35

Switcheroony 36

Angel couldn't hold it in and standing on the roof of the partially demolished warehouse he let out a roar, so primeval that it seemed to draw from the very depth of his being. This wasn't right. She was his. She would always be his. Ever since he'd first laid eyes on her he'd known she was the one. He'd known that she was dangerous, that she would call on parts of himself that he had thought long ago dead. And she had.

Why had he agreed? Why had he let it go this far? Buffy's feelings for Willow were just a phase, an extension of their friendship. They could never have the same depth of meaning… She'd tried to replace him before, but no man had ever measured up. And, to be perfectly honest, that fact had pleased him. No man could ever replace him. Willow wasn't meant to be a threat; she was just a safe bet. After all, Buffy had needs. It wasn't real, it couldn't be!

But it had looked real. It had felt as if there was more than just… Noooo!! Buffy was just fooling herself. She was going to live a lie. So why did that bother him so much?

BtVS

Cordelia wiped away the beads of perspiration that had built up on her brow. Her insides still felt hollow but thankfully the desire to throw up hadn't come back. Xander had turned almost white and, in the aftermath, she threw him an understanding glance.

"That appeared to go well," Giles commented, a trace of nervousness apparent in his tone.

"Oh yeah! The new and improved Wicca/Slayer tag team just kicked some mega 21st century ass. I mean I know Willow's always had magic smarts but that was way more than a floaty pencil. Did you see that glow?" Xander gushed, standing to head towards the bathroom, before remembering that it was occupied.

"Indeed, it seems that their… coupling has had benefits that no one could have foreseen," Giles confirmed, turning to Cordelia. "I take it your dream didn't infer that by succeeding in bringing them… together… that something more would be brought into existence?"

"It was a 'Vision'. A dream is running to catch the bus naked. Evil trying to take over the world by crippling the Slayer - that's a vision." Shrugging, Cordy continued, "Nope, it was more of a 'this is the bad stuff that will happen' if they don't get it together."

Giles nodded, slowly realizing that he was witnessing the evolution of the slayer line. As her Watcher, he'd read all the diaries, all the accounts, but he'd never been presented with any reference to a Slayer teaming up with a human. Yet it was true that Buffy had always been different. She had always had the Scoobies and her mother for support but a partnership… a mating? There had been Angel… but no, that had not been the same.

"Xander, give me a hand, will you? We need to move Faith to the sofa," Cordelia pointed out.

Xander threw her a questioning look from behind the kitchen counter as he placed the saucepan back on the lit stove.

Sighing, Cordelia raised her eyebrows. "Giles will need the table next."

BtVS

Willow couldn't take it any longer. Buffy had been holding her and stroking her hair for what seemed an age and, although she knew it was meant to be soothing, it was becoming nothing but torture. "Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"I need you to… could you please stop that?" Willow mumbled, as she let the shiver loose.

"What?" Buffy responded, pulling her chin back from Willow's shoulder in confusion.

"The… stroking," Willow explained, a little breathlessly.

"Oh! Sure," Buffy said suddenly feeling rejected. "Sorry."

Grasping Buffy's hand, Willow said "S'okay, I just… if you keep doing that… I don't think we'll ever get to Giles. Tingles and, well… Tingles."

Buffy smiled with relief, "Tingles, huh?"

"Yeah," Willow stated, fighting back the desire to blush.

"Kinda hoping you're not talking about the bad kind? You know, the 'evil's a-coming' tingles."

"Nope," Willow grinned, "Definitely not the bad kind."

As they stared at each other, sharing the silly smiles that insist on covering your face when you're in love, time seemed to stand still. Buffy could feel the joy building as she could almost feel her heart expanding. She hadn't felt like this in a very long time. As a matter of fact, she didn't think she had ever felt exactly this way. Willow looked so happy. She could see and feel the love that this woman wanted to give her. It was amazing. She didn't want this moment to end, but they had to get stuff done before they could truly relax and enjoy their happiness. Sighing, she turned her head to one side in apology. "It's time, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

BtVS

Giles had maneuvered himself onto the table with all the understandable uncertainty of a father forced to place his life once again in the hands of his children. This happened far too often for his liking. He really wished he could have avoided having to prove his trust in them yet again. But Buffy and Faith had been right - they couldn't risk a trip to hospital and the bullet had to be removed.

He had sat in numbed pain awaiting the outcome of Faith's 'surgery' and healing; watching with such pride as Willow showed the immense control and confidence that she now had. He had swallowed his natural and quite predictable fear that she would falter or doubt her own abilities. But as each part of the healing passed by smoothly, he was in complete awe.

Glancing at his sofa where Faith seemed to be sleeping and resting comfortably as her stalwart companion Cordelia watched over her, he was forced to realize just how much more than they once were, these young women had become. Each had showed such maturity, such self-sacrifice, such strength. He couldn't help but wonder if they really needed him any more.

Shaking aside his inner concerns, he tried to settle himself. It was now his turn and despite his respect for the two women approaching him, he couldn't quite manage to swallow the nervousness that filled him at the thought of what was about to happen. It had been one thing seeing that bullet extracted from Faith - it was quite another to know that you were about to have it happen to you.

BtVS

Buffy felt Willow's hand reach for her own long before their fingers touched. An anticipatory shiver ran down her spine and she smiled to herself.

"Did you drink the anesthetic?" Willow asked, and seeing Giles indicate the empty glass in Anya's hand, she nodded "Okay". Moving forward she briefly touched his shoulder before smiling nervously at him.

"You'll be fine, Willow. I saw how well you ministered to Faith," Giles assured her, bracing himself.

Pressing her lips together in an accepting smile, she reached inside herself for confidence. 'He's right. I've already done this once,' she reminded herself. Buffy gently squeezed her hand and she felt a warm wave of support bathe her.

