So... whats on Yami's answering machine..?
Disclaimer: I OWN THE ANSWERING MACHINE, YAY, but not yugioh...

Message 1:
Hi Yami, it's Yugi.
I'm round at Ryou's to help him tidy up cos his Dad is coming over tommorow-
Don't let any strangers in
Don't set anything on fire
Don't try to cook, theres some bread on the work top. Just eat that
Don't invite anyone over
Don't leave the house
Don't start a shadow duel over the internet with anyone
-ok?
see you in a while
Oh! and Bakura says he'll kill you in your sleep
I'm sure he doesn't mean it though

Message 2:
Ex-Pharoah of Stupidness,
I challenge you to a shadow duel!
Can I come over? I wont bring matches this time
If I can't can you come over here?
I bet Yugi's put loadsa rules down while he's over at Ryou's
Gotta go Ishizu's here
She's such a slut
Bye from Marik!

Message 3:
Yami.
I'm sorry for my brother, he has had some of Malik's medication...
The world is in great danger.
You must come to my house immediatly
Lots of love...
I mean
Love
I mean
from Ishizu

Message 4:
evil laughter
Yelling: SHUT UP BAKURA OR I WONT HERE THE BEEP...
Is this thing recording?I hate these bloody things
(microwave beeps in backgound)
Hi yami
It's Ryou.
I just wanted to tell you Yami Malik is on the loose and Marik is with him.
Ishizu says she thinks they're heading to your place
floorboard creeks
Deeper voice: damnit
(running is heard)
YAMI GET BACK HERE!
umm... Bakura's loose aswell
Good luck from Ryou!

Message 5:
lots of evil laughter

Message 6:
Hey this is for my dearest friend Yugi
I just want to tell him I love him
I know if he doesn't feel the same he'll still be such a great friend
Lots and lots of love
Tea

Message 7:
It's Marik
Ummm, I'm in jail and Ryou's numbers engaged
Will you please come bail me out Pharoah?
Please?
I can only make this call cos Bakura stole the gurads phone
(whispers) you don't have to bail him out, or my Yami
(yelling from someone else) I heard that!
(someone new takes the phone)
GET YOUR A$$ HERE NOW FARROW OR DIE!
(handing phone back)
Thanks, from Mark.

Message 8:
Yugi, you there? It's Joey
Kaiba's kidnapped me and..
mmm, fmmthe smfm
(phone clicks off)

Message 9:
Hey again Yami,
Are you STILL in bed?
Ryou wants me to call you to ask if you've heard from Marik, Malik, or Bakura...
No wait, he says just from Bakura
Aww I thnk they're an item, Ryou's bright red
yelling in background WE ARE NOT AN ITEM
ok they're not
Well, I'll be back in about half an hour anyway
Yugi

A loud explosion outside caused Yami to be shook out of bed
The phone rang. Yami groaned and ignored it, curling up on the floor.

Message 10:
Haha we escaped and blew up your cat!
evil laughter
by the way Bakura fancies you
choking noise is heard
hehe now Marik get choked
From your enemy,
Yami Malik

Yami's eyes flew open and he listened to all the messages.
It seemed both Ishizu and Bakura had a crush on him
Ryou had a crush on Bakura
Tea had a crush on Yugi
Joey had been kidnapped by Seto
And his cat had undoubtedly been killed
...Interesting

well... that was crap, but it's only my second attempt at humour so meh, get over it.
review please?