Stuck with Cosmo for 9 months
Claimer: I can draw the fairly odd parents better then Butch Heartman damn it I should own their sry asses. I make them funnier then him he is a pig I own them I will I WILL MARK MY WORDS I WILL!Cosmo: Hey! Whats wrong with being stuck with me for 9 months?
Timmy: I get stuck with being an idiot.
Cosmo: Coooool!
Wanda rushed to the bathroom for the fourth time that morning in the castle within the goldfish bowl while Timmy and Cosmo sat downstairs eating breakfast. Wanda poofed back in the kitchen looking very green.
"Are you alright lamb chop." Cosmo said leaning on to her head.
" What do you think you idiot?" She said poofing back to the fishbowl.
" Cosmo maybe you should make sure she's ok." Timmy said biting into his toast.
" That's a good idea why didn't I think of that?"
"Because you're an idiot." Timmy said.
Cosmo poofed back into the fishbowl.
Mean while back with Timmy
"Timmy!" His mother sang into the kitchen dressed in a fancy dress. "Me and your father are going to Elevator World where you go up and up and up. So your favorite babysitter is coming to watch you."
"Oh no, Vicky!" Timmy said then ran to his room to go tell Cosmo and Wanda. He met his father at the top of the steps.
" Hey Timmy did your mother tell you the good news: We're going to Elevator World where we go up and up and u…."
"No time to hear you repeat mom gotta tell fish Vicky is coming." He said racing past him to his room, once in he slammed the door shut behind him.
"Cosmo, Wanda, Vickys com…What's this?" Tmmy pulled a note off the gold fish bowl that read:
Dear Timmy,
Wishes are going tobelimited while Wanda's sick.
So if you need a magic touch I have left a walky- talky on our table.
Hopefully she will better soon I can stand seeing her like this!
Holding on,
Cosmo
"Great my god parents are having their own problems and I'm gonna die being stuck with Vicky." Just then Vicky burst into his room.
" We're going to have so much fun twerp." She boomed.
" Ahhhh!" Timmy screamed trying to runaway however, not quick enough.
" You agree then twerp we are going to have a fun time." She said pulling him towards the bathroom.
Mid day arrived shortly Timmy was stuck scrubbing the toilet while Vicky was sitting on her ass watching tv, eating pop corn, and painting her toe nails.
"Timmy, Wandas' better she'll be out in a minute." Just as Cosmo said that Wanda poofed in.
" Feeling better Wanda?" Timmy said standing on the outer rim of the toilet.
"Yeah. Cosmo was surprisingly helpful all that he got food poisoning and watching must have really helped him learn to help."
" OK sure lets go with that." Cosmo said with a fake smile.
" Wanda this has been going on a little over a week shouldn't you see a fairy doctor or something?" Timmy asked. " Oh yeah and I wish Vicky was hovering over a volcano in Hawaii in a tiny metal cage and that my parents trust me to stay home alone just for tonight."
With the ping of their wands of course Timmy's wishes came true then Wanda said:
" Maybe you're right Timmy its only in the mornings I have been getting sick. I'll schedule an appointment right now." Wanda then poofs herself to fairy world.
"Where'd she go?"
"To the doctors just like you said."
" But she said she had to make an appointment."
" Not in Fairy World you don't."
Within a few seconds Wanda poofed back. She had no expression on her face what so ever.
" Cosmo we need to talk…alone in the fish bowl…and so Timmy you don't follow I'm taking the shrink suit."
"Why? Whats going on Wanda?"
"You're gonna divorce me aren't you after all these years of love we have shared. With Philip now is my only friend."
"You blundering idiot I just need to talk to you…alone."
" Oh yay! Are we planning a surprise party?"
" Something like that." Wanda mumbled under her breathe as the 2 fairies poofed into the castle.
"What is going on?" Timmy thought as he went into his room trying to listen in the fish bowl which was very hard because the castle was in the fish tank not just them whispering in the bowl.
An hour later Timmy tossed and turned on his bed waiting to hear from his
God parents.