Giles was momentarily distracted as he watched Willow center herself, observing the stillness of a young woman, now capable of drawing on the stronger magics and somehow even drawing on Buffy's inner strength, and he saw the focus that took over Willow's normally reserved and shy attitude. But then he felt it… something cold building within his leg. There was no pain… only the feeling of cold spreading, pushing its way into the wound. The sensation wasn't unpleasant. It was simply… well… unnerving.

He had limited his own forays into the world of Magic and he had been more than a little hesitant during Willow's early interest in the subject. 'Damn it, you know you were a pig-headed oaf.' His own personal knowledge of just how wrong experimenting with magic could go had long ago dictated his opinion on the subject. He often wondered if he should have even voiced his objections. Willow's natural youthful rebelliousness, if you could ever use that word to describe her, had simply drawn her further into a subject that, at first, she had found academically challenging and, then, enthralling as her natural ability came to light. But having watched her grow, seeing the Wiccan appear and now seeing her innocently hover over the boundary that would shape her into an exceptional sorceress, his fears changed.

Willow's ability to control her use of magic and selectively draw from the magic available had already been proven. The things she had managed to do in the past day alone further demonstrated that she had truly moved beyond the limits of his experience, attaining a level of magical aptitude and practical experience far beyond even his Watcher-trained theoretical knowledge. 'How can I continue to guide her? Will she let me? Does she realize…?'

A shift within his leg broke his train of thought as Willow, eyes momentarily closed, began to raise her upturned palm.

"Shouldn't she be looking at what she's doing?" asked Anya as her question, laced with slight annoyance, broke the silence.

"Shhh," Xander hissed.

"I guess she doesn't need her eyes to see what she's doing. I mean it's not like she can see into his leg anyway, is it?" Anya muttered.

Giles closed his eyes, attempting to dismiss Anya's vocal rantings.

Willow could see it… finally. Forming a point at its core in her mind, she drew the energy needed from Buffy. Slowly, tentatively she used it to alter and shift the forces of gravity, lightening the weight of the bullet. Holding it in place, she drew again; this time to create the path, careful not to strain any of the already sensitive and traumatized areas of the wound.

Buffy saw the beads of sweat beginning to form on Willow's brow. She could feel the sheer mental focus of Willow's concentration. Standing still, doing nothing wasn't something she enjoyed, but she did it. This was her true love's thing. Willow had stood back and followed orders for years, allowing Buffy to call the shots; she could hardly bitch when the tables were turned. Then she realized that she wasn't just doing 'nothing'. She was actually participating in Willow's procedure.

"Ooooh. Look," Anya commented as Giles' leg started to rise.

Willow's eyes flew open. Sure enough the whole leg was beginning to rise and blood was beginning to ooze from the wound. 'Less, I need to use less,' she realized and altering the balance, she satisfyingly saw the leg lower. 'Okay now, I need to turn it about 10 degrees on the vertical which should shift the trajectory and avoid… Balance… Balance. He doesn't have slayer healing. I'll have to cauterize those veins. Balance… balance…'

BtVS

Angel watched them through the corner of Giles' living room window. He didn't know what had drawn him here or why he felt the need to hide and spy on them. Then he recalled how badly Buffy had reacted to his support of Faith the last time they'd spoken. He really did hope that they were past that. He needed to speak to her and have her listen to him. Hell, he'd sent the fallen slayer to become a matchmaker between Buffy and Willow. And he had just seen Faith deliberately take a bullet to protect them. These sacrifices alone had to mean something and should permit civilized conversation, damn it!

The Scooby gang had always impressed him, but he had no doubt that after the Angelus episode they would never truly trust him again. He was damned sure that neither Xander nor Giles had suffered any sleepless nights when they'd thought he was dead. Could he really blame them?

As he watched Buffy hold Willow's hand, jealousy rose up, its depth surprising him. 'I'm over her, aren't I?' he wondered. 'She's over me - that's obvious.' He seethed. He couldn't seem to control the feelings of loss, jealousy and frustration. None of this had ever been his choice. He'd had to give her up. He'd had to save her from Spike. None of this had been truly his choice. It had all been about loving her and keeping her safe. But every time… it had meant surrendering his own dreams. How could that be fair?

Okay, so he couldn't grow old with her while Willow could, if you ignored a slayer's normal life expectancy. He couldn't give her children. Well, neither could Willow. He couldn't guarantee safeguarding her from Spike but neither could Willow.

Angel turned from the window and, gazing into the darkness, he let out an inner grunt of exasperation. 'What have I done?' He could have been with her. Okay, not in the physical sense, but damn and hell spawn, it hadn't been about that for him. But she'd wanted more, and now look how that had ended. No! This was better.

'I need to talk to her, I need to know… What?' Racking his mind to make sense of his feelings, he tried to ignore the images of their one night together, of how she had felt; the noises she'd made, the smell of her. 'Why am I thinking of that?'

BtVS

Buffy could feel Willow drawing from her and, yet, feeding her. She had never been so aware of the magic, so attuned to its music, the octaves and soaring scales that seemed to be playing within her veins. She allowed her mind and heart to wonder at the possibility that Willow was playing this music just for her, so that she could somehow understand the attraction of the magics. No wonder the magics meant so much to Willow.

But Giles' sudden intake of breath drew her back to the reality of what they were… no… what Willow was attempting to do. She watched in total amazement, as Willow appeared to marginally enlarge the entry wound. Then she saw it -- slowly approaching the surface, only to pause. 'He looks so pale, so drawn, so … old? Just how old is he? I've never asked. Okay, on his last birthday he was…? How can I know him so well… and yet know so little?' Buffy wondered as she tried to offer him a reassuring smile.

Just as she had with Faith, Willow paused to repair the torn ligaments and veins behind the bullet as she moved it carefully towards the surface. Giles had no slayer healing powers and she began to feel perspiration forming on her brow. She could almost picture the organs in her mind's eye, but she didn't dare close her eyes and trust her inner vision alone. Continuing the balancing act of force, action and growth was exhausting. She couldn't allow her mind to wander for so much as a second.

