Sha're. He thought of barbeques at Jack's place with Sam and Teal'c. He thought of Janet.
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
It made sense. The Ancients had tried again, only this time they'd created some kind of machine, device, or whatever it was in order to change their recent past. That had to be it.
Three by three. Three choices. No, three tries by the three revolutions of the sun. This sun…
Daniel winced, quickly doing the math in his head. The days here were shorter, the years shorter. More time passed here than on Earth. What had Sam said? The difference…Approximately two years on Earth.
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
Daniel panted hard, struggling to breathe as his body started to fall into complete paralysis.
What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to act on this information? Would that make the pain go away?
He couldn't change a thing about himself. He couldn't remember. He wasn't sure he wanted to remember it all, everything that had happened to him to bring him here. If he was going to do something, he wanted to do something that would make a difference. He couldn't save Sha're, not now. But he could…
Janet, he whispered inwardly, sending the stone his silent plea. It was crazy for him to believe this would work, but most people thought he was crazy anyway. He had nothing to lose.
Struggling against the black spots that threatened to consume him, Daniel called outwardly with his mind.
Please don't let Janet die.
The first thing that hit him was the smell of burning flesh and fresh blood. The stomach-churning odor threw Daniel as he tried to make sense of his surroundings and of himself. Gasping, he withdrew his bloody hand and stared with disbelief at the body beneath him.
Simon Wells.
"Oh, God," Daniel muttered, feeling himself grow cold.
"Tell me the truth," Simon said, panting. "I'm not gonna make it, right?"
Daniel didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
Stunned, he stared at the IV in his hand and then back to Simon. "You're gonna be fine…" he heard himself say automatically.
"Doctor Jackson! Please! Please!" Simon cried out, his voice full of panic. "Just let me tell my wife. Let me tell my wife that…"
He found himself looking up, over to his side. And there she was. God, she was there. Real, alive.
Daniel held back the raw shock he felt as he shared a moment with her. One of her final moments.
He had to warn her. He had to save her.
"Okay! Okay," Daniel found himself saying instead. He felt strange, as if he wasn't in control of his own body, a mere observer forced to watch yet another tragedy unfold from his past. He couldn't live like this.
Daniel handed Janet the IV and fumbled for his camera.
Not the camera! he cried to himself. Warn her! Tell her what is going to happen!
But he went about readying the camera anyway, focusing on Simon as Janet continued to work on saving his life. "Got it ... breathe, Simon ... It's okay, Simon..."
"I'm so sorry about this…love you so much." Simon cried in pain. "God, I just--I just wanted…" He wailed, his pain tearing through Daniel, reminding him how raw and painful this job could be, reminding him of the heavy losses he'd suffered. "God-God shut it off. Shut it off, I don't want her to see me die. Please, God."
Daniel hesitated for a moment with the camera, and he wondered if he was now given the chance to make a difference. Heart pounding, he gazed over to Janet, trying to will her to see the urgency in his face.
Janet caught his gaze, but immediately went back to her patient. "Simon, Simon! Look at me you are not going to die, okay? I did not come all the way out here for nothing. Now we've stemmed the bleeding. We're going get you to a stretcher. We're going to get you home with your family in no time, okay? Now, you hang in there airman."
Simon breathed out. "Yes, Ma'am."
Then, before he could say anything, it happened. It happened again.
Daniel tried to cry out, but the blast came quickly. There was a bright light, and a scream of sheer agony, and in the longest moment Daniel had ever felt, Janet was on the ground, her chest burning from the staff blast.
Simon was the first to speak. "Oh God, what happened?" Daniel ignored the sound of gunfire behind him. "Is she hit?"
Panting, Daniel tossed the camera aside, leaning over Janet, trying to do something.
God, he couldn't live through this again. Not again. Not when he'd never had the chance to say what he needed to say.
"I got him!" Bosworth called from somewhere nearby.
But Daniel didn't care. "Janet!"
Bosworth was talking again. Why couldn't he just shut the hell up?
"You're clear Doctor Jackson, sorry but…"
"I need a medic. Fraiser's been hit. I need a medic," he found himself saying.
He felt as if the staff blast had cut through his body. Frantic, he started to search for a pulse.
"Is she okay?" Simon asked.
Daniel couldn't answer him. God, this was a nightmare. "Sierra Gulf Niner ... ugh, I need a medic!"
Where the hell were all the damn medics!
"Jack!" he called into the radio. "Order a medic here! I need a medic!"
Once again, Daniel, nearly in hysterics, searched for a pulse on Janet's motionless form. Maybe he'd misinterpreted the device. Maybe he was all wrong and he would be tortured into relieving this day for all time. Maybe…
Her eyes were closed. They weren't supposed to be closed. They weren't…
Daniel felt someone grab him from behind, pulling him to his feet. "Let's get Fraiser and Wells stabilized. Jackson's in shock. Let's go."
After that, everything was a blur to Daniel. He remembered screams, fire, shuffling, as they were pushed to the Gate. To be honest, he couldn't tell what was the same or what had changed. The chaos and the numbness he felt seemed to blur the lines of reality, jumping back and forth between today and yesterday.
Daniel found himself in the infirmary.
"No, Doctor Jackson, please remain seated."
Daniel blinked at the young woman, a nurse that frequented the base. He felt like he should know her name, but he didn't. He always made it a point to know people's names.
"Who are you?" he asked her.
She eyed him carefully; Daniel was certain he saw a glimmer of anxiety in her eyes. "You don't remember me?"
Daniel sighed and dropped his head into his hands. He could honestly say he didn't care.
"I'll get Doctor Carmichael."
