Again, I don't own the Thunderbirds, so please don't sue!
"John, Gordon, my office, now."
John scowled at his communicator. He had no intention of going to his father's little meeting. Which is why, ten minutes later, he ignored the pounding on his door.
"John! Open this door." Scott's voice was muffled on the other side of the door. A few seconds later, Scott punched in the override, and walked in.
John was sprawled on his bed, his belongings half-packed and strewn about the room. Scott stared for a minute at the uncharacteristic mess, then glared at his brother. "Didn't you hear Dad call?"
"Yep."
"Well, let's go."
"Nope."
Scott marched over to the bed and grabbing his brother by the arm, pulled him to his feet. Ignoring the flash of pain in his brother's eyes, he shoved John out into the hallway. "Move."
They started down the hallway, Scott giving John an occasional push whenever he slowed down. They were the last to arrive at Jeff's office.
Gordon stood with his arms folded across his chest, in the far corner of the room. Virgil and Alan sat on one of the couches, and Jeff sat behind his desk.
Gordon looked up as they walked in, and shot his brother a filthy look.
"Hey Gord, nice day for a swim." John sneered.
"You son of a…" Gordon rushed towards John, only to be stopped by Alan and Virgil.
"That's enough!" Jeff's tone was hard as steel. "All of you, sit down."
With one last glare at his brother, Gordon sat down in the large armchair at the far end of the room. Virgil and Alan took their places back on the couch. John stood, his face expressionless, but hatred evident in his eyes.
"John, I said sit down." Jeff said again.
Scott shoved John down into a chair. An involuntary gasp of pain escaped his lips, and Virgil winced in sympathy. Scott then took a seat on the other couch.
Jeff let his gaze fall on each of his sons. Gordon had the beginning of what looked like a black eye, and scratches on his arms. He had a sullen look on his face, and kept sending ugly glances in John's direction. John's lip was swollen and his breathing wasn't quite steady. He held one had pressed tight against his left side. He was avoiding looking at anyone.
Scott's face glowered as he glanced from one younger brother to the other. Virgil watched John with concern, and Alan just looked confused.
"Now, some one want to explain what is going on?" Jeff asked. No one answered. "Well, somebody better start talking, I've had a hell of a night and I don't need this right now." Still nothing. "Fine, I'll start then. You all know that I've put International Rescue on hiatus for the past week, well I'm letting you know now that we're shutting down indefinitely."
Stunned silence met his words. Scott was the first to find his voice. "Dad, you--you can't do that!"
"I can and I am. There are things in this family that need to be addressed before we go back to saving the world." Jeff said with a look at Virgil.
"What about the repairs to Thunderbird 5 and FAB 1?" Alan asked.
John started at the mention of his 'bird, but Jeff seemed to not notice. "Repairs will continue as scheduled. As soon as everyone's able, we'll head up in shifts." Jeff smiled at his youngest son. "Alan, I expect you to take your place on those work crews."
There was no describing the wild joy that appeared in Alan's blue eyes. "FAB Dad!" He said breathlessly.
"And FAB 1? Will Penny and Parker be here to oversee her refit?" Virgil asked.
"Penny won't be coming back to the island." Jeff replied tonelessly.
If anything, the silence was even more profound at this news. Despite their anger at each other, the five boys exchanged glances. "Dad, what happened?" Scott asked.
"I don't want to discuss it right now." Jeff answered curtly. "Now Scott, you called this meeting, what did you want to talk about?"
Scott took a deep breath and got to his feet. "There seems to be some…tension between some of us. Tension that on a rescue, could get someone hurt at best, killed at worst."
"What rescue? Thought we were out of business." Gordon muttered from the corner.
"Shut up Gordon." John snapped. "You don't have to try and be funny all the time."
"Screw you John!" Gordon retorted.
John got to his feet as Gordon got to his. Jeff stepped between them both and stopped them with a look. "I'm guessing this is what part of you're talking about." Scott nodded. Jeff turned his gaze to his other two sons and folded his hands across his chest. "Gordon, John, you two want to have this out, let's go."
"He's been moping around for two weeks now and I'm sick of it! Grow up!" Gordon snapped.
"Yeah well, just because some of us know how to take life seriously and not jerk off all the time." John shot back.
"At least I'm not hiding at the bottom of a bottle every night!"
"No, just drowning yourself in the pool!"
"You're the one who pushed me off the fucking balcony!" Gordon exploded.
"Keep it up and I'll make sure it's the top level next time!" John hollered back.
John and Gordon started towards each other, fists clenched. Gordon's face was an ugly red, and John's eyes flashed dangerously. Virgil stepped in front of Gordon, while Alan tried to intercept John.
"ENOUGH!" Jeff thundered. He turned to John. "You pushed your brother off the balcony?"
John met his father's gaze unflinchingly. "Yes. And I'd do it again."
"That's unacceptable and you know it John."
John scowled. "That's it. Take his side, as usual. I'm just the forgotten son, doesn't really matter what my feelings are." He snapped.
