Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki, quite simply.

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Kyoto, 1888

"I can't take care of an infant."

His voice was void of all emotion, yet the couple in front of him could sense the anguish that emitted from him in waves.

It engulfed the entirety of this small inn, not much different from the Oniwaban headquarters, which less than a month ago had been filled with cheer and laughter. And now, a gloomy stillness had settled over the Aoiya, even the city itself seemed in mourning, the sky was overcast with dark clouds, and the rain was relentless as it fell hard against the roof.

The couple themselves were deeply grieved; the past few days had been a blur of pain and disbelief that had taken them completely by surprise.

Kaoru Himura blinked rapidly as she lowered her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to break her composure. It was hard to control her trembling as the familiar face of a smiling woman continued to surface in her mind.

Beside her, her husband was perfectly still, his hands resting in his lap. Yet the sorrow that was engraved in his face could not be hidden under any mask.

The fact that the tall man in front of them could even wear such a mask was enough to have them fear for his health.

"Aoshi-san," Kenshin tried again, trying to keep his voice calm, "I do not believe Mis--"

"Don't speak her name!" the former Okashira hissed.

Kaoru bit her lip as Kenshin fell silent. This was a nightmare, she was certain of it. A nightmare that had lasted too many days already.

It seemed only yesterday, she, Kenshin and their eight year old son Kenji had come to Kyoto to visit their Oniwaban friends at the Aoiya, and to eagerly await the birth of a child. Their holiday however, took an unexpected and horrific twist that none of them could have forseen.

Misao suddenly fell ill, for reasons the doctors could not fathom.

Megumi had even left Aizu earlier than she planned when she received word of the complications, and worked all through the night, doing all she could to help their friend.

No one else was allowed inside the room, as was the custom, but no one could have prepared themselves for the shock when Megumi had come out, looking visibly distraught with the news that Misao had passed away.

Kaoru had fainted. Kenshin and almost everyone else present had openly wept. Everyone else except for Aoshi. The man had simply left without so much as a backwards glance, retreating to stay at an obscure inn called the Ryoka in downtown Kyoto.

That had been three weeks ago. Misao had been buried on the third day, everyone but her husband had attended her funeral.

No matter how much they tried, they could not get him to come.

Then there was the issue of the infant, whom Aoshi refused to see, mentioning her only when he named her 'Machiko'. It meant 'fortunate' and when asked why, in the hopes that he would give some sort of reaction to his daughter's birth, Aoshi had simply stated, "Well, she is fortunate to be alive is she not? She had good fortune, unlike her mother." This response had caused several worried glances but none of them could comment.

The grief had still been fresh in their hearts.

Three long weeks passed, and finally Okina begged the couple to say something to him. This was madness, the old man had said, eyes still sunken with sorrow. Something had to be done. Their hopes were raised when they received a message from Aoshi, asking the Himuras to meet him at his inn.

But it appeared their friend had only let them in for one reason.

"You will take the child and raise her as your own."

It wasn't even a question. Kaoru struggled to say something but her tongue felt unable to form the words.

"If it's money you are worried about, then it's not a problem." Aoshi dropped a leather bag in front of them. "The amount here will be more than enough for all her expenses."

Again, Kaoru tried to form the words she wished to say, but her mouth stayed shut. She refused to look at the bag, feeling a little insulted but more worried than anything else. She knew from experience that once Aoshi had made his mind up over something, there was nothing that could be done to change it. Unless...

"Your life is in danger Aoshi-san," Kenshin responded carefully, meeting the man's gaze.

Compassionate violet locked with expressionless green.

"From who exactly?"

Kenshin did not look away. "From yourself."

Aoshi stared at him for a long time, as if contemplating whether it was worth it to even speak at all. But Kenshin was a longtime friend of his, and even in the clutch of grief, he would not disrespect him.

"You have good intentions," he remarked finally, his gaze boring into Kenshin with it's intensity. "And indeed, it's worked before. But this is not the same as that day..all those years ago... Because this time..."

He swallowed, and for a moment, struggled to keep his composure, "There is no one important to me that you have made a promise to."

Kenshin felt helpless. They all felt the pain of Misao's death, but even worse, was the pain of seeing Aoshi like this. The old man was right, it was madness.

Aoshi could not afford to let himself fall.

He had to be strong, not only because Misao would have wanted it, but for the sake of their daughter as well. Kenshin knew he was stepping into dangerous territory, but he couldn't let his friend make a mistake like this. If he had to be harsh, then so be it. Misao would have demanded no less from him.

"You're being cowardly."

"Excuse me?"

Aoshi's eyes narrowed. Brief anger flashed across his face, and Kenshin felt a ray of hope. An angry Aoshi was better to deal with than an emotionless one.

"You are a coward because you are willing to just abandon your daughter. She is a helpless infant, and you would leave her for the sake of your own selfishness."