Daniel kept his head bowed. All around him he could hear the sounds of a bustling infirmary, nurses and doctors rushing about, trying to keep the casualty count down. Daniel couldn't even remember how many people they'd lost that day. He felt ashamed.
"Ah, Doctor Jackson," Doctor Carmichael said. Daniel wondered how he could sound so cheerful. "Do you know who I am?"
They thought he was nuts. "Of course," he replied. "And I know who I am and what's happened. You don't have to ask."
"How're you feeling?"
"Wonderful," Daniel muttered, raising his head. "My friend's been shot and she's lying on her deathbed. All in all, it's been a good day."
Carmichael didn't bother to hide the displeasure on his face. But there was also confusion. "Doctor Fraiser is going to be fine. But I want you, and everyone else, to take it easy."
Daniel hadn't gotten past the word "fine." "Janet's okay?"
Doctor Carmichael smiled softly. "Yes, she—"
Daniel jumped off the gurney and brushed past him, heading for the exit. He quickly apologized to one of the doctors, whom he had nearly knocked over, and charged out the door.
He could hear Carmichael calling out after him, but he didn't care. He had to see for himself.
Daniel jogged into one of the other rooms in the infirmary, squeezing past a couple of protesting doctors to find the gurney where Janet had been lying. He remembered it like it was yesterday, or today, technically, and how time seemed to have stood still. Through the hectic bustle and heartache of that day, Daniel had felt alone, like a zombie. There had been nowhere for him to turn, nowhere for him to go.
Holding his breath, Daniel stepped forward and approached the bedside. She was there. Janet lay still with a dozen or so machines hooked up to her body. She looked as lost as he felt.
Quietly, he took her hand and squeezed it, refusing to look at the medical equipment and gazed through them only to her. "Janet," he whispered.
She didn't stir, which caused a wave of doubt to flood Daniel. Maybe Carmichael was wrong. Maybe they had lost her again. He couldn't go through that again. He couldn't keep losing the people whom he loved.
"Janet," he whispered again. "It's Daniel. Please…"
Then, she opened her eyes. To him.
In that moment, Daniel felt as if everything had suddenly become right in the world. She was alive. Now, he knew it. She was alive.
He laughed, a nervous laugh of joy and relief. He wanted to hug her, tell her everything would be all right. He wanted to tell her everything that had been on his mind for so long.
He settled for holding her hand, to standing by her side, and reassuring her that he wouldn't leave her behind. As she gazed at him, for that brief moment, he thought she understood, a flicker of a smile passing over her pale lips. Quietly, she shut them and drifted back to sleep.
"Doctor Jackson, you're going to have to move," Doctor Nichols told him. "She may be out of the woods, but I want supervision on her at all times."
Daniel nodded, though he felt slightly guilty for leaving Janet alone. He took a tentative step back, and then another, allowing for the medical team to do what they needed to do.
It didn't matter. Janet would be fine. Janet was alive.
After permitting himself another long gaze at Janet, Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets and started for the exit. He would come back later when the medical team felt confident enough that she could take visitors, and after that he wouldn't leave again. Not until he made sure he wasn't dreaming.
Satisfied, Daniel started down the hall, making his way back to the next part of the infirmary. Yet, his thoughts wandered. What would happen? Would things change now? Daniel ran over the possible scenarios in his head. He knew little about time travel, and cared less about the repercussions than the actual act itself. He wondered if he would relive the coming months the same way, if he'd retain his memories of the future or if they would slip away. He knew that some things would have to change, and others would stay the same. In the end, he realized he just didn't care as long as everyone was all right, so it didn't matter if he couldn't grasp how deep the changes could be.
Silently, Daniel considered all of these feelings, so deeply lost in thought he didn't see Sam until he crashed into her. Surprised, he stumbled back, banging into the wall behind him. Sam was quick to gather her bearings, but turned her face away from him.
"Sam?" he asked confused. She was crying. Tentatively, he reached out and touched her shoulder. "Sam?"
"Oh, Daniel," she said, throwing her arms around him. Daniel was taken aback by her, but drew her into an uneasy hug nonetheless. He could feel her sobs dampening his jacket.
He held her for a few minutes, letting her cry while he rubbed her back soothingly. Finally, he squeezed her and whispered softly to her. "It's going to be all right."
She sniffled and sobbed again. "It will never be right again."
"Janet's going to be okay."
She nodded into him, offering one more sob before she released her hold on his jacket. She seemed to regain her composure for a minute, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"You don't know," she whispered, her voice cracking.
"Don't know? Don't know what?"
Sam went to open her mouth, but she didn't say anything. She just stared at him, a bleak, cold hollowness gaping back at him.
The same sense of helplessness and dread that he'd felt when this whole thing started began to build in the pit of his stomach again. Taking a step back, unwilling to read the hard reality in her grim features, Daniel stalked past Sam and headed into the infirmary.
As he walked, his pace became more urgent, before finally he broke into a run. Daniel dashed down the hall, violently pushing anyone that dared get in his way. He heard the shouts, the calls behind him as doctors and SF's alike started to rush after him.
He didn't care. He just didn't give a damn any longer.
Daniel charged into the room, halting when he saw the still body lying on the gurney. He found he could no longer move, his horrible gaze transfixed onto the lifeless form.
"I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson," he heard Doctor Warner say from somewhere behind him.
"No," Daniel whispered, grabbing onto the table at the end up the gurney to support his weakened limbs. "No, it's a joke. A joke."
The looks of pity that were flung his way made Daniel want to puke. He turned away, his body wrought with distress.
From across the room, Teal'c gazed at him, his eyes moist. "Daniel Jackson…"
Daniel shook his head, trying to fight the nervous ticks that were overcoming his body. He touched his face. He paced in a circle. He refused eye contact with anyone in the room.