Seeing the beads forming on Willow's brow, Xander glanced at Buffy in concern, only to see a look of absolute devotion and support on the face of his dear friend as she quietly held on to Willow's hand and smiled at her watcher. His eyes followed hers. 'When had Giles begun to look older?' Fighting the lump that began to form in his throat, he smiled quietly and offered a silent prayer that there wouldn't be some price to pay for this. 'These darned magics always seem to have consequences attached.' He had come to think of Giles as the ever so wonderful English Uncle that the kids loved and that parents refused to talk about. He wasn't ready to let go of him yet. "Does it hurt much?" he asked.

Clenching his jaw before turning to glare at Xander, Giles slowly formed his response. "I'm lying here after drinking what can only be described as boiled twig tea, while a bullet intended for you is being slowly pulled from my screaming flesh," raising his eyebrows to look over his glasses, Giles fixed his gaze on Xander. "Do you seriously want me to answer or shall I just glare?"

BtVS

Had his death really all been just some large cosmic joke? It seemed that women always managed to spin him around and lead him where he least wanted to go, for most of it. At first, women had just been a pleasure - like good ale, a fine stallion and roasted meats. Okay, his father hadn't been overly impressed by his hedonistic approach, but women had been about fun and nothing more back then. His life had been so much simpler than his death.

In death, he had been drawn to the strong women he'd never known in life - first Darla, then Buffy, and now to an evolving degree Cordelia. Damn it, she'd talked him into this. Since when had he been the poster child for alternative lifestyles, not including death as one? Women had always tried to change him. And he'd let them.

He'd thought Darla to be his soul mate in death, his teacher but she'd used attraction and desire to devastating effect. Her own sexual appetite had tempted him from what would have been his own pedantic ways. Why were women so good at using sex to mold men?

In his earlier years he'd quite enjoyed exploiting man's peculiar sexual weaknesses; the guilt and secrecy that lingered within those that most of society considered deviants, their fixation with the fringes of sexuality, the breaking of society's taboos and the risks that involved had drawn him in, if only as a spectator.

But Buffy had reconnected him to life. He hadn't asked her to do that, but she'd done it anyway. Making him care about the emotional implications of sex, just like Darla, she had used sex. She had used her innocence, knowing what the temptation of such a fruit could do to a man. He might as well have held out his wrists and asked her to chain him.

BtVS

Anya yawned as she settled on a kitchen stool. 'It's far more exhausting watching all that magic stuff and the emotions. Why is everything so damned emotional with all of them? How do they stand it?'

Leaning against Buffy's deceptively diminutive but strong and comforting frame, Willow sighed, glancing with satisfaction at the bullet in her open palm. It was over. She'd done it. Giles was still lying prone on the table, Anya bandaging his wound as Xander glanced at the stairs that led to Giles' bed.

Buffy appeared to have been watching the scene, too, as she led Willow towards Giles' favorite chair. "I won't be long," she promised, brushing Willow's hair from her face as she lowered her true love into the rather well worn but treasured seat.

Willow sank into the soft leather, doing her best to keep to herself from the feeling of loss. She had felt so connected… to Buffy… to the magic… she had felt so strong, so confidant and so centered but now that it was gone, her natural insecurities returned. So she just sat there and watched as Buffy carried Giles up to his bed. Glancing at Faith's now sleeping figure and Cordelia's relaxed slouch, she yawned. Her eyelids seemed so heavy; maybe if she just closed them for a moment.

Anya opened her eyes at the sound of movement, 'Oh yeah, Willow gets to sink into the comfy chair, like what she did was that hard. You should have seen me in my prime, firing inert bullets into that unfaithful soldier and them moving them around to cause the most damage, without killing him. Now that was tiring,' Anya internally railed before allowing her eyes to close again.

Buffy followed Xander back down the stairs. Giles hadn't really said much as they'd tried to make him comfortable, which wasn't really that surprising. That English reserve had always made him uncomfortable with any kind of physical contact. Every time she'd hugged the guy he'd frozen up. Being manhandled to bed was probably like social inappropriateness overload or something.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she almost ran into the Xander's back as he suddenly stopped and stood staring at Anya who appeared to be sleeping, half on a kitchen stool and half on the counter. Then she heard it, a faint wheezing noise followed by a puffing sound. 'Oh my god, Anya's snoring!'

Glancing past Anya, Xander's eye caught a faint spire of steam. "The pan!" he shouted, leaping forward.

"The what?"

"The twig tea. It's still on the gas."

BtVS

Holland Manners paused as he approached his personal elevator, Maclay's parting words replaying in his mind. Turning, he headed down the corridor towards the man, if you could really call him one, he had hoped to avoid for a good long time. Pondering the idea of asking one cryptic man about the cryptic comment of another filled him with understandable misgivings, but he had no choice.

BtVS

He could see them, Buffy and Willow holding hands again, approaching the car as Xander led the way. 'I could just walk up to them and say hello. Ask to speak to her,' Angel reasoned.

'Oh, and asking gets, does it? Since when have you ever just been given what you've asked for? Get some large ones. Take what you want. You know you can. Taking is much more fun, remember?' his demon reminded him.

'I don't have any right to…'

'Right? What the spitting torment has right got to do with it? This is about might, power, winning. But hey, if you're happy to lose, I guess the little blonde really did cut them off. And that bloody witch let you go to hell. She could have stopped it from happening, but oh, no…' the demon continued.

'It wouldn't have mattered, the walls between the dimensions…' Angel attempted to respond.

'Yeah, yeah, that's what they told you. There you were -- a lovesick bat; makes me sick. I'll believe you, Buffy – I'll die again for you, Buffy – I need the drama, the tragedy -- it goes so well with the tortured soul and quest for redemption I've got going. Get over yourself. DEATH is closer to life than you realize. It's survival of the fittest, dog eat dog, an eye for an eye and all that stuff.'