"What the heck are they doing in there? And why wont they come out and tell me what going on." Just as Timmy's thought ended his fairies poofed back in the room.
" Timmy we have to tell you now this may shock, even traumatize you." Wanda said giving Cosmo nervous glances.
" Wanda I'm sure whatever you have to tell me wont be that ba…" Timmy was interrupted by a high pitch girly scream which surprisingly enough didn't come from his dad it was Cosmo.
" What's wrong with you?" Timmy asked as Cosmos smile grew.
" Uh…Timmy we…"
" ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! YAY!" Cosmo said finishing Wandas sentence. Wanda slapped her forehead.
" You idiot I was supposed to tell him."
" I'm sorry lamb chop I'm just so happy for us." He said tears coming to his eyes.
" Aww Puddin." She said pecking him on the side of the cheek.
"Will you two excuse me for a sec." Timmy said and then fainted.
"Timmy? TIMMY?" Wanda made her wand make a bucket of cold water pour on his face.
"WHAT YOU'RE HAVING A BABY? FAIRIES CAN DO THAT?" He said jumping up totally aware of what happened.
" Yes we fairies can do that. We can do that right, Wanda?"
" Yes Cosmo other wise how would we be having a baby?"
" You did it with Juan De Semo didn't you never loved me."
"Cosmo shut up this isn't even about you. I will always love you saddly. Now sweetie since I'm going to be going under some changes Cosmo is gonna have to grant you wishes. I can't really do anything to much magic taken away from me the baby might grow up as weird as Cosmo. In fact I think Mama Cosma wanted to have a stupid son so she cold control him but that's a whole nother story."
" WHAT? Wanda please! Cosmo can grant wishes to save his life . Who's gonna keep us outta trouble? Who's gonna nag us?"
" Don't worry sport its only 5 months sadly. Nine horrid months of hell."
" Don't worry pumpkin Timmy and I will pamper you." Cosmo said rubbing his wifes shoulders.
" We will?" Wanda glared at Timmy.
" I mean yeah of course we will."
"Aww." Wanda said as Cosmo poofed in a recline chair where Wanda comfortably sat down while Timmy filed her nails and Cosmo was rubbing her feet.
ONE MONTH OF HELL DOWN 4 TO GO
"Timmy get a ham and cheese sand which with ice cream on the side as well as a towering stack of crackers with icing on them. Cosmo get me a pizza with every topping on it…no wait better get me single pizzas and put every topping you know of it." Wanda demanded.
This had been going on now since the beginning of the month began weird cravings on Wandas part. Timmy and Cosmo raced like idiots while Timmy tried to maintain a normal life of putting up with Vicky, going to school life sucking as it usually did.
TWO MONTHS LATER
"Timmy get a ham and cheese sand which with ice cream on the side as well as a towering stack of crackers with icing on them. Cosmo get me a pizza with every topping on it…no wait better get me single pizzas and put every topping you know of it." Wanda demanded.
" Wanda I needa go to bed. I'm tired Cosmos tired and all this food and the same food cant be helping your baby or you besides you need rest to even though you sleep constantly." Timmy said looking over at Cosmo who kept putting pizza n his head and did a hat dance with another.
" You don't care about me. I'm hungrey and you won't tend to me and I really need you guys right now." Wanda started to sob.
"Ok, ok. By the way Wanda why do you look so much bigger around the middle?" Timmy said in honest curiosity.
"Are you calling me fat?" Wanda said now turning as red as a tomato.
" No, no I was just wondering really."
" I'm fat eh well lets see what you think ok you being fat." She pointed her wand for the first time in three months and turned Timmy into a pig.
"Cosmo I wish I wasn't a pig anymore." Cosmo fixed it however, Timmy had a new found appendage sticking out of his butt.
"Honey, maybe some rest will make you feel better. Please don't turn me into anything!" Cosmo said nervously hoping he wasn't going to be turned into anything.
"That's a good pumpkin." She pecked him on the cheek and poofed herself into the castle.
" She wasn't mad yay!"
" You had a good idea?"
" Yeah they come to me some times they sing songs in my head of wisdom."