Virgil started to protest, but Jeff held up his hand. "Why do you say that John?"
"Don't patronize me Dad, I'm not twelve anymore. It's pretty obvious how you all feel about me." John replied coldly.
"How we feel about you? What the hell are you talking about?" Scott asked bewildered.
"You know what I'm talking about!" John exploded. He circled the room. "Let's see, first we've got Scott, the Dad clone. A good little soldier to follow in his father's footsteps. Next, Virgil, the sheep. When's the last time you disobeyed an order Virg? And finally Gordon, the clown. Keeps everyone laughing and happy. What would we do without him?" Gordon snarled and started forward again only to be stopped by a look from Jeff.
John went on. "Then there's Alan. He looks so much like Mom, that Dad sends him away to school on the mainland since he can't stand the sight of him!" Alan flinched.
"John! That's enough!" Jeff ordered angrily.
"What Dad? Can't handle the truth when it's shoved in your face?" John's face was flushed and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. Grief or anger, Jeff wasn't sure which.
"And what about me Dad? Why did you pick me for duty on Thunderbird 5 instead of one of them?" John gestured to his brothers.
"Maybe because you're an astronaut. Not to mention the fact that you designed the station." Jeff walked towards his son.
John backed away shaking his head. "Then why do I get stuck up there for six weeks at a time, while the rest of these guys get to share a two week stretch?"
No one knew what to say. "See, I was right." John said quietly. "Dad, why?"
Jeff sighed. "John, I can see why you might think I'm singling you out, but it's not true."
"They why didn't you tell me Alan had been kidnapped? I know what you think of me, but couldn't you have at least told me my baby brother was missing?" There was no mistaking the pain and hurt in John's voice. "Or do you just not care…None of you ever really stop to think about me. About my needs. It's always the others first, then IR, and I come in somewhere at the bottom of the list."
"That's not true and you know it John." Jeff told him.
"Bullshit Dad! You even chose me over Scott down in that mine! I'll bet you couldn't wait for the Hood to finish me off so you could get back to your more important sons!" John's voice was tight with emotion.
Jeff went pale, and Scott leapt to his feet. "That's low John. Dad wouldn't choose any of us over the other, ever."
"Oh yeah? That's easy for you to say, he likes you." John retorted hotly. He stiffly paced the room, taking care to stay away from Gordon, finally coming to a stop in front of the large windows overlooking the bay. "None of you ever even ask what I do while I'm up there. What kind of research I work on. I'm not the soldier, or the artist, the gold medal athlete or the precious youngest. I'm just the forgotten on, the one no one knows how to talk to or what to do with." He said quietly.
Alan went instantly to John's side. "I've never felt anything but respect for you John. You're the only one who doesn't ever push me aside. No matter what, you've always had time for me." He smiled tentatively. "Thanks John."
Gordon rolled his eyes. "Ple-ease. Enough already."
Virgil whirled on him. "Back off Gordon. Or I'll toss you off the balcony this time."
"All this drama because Blondie here is too afraid to go back to his Thunderbird." Gordon snorted.
Virgil's fist connected instantly with Gordon's face, sending the young man sprawling to the ground. "Shut your God-damned mouth Gordon before I shut it for you." He growled.
Scott and Alan both started towards them but were stopped by their father. "Gordon." Jeff marched over and hauled his son to his feet. "You keep a civil tongue in your mouth or you can leave. Is that understood?"
"Yes sir." Gordon mumbled, eyes downcast.
Jeff turned back. "Where's John?" They all turned. John was gone.
The ensuing chaos between Gordon and Virgil had given John the opportunity he had been waiting for. He fled to his rooms and began throwing his belongings into boxes and suitcases. Hot tears flowed freely down his cheeks, and he wiped at them impatiently. He heard voices in the hall and froze, looking towards the door. The voices moved on, and John sagged down on the bed, his head in his hands.
I was right, they don't care. No one does.
Reaching under the bed, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He opened it and swallowed quickly, the fiery liquid burning down his throat.
"John?"
His head snapped up. "Go away."
"I just want to talk to you."
"I said go away." John quickly hid the bottle at the bottom of his suitcase.
"John. Don't make me override the door."
John sighed and punched in the un-lock code, then went back to his packing.
The door slid open and Jeff walked into the room. He glanced around at the boxes and bags. "Going somewhere?"
"I quit Dad." John said quietly, not looking up.
"I see." Jeff sat down on a chair near the desk. "Want to tell me why?"
John sighed. "I can't do this anymore Dad. I'm useless to everyone. Including myself."
"Running away won't help son. I know." Jeff replied softly.
John sat down on the edge of the bed. "Please Dad, just leave me alone."
Jeff was quiet a few minutes, his eyes scanning the room. While not as orderly as Scott, John had always been neat, and the state of his room startled Jeff. His eyes fell on the bookshelves, filled with books on space and astronomy. The telescope still stood in the corner. He thought it strange that for all his packing, John was leaving his most prized possessions. "Where will you go?"