Finally, he couldn't take the agony any more. With his jaw set, his body tense, Daniel marched to the side of the bed, and ripped back the sheet.
Jack remained motionless, his eyes open and empty, his entire being lifeless.
"Move!" Daniel yelled at him. "Move!"
Jack wouldn't move. He stayed there. Dead. He was dead. He needed to move.
Daniel shook him, trying to will him to blink, to breathe, to do something. Just move. "Jack," he said, still shaking him. "Please get up, Jack."
"Daniel." Sam's hand came to his shoulder. She was crying again. "Daniel…"
"No," he said, his voice firm. "He was wearing the-the…"
"The armor does not appear to be one hundred percent effective," Teal'c said.
Really, Daniel thought, releasing Jack's cold wrist. He walked away, rubbing his face, trying to figure out what to do next. What could he do?
"Daniel," Sam said again, easing up next to him.
He pushed her away from him, turning away as he fought against the tremors that shook his body. Hands laced behind his head, Daniel paced, unable to come to terms with what he saw.
It wasn't real. None of this could be real.
"You're sick!" he yelled, livid. He ignored the painful and stunned expressions of the people around him. "You're all sick! You expect me to choose? Is that it? How is that fair?"
"Doctor Jackson, please calm yourself," Doctor Warner warned. "Just sit down, we'll have someone—"
"What? No!" He turned his back to them and walked to another corner of the room, needing to be as far away from Jack as possible. He started to laugh. "Is that it? Beware the choice? That is what this is about?"
He turned again, struck by the horror in Sam's face. "Daniel, don't…"
They thought he was crazy. Perfect.
"Danger. Consequence." How could the Ancients be that cruel? "It makes sense. Oh, God," he held his head in his hands. "It's my fault."
"The Goa'uld are to blame, Daniel Jackson. This is not your doing."
"I killed him," Daniel whispered, staring at the floor. "I killed him. It's my fault." He gazed up at Sam and Teal'c. "Don't you see? I'm so sorry. Oh, God, I killed him."
"Call Doctor MacKenzie," he heard Doctor Warner whisper to one of the nurses. "And prepare…"
Daniel knew what that meant. Angry, he grabbed onto one of the trays and knocked it over, causing dozens of medical instruments to crash to the floor. Instantly, the SF's in the room came to attention while Sam and Teal'c started to make their way over to him.
But it didn't matter. He'd just lost someone he loved for someone else he loved. Who would be next? Sam? Teal'c?
"I don't want this," he muttered. "No, just put it back."
The medical personnel were closing in on him now, Sam and Teal'c with them. Daniel saw the syringe. He backed away.
This couldn't be it. He couldn't trade one life for another, no matter how much he loved Janet. She would have never wanted it that way. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Janet or Jack.
They were on him now, trying to restrain him. Daniel shouted, fighting them with everything he had in him. No, it wasn't going to end this way.
Three by three…he remembered those words. Three chances. Three tries. Maybe? He could hope. He could wish.
The wishful come.
"Put it back!" he cried, struggling against the soldiers that were holding him down. "Put it back! I won't swap one for the other! Give me another try! Just no!" He sobbed, relaxing into the arms of the one medical assistant as the liquid was shot into his arm.
"Put it back! Give me another chance!" he shouted into the darkness.
Daniel didn't know how long he'd been unconscious, but it couldn't have been long enough for anyone to worry. Slowly, he lifted his head, blinking away the black spots, as he tried to bring his mind back to full awareness. He felt strangely ill, though he wasn't sure if it was all that he'd just been through, or if he was coming down with something. His right hand itched. His head felt foggy. But some of the strangeness he felt began to lift. As he became more focused, he started to gather his bearings. To his side, he saw his pack and his glasses. There was dust, dirt, trees…With a groan, he carefully sat up and rubbed his eyes.
He was back in the ruined shrine.
He remained quiet, paralyzed by panic. He couldn't know for sure that this reality was the reality he needed it to be. For all he knew, Jack could still be dead. Janet could still be dead. Anyone could be dead and he wouldn't know.
His gaze fell to his pack again. Sliding over to it, he picked up his glasses, slipping them on his face, and opened up the main compartment. His supplies and some of his books were stashed inside, but he was looking for one annoying object in particular. The one thing that would tell him what was happening.
Slowly, Daniel withdrew the small homing beacon, shaking his head as he rubbed his thumb over the top of it. As a joke, and a rather unfunny one, Jack had tossed a homing beacon into his stuff this morning. Daniel had pretended not to notice; he had planned to turn the tables on Jack once they returned back through the Stargate.
He clutched it tightly. That meant…
Daniel sighed, bowing his head, finally allowing himself to sob. His cries were cries not only of relief, but also of sadness.
He'd lost Janet again. He'd broken his silent promise to her that he wouldn't leave her behind. He'd traded her life away.
His gaze darted to the stone. Innocent, cold and hard, it remained in front of him, a temptation, calling him to try again.
Soundlessly, Daniel rose to his feet, careful not to throw off his equilibrium. He still felt weak, though he was unsure if it was due to the effects of the device, or the stress over what he'd just experienced. Either way, he knew that he wouldn't be beaten.
He stood in front of the stone. As far as Daniel could tell, it seemed to still be activated. Now that he was closer, Daniel could see that it was vibrating, a low hum erupting from somewhere within the device. There even seemed to be a faint glow surrounding the borders.
"Three by three," he said in a low voice. "Time to see if I'm right."
He reached out his right hand and pressed it against the now-warm slick surface. He heard a pop; his hand felt warm as tiny pricks poked at his skin. The tingling sensation crept up his arm, following the same pattern it had the last time. Sucking in a deep breath, Daniel let himself go, his body overwhelmed with the terrifying feeling of powerlessness. It stretched all over him, stabbing at his mind. The spots returned and he felt his knees buckle.
