Title: Waimo
Authors: exrxr and Einld
Disclaimers: We don't own 'Naruto' the manga, anime and now the cartoon on Sky TV. We also do NOT own the wee little town that this fic is based at. The making of "narutard" is not ours, they were made by NCH85 (if you haven't seen it something's wrong with you).
Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi.
Special thanks: Einld's burnt Yum Yum noodles that was sacrificed in the making of this fic (this is dedicated to you). We now hold a 1 minute silence for mourning...okay now we'll start the fic.
#1800-OMG-I-SPOT-A-NARUTARD-AND-I-NEED-HELP-NOW#
He was so going to kill Kakashi when this was over. Who gives a rat's ass that he was his superior! That damn perverted man (who didn't deserve to be his superior) had decided to leave him with a demeaning task of "watching for speedsters".
What the hell has watching for speedsters got to do with appreciating this town! If anything it just made him regret moving to the quiet town in the first place. He thought that coming to a small place out in the middle of nowhere people would leave him alone. But nooooo . . . . . . . what does he find out?
The exact opposite.
Everyone knew everyone which meant that you couldn't step out on the streets without hearing "so and so did this" or "so and so did that". The fact that he was a new rookie at the only police station there did not stop them from gossiping as to why a "19-year-old city boy" was here. Seriously, was it any of their business as to why he came here?
But dammit, he refused to be agitated by their gossip. Besides that fact, this town was acceptable. He wasn't bothered by fan-girls 24/7 (like in his previous home town) and this town is peaceful.
Sasuke sat behind the wheel bored. So far no-one had come by the area he was watching. His eyes flickered over to the speed camera to make sure it was still working and then to the houses nearby. He had parked his car out on the curb on a grassy lawn. Since this was nearly out of town with only a few houses scattered apart, not a person was in sight. He was situated between the two speeding posts of 50 km/h and 70 km/h. Not a tree was in sight and he was seen as plain as a huge fat strawberry on top of vanilla ice cream.
Really, who would be stupid enough to speed here? Sasuke dryly thought.
Not a moment later, a dingy looking old truck speed past.
I take that back. There IS someone stupid...how the hell did he miss this car? It's a police car for Christ-sake! Damn that Kakashi...once I get my hands on him he'll wish he had never been born!
Sasuke grimly started after the offender and turned the sirens on. Hands clutched the steering wheels tightly as thoughts of ways to inflect pain on Kakashi flew by.
#1800-OMG-I-SPOT-A-NARUTARD-AND-I-NEED-HELP-NOW#
Naruto was humming to himself happily as he drove his ol' trucky to Iruka's place. Tonight they were gonna have Iruka's homemade noodle special - which is sooooo much better than the 2 minute Maggi noodles that he always ate. Just thinking about it made the blond drool.
Naruto glanced at the time on his dash board and blue eyes widened in shock. Was it really 6 o'clock already! He swore that when he left work it was 5 o'clock! He had stopped by New Worlds to pick up some food and then bumped into Kiba on the way out.
(A/Ns: for those of you that doesn't know...'New Worlds' is a supermarket)
Oh no! He was going to be late for his noodles!
Naruto pressed down on the accelerator in determination. He was gonna get there even if he had to speed. Cold noodles ain't as satisfying as fresh hot ones.
Just as he past the 70 km/h sign he heard the most awful less sound. Sirens. Not just any sirens but police ones. Looking at his rear view mirror he saw the dreaded white-with-blue-strips police car.
Gee these cops are getting too good. Almost as though they KNOW that I was going to speed! Aaawww shit! How am I supposed to pay for the fine! I don't have that much money! I'm poor! Hang on. If it's Kakashi I can just wait till he steps out of the car...then speed off. I'll get Iruka to talk to him, that way I won't get in trouble...I just gotta pull out the waterworks on Iruka to help me.
Naruto pulled over onto the green grass. He checked in his rear view mirror to see if the familiar grey haired man was gonna step out.
To his horror he found it wasn't. Instead it was Uchiha Sasuke; the rookie cop. Okay so he wasn't really a rookie cop (a hot shot so he's heard - but he'd be damned if he'll call him that). Moreover, this guy was cold and the chances of him letting him off were zero-to-none.
However, Naruto wasn't the No. 1 prankster AND nicknamed "fox" for his oh-so-lovely mischief nature for nothing. He thought of how he was going to get himself out of this one. He'd seen girls throw themselves at Sasuke but the guy just ignores them. So maybe he has chance of . . . . . . not getting a ticket.
