Disclaimer: I do not own the Protector of the Small series or any of the characters or settings in it.

Summary: Raoul, Alanna and Gary find Kel and Dom after a big night out. As punishment, Raoul tells Kel and Dom they must retrace their steps from the night before, and fix any problems they created. Along the way they must ask themselves many important questions such as 'Why is that cat's fur blue?', 'Who's the crazy guy with an obsession with Kel's feet?', and most importantly, 'What in Mithros' name did we do to Neal?'.

TARGET PRACTICE

Chapter One: Isn't that Kel?

The war with Scanra was over, and many of the Tortallan knights that had been deployed along the border had been given time off, and had headed back to Corus to spend the Midwinter there. Four such knights, namely Merric of Hollyrose, Seaver of Tasride, Faleron of King's Reach and Owen of Jesslaw, were making their way down to the mess hall for lunch one afternoon when they stumbled upon a rather unusual sight in one of the palace's many corridors.

Faleron blinked once. Twice. And a third time for good measure.

"Isn't that Kel?"

Seaver leaned closer to determine if it was indeed Kel.

"I think it is. But who's the guy with her?"

Merric snorted, and answered his friends, voice clearly showing his amusement. "That would be Domitan of Masbolle, Sergeant in the Third Company of the Kings Own."

"Neal's cousin," Owen added helpfully.

Faleron blinked a few times more, trying to process this information and take in the picture before him at the same time.

"Oh."

Lying before the knights, on the floor of the corridor was Dom and Kel, both fast asleep. Dom's stomach was up against Kel's back, and he had one arm wrapped tightly around her waist while the other was being used as a pillow by Kel. Kel had one hand in front of her face and the other was resting on top of Dom's arm around her waist.

Dom chose that moment to open one of his eyes and peer blearily up at the people in front of him. He stared around in bewilderment for a moment before groaning at the harshness of the sun, shutting his eye again and burying his face in Kel's hair.

"He's hung over!" gasped Owen.

"What's the bet that Kel is too?" snickered Merric.

Faleron tore his gaze from the two people asleep on the floor to stare at Merric.

"But Kel doesn't drink!"

"Oh?" scoffed Merric. "So she just chose to lie down and go to sleep in a rather compromising position in the middle of a corridor with a drunken Dom, while she was sober?"

Faleron winced and turned to stare at Kel and Dom again.

"….Good point."

"What should we do with them?" asked an extremely agitated Seaver, shooting glances up and down the corridor nervously.

Merric grinned. "Leave them there. I'm sure they'll wake up sooner or later."

An extremely evil look came over Owen's face, and the other knights backed away in fright. "Jolly idea Merric. You know, I do believe that milord Raoul's chambers are somewhere around here."

Owen walked away, evil grin still intact, not noticing the terrified look that passed between his friends.

"Remind me to never piss him off," muttered Seaver. Merric and Faleron nodded emphatically.

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Half an hour later Alanna, Raoul and Gary were walking back to Raoul's chambers from the same mess hall the other knights had been heading too. Raoul and Alanna were involved in a rather exuberant discussion on the knights of today and their role in the kingdom. Gary was watching them with no small amount of amusement while secretly thinking that they were both wrong. Alanna and Raoul were so caught up in their argument that neither of them noticed the two forms lying on the ground until it was too late, and Raoul had tripped over them and gone crashing to the ground.

"What in Mithros' name!" roared Raoul while Alanna and Gary cackled with laughter.

Kel and Dom blearily opened their eyes and stared at the burly Knight Commander.

"Milord?"

"Raoul?"

Both groaned simultaneously and pulled themselves up, clutching their heads and squinting against the afternoon sun.

"Kel? Dom? Want to explain to me what you two were doing SLEEPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CORRIDOR TOGETHER?"

"Please milord," whimpered Kel, "could you not speak so loud, sir?"

Alanna's laughter doubled in volume and she leaned against the wall, clutching her sides while Gary watched on in confusion and bemusement.

"So. You're both hung over, are you? So what, exactly, did you two do last night?"

"All I can remember is going into the Dancing Dove with Dom and Neal and after that everything goes a bit blurry," Kel blurted, before slapping her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

"Neal?" Alanna asked, curious. "I haven't seen Neal since lunch yesterday, and a couple of your friends said they couldn't find him today either."

Raoul noticed that Dom was shifting from foot to foot and just generally looking guilty. He growled, loudly. "Do-om. What did you do?"

"Um," Dom squeaked, and unconsciously moved to stand behind Kel. "I'm not sure exactly. But I do remember something involving a tree, a lot of rope and some rather high-pitched squealing."

"Yep," Alanna grinned, "that's Neal."

Kel moaned again. "Oh god. He could be anywhere!"

Raoul suddenly grinned evilly (even eviler than Owen, as he had no jollyness to set off the evilness of his evil grin like Owen, and he also had a lot more practice at being evil).

"Well then. I guess you'll just have to find him, won't you. After all, Neal is rather delicate. We wouldn't want Yuki to go after you with that gods-cursed fan of hers for damaging him, now would we? So you have until sunset to find Neal and rescue him, as well as find out everything else you did last night. If you damaged anything, either repair it or arrange for it to be fixed and pay the cost of reparations. If you insulted anyone, or annoyed anyone, apologize and smooth things over. Can't have any of the people mad at the second Lady Knight and one of the top Sergeants of the Own. It reflects badly on the monarchs of the kingdom."

Alanna and Gary stared at Raoul as though he had just declared his undying love for Peachblossom, while Kel and Dom continued backing away in fear. Raoul gave them one last evil grin (Dom shuddered) and practically dragged Alanna and Gary down the hall and into his rooms.

"We're doomed," Dom commented sadly, staring morosely at the retreating form of his Commander.

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Raoul only let go of his friends and comrades when they were safely locked inside his room. He then proceeded to fall on his bed and laugh uproariously. Gary swore he could feel the castle walls shaking around them from the force of Raoul's laughter.

"Um, Raoul? As fun as that was, you don't think you could clue me in as to what just happened?"

"Oh, right sorry Gary. That was Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan (incase you didn't know) and Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle. He's in Third Company, one of my best. And incidentally, cousin to Alanna's old squire, Nealan of Queenscove, remember him? He's rather hard to forget. Anyway, to fully understand what just happened, you have to know three things. One, is that Kel is normally one of the quietest people you'll meet. She doesn't drink, doesn't speak out of turn to her superiors, doesn't even show emotion around people she doesn't know (like conservatives). And she most certainly does NOT get drunk with a Sergeant of the Kings Own, spend a wild night and finally fall asleep in the middle of a castle corridor with said Sergeant. Two, is that Neal and Dom don't really get along. They love each other sure, but Dom delights in tormenting Neal and has called him 'Meathead' for as long as I can remember. Neal, in turn, thinks his cousin is one of the most annoying, obnoxious people alive. And the third, and possibly most important thing you must know is that I have had reason to believe that Kel and Dom have liked each other for some time now, only neither of them will admit it. Understand now?"

By now Alanna had joined Raoul's little laughing fest and managed to choke out, "So you punished them so harshly so they'd have to spend at least a day together, going over all the embarrassing things they did last night? Raoul, that's brilliant!"

Gary watched his two insane friends with a small smile on his face, then left them to their scheming. Life was certainly going to be interesting for the Lady Knight and Sergeant Dom with Raoul and Alanna plotting against them.