The chant began once again.
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
Not willing to make the same mistake twice, Daniel tried a different approach.
Please, he pleaded. No more loss of life. Please, let Janet survive.
Once again, Daniel felt off-kilter, disoriented and confused, as the world faded from a lone and empty shrine of time long gone, into a portrait of chaos, blood, and cries for forgiveness. The abrupt snap of reality caused Daniel to tilt, and he had to fight to stay conscious. He blinked.
No…
He was back.
He was back with Simon Wells.
"Oh, God," Daniel muttered, feeling himself grow cold.
"Tell me the truth," Simon said, panting. "I'm not gonna make it, right?"
This was worse than déjà vu. He was stuck, like reliving his darkest moments in the Gamekeeper's chair, only this was worse, a nightmare of his own making. Daniel found that he didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
He wanted Janet to live, to survive, not to have died so suddenly and so cruelly. It wasn't fair.
He didn't want to keep reliving this moment.
Finding himself running through the motions again, he stared at the IV in his hand and then back to Simon. "You're gonna be fine…" he heard himself say automatically.
"Doctor Jackson! Please! Please!" Simon cried out, his voice full of panic. "Just let me tell my wife. Let me tell my wife that…"
He found himself looking up, over to his side. And there she was. God, she was there. All over again. Living, breathing, alive.
He had to warn her this time. He had to save her.
"Okay! Okay," Daniel said. His body refused to act in accord with his mind. He handed Janet the IV and fumbled for his camera.
No! Not again! he yelled in his mind.
But, of course, he went about readying the camera anyway, focusing on Simon as Janet continued to work on saving his life. "Got it ... breathe, Simon ... It's okay, Simon..."
"I'm so sorry about this…love you so much." Simon cried in pain. "God, I just--I just wanted…" He wailed, his pain tearing through Daniel, reminding him how raw and painful this job could be, reminding him of the heavy losses he'd suffered. "God-God shut it off. Shut it off, I don't want her to see me die. Please, God."
Daniel hesitated for a moment with the camera, and again he felt like he had a chance to make a difference. Heart pounding, he quickly glanced at Janet, struggling to force his hand to reach out, to pull her out of the way.
Janet caught his gaze, but immediately went back to her patient. "Simon, Simon! Look at me you are not going to die, okay? I did not come all the way out here for nothing. Now we've stemmed the bleeding. We're gonna get you to a stretcher. We're going to get you home with your family in no time, okay? Now, you hang in there airman."
Simon breathed out. "Yes, Ma'am."
Then, it was over.
Daniel tried to cry out, but the blast came quickly. The light was blinding, her cry of agony maddening. And before he had a chance to fully process what had happened, Janet was on the ground, her chest burning from the staff blast.
Simon gasped. "Oh God, what happened?" Gunfire echoed behind them. "Is she hit?"
Panting, Daniel tossed the camera aside, leaning over Janet, searching desperately for a pulse. It was happening all over again. How was this helpful? What did this prove?
"I got him!" Bosworth called from somewhere nearby.
Daniel didn't care. "Janet!"
Bosworth was talking again. The man needed to shut the hell up.
"You're clear Doctor Jackson, sorry but…"
"I need a medic. Fraiser's been hit. I need a medic," he found himself saying again.
"Is she okay?" Simon asked.
Daniel couldn't answer him. Daniel wouldn't answer him. God…"Sierra Gulf Niner ... ugh, I need a medic!"
Daniel wished he had intensive medical training. He was going to make it a point to learn.
He went for his radio, paling when he remembered what happened last time. Despite knowing he wouldn't get a response, he grabbed the radio and started yelling into the radio anyway.
"Jack!" he called into the radio. "Jack? Anyone? I need a medic!"
Daniel didn't want to do this anymore. It was too much. He coughed, felt his head fog, and his limbs grow numb. He gazed at Janet's unmoving body.
Her eyes were closed. Again, they weren't supposed to be closed. They weren't…
Daniel felt someone grab him from behind, pulling him to his feet. "Let's get Fraiser and Wells stabilized. Jackson's in shock. Let's go."
After that, everything was a blur to Daniel. He kept hearing the screams, pleas, and cries. He saw the fire. Weapons. He felt the heat of the battle. But he didn't know what was new and what was old, whether he was reliving the same events or if something had changed. He was just an actor in an unfolding drama.
Daniel found himself in the infirmary.
"No, Doctor Jackson, please remain seated."
Daniel blinked at the young woman, a nurse that frequented the base. Her name was Stacey. He remembered her name.
"Stacey, I'm all right." Daniel sighed and dropped his head into his hands. "Please look at the other people. Please."
She patted his knee. "I'll see if I can have you cleared."
Daniel kept his head bowed. It was surreal…all around him he could hear the sounds of a bustling infirmary, nurses and doctors rushing about, trying to keep the casualty count down. Daniel didn't want to remember how many people they'd lost that day. He felt guilty.
"Ah, Doctor Jackson," Doctor Carmichael said. Daniel scowled at the doctor's cheerfulness. "How're you feeling?"
Daniel didn't reply this time. He raised his head and glared at Doctor Carmichael, telling him just exactly how he felt.
The doctor didn't bother to hide the displeasure on his face. "I'm willing to release you, but I want you to take it easy."
"Just tell me how they are." He didn't care to try to be formal anymore. "Tell me about Jack and Janet."
Doctor Carmichael appeared nervous. "I'm not sure—"
"Just tell me," Daniel said impatiently.
"Colonel O'Neill is going to be fine," the doctor told him. "Doctor Warner told me that he took a good blow to the chest, but that new armor seemed to protect him from the brunt of the impact. He's in recovery room C."
