Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did why would I need to write this?
Authors Note: OK. This is my new story. The format is completely different then my last one (What Happens Next). In fact it might be a little confusing. I have reformatted it like 5 times. Basically just pay attention to what time things are happening at, time goes back and forth as you switch from character to character. There are 3 sections, one for each Meredith, Derek and Addison, and basically it is taking place during Into You Like a Train. There is a lot of inner dialogue for this one because I thought that it was important to show what each character was feeling, but I probably won't continue it 'cause I find it distracting to read. Future chapters will take place at month intervals... at least that is the plan now.
So if you have made it through the A/N, enjoy the story!
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September
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Meredith
9:28 pm
Meredith sat at the bar alone consuming shot after shot of tequila.
He's not coming.
She had actually come to that conclusion about 45 minutes ago, but really, what's a girl to do. The pity party could wait, she was still getting smashed with her good friend denial.
"'Nother shot Joe."
Joe had given up on trying to curb her drinking after she had threatened to march herself to the bar down the street if he didn't keep pouring. At least here he could keep an eye on her.
10:19 am
Addison just looked at me. Does she know something?
God I hate her. Well I don't hate her. But I really don't like her. Trying to steal my boyfriend... who is her husband. But still.
I should stay out of the way. I am going to go over there. Out of the way. I am definitely drunk.
"Oh, hey, Joe said to tell you that McSteamy came looking for you," A tall nurse mentioned as he walked by.
"You mean McDreamy? Joe said McDreamy came looking for me?" He meant McDreamy right. Derek came? He chose me? But what took him so long? Wait. Is he still talking?
"No I'm pretty sure he said McSteamy."
He came. Meredith didn't know what to think. What does this mean? This means he picked me right. Or he was just being polite and really he picked her and just came to break my heart. He probably picked her. He's here. He just walked in the door. Oh god I hope he doesn't see me. Or do I really want him to see me... I'm very drunk. He just nodded. And kinda smiled. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
1:47 am
"No word from McDreamy?"
It's that guy again. Standing there was the nurse that had told her that Derek had come to the bar. He's kinda cute. What are you doing Meredith? You want Derek. But he is cute. Clearly I am still a little drunk. But according to the test, sober enough.
"No," she stated flatly not even caring that he knew.
"Here," he sat down across her and helped her remove the needle connecting her to the now empty banana bag, "I don't think that anyone else knows, I just figured it out from what Joe said" he continued.
Ok this guy is way to nice, if he thinks he is going to catch me on the rebound he has another thing coming, "I don't even care anymore." Meredith responded, defeated. "I have to go. I want to scrub in on the impalement surgery."
"Well I guess by tomorrow we'll know how smart Dr. Shepherd really is."
Meredith paused as she pulled back the curtain separating them from the rest of the room, "He's an excellent Doctor." And your flirting with me. Stop flirting with me.
"I wasn't talking about medicine."
He is SO flirting with me.
7:03 am
I'm not going to make it. I cannot work another shift. Everyone has figured it out. It's too much.
"He's not here." Cristina finally said breaking the silence that had prevailed since she had sat down.
He's not? Does that mean he is with her?
"I saw him leave." Cristina continued unsure if Meredith had understood her. "He's not back on till tomorrow." He is probably with her.
Meredith looked away and continued to stare.
"Rounds," Bailey wearily told them again.
"Lets get this over with," Meredith said hoarsely. She was the first one out on the floor.
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Derek
9:03 pm
"So are you going to sign those divorce papers or not?"
What do I say? "I am not promising anything Addison."
They stood in silence, Derek not daring to look at her. When he finally looked up he saw that her features had soften and she was smiling slightly.
"Thank you," she murmured quietly not breaking his gaze.
I should say something. Tell her how I feel about this. I can't just blurt it out thought. Come on Derek, this is Addison, you can say anything to her, "Lets get something to drink," Well that was something. It was stupid but it was something.
Addison nodded and fell into step beside Derek as he led her to the cafeteria. "Here," she said passing Derek her coat and briefcase.
Derek nodded and took them from her, watching her prepare their drinks. I think I have deja vu. We must have done this a million times. First she picked up two large mugs, she added a peppermint tea bag to one, and put the other mug under the coffee dispenser. Pressing the dispense button with one hand, she used the other to pour hot water into the other mug. Addison reached for sugar and honey and placed them in Derek's already outstretched hand, then followed with the mugs as he led her to a table in the corner. As they sat down she placed the tea in front of him and picked up the sugar. 1,2,3 Derek mentally counted as he added not quite the entire pack of honey to the tea, while Addison carefully poured in the sugar while stirring the coffee. Then with the practiced motions of people who had done the same routine countless times, they switched drinks.
I missed her coffee. I missed this. I missed her. "I never could get it to taste right on my own."
Addison sighed lightly, "I know, I've missed tea."
Derek laughed apprehensively.
Then Addison laughed, cautiously, but hopefully.
Then they fell silent. They continued to drink as the silence grew awkward.