"I was thinking the farm, back in Kansas."
Jeff nodded. "And how will you be getting there?" John looked up, startled. Jeff shrugged. "You're the one running away, what's your plan?"
"I—I…"
"Figured we'd just give you a ride huh? Wrong." Jeff leaned forward and fixed John with an icy glare. "I know you're hurting, I know you're scared. But don't for one minute think I'm going to let you go. No matter what you think, I love you."
John's hands trembled. "I want to leave. I'll swim back if I have to."
"John…"
John whirled on his father. "Dammit Dad! Don't you get it? I don't want to be part of this family anymore!"
"I think I'm entitled to know why." Jeff replied evenly.
"You want to know why Dad? Because I'm sick of being the insignificant member of this family. The one that gets left out of everything." John paced angrily around the room. "What's the real reason you didn't tell me about Alan being kidnapped?"
"You want the truth John?" John nodded. "You're right. I didn't think you could handle it." Jeff leveled his gaze at his son. "Are you going to tell me different?"
John sighed. "No, I guess not." Then he looked up again. "What about down in the mine. You chose Scott." His voice caught in his throat.
Jeff sighed. "No John I didn't." John started to protest but Jeff held up a hand to stop him. "When have I ever shown favoritism over any of you?" He leaned forward, his gaze boring into his son's. "John you've always been the one person I could talk to, confide in. Where did all this come from?"
John shook his head. "I don't know." He whispered.
"I want to help you John, but I can't if you don't talk to me."
John didn't reply, but turned back to his packing.
Jeff leaned back in the chair again. "OK, say I agree and give you a ride to an airport. What then? You said you quit, what are you going to do for money?"
John's face flushed in anger. "I've got plenty of money Dad. When's the last time I was allowed to go anywhere and have the chance to spend it?"
Jeff got up and paced the room. Finally he stopped by the window, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. In fact, there's alot of things I shouldn't have said." He said quietly. He turned to meet his son's haunted blue eyes. "If you really want to leave, I'll take you to wherever you want to go. Only…I wish you would stay. Let us—let me help you work through this."
John shook his head. "I can't! I just can't!"
Jeff nodded sadly in understanding. "Just promise me one thing." His eyes bored into John's. "Lay off the alcohol. I did the same thing when your mother died. You won't find any answers at the bottom of a bottle John. God knows I tried."
John gulped. "It helps…with the nightmares…"
"But for how long? And how much more do you need every night to keep those nightmares at bay?"
John's body trembled. "I-I-m not drinking that much."
"Yes, you are." Jeff gripped his son's shoulders. "Be careful John. Take care of yourself. Remember, I'm here. I'll always be here."
John's expression softened. "Thanks Dad…For understanding, or trying to anyway. I'm sorry if I let you down."
"You've never let me down John. Never." Jeff pulled his son close and held him tightly for a moment. Then placing a soft kiss on John's forehead, he left the room.
Two days later, Jeff stood in his office, watching as the fading image of the jet grew smaller. Soon it was out of sight altogether. He sighed. The house was strangely quiet.
Scott, while not actually blaming his father for John's leaving, wasn't exactly forgiving him either. Add the forced idleness from his shoulder wound, and Scott wasn't the easiest person to live with these days.
Virgil wasn't speaking to Gordon, and spent most of his days in the lab with Brains. His nights were spent in his studio, painting or playing moodily on the piano.
Alan was doing just the opposite. Every time he saw Gordon, he blew up at him, accusing Gordon of being the reason John left. While smart enough not to lay his hands on his older brother,Alan had a sharp tongue and knew how to use it.
Gordon, feeling guilty enough as it was, had thoroughly tired of this and had holed up in his room, refusing to come out, even for meals.
And though Jeff had left a message, Penny hadn't called. Not once.
Jeff glanced over at the mural on the wall. Virgil had painted it during happier times. The boys were standing together, arms draped over each other, laughing. Jeff wondered if he'd ever hear any of them laugh again.
He turned back to the window, his thoughts once again on his second son. For the first time since this all began, Jeff began to have doubts that he would ever recover. So much had happened, so much had been said. The physical wounds were mending, but the emotional ones might never heal.
Well Hood, looks like you won after all. You wanted me to suffer, to lose everything I loved, well congratulations, looks like you got your wish.
Jeff sighed again, his heart full of grief.
Thunderbirds are…gone.
FINIS.
A/N: OK folks, that was it, last chapter. Please don't try and find me. I have been placed into the Witness Protection Program for my own safety. :)
Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers. I'm glad you've enjoyed it. It's been a fun ride. A very special thanks goes to Sam 1 for helping me through all the medical jargon, and becoming more than just an advisor, but a good friend. Even if I do drive her a bit nuts sometimes. :)
And Arissy--Gotcha! ;)
So, what's next for the Tracy family? Will they recover from this or has the Hood won after all? Guess we'll just have to all wait and see! Thanks again!
Lillehafrue