Hey all! Just felt like writing this one night when I was really pensive. It's about Ban being a bit sad and pondering over what he would do if he lost Ginji. We all know that Ban really cares about Ginji, even though he does not open up his feelings as much as Ginji does. I hope you like this! Enjoy and please leave a review.


You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

- Jimmy Eat World, 23

Fulfilment

All though everyhing seemed alright, something was missing. He needed to feel something, something different from everything else he already felt. He stared at the dark sky. The bitter air enveloped him, causing his body to freeze. He trembled. He wanted to feel something. He wanted to see something, besides the darkness.

He was used to being alone. One day, he decided that he did not want to be alone anymore. He wanted to feel something else. Not loneliness, but fulfilment. He wanted to do something else besides walking aimlessly down a straight and barren road.

And then he came into his empty life, filling it immediately. A person quite the opposite of him, yet there were many similarities. He had been alone too, despite being surrounded by countless of faces. It was a different kind of loneliness, but still under the same category. He too wanted to see something besides darkness. He wanted to feel something else. They both craved for something more. More light.

They were different, but the same. Dark hair shined besides a crown of wispy blonde locks. Ocean eyes glowed, intertwining with brown orbs that were brighter than any star. Both eyes longed for something more. Combined they were kind, cheerful, smart, strong and careful. They did not always realize it, but they fulfilled each other. Together, they were unbreakable. Together, they were not alone. They felt something different, saw something new, together.


Ban woke up in the middle of the night. Such a strange dream he had envisioned. It was captured in his mind. He glanced carefully to his left, making sure his partner was asleep, or actually, if he was there and alright. Of course he was. His partner usually slept heavily, sometimes in constant movement, other times in complete stillness, like now. He smiled warmly, before staring out of the limited window. It s so dark, that he was certain that it was solid for a moment. He knew better though. Sometimes, the darkness seemed like liquid, that he could touch it and create ripples.

He stepped silently out of the car, not wanting to wake him up. It had just rained, so the streets were wet, reflecting the starry sky. Sometimes, he just wanted to fly away. He knew he could not, and even if he wanted to, he did not want to fly away without him. Being alone was something he did not want to relive. No matter what, he would protect him. However, what would happen if he actually did lose him? What would he do? He knew what the answer was… He would just sink. He would be alone again. He could never cope with that feeling. Sometimes, he forgot how fragile humans were. When you spend so much time with a person, you come to believe that they are flawless.

That was definitely not the case. He could lose Ginji tomorrow, especially with their line of work. What would he do then? He knew: he would just fall. And never land on secure ground. It was strange of him to think like this, but after having that dream and all...

"Ban-chan?" He heard a voice ask softly. He turned around, noticing his friend staring inquisitively at him. Ban gave him a smile of acknowledgement, before turning around again, feeling the wind ensnare him with pensiveness.

"Did I wake you up, Ginji?" Ban asked, staring blankly at the distant city lights that vaguely glistened amongst the trees. They had decided to drive away. They just felt like going somewhere, far away from the stretching city that was drowned with noise.

"No, I just felt cold and woke up. Then you were gone and I got pretty worried. That was stupid of me, because I should have known you were close by." Ginji replied, laughing apologetically. He approached Ban with a sincere smile. Ban looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Idiot… You know I'm never far away." Ban proclaimed, releasing a sigh in the process. He smiled though, warmly. And it was that smile that really exposed his feelings. It revealed everything to Ginji.

"Sorry…!" Ginji blurted out, smiling. Ban shifted his gaze to the sky again. A strange feeling covered them. It was pleasant at first, but then Ginji sensed that Ban was trying to hide something. He felt something inside of Ban swirl. Something was bothering him. Knowing Ban though, he would rather not unlock the box and open it up. Well, he would eventually though. He just needed some endless encouragement from Ginji, that's all. They both knew that it was going to float out soon.

"What are you thinking about, Ban-chan?" Ginji asked, a tone woven with concern. His brown pools were filled with a pure softness. Ban sighed again, realizing that he had been beaten already.

"I never thought I would be thinking about this…" He began, clearly. His eyes were still affixed to the dark blanket that covered the immortal sky.

"I actually thought about what I would do if something happened to you." He finally answered, sincerely. His voice seemed distant and low. He looked at Ginji now, to analyze his reaction. Ginji's face was painted with a seriousness that he only wore when it involved Ban. He eyes were glowing with an indescribable understanding. Then he smiled. It broke the negativity that flowed through Ban like glass.

The darkness did not seem so consuming when Ginji was around. No matter how dark it was; if Ginji was there, it seemed lighter somehow. He smiled.

"I know how you feel. But don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." Ginji said, encouragingly. Ban's expression did not soften, it remained hard.

"You and I are not invincible." He said, strongly. Ginji's face did not falter; it only gained a stronger brightness.

"No, but we are strong. We fill each other's holes. If you fall, I'll pick you up. If I fall, you'll be there. It's worked out so far, so don't worry." Ginji explained, serious and relaxed at the same time. That smile of his was so damn inerasable. That was something Ginji often compensated for Ban. He smiled when Ban did not. He even tried to give him his.

He was right though.

It was like in his dream; they fulfil each other masterfully, making up for each other's flaws.

"Man, do I feel mad when you are right." Ban stated, with a weak smile adorning his face.

He was right. And it was not his optimism that was convincing, it was his pure words. Ban usually never fell into a pool of doubt, but when he did, all he needed was Ginji to pull him out, again proving their compensation.

Ban looked at him with grateful eyes, before deciding to break the serious air. He punched Ginji playfully on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Ginji!" He said, warmly. His hand stayed on Ginji's shoulder. Suddenly, Ban had a strange, mellow look on his face, as they stared at each other for a moment. Slowly, Ban wordlessly embraced him, holding him tightly with his strong arms. He rested his forehead on Ginji's shoulder, absorbing his warmth. He needed it, because he felt cold. It was just one of those days…

"Ban-chan…" Ginji whispered, rather surprised by Ban's unexpected actions. He anticipated that he just needed someone close to him, for just one moment. Every heavy heart needed that. Ginji smiled appreciatively, before patting his back, wanting to remind him that he was there.

They would always be there for each other; ascertaining each other that they would never be alone again.


Hope you liked it.

-Curlybear