With his plan in motion, he folded his orange cargo shorts so that they looked more like stubbies. Pulling the waistband down to sit lower on his hips, a toned and tanned flat stomach was revealed. After that he then pushed the strap of his white singlet on his right shoulder down, exposing his flawless shoulder and smooth neck.
(A/Ns: 'stubbies' are those really short shorts that were worn in fashion in NZ around the 70-80s. Also, we drive our cars on the LEFT-hand side of the road. Not the right.)
Just in time the blond heard a sharp rap on his window signalling Sasuke's arrival. As he rolled down his window, he flicked his blond hair out of his eyes (imitating what he'd seen girls do).
"Yes...officer?" Naruto timidly spoke (shy bashful girls always seem to melt people's heart) and blinked his eyes a couple a times for effect.
Sasuke raised his eyebrow at the unexpected display. Was the blond stupid or stupid? His eyebrow twitched at the blatant amount of flesh exposed.
He's heard of the blond's infamous pranks and boisterous tactics but this was the Uchiha's first meeting with the mischief fox. To say he was disappointed was an understatement. Sasuke was actually expecting something different from the other...not this show of affection that was always passed to him by practically everyone he had stopped.
The raven-haired officer whipped out his ticket pad and crisply said, "You were speeding."
"...really?" He flicked out his blond hair and began to twirl a stray lock around his finger.
Damn this is not working! I'll have to try harder - maybe I'll have to pull out the big gun . . . . . . but what is the big gun!
. . . . . . does this mean that I will have to give him a blow job? –shock- I don't wanna get Uchiha-cooties!
"Yes . . . really. Licence?" Sasuke replied, not taking interest in the blond whatsoever.
"Ah ha. Um, yes. Of course." mumbled the blond as he rummaged around his pockets to look for his green licence.
(A/Ns: the green licence is like the full licence. Yellow is restricted, blue is learners. Damn NZ licencing system)
Argh! What am I going to do! Nothing seems to be working on that stupid cold bastard! thought Naruto as he "tried" to search for his licence. "Tried" in that he was deliberately searching places he knew where his licence was not so that he could buy himself some much needed emergency thinking time.
An energy saving light bulb seemed to have lit up as a more devious idea came to the blond's mind.
Heh. Let's see how you take this o-f-f-i-c-e-r.
Smiling just a tad too sweetly in Sasuke's opinion, Naruto unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over to the passenger on one knee.
"I think I left it in here, hang on a minute officer." Purred the blond as he presented his tight ass to the Uchiha's viewing.
"Uh, this is sooo hard. I think it's stuck. I'm gonna have to squeeze my hand in this tight...space." moaned the blond.
Sasuke looked down at the blond, or rather, looked down at the enticing piece of ass that was presented to his obsidian eyes and devious subconscious's.
/ Well, well, well. Would you look at that juicy hunk of meat there/ whistled a low cheeky voice.
Wah? thought the Uchiha as he scowled at the offending presence in his conscious mind.
A small poof appeared on the right hand side of the young officer's shoulder and a mini Sasuke look-alike appeared clad in a pair of tight leather jeans, a bling bling hung around his neck with 'spank me' inscribed on it, no shirt, no shoes and definitely no underwear.
(A/Ns: 'bling bling' is slang for any type of jewellery that shines. In this case it's a silver chain)
Not soon afterwards, another poof appeared on the Uchiha's left shoulder. Another mini Sasuke appeared wearing a pair of white shorts (not stubbies!) and a white high-collared shirt.
- Che. You're opinion is not needed here you half dressed shit face. -
/ What'd you call me you asexual monk boy/
- Hn. You heard me the first time. Don't make me repeat myself. –
/ Hmph! Like I care. You're just annoyed cause you're not getting any of that nice piece of tosh that sexy blond is offering here. /
"Ahhh!" groaned the blond as he pulled his hand from searching the clove box and placing them behind his back and down to his bum. Feeling his own back pockets with his butt still exposed to the other's now intensified gaze, Naruto tried to find his licence which he knew were just there.
Sasuke gulped as he watched the tanned hand move enticingly over the orange cargo shorts, patting every now and then in search of the fore mentioned green licence. Devil Sasuke appeared to have whipped out a video camera out of nowhere and was capturing the whole event to burn on DVD so he could watch it on his 42 inch plasma TV screen later. Angel Sasuke made a mental note to get a copy of that DVD before coming back to reality.
- STOPPP! - yelled out Angel Sasuke as he tried to get Sasuke to cease his obvious starring which would embarrass all three of them before the blond could turn around.
#1800-OMG-I-SPOT-A-NARUTARD-AND-I-NEED-HELP-NOW#
End of Part 1 of 2
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