Daniel let out a sigh of relief, rubbing his tired eyes beneath his glasses. Jack was okay. Jack was going to be fine.
"And Janet?"
"She survived."
The words caught Daniel by surprise. Gaping at Doctor Carmichael, he searched his face for the truth. It was there. In black and white. Janet had survived.
Daniel jumped off the gurney and brushed past him, heading for the exit. He could hear Carmichael calling out after him, but he didn't care. He had to see for himself. He had to make sure that Janet was alive. Living and breathing. Alive.
But first, Daniel headed to recovery room C. He squeezed past a doctor, two nurses, and a group of medical assistants that were crowding Jack's room. He apologized to a poor older woman that he nearly toppled, but he just had to see Jack.
Finally breaking free, Daniel slipped to the side of the bed. Now, that sigh of relief really took hold and he grabbed the metal bars on the gurney for support. Jack was there, eyes closed, but breathing, his chest rising and falling as the monitors kept track of his vitals. Teal'c remained by his side.
"He will be well once again," Teal'c informed Daniel.
"Thank God," Daniel muttered. Holding back the tears, Daniel coughed, and patted Jack's arm. He couldn't help but smile. Everything was going to okay.
"Where's Sam?" Daniel asked.
"I believe she is with Doctor Fraiser," Teal'c replied.
That was all Daniel needed to know. After a small nod to Teal'c, Daniel started for the room that had held Janet in his last attempt at changing the past.
Janet had survived. Jack had survived. Teal'c and Sam were okay.
It all was too much. It was too good to be true.
But wasn't that what the device was for? It was creating second chances and to be able to right things that went wrong.
Daniel felt as if he'd been given the chance to tell Janet exactly how he felt. He needed her to understand how much he'd always appreciated her compassion, her professionalism, her determination, and her friendship.
Deep down, he hoped that there could be more.
Taking a deep breath, Daniel entered Janet's room, passing by the attending physicians, immediately drawn to her still form spread out on top of the gurney. She seemed so fragile, so tiny, layered with sheets and connected to dozens of machines and gadgets. Daniel stepped forward and approached the bedside. She looked as lost as he felt.
Quietly, he took her hand and squeezed it, refusing to look at the medical equipment and gazed through them only to her. "Janet," he whispered.
She didn't respond, not even a flutter of her eyelids. The reaction, or lack of reaction, caused Daniel to frown. He inched over a little closer. Gently, he pressed his other hand to her shoulder.
"Janet."
But she wouldn't open her eyes. She wouldn't move.
"Janet," he whispered again. "It's Daniel. Please…"
No matter what he said, he could seem to rouse her. Puzzled, and a little frightened, Daniel took a step back, looking over to the doctors for some answers. "What's going on? What's wrong?" he asked.
The doctors said nothing. They started at him, stared at him with their pity filled gazes.
"What?" he asked, this time more slowly and with suspicion. Janet had survived.
His gaze lingered on the doctors for a moment before he finally caught sight of Sam in the crowd. She hung back, far from the action, in the left hand corner. He could tell by her reddened face and her puffy eyes that she'd been crying. But not only was she sad, she was also nervous. Sam remained quiet while she chewed on one of her nails.
"Sam?" Daniel asked hesitantly.
But instead of answering him, she shook her head and turned away, breaking into another sob.
Daniel's stomach flopped. Jack was okay. They told him Jack was okay. Janet was okay.
"Janet?" he asked softly.
"I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson," Doctor Nichols said.
His gaze darted over to the monitor, watching it track her beating heart. She was attached to machine upon machine, but her chest was rising and falling. "What," he stated more than asked, an edge to his voice.
Doctor Nichols looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "There's no easy way to say this," he said softly. "Janet Fraiser is in a persistent vegetative state."
Daniel stared at him in disbelief. What? That didn't make any sense. Janet had received a blow to the chest, not the head. She couldn't. No. It didn't make any sense.
"What does her chest have to do with her brain?" he asked angrily.
Nichols shifted uncomfortably. "She coded as soon as we got her into the operating room. Her brain was deprived of oxygen and we couldn't get her stabilized right—"
"No!" Daniel told him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. This was ridiculous. Stuff like this didn't happen this fast. Not to them. "You're wrong."
"I'm sorry, but—"
"Sorry?" Daniel laughed at him. "You're not sorry." Narrowing his eyes, he glared venomously at the people in the room. "None of you are."
"Doctor Jackson!" General Hammond bristled as he walked into the room. "That's enough. You know, as much as I do, that the good people here have done everything they can for Doctor Fraiser."
Hi voice was firm, but laced with an ache and understanding Daniel knew was geared solely for him. Everyone knew how Daniel felt. Really, it was no big secret on base. But that didn't make the pain go away.
He was beginning to dislike the Ancients. Why would they create something duplicitous? Why, with all their vast knowledge, would they torture people like this? Was it broken like the time machine had been on P4X-639?
Daniel grabbed Janet's hand and held it close as he bowed his head. She wasn't cold, but her fingers lacked the warm loving touch that had burned itself into his memory. It was the kind of touch that he'd always seen as the physical manifestation of her smile and her sunshine. He'd never be able to experience that again.
"What's going to happen to her?" he whispered.
"Doctor Fraiser…stated in her will that she didn't want to be kept alive by artificial means," General Hammond said.
"Of course not," Daniel muttered. "Why would the device give that option?"
"Excuse me?"
Daniel didn't answer him.
He heard General Hammond start to talk about loss and duty, but Daniel had long tuned him out. All he could think about was how close he was to Janet, and yet how very far he was to ever recapturing their past. She'd always been there for them, all of them, and would work so hard to keep this base healthy and in form. She'd saved his life, everyone's life, so many times. How fair was it for her to be taken away so abruptly?