"I have to tell Meredith," Derek said finally. And this is where it all goes downhill.
Addison nodded.
She's not arguing. Ok. "And we need to talk," he added, absently stirring his coffee.
Addison nodded again, "Ok."
Ok. She is agreeing. This is strange. I should go, I need to tell Meredith befor she drinks herself into a stupor. Derek stood up, and looked down at his wife. She seems different. She looks defeated and vunerable and weak. What's happened to her? "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning," he said decisively "We'll have breakfast."
Addison finally looked up and smiled. "Ok."
What do I do? Do I just walk away? "Ok." Derek tentatively put his hand on Addison's shoulder.
Addison placed her hand on top of his before he could change his mind and move it, "Derek?"
"What?" he asked quietly.
"I love you."
I love you too. Derek walked away, towards Meredith and Joe's bar. I think.
9:47 pm
"Dude your late."
What is he saying. Oh, who cares. Derek ignored the bartender and looked slowly around the bar.
"She's not here." Joe called across the bar, pulling Derek out of his daze.
What? "What?" Derek continued to look around, "Where did she go?"
"Train wreck."
What? "What?" She can't be a mess already. It's not even 10.
"Train wreck" Joe repeated pointing to the TV.
Derek was almost glad to see footage of a literal train wreck. "Right," Thank God, he sighed as his pager went off.
2:11 am
Derek watched as George left the scrub room. He was now alone with Meredith. He had to tell her. Say something, he told himself. Smile. Derek Smiled. No don't smile, that will give her the wrong idea.
"Hey," Meredith said finally, her voice betraying her nervousness.
"Hi." Now what. Damnit Derek your still smiling. Don't smile. Say something. "I went to the bar."
"I know, I heard."
I don't know what to say. Say anything. No you can't say anything. Say you still love Addison. No I can't say that, that will hurt Meredith. But I should be truthful. I should tell her that I have to give my marriage a chance. She wouldn't understand that though. Well your going to have to say something, and soon. "Did you take some aspirin with the banana bag? It helps with the hangover." That was the wrong thing to say. Congratulations Derek you are officially an ass. There are about a million better ways you could have started this conversation.
"Oh," Meredith said finally.
I should have explained that better.
"Your staying with her." Meredith's voice was flat.
Don't say something stupid, don't say something stupid. "She's my wife." That was stupid.
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Addison
10:52 pm
"Dr. Steevens did you need something?" Addison looked over at Izzie who had been watching her for the last 2 minutes. She can't know. There is no way that Derek could have gotten all the way over there and talked to Meredith before they got called back in. Don't say anything, AND DON'T GLOAT.
"No." Izzie said looking away.
This is really awkward.
11: 13 pm
Addison walked down the hall trying to find someone who could get a lawyer.
"How's it going with Addison?" Meredith voice floated out from behind a curtain.
Addison's ears perked up at the mention of her name. I shouldn't be eavesdropping like this.
"Bad mood? Good mood? Yay my husband picked me mood?"
I shouldn't be listening to this. I'm not in high school. I'm an adult. Walk away Addison. This is not your business, just keep out of it until Derek has a chance to talk to her. Walk away.
"I take issue with her salmon coloured scrubs. I mean, what self respecting surgeon wears salmon coloured scrubs?" Izzie's voice joined Meredith's behind the curtain.
"This is what I'm saying."
Addison smiled in spit of herself. I like my scrubs. So they kinda clash with my hair. Really it's Derek's fault, he is the one that dared me to wear them in med school. But seriously, who do they think they are. Gah! Come on Addison, if you where their age you would probably be saying the same thing. I wish I was there age.
6:49 am
"If you want to do breakfast another time I understand." Addison told her husband as he joined her at the entrance to the hospital. I really do understand, I need to go to bed. But I want to talk to him.
Derek looked drained.
He is so tired. "We'll do it another time." Addison said decisively, "You need to get some sleep, and there is nothing we need to say that can't wait." We've waited this long what's a few more hours. She patted his arm awkwardly and turned to leave.
Derek nodded, "Drinks?"
It's 7 am.
"Tonight?" Derek continued, "I think that we are going to need drinks."
Addison chuckled. A joke. He is making jokes.
"This is going to be rough," Derek sighed.
He is not joking, he needs to drink to handle me. I'm driving my husband too drink. Addison's face fell and she looked to the floor.
"I'll walk you to your car," Derek offered.
He wants to walk me to my car? He is volunteering to spend time with me when I have just let him off the hook for the morning. Addison smiled as they left the hospital together. She turned her head and saw Derek sigh again. He is so sad. What's wrong? Is it me? Is it Meredith? Should I do something. Do something Addison. This is not the time to be shy. All he can do is push you away. Addison looped her arm through his. Whether you want me here or not I am going to be there for you Derek Shepherd.
He didn't pull away.
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So what did you think? I have written it at least 5 different ways so if this one is too confusing I'll take it down and put up a different version. I don't think that all the chapters are going to be like this (or this long) so please review and tell me what you did and didn't like (preferably what you liked).
Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon.