What Becomes Of Snow

By,

DreamingFae

Yuki jerked awake, eyes wide as his inner demons clung to his consciousness during the first few moments of his waking. He struggled to calm himself—at least outwardly—as he was not alone in the room, working to quiet the harsh gasps that tore from his throat, to steady his shaking limbs, to return the mask of composure to his façade.

He wished he was alone. Alone with the shame of his sordid memories so as at least to allow himself to not be strong for once. He needed to be weak. To rage and weep with the hatred of himself and to eventually exhaust himself with the emotions so that once again he could become emotionless. He could bind up all of that useless fervor and lock it away again behind his walls of indifference. And then maybe…maybe he could fool himself and everybody else for just a little longer…just enough to get by for a little more time.

But he was not alone, and he struggled to put himself together piece by shattered piece, before the ruby-eyed boy turned from the window to see him.

When Kyo eventually did turn away from the window Yuki had barely managed to pull himself into some semblance of self-control. There was only a thin veil over his chaotic mentality and from the wry look on the other boy's face it wasn't doing him much good over being transparent.

Yuki looked away from the force of that red stare and tried to focus on something else—anything else. He felt very exposed in his state of near clear-headedness and in an attempt to lessen his feelings of inferiority he struggled to raise himself into a more upright position.

He hissed in pain at the throbbing aches the movement cost him and a wave of dizziness brought black spots to dance over his vision. Vaguely he registered his cousin moving forward as if to help and felt himself jerk wildly away as his bare shoulder was met with the light touch of the other boy's hand.

"N-no!" he bit out irrationally as remembered fear swept through his body. "Stop it! D-don't touch…!" He gasped his own harsh breathing cutting off his words.

Kyo jerked away as if he'd touched hot iron before raising both of his hands in a show of submission.

"Yuki—" he started.

At Yuki's wild eyed glance he choked off his own words. He wasn't sure then if Yuki was even in the same room anymore. Yuki looked away quickly his hands tightly gripping the sheets in his lap. He was repeating something over and over under his breath as he stared into his lap his eyes huge.

Kyo tried to pick out the words stepping forward when he couldn't catch them.

The movement sent Yuki reeling. He wrenched himself away almost falling from the bed before he began stumbling toward the door. His legs gave way just before he could grab the handle in a firm enough grip and he fell against the unyielding surface sliding into a shivering ball at the bottom.

He brought a trembling hand up to grip at his hair, small whimpers escaping from within himself.

"Yuki!" Kyo tried again. Slowly the other boy turned his head to stare wide-eyed at the red-head. "You are not there Yuki. You're here! You're safe!"

Yuki intent gaze was unnerving. "S-safe?" he echoed after moments of silence his voice hushed. His expression changed suddenly and a dark chuckle poured from his lips. "Safe?! Nowhere is ever safe!" His chuckles continued before they distorted into darker ripping sobs as he buried his face in his one good hand. "I'll never be safe."

Kyo moved forward slowly inching around the bed. "Let me help you." He said softly.

Yuki flinched away. "Don't!" he said his voice stronger.

"You can't lay there on the floor and I seriously doubt you can get yourself back onto that bed." Kyo said a scowl creeping into his expression.

Yuki shuddered dragging his arm across his face in a weak attempt to remove the traces of his tears. After another moment of silence Kyo again moved forward to stand at Yuki's side. He bent, grasping Yuki's good arm and wrapping it around his shoulder before bringing his other arm to support Yuki around his waist. With little effort—as Yuki weighed hardly anything, especially after refusing food for so long—Kyo pulled the other boy to his feet and began walking with him toward the bed.

He could feel the tremors that passed through the smaller boy's body pressed against his side. Yuki kept his face turned away from Kyo, staring at the wall to his right as he made small muddled steps. Even this seemed to be too much for him and Kyo felt himself supporting more and more of the boy's weight even within the few steps it took to reach the bed.

With a small amount of effort he deposited Yuki back onto the bed stacking the pillows behind him so that he could rest and still be half sitting up.

Yuki shivered his eyes feverish, forehead clammy with sweat and Kyo pulled the blankets up around him as best he could with him in that position.

As Yuki struggled to control his breathing, Kyo moved to sit in the chair still by the bedside at Yuki's right. He had to be hurting. Very much in fact as Kyo had needed to grip him around his ribs to move him from off of the floor. Violet eyes shut and his jaw clenched tight as Yuki waited for the pain to subside. After a long moment he let out a shaky breath before slowly opening his eyes.

His hands trembled violently and Yuki shoved them beneath the blankets hiding them from sight. He bowed his head, silver strands falling to cover his expression as he choked out in a strangled voice,

"I c-can't do this."

Kyo glanced at him. "Do what?" he queried in a controlled voice. To see Yuki of all people, Yuki who was the epitome of self control, broken and emotionally transparent was disturbing to say the least. He hoped that through a composed voice he could lend calm to his cousin.

Yuki tilted his head, his hair parting so he was able to stare at Kyo through the corner of an eye.

"I can't see him." He stated slowly. "I can't."

Kyo met his gaze squarely. "But you will." He said. "You will go there tomorrow and you will face that bastard and gain your freedom."

Yuki chuckled again in that hair-raisingly dark tone. "There is no freedom from him. He is always here with me, in my thoughts, in my sleep. There is no waking from him. There is no freedom from him."

And, Kyo thought as Yuki's gaze jerked towards the opening door where two of the staff were carrying in food followed by Hatori, he's right. There will never be freedom from Akito as long as he lives within Yuki.

Yuki kept his head lowered, his expression cut off from the room's visitors by the fall of his bangs. His body remained stiff and unmoving. Kyo glanced from him to the maids who were unhurriedly placing the few dishes that they carried on a nearby table. They whispered quietly among themselves casing furtive glances Yuki's way and made a show of doing their job despite the fact that there was nothing left to do.

"That will be all." Hatori spoke in his deep commanding voice. The two maids turned and bowed, "Yes Master Hatori," before exiting the room and closing the door.

Hatori sighed after the door closed. "I'm sorry about that Yuki" he said. "As it turned out, they were the only staff available."

"No doubt," Yuki spoke in a low voice "They will report directly to Akito."

"No doubt" Hatori conceded. Looking pointedly at Kyo he added, "You're presence will not be anonymous for much longer."

Kyo scowled and shrugged a shoulder, unconcerned. It was partly a show. Akito could be ruthless, he knew. But after knowing what he had done—the madness he was capable of—Kyo'd be dammed if he let the nut-job get the better of him.

----

Soft moonlight fell to delicately illuminate the face of the sleeping boy lying motionless on the hospital bed. His face was pale, his breathing deep, and his heart rate sounded softly in the quiet night by means of the monitor clasped firmly to one of the boy's fingers.

The quiet of the night was broken by the sound of the door handle clicking sharply as it was slowly turned from the outside. The door creaked open and the boy began to stir lethargically as the new arrival padded quietly across the room to the bed.

"Yuki." The man murmured bringing a hand up to stroke the waking boy's face gently. Violet eyes opened slowly to meet the dark gaze of the Sohma clan head.

A soft gasp escaped the boy's lips and his eyes widened. The sound of his racing heart was dramatically sounded by the monitor and inwardly he cringed at the high-pitched verification of his terror.

"Shh shh." Akito whispered tracing Yuki's face with his fingers. "Come with me Yuki. I have a surprise for you."

"A-akito…!" Yuki stammered.

A tiny smile raised the corner of the dark man's mouth. "It's okay Yuki. You'll be fine." He ran his fingers over the silver-haired boy's trembling lips. "Just do exactly as I say."

With the barest hint of touch, he lightly brushed his lips over Yuki's, before grasping the boy's hand and pulling him slowly off of the bed toward the door.

They passed silently through the dark halls, Yuki's hand held captive all the while by Akito's. He felt his breathing quickening, the beginnings of a wheeze deep in his throat.

"I'm so glad you were able to come to me." Akito said quietly, pausing before the sliding doors that lead to the main room. He glanced over his shoulder at Yuki. "Of course if it weren't for that asthma attack you wouldn't be here so soon. I'll have to be extra careful." He smiled indulgently at his younger cousin.

Turning back to the doors he slid them open stepping inside and pulling Yuki in along with him. Finally, finally he released his hold on Yuki before he turned and slowly slid the doors closed.

He felt weak in the darkness, as if his body would give out on him at any moment. Tremors shook through him and it was all he could do to keep from collapsing as Akito turned to face him.

"Let's talk." Akito said walking to the center of the room and settling in a seated position on the floor. "Come here," he said waving the frozen boy over and patting the floor before him.

Slowly Yuki unlocked his muscles and moved to stand before Akito before sinking to the floor in front of him.

"Akito—"

"Shh," The older boy cut him off. "Me first," he said. "How have you been Yuki? I think about you all the time. I miss you when you are not around."

He raised a hand and began playing with the soft strands of Yuki's hair. "These are getting long," he stated absently. "I know!" he exclaimed suddenly making Yuki jump. "I'll cut them for you!" he said his face lit up eagerly. "Won't that be fun?"

He didn't wait for a response and instead jumped up heading for the set of drawers that stood across the room atop which sat a covered bird cage. Pulling open the drawers one by one he searched until he found what he was looking for. With a too large grin he turned holding up a pair of shiny silver scissors. The metal glinted ominously in the small amount of moonlight that entered the room via the small crack between the sliding doors that lead outside to Akito's private garden.

The dark man made his way back over to his younger cousin and sat himself back down in front of the boy. "You'll like this," he said before glancing into the other boy's wide eyes. He paused.

"Yuki?" he asked a small frown marring his brow. "Don't tell me you don't want me to cut your hair!" he pouted. "I never get to be with you any more and as soon as I want to have a little fun…!" He stopped a small gleam appearing in his eye.

"Which reminds me…we never got to finish where we left off yesterday." He placed the scissors down on the floor beside him and gently brought his hand up to the collar of Yuki's shirt. Slowly he undid the first button.

Yuki felt his throat constrict further as his heartbeat sped and his breathing became heavier. Without thinking he grabbed Akito's hand halting its advance.

"A-akito," he gasped "Please d-don't. Please no!" Thick tears began to stream down his face unchecked and Yuki struggled to stop them.

Akito stared at him momentarily frozen. Slowly his expression of shock transformed into one of rage. "What was that?" he hissed quietly. "You dare to refuse me? Me?! I own you!"

In a movement so quick Yuki couldn't move away in time, Akito grabbed the scissors and plunged them into the boy's side.

Instant agony tore through his torso and Yuki cried out in shock and pain. His eyes locked with Akito's rage infused ones and he knew at that moment that Akito was too far gone. That this rage would consume him fully and that, in his current state, Akito may not stop this time before he killed him.

----

Reviews always welcome and very much desired.