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to him.
He'd lost so many people. Why did he have to lose her, too? Why couldn't, for once, something go right for him?
They didn't have to adhere to Janet's will. There could be the chance that one day she'd break out of her coma. One day, she could be back and running on base, just like it had always been. The medical field was full of surprises.
If not, at least she was alive. Janet would never know.
"Keep her alive," he whispered. "I need her alive."
"Doctor Jackson…"
Daniel shook his head at Hammond, refusing to look at the general. He was barely holding it together, and he wasn't about to lose his resolve. "No," he said. "I don't care. Just keep her alive."
"What kind of life would you live?" General Hammond asked. "You would spend every day waiting for her to open her eyes and feel like a failure when she didn't." He felt General Hammond hover close to him. "Is it really fair on her? Son, you can't live like that, and neither can Doctor Fraiser."
Was it really fair on her? Daniel pondered that question as he stared at her broken body.
Janet would likely never walk again, talk again, or have her own mind. The mind is what Daniel valued the most in people, the mind and its capacity for love and compassion.
But could he just…he couldn't agree to end her life. He couldn't do something like that.
Daniel brought her hand to his lips and squeezed his eyes shut. He allowed his mind to drift back to that day. This day.
You know I died in this room? Ascended. Doctor Fraiser did everything she could. I mean, she went three days without sleep. Even in the end she didn't want to let me go.
But she did. Jack had told her to let him go. To hold onto Daniel would have been selfish. Jack, Janet, Selmak, everyone, had respected his wish and let him go.
This wasn't about her, then, was it? It was about him. It was his selfish needs, his inability to let go. It wasn't fair to Daniel. It was what Daniel needed.
How could she ever be happy this way? No, Janet had died and Daniel was holding onto fleeting memories. In the end, Daniel had never respected her wishes.
"Let me say goodbye," he whispered. He knew that the room thought he was talking to them, but he was in fact trying to make the device understand. "Just let me say goodbye."
Quietly, Daniel kissed her knuckles and made his peace. He was unashamed of the tears that soaked his cheeks. He had to move past her death so that they could both move on.
He let go as she slipped away from him.
When Daniel awoke, he found himself back on the floor of the shrine. It was cold and dirty. He even thought he felt something crawling beneath him.
He really didn't care.
Daniel decided to just stay there a moment and gaze into the afternoon sky. Once, probably millennia ago, there had been a ceiling here. He could imagine that it was gilded and ornate, but simple and elegant, unlike the opulence of the Goa'uld. But that ceiling was long gone, and the ruins were open, providing an unobstructed view of the sky above him.
The sky…he found it peaceful, a mix of blue and purple, calm but mournful. It was vast and open, both awe-inspiring and comforting.
Daniel found the sky read like a poem. He didn't normally feel poetic. Unless it was Dynastic Egyptian letters and charms, or served as some insight into a people's culture, he didn't find poetry very interesting. But today, today the sky held meaning for him. It symbolized a moment in time and encapsulated a particular emotion, like waffles connected him to his family.
Sometimes you have to let go of the people you love so that they could be free. He had done that for Sha're, and now he would do it for Janet. He wasn't sure if he believed in the traditional notions of the soul, or anything that had to do with spirituality and religion, but if Janet's spirit lived on somewhere, he hoped that she was happy.
Happiness. That's all he really wanted for her.
Suddenly, Daniel sat up, as he remembered something.
Three by three.
Technically, if he was right, he had one chance left. The thought niggled at the back of Daniel's mind until finally he was able to force himself to stand. His legs were shaking, and he seemed to have developed a series of light tremors in his body, but he was well enough to walk. Carefully, he made his way back to the device, staring it down for one last time.
He could try again. He could rephrase things and make it so that Janet was alive and with him. He knew this was a possibility. It tempted him more than anyone could possibly imagine.
But where would it leave him? With the world destroyed? Sam dead? Teal'c maimed? The truth was that this one last chance could undo everything.
That, in turn, wouldn't bring happiness to Janet.
Sighing, Daniel stared at the device and knew what he had to do. He held his breath, calmed his nerves, and touched the stone.
For the third time, he heard the hum and felt the tingling prickle his fingertips. Soon, it would course through his pain, overcome him, and beat him into submitting the final words. Though, this time Daniel felt resolved. Swallowing hard, he focused his thoughts and wished for the final time.
The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come.
Please, he said, his voice echoing in his mind. Wherever she is, let Janet be happy.
The device snapped; the stone cooled and stilled. It was done.
All his energy spent, Daniel felt an inward collapse, and fell to his knees. He felt dizzy and weak, almost sick. Black spots danced in front of his eyes and the tremors became fiercer. But, now that it was done, he was satisfied.
There were no crazy trips to the past, real or imagined. There was no more tampering with events that had already happened and no more toying with emotions and people. It was over now, and he could rest.
For an indeterminate about of time, Daniel sat there, fighting off the cold sweat and malaise he was feeling. He wondered about the device, what its true function was, how it might have been used before, and what it signified now. The artifact, a device of time or imagination used by the Ancients, was a dangerous thing. He knew, just by his experiences today, how easily things could be warped—people, past events, circumstances. He knew how the military would use it.
Daniel couldn't allow that to happen.
Quietly, Daniel reached for the zat that was hooked to his belt and carefully unhooked it. Without hesitating, Daniel fired up the weapon and aimed for the stone, zatting once, twice. From where he sat, he could hear the popping and the hissing of whatever ran the device as it died. The moment was exhilarating. Finally, Daniel let a third discharge free, and the object vanished into thin air.
Janet could finally be happy.
"Daniel!"