'No… this is wrong. You shouldn't be this loud. I hold you in… I can hold you in… I can silence you…'

'Really? I think you want to hear me. I think you need to hear me, but the truth hurts, doesn't it?'

Angel fell to his knees as the car pulled away. 'Noooooooooo…'

BtVS

Closing the door of her house, Buffy couldn't help but notice that her hands had begun shaking. 'Get a grip. We're home, we're alone - finally!' she berated herself before turning in jubilation to celebrate with her Willow, only to see a somewhat shy and hesitant expression on her true love's face that made her mind jump into paranoid overdrive. 'Why is she looking at me like that? She looks almost… Does she think I'm going to jump her right here? Nooooo, don't be silly… I want to, I mean I would love to touch and… But that doesn't mean she'll want to… Talk, that's what women do… what we should do. I mean they share their feelings, they… I so suck at that stuff and Will knows I do. So what am I supposed to do? I should say something,' Buffy concluded as Willow's eyebrows began to raise themselves questioningly.

Willow couldn't take this silence much longer. She'd thought the car was bad but standing here at the bottom of the stairs, wondering where Buffy would want to take this, knowing that she needed to calm down or she'd explode at the first kiss. It was a nightmare. She needed to plant her feet down somewhere… find some balance… maybe sit on some ice.

Stepping forward Buffy took a deep breath.

"You must be tired--"

"Are you hungry--"

They chuckled with amusement; both at having tried to speak at the same time and with relief that it appeared that neither one of them were prepared to head upstairs just yet.

"A little. I seem to ache all over," mumbled Willow as she struggled with a sudden attack of shyness as Buffy, her real honest to goodness Buffy, moved even closer.

Nervously twitching her hands, Buffy smiled. "Sorry, most of those aches are my fault. I'd suggest a nice long soak in the bath, but I'm not sure you want to risk another after the last time."

Laughing nervously, Willow raised her eyes to those of her beloved. "Sounds good… but let's eat first this time."

"Deal," exclaimed the Slayer, forcing herself to attempt to relax. 'She's not expecting us to jump right into bed. Why would I think she would? Taking it slow… that's a good thing… isn't it? What if she doesn't want to? She's black and blue, you idiot.' Reaching out, Buffy gave in to a need for something so simple. 'I can do this.'

Taking Willow's hand in hers, she momentarily allowed herself to enjoy the slight flutter, the feel of her skin. Smiling at her Willow, she guided her true love away from the stairs and into the kitchen.

BtVS

Wesley stared at the book, a sinking feeling rising from the pit of his stomach. "There's a design to this chaos and he's part of it. Why wouldn't he be?" Moving back to the online archive reference, he scanned schedule five of the stolen gifts index dreading that he would find exactly what he did only moments into his scrolling search. At least with books it took self-preparatory hours to get used to the premise or basis of a hypothesis. This damned internet allowed you to plunge into fear without adequate warning.

"It's almost circular, that's how he managed to miss it," Wesley muttered as he reached for his phone book.

BtVS

Eating together was a menu of nervous silence, with a side order of broken small talk, followed by a dessert of wishful, longing looks. Clearing their plates, they brushed hands and electricity seemed to set the room alight. Willow, hearing Buffy gasp, gave in to the longing and reached out to run her hands into the hair at the nape of her beloved's neck, pulling her into a searing kiss.

There was something so personal about the way that Willow was kissing her. It was as if she was learning a new language, Willow-speak. She could feel her mouth moisten in anticipation. Willow's lips were asking questions of her.

This kiss was about the truth, it was about finding life, it was about desire, but mostly it was about Willow silently saying – I really did mean it when I said I loved you. Tell me you meant it, too.

Buffy had never been kissed quite like this before. It made her feel more female than she had ever felt in her life. Willow was somehow kissing her soul. Each tender touch, each lick and each flick of the redhead's tongue was unraveling Buffy and throwing back the steel curtains that she had used so often to keep some parts of herself private.

Feeling her knees buckle she allowed herself to enjoy the momentary light-headedness. 'Ooooh god, how does she do that?' Throwing caution to the wind, she pulled Willow to her, crushing her in her arms, drinking in the lips of her one true love. She had to show Willow that this was real for her, too. Pouring her feelings and longing into every meeting of their mouths, determined to impress her true love with the depth of her feelings, Buffy threw herself into a whirlpool passion and honesty.

'Air, I need air,' Willow realized as her knees wobbled. Drawing back, she quickly cradled Buffy's face in her hands to hold her at bay. "Breathe. We – have – to – breathe."

"I've heard that theory – it's overrated," Buffy smirked.

Grinning between gulps for air, Willow smiled. "I almost lost you… I can't believe this is real."

"As real as it gets. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you," Buffy apologetically offered.

"You're worth waiting for," Willow stated, rather breathlessly, fixing Buffy with a meaningful gaze.

"I've wasted so much time."

"It doesn't pant matter. We're here gasp breathing," Willow reassured Buffy between gulps. "We can't go back pant and change the past gasp so there's no point in thinking about that. Plus… there's the whole causality loop and… time paradox to consider if we did… " She paused in her babble, looked lovingly at her beloved and said quietly, "Buffy, you weren't ready."

"I was so afraid of losing us. You know that, right?"

" 'Us' is looking… pretty good to me right now."

Buffy responded with a rather lecherous grin. "And it tasted pretty damned good, too… until that whole needing to breathe thing." Running her free hand over Willow's rear, she savored the urge to squeeze a Wiccan cheek. But her true love inexplicably raised a questioning eyebrow, as if she knew exactly what was on the Slayer's mind and instinctively Buffy reeled herself in, chastising herself - 'What are you? Some kind of bar room gorilla. Way to go with the finesse. Willow isn't just a hot body that I need to touch everywhere and I need her to know that, to know that this… us… here, now and forever… is what this is about. "Do you know what I'd do if I could go back in time?" Buffy asked wistfully.