"Right, anyway I wish you guys weren't having this baby." Timmy said gruffly.
"Sorry Timmy you can do that." Cosmo poofed in Da Rules.
"It says in here and I quote "God children cannot wish away god parents baby from being born. The wish would be considered as a murderous one" end quote." Cosmo finished.
"Great now I have to put up with a little bundle of joy for 18 years while you guys switch being my god parents. Why are you even allowed to have kids when you have a god child?"
" Because…uhh…I don't know. I don't even know how to have babies. Where did Wanda even get her baby? Why can't I have a baby?"
"Because you're a guy. Maybe I should ask Wanda." Timmy said looking down.
" No I can help. Don't bother Wanda she doesn't need us right now. You saw her in the mood she's is."
"Good point. Maybe we should ask someone else."
" I can do this I can answer your question."
" I know lets ask Jorgan Von Strangle." Timmy said completely ignoring Cosmo. " I wish we were at Jorgan's house."
Cosmo poofed them both their very worn out because it was only he who had poofed them there.
" Timmeh Tuneh what are you doing here. I'm trying to rub my wife's feet. Dey are very swollen since she is going to have a baby in a month. We have gooten very close together me and my precious Tooth Fairy."
"We sure have Jorgy worgy." She said rubbing his back.
" But dat brings me to mah question: What are you doing here?"
" The Tooth Fairy is having a kid?" Timmy asked walking to the Tooth Fairy.
" Ansa the question and yes she is having Jorgy Jr." He said pointing his huge wand at Timmy.
" Oh yeah, why do fairies have kids if they have God kids?"
" Because we need new fairies to raise new God kids. Besides the fairies don't raise their own babies. They are raised in a nursery and go home to their parents at night."
"Like school?" Timmy asked.
" Yes like school so they have plenty of time with their god kids."
"Right…" Timmy and Cosmo looked at each other.
" Now if you two don't mind my and my honey bun we our time alone before our little Jorgy Jr. comes ."
"Wait! Before we go how long do fairies grow inside other fairies (A/N: Don't know if Timmy knows where babies come from but he knows they grow inside a women.)"
" Five months thank the heavens having a very moody wife can get annoying." Jorgan whispered to Timmy and Cosmo.
" Did you hear that two more months for Wanda yay!" Timmy said jumping up and down as Jorgan poofed them back to Timmy's house where they found Wanda had awoken looking very worried then mad once she spotted the two boys.
" Where have you two been? I was worried sick! You have left me a note, a message anything. You two are the biggest idiots I know." She said as she poofed back in the castle with a big tub of ice cream.
" Dude maybe you should talk to her." Timmy remarked.
" Yeah good idea I'll tell her that we were searching for the man in the moon when a piece of the moon made of cheese came after and then we saved the moon."
"What? Cosmo what are talking about none of that ever happened."
He was to late Cosmo had already poofed into the goldfish bowl. Timmy slapped his forehead.
2 MONTHS LATER
"Ahhh ahhh ahhh." Wanda screamed.
" What is it Wanda?" Cosmo asked with some concern.
" I having the baby you freakin moron."
" I wanna help, I wanna help, what can I do?"
"Get the baby out!" She screamed.
" I'm not a doctor! I'll get to wish for a doctor. Be right back I'll get Timmy."
" Cosmo wait…" With that he poofed in and out when he came back it was with a fairy doctor and Timmy.
" Are you ready Wanda?" The doctor asked.
" Just get the baby out!"
"Very well then. When I count to 3 push. 1…2…3…push!"
She pushed.
" You can do it Wanda." Timmy yelled.
" I'm here for ya babe." He said as Wanda held his throat.
"Here it comes…keep pushing."
"AGGHHHHHHH!" Wanda screamed!
"It's out and it's a…"
I SAY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR NEVER GONNA KNOW. I MIGHT WRITE ANOTHER ONESHOT BUT NO IDEAS. FOR NOW USE UR IM-A-GIN-ATIONS SAYS IN THE WAY SPONGEBOB WOULD. PLZ R&R HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT. I HOPE YOU LIKE MA CLIFFY!