Without a sound, Daniel remained on the floor, staring at the hole where the stone had been embedded into the wall. The ruins looked rather funny now that the device was gone.
"Daniel!"
Upon hearing his name called for the second time, Daniel turned his dizzy head to focus on Sam. She was either angry or scared, but he couldn't tell. He needed his glasses.
"Where are my glasses?" he asked her.
"They are on your face, Daniel Jackson."
After catching a glimpse of Teal'c, Daniel touched his face. He winced. Slowly, he brought his right hand a way from his face, surprised to see splotches and sores forming on his palm.
If Sam hadn't been angry or scared before, she was now. "What happened?" she demanded.
Daniel never had the chance to answer. The zat slid out of his lap and Daniel collapsed into darkness.
"He's clean, Sir."
Daniel moaned, turning his head to the side to follow the sound of voices. He heard more than one, floating and drifting somewhere nearby. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finding the blobs hovering to his right.
"What?" he asked.
Daniel hadn't finished uttering the question when Sam, Teal'c, and Jack were on top of him.
"It's about time," Jack muttered, fully adorned in his not-happy face. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? Or is this your way of getting even at me for breaking that weird little bowl of yours?"
Daniel stared at him. Jack had broken his new Peruvian vessel?
"You did what?"
"Nevermind."
"Are you okay?" Sam asked, sliding up to his bedside. She offered the perfect reprieve from Jack's ever-present scowl, though Daniel knew he'd have to confess sooner or later. Later worked better for him, he decided.
"I…think so," Daniel said. In truth, he wasn't okay. Not after all the pain he'd just been through. Though, he knew that it was his decision to keep tempting fate, and now he had to live with what he'd done. "How long have I been out?"
"Long enough," Jack said.
"We had a radiation scare," Sam informed him. "We needed to bring you back to be examined."
Daniel glanced down at his right hand, which, by now, was fully cleaned and bandaged. "Oh," was all Daniel could offer. That would be why they looked more nervous than usual.
"The doctors say you're fine," Sam added. "The burns on your hand will heal in time."
"Yeah, and would you mind telling us why you have burns in the first place?" Jack asked him.
Daniel worked his tongue over the bottom of his lip as he considered Jack's question. "Yeah, about that…"
"Yeah," Jack mimicked. "So, spill."
As much as Daniel wanted to tell them everything that had happened, he felt that his experience was a truly personal one. What could he tell them? That he had been forced to choose between Jack and Janet? That he had found a way to keep Janet alive, but chose to let her die instead? How could he even begin to have them understand?
"It was a weapon," Daniel said, hoping his lie wasn't far from the truth. "Some kind of weapon used by the Ancients."
None of them seemed very convinced. Daniel chastised himself for being such a terrible liar.
"Are you unwilling to discuss the matter?" asked Teal'c.
"No," Daniel said in defense. "No, really. I'm not sure what the artifact's true function was. There were riddles…"
"You had your zat out," Sam said.
"I destroyed it when the pain was too much." Now that wasn't a lie.
"So, what?" Jack asked impatiently. "What? It attacked you?"
Daniel imagined the stone lashing out on him, and he realized the assessment wasn't far from the truth. The device had attacked him; it had tackled the selfish needy parts inside of him that Daniel had allowed to thrive and fester. Now, he was clean.
"Yes," Daniel said resolutely. As he gazed at each one of his friends, he made sure his eyes told them that he was being as sincere as he could.
Jack shook his head. He obviously wasn't pleased by Daniel's brevity, but from the defeated look in his eyes, Daniel knew Jack wouldn't push the issue. Not for the rest of the night, anyhow.
"The Doc says you should get some rest. I say nothing works better than a good night's sleep in your own bed." Jack clapped him on the shoulder and forced a smile. "Go home and sleep it off, but I expect you back with a full report in the morning."
Jack was bending protocol again, but Daniel didn't care. For once, being as far away from the SGC as possible seemed like the best medicine and Daniel wasn't going to argue about it. Yet, he also knew that he was going to have to be a little more forthcoming tomorrow. Jack was giving him the opportunity to come up with a good story. Daniel figured this was a variation of the military "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Or it could just be a Jack policy. Either way, though Jack was basically giving him the green light to fudge the facts a little, Daniel felt he owed him some explanation, even if it was a partial one.
He nodded. "Right."
Jack got the point. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, Teal'c and I have some important business to which to attend."
Sam managed a small smile. "Playing fooze ball again, Sir?"
"Of course. It's an important tool for training our soldiers."
"Because beating a ball with little plastic people is great practice for the field," Daniel said.
Sam laughed at the statement, causing Jack to glare at them both. "Eye and hand coordination, Daniel."
"Indeed. To be the master of the fooze ball is to be the master of one's skills," Teal'c said with only a dignity that Teal'c could possess.
Sam and Daniel exchanged a knowing look. Jack had created a monster.
"Well said." Jack patted Teal'c on the back. "Shall we?"
Teal'c gave a slight nod. "We shall."
After sending them a jubilant wave, Jack led Teal'c out of the infirmary, leaving Sam and Daniel alone. Sam took the opportunity to move a little closer to Daniel, leaning against the gurney as she gazed thoughtfully down at him.
"What really happened, anyway?" she asked, keeping her voice low.
Daniel turned away and stared down at his hands. Janet had always been very close to Sam. He remembered back then, on that day, Teal'c had grown quiet. Jack had become detached. He had become withdrawn. But Sam had broken down. Janet's death had almost destroyed her. He realized he had to be delicate with his words.
"I saw things," Daniel whispered. "I relived part of my past. I don't even know if it was real, or just my imagination."
Sam frowned, her eyes softening in the way that always told Daniel she was uncomfortable and uncertain in how to gage her response. So, Sam responded in the only way that she could.