Willow absently replied "Nope. What?" as her mind processed Buffy's ravenous look, she experienced a giddy feeling and dry throat. 'Did I do that?'

"If I could go back in time, I'd find YOU… sooner," Buffy stated before letting her hands bring Willow's lips to her own, firmly showing the Wiccan exactly where she belonged.

BtVs

Maclay walked towards the bus station, a spring in his step. He was finally ready. He was going to show them all, everyone who had ever laughed at him or judged him, telling him it couldn't be done and that it was wrong. It couldn't be wrong… it felt too good. There had been a rush of powerful magics as he had bled hope and guilt from the Vampire's soul, stripping away two of the fundamental human psychological balances.

Without them the demon would be stronger; it could exert its influence. He'd heard it calling to him when they were joined and he'd been inspired. It had been a moment of genius. People didn't fully understand, didn't fully appreciate his gifts. Even the Senior Partner, a man of vast experiences, had undervalued what he had done for them.

BtVS

There had never been a moment like this before. She'd been so careful not to let her best friend know how she felt, but now Buffy knew and that rooted everything in reality and consequences. Their other nights together had been about fantasy and not missing the opportunity when she'd realized that Buffy was not opposed to exploring this side of her sexuality. It had also been about trying to get back into their own bodies. But the beautiful woman leading her upstairs had made it very clear that she wasn't experimenting anymore. She wanted a relationship. Buffy wanted them to have a future… together. 'Scared? Why am I so scared?' Willow wondered as she felt the thousand butterflies take off in her stomach.

Her eyes were naturally drawn to the swaying motion of Buffy's hips, the way her rear seemed to call to her. It was bizarre how Buffy's body could affect her so much, considering she had occupied that very body until only a few hours ago. But she was back in her own body and tonight this would be the way it was meant to be; there would be no need for shadows, darkness or weirdness. She could just be herself. 'But what if she preferred … icky thoughts… who would prefer to make love to themselves… Buffy's not kinky, she's normal. Well okay, slayer normal… Oh! Wait! Why didn't I think of that before? I don't have her stamina any more! What if I can't satisfy her or… I fall asleep?'

Reaching Buffy's bedroom door, the Slayer turned to her Witch. "We don't have to if you don't… I mean… I know you're tired and… if you want a bed to yourself tonight… I'll understand," she hesitantly offered, her face doing very little to hide what she really wanted -- Willow in her bed.

Willow's mind exploded with fire at Buffy's sweet offer, doing away with her doubts and hesitations. Giving in to her impish enjoyment of the moment, she responded, "I could sleep on the sofa… but Giles always says that the best treatment for aching muscles… is to keep them…" She paused, leaning towards her beloved, "… warm and active."

"Yeah… active… and warm… heat is important," Buffy gulped as a blush crept up her face. She loved this teasing, tempting side of Willow. Opening the door and drawing Willow into the bedroom, Buffy held her hunger at bay. The honeyed rays of dawn streamed into the room as they made their way to the bed.

Turning to her true love, Buffy paused. She didn't know if it was an issue of trust or a lack of courage but she needed Willow to make the first move this time. Her beautiful redhead held the key to this, to their first real time, their first honest, real, true time together. No matter how desperately she wanted to taste her true love, it was more important to her that Willow be the one to unlock this door. She wanted – no – she needed this to happen because Willow wanted it to.

BtVS

Cordelia stared at the softened and sleeping features of her newest friend, relieved to see that Faith had finally surrendered to the exhaustion she had been fighting. Faith had chosen to rest her head on Cordelia's lap, in the first instance grinning up at her and asking how Giles was doing, but eventually she had allowed Cordelia to see the pain. The Seer sure as hell wasn't going to move her now. The brunette Slayer hadn't really settled down until Giles had been taken to bed, the boiling anesthetic had probably helped, but even then she had been attempting only to catnap until Xander had finally taken Buffy and Willow home.

She could still hear Anya tidying things away in the kitchen as she awaited Xander's return and another round of why snoring was antisocial in public. The woman had been unusually quiet, for the most part, throughout Willow's amazing performance and she was almost certain that during the second operation she'd actually seen her wince in sympathy. Anya's 'ex-demon' status had been extremely unnerving when she had first heard of Xander's new flame. But meeting her had only served to further remind Cordy of Doyle and how blind she'd been in the past.

Glancing down at Faith and gently moving a strand of her hair away from her face, she wondered if her own closeness to Angel wasn't just another example of how she'd learned to avoid making connections, taking risks. 'So I pick a guy who can only ever be my friend, and ooooh… added bonus, I have to be ready to stake him and throw him out of my life at a moment's notice. Let's be honest, Xander was the last truly emotional risk I took until Faith. Wait! What? How - not making much sense - can I get?'

As she tried to analyze the emotions that had confronted her in the last day, Cordelia couldn't help feeling like she was reading an 'advice to the lovelorn' column. 'Okay, so it's a given that there are probably more than a few gay vibes kicking off around here at the moment. Go figure. I mean… we stood really close to them when they switched back and they were blasting out that aura stuff like there was no tomorrow.'

Adjusting Faith's blanket, she tried to find a comfortable dozing position. Xander would be back soon and it wouldn't be long before she'd have Faith in her own bed. 'Now's not the time for this. And Faith's not exactly up to quenching some Anne Heche type curiosity… yeah, I'm just curious. Why shouldn't I be? Everyone wonders what it would be like… Don't they?'

BtVS

As Xander walked back into Giles' apartment, he was met with the expectant face of Anya. Uncertain what she was expecting he cocked his head to one side, offering her the unspoken question, what?

"We're going to have to stay here, aren't we?" Anya asked.