Aoshi clenched his fists. "How dare you," he uttered coldly. "Do you have any idea what I've been through?"

"Yes," Kenshin replied quietly. "I too, once lost a loved one. I know that the grief you feel is unbearable. I know it because I have felt it. Your very being feels as though it is being split in two. And it is a grief that will never leave you. It is a wound that will always leave a scar."

"And that is supposed to make me feel better?" Aoshi whispered, his face a shade paler.

Kaoru felt her worry rise as she raised her eyes slightly to meet her husband's. He gently squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"Aoshi...wounds heal with time," Kenshin said gently. "You must let your daughter heal it with you. Machiko needs you, that she does."

He suddenly turned to his wife. "Kaoru-dono, would you please leave the two of us alone for just a moment?"

Kaoru nodded, grateful that she could leave the lethal scenario.

Anything, even preparing tea in the small kitchen in the downstairs room, seemed a better prospect. Kenji was also asleep downstairs, so she would go and check on him, see if his cold was any better. But Aoshi raised a hand, motioning her to stay.

"I realise what you're doing," he said quietly to Kenshin, face slipping back into the expressionless mask.

"Wise of you, asking the lady to leave. But I recall asking both of you to be present. And the reason I did, is to inform you of my definite leave. More importantly, I am asking you to take the child in. I would leave her with Okina and the others, but I don't wish for her to grow up with the Oniwaban. I want her to be as far away from that life as possible. I want her to be raised within a proper family, like yours. In fact, I would see it as repayment for all the help I have given you."

"Aoshi-san," Kaoru began, looking a little frightened. "If you please, Kenji..."

"Of course," Aoshi replied, without taking his eyes off Kenshin. "Forgive me if I have made you uncomfortable."

"Not at all," the raven haired woman squeaked. She bowed, and with a scrape of the fusuma screen, left the room.

Without her presence, the silence was now heavy with tension. The two men stared at each other.

Kenshin struggled to calm the whirlwind in his head, trying to formulate a way to have Aoshi stay and look after his daughter.

But the more he thought about it, the more impossible it seemed. If Aoshi didn't want to go near the Aoiya, or be near the other Oniwaban, there was no possibly way that he could take care of a small infant all by himself.

And since he had not been the Okashira, there was no reason for him to even stay in Kyoto, although Kenshin knew that his reason for leaving the place was because it reminded him too much of his wife. But there has to be a way, he thought desperately.I can't let him do this...

Aoshi sensed his counterpart's struggle through his ki. He let out a bitter laugh.

"You see, there is no other way." He stood up.

Kenshin followed slowly, unsure of what to do. But one thing had settled inside his mind, and although it pained him to admit it, he knew it was right. There were no options. He and Kaoru had to take Machiko in. She couldn't be raised by the Oniwaban, and Aoshi was in no state to be the father an infant needed.

And Kenshin could not allow the child of their friends to be placed in an orphanage. It was unthinkable.

"Will you," Kenshin's voice was hesitant, but Aoshi could see the pleading behind his eyes. "Will you come back for her?"

For a moment, the former Oniwaban leader was stunned to see that his friend had accepted to take in his child. Relief and gratefulness would have washed over him if it were not for the immense cold that had drenched his soul the past three weeks.

"It is unlikely."

Aoshi reached for the bag of money and thrust it into Kenshin's hand. "Don't tell me you won't take it," he said, his voice slightly harsh. "This is my payment and you must accept. I can't give you the burden of an additional child, without giving you the means of support as well."

Kenshin nodded slowly. He was still dazed as to what was happening.

"I believe this is goodbye then."

"I wish it weren't so." Kenshin answered quietly.

"So do I."

"You won't... even see her?"

"There is no point in such a gesture. I can't give her the life she deserves. I know you can."

"You want me to raise her as my own?"

"Yes. Her last name should be Himura. Do not let her know the truth. For her own good."

Kenshin felt the lump in his throat but didn't try to fight it. "I will give her the same protection and love as I do my son. You have nothing to worry about."

"Thank you." For a moment he thought he saw tears in the taller man's eyes. But as he moved, he realised it was only a trick of the light.

I wish...I wish that I could have saved you once more. But...

They gripped hands. "Farewell Kenshin."

"Farewell."

Then Aoshi turned towards the window, hands clasped behind his back. Kenshin took this as his cue to leave. Before moving though, he asked him one last question.

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know."

Without another word, the red haired man slipped from the room, made his way downstairs, and collected his family.

Kenji, coughing slightly, watched his mother with worried blue eyes as he was pulled along. "Mama," he whispered. "Is Uncle Aoshi coming back?"

The silence of his parents confirmed the answer and Kenji bit his lip, not saying another word.

As they walked, the couple dared not to give another backwards glance. That desolate inn had become another painful memory to them now. But if they had turned, they would have seen Aoshi still standing at the window, watching them go, his face expressionless yet wet with tears.

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