"So, you think this device takes memories and twists them against a person?"
"More or less."
She seemed puzzled and pressed further. "We could have—"
"No," he said definitively. "We couldn't. Believe me."
"Okay." After pressing her lips together into a tight smile, Sam rubbed his arm and then moved down to squeeze his hand. "Please get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Daniel nodded. He knew how hard this must have been on her as well, having it all happen under her command. "You too," he told her.
It wasn't long before he found himself dressed and ready to leave. Luckily, the burns weren't half as bad as everyone seemed to think they were, and some of the nursing staff had even cleared Daniel to drive, if he wanted. He didn't understand why he'd been given a choice. How else would he get home? He certainly wasn't going to be chauffeured anywhere by the military. He wasn't in the mood today.
Quietly, he threw on his jacket and started to head toward the exit when a petite woman in a lab coat caught his eye. His heart skipped a beat. "Janet?"
The doctor turned around, puzzled, as she eyed him carefully. "Can I help you, Doctor Jackson?"
Daniel stared at her. "Uh, no. No, Doctor Brightman. I'm okay."
She didn't seem too convinced, but Daniel turned and exited before she could ask any more questions. He walked down the hallway, heading for the elevator, and didn't look back.
Part of him had almost expected to see her. Daniel didn't realize how disappointed he was to find that she was gone.
Gone.
He hoped that she truly was happy now.
While on his way, he passed by several people, some whom he recognized, some whom he didn't. Mostly, they were just a myriad of faces, unknowns that seemed to walk through him as if he were a ghost. In reality, the feeling was not unlike the first time they'd returned from P3X-666. Back then, he had just been a wandering soul amidst the chaos. He had been reliving that day when he'd been forced to come back to Earth after Sha're had been taken. There had been nowhere for him to turn, nowhere for him to go.
He couldn't help but see the patterns that kept repeating through his life, taking on new forms but yet always remaining the same. Part of him wanted to believe that he was truly given another chance to make a difference, to something that should have never happened. But another part of him recognized the futility in what he was attempting to do, and how no matter what he did, the pattern would continue.
It was a cycle of life and death that permeated his friends' lives, and his own. He couldn't escape it.
But he kept trying, anyway.
With a sigh, Daniel waited for the elevator. It seemed notoriously slow, especially on a night where he just wanted to go home and lose himself to thoughtless sleep. Though, when it finally opened, Daniel found himself unable to do anything but stare.
"Daniel," Janet said, nearly breathless. She grabbed his arm, causing him to reflexively jerk away. "Are you all right? I came as soon as I could." When Daniel didn't answer, still cowering from her touch, she frowned, the suspicion pooling in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
He couldn't talk. What the hell was going on? Janet? Janet? He realized she was reaching for him again, so he stepped back, backing his hip in the door of the elevator.
Oh God, he was still caught in the device. He had to be. Any minute now, she'd die and he'd awaken back on the floor of the shrine. Or someone else's life would end tragically.
"Please, let it stop," he whispered
"Daniel?" She reached out her hand to him and he pushed away again. Hurt, she withdrew.
He hated to see her so sad.
"All right," she said firmly, slipping back into the authoritative tone that he remembered so clearly. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'm taking you right back to the infirmary."
She was so real. She was right here. With him.
"P3X-666," he blurted out.
She stared at him as if he had three heads, or worse. Shaking her head, she motioned for him to get his body fully into the elevator carriage before punching one of the buttons.
"I've told you that I don't know why he keeps calling me. That happened months ago. He's just a harmless flirt," she told him.
Daniel frowned, searching her face and his mind for anything that would tell him what she was talking about. And then, like a lost memory that had been buried deeply in his mind, he remembered. Bregman. Emmett Bregman kept calling Janet at their house.
Whoa…Daniel pressed his back against the elevator, his eyes growing wide. Their house?
Bewildered, Daniel's gaze jumped all over the elevator, trying to process and make sense of the strange feelings and memories that were surfacing in his mind. Finally centering his attention on his bandaged hand, he considered a far worse scenario. Maybe the device had been eating away at his mind. Maybe he was hallucinating, or he was delusional. It wouldn't be the first time. In fact, he was afraid he was getting used to it.
"Daniel." This time Janet's voice was softer. She placed her hand on his chest. "Please tell me what's wrong."
He immediately felt warm, comforted. He knew he could open up to Janet. He felt—
Daniel stared at the ring on her finger.
The memories started to flood him then. Not old memories, but new old memories, he realized. These were memories of a past he'd never experienced, feelings he'd never had a chance to have, and a love that he'd held back on because he was afraid. She was there, on P3X-666, but Bosworth had killed the Jaffa before he could hit Janet. She was there.
Tonight, she had been away at a training seminar. God, a training seminar.
And now they were going back to their house.
He didn't understand. He had destroyed the device. It was over.
Yet, all these memories were forming into past realities, into experiences that he had lived. They didn't erase the old, but they were there nonetheless. He could remember them now. It was both frightening and beautiful.
But, what about the Ancient device?
He remembered his last plea…
Blinking, his mind dizzy with thoughts of what happened and what could have been, Daniel gazed down at Janet and held her hand close to his chest. "Are you happy?" he asked her.
"Daniel, what kind of question is that?"
"Just-just tell me. Are you happy?"
She squeezed his hand reassuringly before reaching up with her other hand to stroke the hair above his ear. "I've never been happier. You know that."
Janet was happy, he thought to himself, while grinning for the first time that day. He did know that and now that he'd been given this second chance, or third chance, he'd make sure she was never unhappy again. Satisfied, Daniel wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.
"Yes," he said to her. "Yes, I do."
THE END