"Well, that would be a "yes". Giles will need us," Xander responded, unsure if the G-man was really going to enjoy having Anya as a nursemaid.

"Then you'll need to get rid of them," Anya insisted, nodding towards Faith and Cordelia. "We'll need the sofa to sleep on. You can pick me up some fresh clothing while you're out," she advised him, brushing away the dust that was still clinging to her slacks before flouncing off towards the bathroom.

Xander nodded and moved to take a look at Faith. If she was still asleep he really didn't want to wake her up just yet. As he approached them Cordelia raised her head.

Without twisting her neck to face Xander, Cordelia responded to his silent inquiry. "She's still out, but I want to get her somewhere more comfortable. She was renting a room above a shop on Maple Court, I have the address," Cordelia advised him.

Moving in front of her, the better to read Cordelia's expression, Xander noted that Faith's head was comfortably nested on his ex's lap. He allowed himself a knowing smile, as it seemed that Sapphic stuff was catching. But the one eyebrow-raised glare he received in return, told him all he needed to know; one more smirk and he'd regret it. It seemed Cordelia still had the ability to make him shrink with just a glance.

BtVS

Buffy stood holding her needs and desires firmly in check. She wanted this so much. But she wanted to know for sure. She still had doubts; she still had fears; why the hell wouldn't she? Everything had happened so fast and so intensely between them.

Willow stood unsure as to what to do next. Buffy wasn't moving and yet there was such an inviting look in her eyes… 'Why isn't she doing anything – saying anything? I've obviously missed something. What's with the hesitation…? It's not like we haven't been here before… Last time, no the last two times she was the one who… She's always been the one who…. Oh! OH! It's my turn. Zero on observation. She wants me to make the first move.'

Gulping as she realized what the hesitation was actually about, she tried to calm herself. At least this time she wasn't exactly working in the dark. They'd had two nights together, she was pretty sure that she'd managed to please Buffy both times. But she'd let Buffy set the pace on both those occasions. This time she was being given the lead and, if she was honest, she didn't have a damn clue what to do with it. With Tara it had been so warm, caring and unthreatening, she'd never quite lost her head, in the way she had with Buffy. Taking a deep breath, Willow offered her beloved a tender smile as she stepped towards Buffy. 'I can do this. Okay, so I'm not big on the butch. That doesn't mean I can't show her what I want. Is she expecting passion or tenderness? Way to go, I haven't got a clue. Maybe that extreme passion had been required because of our awkward situation. Maybe Buffy's hoping for something different this time.' As chaos took over in her mind, Willow allowed her body to take the lead. At least it seemed to know what she needed… to be as close to Buffy as she could possibly get. Mentally crossing her fingers she hoped that the rest would just come naturally and sooner than it eventually had with Tara.

Reaching the blonde, she leaned forward, keeping her eyes open and in contact with her beloved as she tilted her head, before placing a tender but fleeting kiss on Buffy's warm lips. Seeing her beloved's pupils expand told her everything she needed to know. She stepped fully into Buffy's body before pausing just inches from her lips. She could feel Buffy's pulse heighten as she slowly moved in for a second kiss, this time allowing her lips to linger just a fraction longer. She bathed in the slight sound of Buffy breathing her in, allowing a lightheaded joy to quench her doubts.

Unable to hold herself back she raised her hand to gently brush aside a strand of Buffy's hair, before once again leaning into that slightly open mouth. Brushing her lips across the opening she allowed her tongue to escape and caress the almost available mouth before her, causing it to fully open and invite her in. Pulling Buffy's body into her own she plunged into the sweet heaven that was her beloved's mouth. So warm; so inviting; so vibrant, and then she met Buffy's tongue and the sky fell. From that moment every gasp seemed to send a thrill down her spine, as Willow allowed herself to express the love she felt so long for the woman in her arms.

Their kisses seemed to scale the highest of mountains and to plumb the deepest of seas, as they explored and teased each other with unselfish abandon. There was no list, no curse, no timetable and no other reason for this pleasure than that they both wanted it.

Pulling Willow on top of her, Buffy fell back onto the bed, eager for the feel of her true love's body on her own. Laughing in joy at their mutual pleasure, she gazed into the face of the woman she loved, into the sensitive half-lidded eyes of the woman who had long ago stolen her heart. "I love you," she stated simply and honestly, allowing herself to voice the heart-swelling emotions that were flooding her mind.

Willow blushed and paused, fixing Buffy with a look which she prayed held all the sincerity she wanted to show, before she quietly responded, "I love you, too. I always have." It felt wonderful to be able to declare what she had known to be true for so long without an audience and for no other reason than this was how she felt about the beautiful woman in front of her.

Buffy felt her heart expand in the sure and certain knowledge that they had finally found each other. She needed contact, skin to skin, lips to lips; running her hands down her beloved's back to the gap between Willow's top and her slacks, for there she knew there would be skin. She needed to feel the skin of this woman, to see her eyes when she touched her.

Willow's eyes went wide and she couldn't help but curl her toes as she felt Buffy's fingers thread their way under her clothing, tracing electric circles across the most sensitive part of her back. "Your skin is amazing… " Buffy whispered, as she lifted her head up to capture Willow's inviting mouth, "… so soft."

Willow felt the fires building as they explored and teased each other with kisses, caresses and writhing bodies - she loved it. No one had ever made her feel so wanton and full of physical need. The last time they had been together she had begged for release, uttering words she had never known herself capable of saying out loud. Her abandon had come from trust and love, undeclared though it had been; she now knew that it had always been there nonetheless.

Pulling her mouth away from her beloved, the Wiccan smiled devilishly before sitting up astride her Slayer. A newfound confidence pushed aside her natural reserve, as she locked eyes with Buffy before beginning to unbutton her top. She wanted to see, she needed to know… and she was left in no doubt as Buffy broke their eye contact to watch intently as each button was released.

