There are a hundred reasons why Lee Adama should not love her. There are a thousand reasons why he does not love her. There are a million reasons why he cannot help but love her.
She's always so fraking cold with him, determined to keep him at arm's distance. He could blame it on his baby brother or just their shared past in general. Whichever way, he knows what she was doing, and she knows he knows. Neither one will ever point it out.
The talent she has in the air rivals his own. Most times, she surpasses him. She's that good. Is it any wonder that he constantly thanks the gods for putting her on his side? Or more accurately at his side?
The first time he met her was on his twenty-third birthday. His mother surprised him with a party, and she flew Zak in from the Academy, new girlfriend in tow. Within the first two minutes of conversation, Kara had loudly labeled him a 'cocky bastard who probably had a stick shoved so far up his ass that he could cough it out' and then promptly pushed him into the pool in Caroline Adama's backyard. He could remember staring up at her, water dripping in his eyes, and wondering if maybe his brother had gotten it right for once.
She laughs at the dreams he's had, telling him that they never quite fit the reality of the world they live in. She suggests he start grounding himself more in reality, and then she laughs even harder. Lee can't bear to tell her that nowadays all he dreams about is her laughter.
People label them a walking contradiction. 'They' make no sense to everyone around them, and at the same time, everyone admits that 'they' make perfect sense. She's both his problem and his solution.
She's the one he finds himself running to. If he needs help fixing a problem in the roster or if he just needs someone to make him laugh and keep him from becoming too weighed down by life, she's the one Lee seeks out.
Her innocent smile is tinged with a sadness he can't crack.
She's pure pain, the source of an agony Lee had never known before she waltzed into his life.
He's shared many personal moments with her in the years they've known each other. Some were humiliating and some were heroic. All of them were things he had never thought he would tell another soul. Being with her made him forget that he couldn't say whatever was on his mind. He forgot about consequences or propriety. There was only her, and she was with him. That's all he needed to know.
He learned the hard way that when it comes to sharing things with her, nothing stays a secret for long. She always finds some way to work a story about him into every triad game she plays. It earned him numerous humiliating nicknames and, strangely enough, the respect of the pilots who served under him.
She did small things like that for him. It made her hard to read. Lee just files it away as a mystery that no one can ever solve.
People can't understand how she keeps herself going as life deals her endless hard knocks. Lee knows. He understands. After all, he has watched her for what seems like an eternity. She fuels herself on the attitude that radiates from every inch of her body. She's tough, and she's not afraid to let you know it with a killer right hook. As long as she can keep up her successful mask, no one will be able to understand that she's just as scared as the rest of them.
Lately, she's taken to ignoring him when he enters a room. That only makes it worse. He only dreams about her more when she won't talk to him.
She's pure pleasure.
Lee has seen evidence time and again that she would do anything for him. She may ignore him most of the time, and she might hate him for the rest of the time. But when he is in trouble, she pulls out all the stops.
It's the same for him, too. It feels like it's been that way forever. If she was in trouble, he would do anything for her. It's the one thing in Lee's life that makes perfect sense. Thoughts like that knock him right off his feet whenever he actually takes the time to figure out where this devotion came from.
When she was in pain and he tried to comfort her, she would get this look on her face. He likes to refer to it as her 'preemptive strike' look. She knows he wants to help ease her pain, but pain is what fuels her when the attitude runs out. She thinks it's the only thing she can rely on.
She'd rather be alone, she says, and he steps away. He never really leaves, though. Isolation and quiet is not really what she wants. It would destroy her if she ever really got it.
Just another reason how she doesn't even know how well he knows her.
Whenever he closes his eyes, the picture of her face in a rare moment of happiness springs to fill his head. Every word she ever said to him rings through his head. Those words are laced with meaning that he hasn't even begun to comprehend. She's such a complex woman.
Lately, the words have still been there when he opens his eyes.
During the quiet hours on CAP, the stress of knowing her creeps in. He finds himself wondering if she's too much for him. Then he imagines his life without her, and he knows that he could never get enough of her. She's shaped him into who he is.
She knows exactly the right thing to say to ruin his whole day. It's a skill he's let her perfect over the years.
There are a hundred reasons why Lee Adama should not love her. There are a thousand reasons why he does not love her. There are a million reasons why he cannot help but love her.
But there is only one reason why he chooses to love her every day of his life.
She is Kara Thrace, and she is the girl he hadn't even known he was looking for.