As she finally allowed her top to fall open, satisfaction filled her, as she noted Buffy visibly gulp. Reaching for the hands at her side Willow guided her beloved's hands towards her needy breasts, placing the Slayer's hands firmly just where she needed them. Pushing her chest forward, arching into Buffy's warm hands, Willow removed her own, throwing her head back.

As Willow's hips shifted against her pelvis, Buffy felt a familiar tightness between her legs, as she cupped and kneaded the perfectly formed treasures she had been offered. How could Willow apparently give her control and yet make her feel so out of control, so truly under her true love's power? It was incredible! Mesmerized by the feel of Willow slowly riding her, she knew she needed more, tracing her thumbs beneath the almost non-existent bra she lifted it up, releasing two perfectly formed breasts and their pert nipples. "Oh yes…" Buffy muttered, pulling herself up. "MINE," she growled as she surrounded a pink semi-hard nipple within her hungry mouth.

"Ahhhhh…" Willow exclaimed as a surge of passion exploded within her.

Buffy thrilled at the sound of Willow's moan. Focusing her caresses, she began to tease and tempt the captured nipple with her tongue and lips. Savoring the heady sensation and sweet taste of her true love as the nipple began to stand to attention under her ministrations, no longer pink but blazing red, the nipple seemed to be straining to burst like a fully ripened fruit. She gazed in amazement, allowing herself the visual pleasure she had been denied during their shadowed nights.

BtVS

As Cordelia helped her to stand, Faith couldn't help glancing at Xander's openly smirking face. 'He's enjoying seeing me like this,' she decided. 'Figures!' Glancing past him towards the kitchen, she met the annoyed eyes of Anya. 'What the hell's up with her? Was I snoring or something?'

Xander couldn't get over the looks of care and concern that kept crossing Cordelia's face as she helped the still-healing Faith to her feet. The dark slayer accepting help was one weird thing but add the cracks in the 'stone cold bitch face' that allowed him to see Faith's pain, discomfort and annoyance – that was brain freeze material. There was something very odd happening to the almost all women he thought he knew so well. But his ringside seat came in really handy as he saw Faith's right knee begin to slightly give way. Instinctively he moved forward to offer assistance.

Faith glared at him, causing him to back off just inches from her as Cordelia's loud cough caused the dark slayer to nod in acceptance of his help. But as he stepped into her right side and allowed her to grasp his forearm, Faith raised her voice, announcing to the room in general. "Just one misplaced hand, donut boy, and you'll need Viagra to keep Anya from buying shares in Duracell."

Xander pursed his lips, "You cut me with your… ooooh… words. I think I know the six-year old you stole them from?"

"Yeah. He asked when you were going to return his full-size Wonder Woman action figure," Faith responded, raising her eyebrow knowingly.

"Trust me, by now he doesn't want it back," Cordelia cringed. "I saw what he did to a life-size cut-out of Paula Abdul."

"Athletic cheerleaders, overly strong women in short skirts… I see a theme."

"And I was gonna ask where you were hiding the 'Freaky Faith' and 'Queen Cordelia'," Xander quipped. "Color this a bonus day. I get to drive you two; now mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever," he winked.

The banter continued, under Anya's exasperated gaze, as the trio made their way out of the apartment. As the trio approached the car, she tried to work out if Xander really did prefer the cheerleading or nurse's outfit?

Oblivious to Anya's musings, Xander led them towards his car.

Leaning Faith against the car, Cordelia caught a sudden movement out of the corner of her eye -- someone in black, in the shadows. It didn't take long for realization to sink in. 'It's way past dawn. What the hell is he still doing here?'

BtVS

Buffy had a distinct memory of just how each piece of clothing had been removed. Even the slight nervousness at being stark naked as the bright daylight streamed into the room could do nothing to diminish the arousing effect of their mutual strip tease. This would be something she would always remember.

She had seen a new side to her true love, a quiet unchallenging strength that somehow gave Buffy permission to be truly herself; to shed the armor, to lay aside her protection and the natural distrust she normally carried. Each caress, each kiss seemed to empower her to let more and more of herself out.

"I could spend forever touching you like this," Willow whispered, childlike pleasure exuding from her eyes.

"Forever is a long time," Buffy commented; her natural caution resurfacing before being swept away as Willow's naughty thumb began tracing the sensitive area of her inner knee, sending little electric shocks up and down her entire body and forcing her toes to clench.

"It could never be long enough," a mock innocent Willow responded, from behind big wide eyes, before she was unceremoniously flipped onto her back by an equally childlike Slayer.

BtVs

Cordelia gently closed the door behind Xander, throwing the deadbolt into position, before turning to gaze at the curled up form of Faith. It had taken both of them to help her up the three flights of stairs to this room and every movement had drained Faith. Despite her efforts to appear "five by five", she had seen it on the dark slayer's face and felt it in the tensing hand she had held.

Faith needed to sleep but before that she needed to eat something. Cordy was pretty damn sure that it had been hours since Faith had even remembered to eat. She hadn't eaten for several hours herself. Fighting her instinct to just cradle Faith in her arms, she made her way to the very basic kitchen area and opened the refrigerator.

She didn't know what she'd expected to find, but she was pleasantly surprised. Throwing Faith a look of approval, she was surprised to see her friend trying to stand. "Whoa! What do you think you're doing?" Cordelia yelped, stepping towards her.

"Nature calls," Faith quipped, her eyebrow lifting in annoyance.

Suddenly feeling very silly for not having thought of this, Cordelia stopped. "Okay. But I think you're gonna need a hand."

Raising a surprised eyebrow, Faith grinned. "Different equipment, no pointing required."

Cordelia pushed her tongue out of her partially opened mouth running it along her exposed teeth and tilted her head at Faith, "Really and there was I thinking that plumbing's just… well, plumbing the world over."

BtVS

"He what? How could he seriously think…? Why the hell would he…? That arrogant son of a… Damn it!" Holland Manners railed before sinking back into the well-upholstered chair and fixing his other-dimensional adviser with a steely glance. "This could greatly complicate matters."

"To a degree."

"To a degree? Are we even on the same page… the same line? In the long run this could change everything for us. Head Office has a very important role for him to play in the future of this firm. If his mind goes 'south for the summer'… But I don't suppose you consider that… oh, I don't know… change of inter-dimensional importance?" the Senior Partner responded sarcastically.

"Change is constant… within every dimension. Its importance is just a matter of perspective," the demon commented, shrugging with what appeared to be three shoulders.

"Profound and Cryptic…" Holland muttered shaking his head. "Do you even care how unhelpful that truly is?"

The demon simply smiled tolerantly, causing him to feel like a small ignorant child; not something he really wanted to acknowledge. Right now he was seriously contemplating putting out a 'hit' out on that interfering little wanna-be. But he needed to think, he needed to view this from all sides, all perspectives. Was there an upside to having Angel taken out of the equation?

BtVS

Buffy had never felt so satisfyingly alive with another person. Her rising passions were mixed with joyous abandon as she laid full length atop her tempting Willow, allowing her heady anticipation full reign, ignoring and quashing her natural instincts where physical relationships were concerned. Willow was gazing at her with such desire and pleasure, as she began to curl and thrust her pelvis into the captured body of her own true love. She raised her hips and dipped forward to capture a brief kiss before returning and allowing her pelvis to revisit the invitingly trimmed red hair between her Willow's legs.

Willow sucked in her cheeks, "OoooohhhhHHhhh!" she exclaimed in response to that arching pelvis as she began to writhe beneath the Slayer, eager to accept and express her sheer pleasure. An unheard music seemed to join them as they both found the same excruciating and exotic rhythm.

Below her had been the most exquisite carpet of Willow pleasures; every part of her true love's body seemed to be moving to meet her. But now, it was as if they were melting together, blending into one. She was unable to tell who the heartbeat she was hearing belonged to, let alone, whose body was leading and whose was following, in their snake-like writhing dance.

She could feel her wetness as it began to trickle from her. As Willow gasped, her eyebrows rose in surprise and Buffy realized that she wasn't alone in the knowledge. "See what you do to me," she mumbled, before growling in acknowledgement of her mounting desire.

Willow was in heaven, spreading her legs a little more, her senses overloaded by the deafening hum of passion as Buffy's hips deepened their movements to take advantage of her invitation. The repositioning of their limbs caused a shiver of anticipation to crawl over and under Willow's skin and into her body, into her very breathing. Her hands had now found Buffy's rear, which she thoroughly kneaded, demanding more. She had felt her beloved's juices flowing to join with her own and the sensation was mind-blowing. All doubt that she could arouse Buffy had vanished at that moment. Surprisingly, the feeling of empowerment mixed naturally with her desire to relinquish control. But she couldn't be bothered to analyze or question the contradiction – this was amazing and that was enough.

But she needed more, the hunger between her legs was beginning to scream, she needed…?? Instinct led her hand away from the taut muscles of the slayer's rear, bringing it to just above where their hips met and as if understanding her intent, Buffy raised herself just enough to allow her hand access. Sliding her hand between them, Willow raised her head to capture Buffy's sweet mouth, plowing in and exploring with every morsel of desire, as she slid her upturned hand down, down, down – 'ahhhh there it is.'

Their writhing allowed her very little movement, but the prominent, wet and sensitive bud at the center of the Slayer's movements told her all she needed to know as she gently brushed it and captured it between her index and middle fingers.

"Oh Yeeeessssssss," squealed Buffy as a wave of intense feeling seemed to wash over her brain, sweeping away her already dwindling control.

Matching her rhythm Willow gently pulled at the bundle of sensitive nerve endings, with every upward arch of Buffy's pelvis. A charge of satisfaction exploding within her as their rhythm became a pounding frenzy. The Slayer was throwing her hips back and forth, forcing her most tender of part to be almost stretched to its limits, her ride wanton and abandoned. Willow was in awe, every pelvic thrust and feel of Buffy's stretching clit, pushing her further and further towards the edge. She was so wet.

Eager to join Buffy's headlong gallop to pleasurable oblivion, she gave into the hunger, thrusting her own hips to meet Buffy's downwards plunge.

Gasping as they ground into each other, Willow won the battle of tongues, diving almost to the back of her true love's throat before releasing Buffy's mouth and allowing herself to let loose a guttural scream of pleasure as she squeezed her beloved's now distended clit, between her forefingers, causing Buffy to grind into her, arching and momentarily holding still.

Willow's mouth now attached itself to her Slayer's left breast and as she tortured it with her lips, tongue and teeth, she could feel every muscle of Buffy's body tense in anticipation, causing her to tremble. And now it was her turn to growl – "MINE". Knowing what was so near, the Wiccan offered a silent prayer for release as she finally moved her fingers, milking the Slayer's sensitive bud, as she thrust upwards with every one of her remaining needs.

"Oh Noooooooo…" Buffy yelled, as she felt herself falling, plunging towards heaven. She was almost there and Willow's loving dual assault on her nipple and her bud would surely get her there. "Please," she begged, holding her breath. Her very heart seemed to release with the final intense squeeze of Willow's wonderful fingers and nip of her teeth, as she felt herself welcome the intense orgasm as it washed over her entire being.

As she felt Buffy come, her juices oozing down between her open legs, Willow felt as if the top of her head unscrewed. "Ahhhhhhhh… Ohhh Goddess… Yes… So… beautiful."

"Yesssssss… Willow… Ohhhh Yessssss!"

"Ohhhhhh Yesss, Yes!… Buffy! Yes!" Willow screamed, acknowledging her own release as she plunged over the edge and into a satisfying mutual oblivion.

BtVS

Much Thanks to Lilly the Treasure